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WTF Alchemy Request – NSFW

58 comments on WTF Alchemy Request – NSFW

  1. qwertygirl
    December 16, 2010 at 9:33 am

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -40

  2. LeeLooDallas
    December 16, 2010 at 9:38 am

    Moon. Township.
    This stuff writes itself!

    Thumb up Thumb down +37

  3. curlytopnola
    December 16, 2010 at 9:39 am

    wow. looks like the predator had a little goatse for breakfast…

    Thumb up Thumb down +73

  4. LeeLooDallas
    December 16, 2010 at 9:41 am

    Whoever fulfills this order, please include an alien head so that we can keep this epic battle alive!

    Thumb up Thumb down +92

  5. curlytopnola
    December 16, 2010 at 9:43 am

    would this be as a warning? like an extreme “do not enter” sign?
    or is this a “come hither” to that special sci-fi freak in your life.
    the reason i ask (and in the same AVP vein) is because even better than this would be the Alien mouth that shoots out a tinier metal Alien mouth dripping with acid. now THAT would rock your world. or outer-space as the case may be.

    Thumb up Thumb down +94

  6. Qui
    December 16, 2010 at 9:47 am

    That’s a hell of a kink.

    Thumb up Thumb down +89

  7. Wilma Fingerdoo
    December 16, 2010 at 9:54 am

    I’d choose the Cougar predator model.
    Then at least you could wear it with your kitty mask and whip set.

    Thumb up Thumb down +22

  8. whimsiclesthenics
    December 16, 2010 at 9:54 am

    Hi. I’d like to request a butt plug that looks like a guy wearing a butt plug that looks like a predator with a butt plug in its mouth. The butt plug in the predator’s mouth should look like Spock sporting an Enterprise butt plug, and if you look inside the Enterprise, you need to be able to see both Captain Picard AND Captain Janeway, each wearing R2D2 buttplugs. R2D2 should have a Princess Leia butt plug, but Princess Leia should not have a butt plug because there should still be something left sacred in this world, and after all, it’s the holidays.

    Ideal price: $2 or, if you want to barter, I have a lot of used butt plugs around.

    Thumb up Thumb down +451

  9. urbangriever
    December 16, 2010 at 9:55 am

    Oh, jeeze this kills me. I had to comment because I live 20 minutes from Moon Township (which is not far from outside of Pittsburgh) and I can think of 3 people from that area who would post this request … and ALL of them are straight.

    Thumb up Thumb down +71

  10. Snargasm
    December 16, 2010 at 9:57 am

    Cool idea for an anti-rape device! Who wouldn’t shrivel at the imagery alone?

    Thumb up Thumb down +45

  11. TheSheep
    December 16, 2010 at 10:03 am

    I still remember the days in my life before I knew about goatse and predator buttplugs. Ah, for my lost innocence…
    Now hand me the Doritos. What we got next??! XD

    Thumb up Thumb down +167

  12. Jess-sicle
    December 16, 2010 at 10:11 am

    I’m guessing that it already does.

    Thumb up Thumb down +23

  13. quillandbarbs
    December 16, 2010 at 10:11 am

    #5 curlytopnola: Would the smaller alien be triggered by air pressure like a blow-out party noisemaker (ex: http://www.partycheap.com/Party_Blowout_Noisemakers_sold_100_per_box_p/66014-100.htm)? I’m a bit horrified that I’m speculating on the engineering process…

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  14. KibblesNBits
    December 16, 2010 at 10:12 am

    Howsabout a buttplug that makes your asshole look like To Catch a Predator’s Mouth?

    Eh? Eh? See what I did with that play on words? Sigh…I got nothing.

    Unfortunately, I just sew and knit so I can’t make this for you. But if you ever need a cozy for your Chris Hansen buttplug, convo me!

    Thumb up Thumb down +63

  15. BillsBayou
    December 16, 2010 at 10:14 am

    This request (and the Predator/Goatse photo) really puts the “ass” in “Nassty!”

    Thumb up Thumb down +22

  16. Patty got abducted by a Steampunk Alien
    December 16, 2010 at 10:15 am

    That is one level of fandom I never, ever want to meet in person.

    Thumb up Thumb down +48

  17. karmasuture
    December 16, 2010 at 10:17 am

    Moon Township… I am not surprised. It’s by the Pittsburgh airport. Enroute to the airport, the sign reads “Airport Beaver / Moon Cargo”.

    Represent.

    Thumb up Thumb down +16

  18. sadpanda
    December 16, 2010 at 10:19 am

    That’s funny, I thought Preparation H was specifically designed to help people NOT have an asshole that looks like Predator.

    Wow. Not only can I not believe that I just typed that sentence, but that I also researched it to see if Preparation H is hyphenated or not.

    Thumb up Thumb down +141

  19. WhyLikeThis
    December 16, 2010 at 10:23 am

    seriously, how does our species still exist?
    we are so fucked if bears ever figure out doorknobs.

    Thumb up Thumb down +172

  20. BillsBayou
    December 16, 2010 at 10:24 am
  21. DTKMKihn.blogspot.com
    December 16, 2010 at 10:24 am

    Hey if you’re going to wear a butt-plug why not make it kick-ass?

    Thumb up Thumb down +25

  22. captaincavegirl
    December 16, 2010 at 10:24 am

    Who else is suddenly REALLY hungry?

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  23. DTKMKihn.blogspot.com
    December 16, 2010 at 10:25 am

    Or would that be bite-ass?

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  24. Jea
    December 16, 2010 at 10:32 am

    Horrified

    and traumatized.

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  25. pavlovsdaughter
    December 16, 2010 at 10:34 am

    Why not just throw in another fifty and spring for the custom molded one with Arnold Schwarzenegger on the other end of it?

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

  26. hansendesigns
    December 16, 2010 at 10:37 am

    whoa the photoshopped-in photo of hands and stretched butthole is even more scary than the predator.

    if only i had taken buttplug creation in college i would be rich now..

    Thumb up Thumb down +25

  27. knittin-kitten
    December 16, 2010 at 10:38 am

    Patty-I think we can all be certain that’s one level of fandom none of ever want to meet.

    Anyone want to take bets on when buttplugs replace vaginas in popularity on Etsy?

    Thumb up Thumb down +36

  28. CowTownQueen
    December 16, 2010 at 10:49 am

    Notice the deadline for this “toy.” I wonder what kind of New Year’s Eve party he/she is going to?!

    Kissing as the ball drops seems so dated and passe compared to butt plugs and Predator movies.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  29. MAG
    December 16, 2010 at 10:58 am

    After seeing all these wierd Alchemy requests…I am never having sex again!

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  30. Knit_Wolf
    December 16, 2010 at 11:05 am

    well that would certainly make one want to GET TO DA CHOPPA!

    Thumb up Thumb down +22

  31. unseeliepixie
    December 16, 2010 at 11:15 am

    Why is it that there are never any requests for great literary figures butt plugs? They’re always some sort of cartoon character or sci fi reference. Where are the Shakespeare and James Joyce butt plugs? C’mon people, crack open a book!

    Thumb up Thumb down +101

  32. BillsBayou
    December 16, 2010 at 11:21 am

    When is someone going to request a butt-plug that looks like a turd?

    Thumb up Thumb down +67

  33. Buzzkill Crying Glitter Eagle
    December 16, 2010 at 11:33 am

    #29 unseeliepixie, maybe because the literati don’t need a butt plug that commemorates or looks like someone else – just a plain one does the trick for them.

    I find all these requests for themed butt plugs to be rather disturbing, actually.

    But not as disturbing as the cover of the “Microsoft Ezpression Blend Bible” sitting on my desk at the moment: the cover has a bouquet of mixer beaters on it, and in the context of butt plugs, all I can say is OW.

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  34. Wednesday
    December 16, 2010 at 11:38 am

    Is there some nascent Museum of Buttplugs out there, and they’re a little short on exhibits for the grand opening, or what?

    I refuse to believe the market for custom buttplugs is that untapped.

    Thumb up Thumb down +22

  35. clitty’s got claws
    December 16, 2010 at 11:39 am

    If someone ends up making this, it’ll be even more epic that the Baby Jesus butt plug that Divine Interventions makes! (Warning: link…and the whole website, is definitely NSFW!) http://www.divine-interventions.com/baby.php

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

  36. jlafunk
    December 16, 2010 at 11:49 am

    I’m going to go throw-up now.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  37. Alizoo
    December 16, 2010 at 11:54 am

    What a wonderful link from clitty’s got claws! Makes me happy such things exist.

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  38. elvisaintdead
    December 16, 2010 at 12:18 pm

    m-o-o-n, that spells predator buttplug.
    laws, yes!

    Thumb up Thumb down +24

  39. kittykatt
    December 16, 2010 at 12:27 pm

    Couldn’t find a whole museum, but I found a buttplug AT a museum…http://www.buzzfeed.com/lindseyweber/santa-with-butt-plug-ru

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  40. HelenaHandbasket
    December 16, 2010 at 12:41 pm

    Aw, honey, why mess with what the good baby jebus gave you when you’re so darned close already?

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  41. angel drawers
    December 16, 2010 at 12:44 pm

    @kittykatt:

    1. Why did I follow that link in the first place?
    2. How long did it take you to realize the artist is Paul McCarthy, not McCartney? Because it took me a while.
    3. WHY WOULD SOMEONE WANT TO BUY A CHOCOLATE VERSION OF THAT STATUE??

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  42. purple_peacock
    December 16, 2010 at 1:02 pm

    Where the holy heck is Moon Township? For a second I thought it was the person’s name…

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  43. SheSaidPop
    December 16, 2010 at 1:19 pm

    Mangina dentata! Freud would have a field day…

    Thumb up Thumb down +32

  44. ajhphoto87
    December 16, 2010 at 3:28 pm

    haha i actually live in MARS pa, and moon twp is about 15-20 minutes down the road. it’s just north of pittsburgh.

    but this is hilarious!

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  45. Spastastic
    December 16, 2010 at 3:32 pm

    I had managed to live my internet life thus far without ever seeing goatse. The age of innocence is now over.

    Thumb up Thumb down +27

  46. Nico
    December 16, 2010 at 3:47 pm

    Guess somebody’s had one-too-many episodes of surprise butt sex.

    Thumb up Thumb down +22

  47. humalong
    December 16, 2010 at 4:51 pm

    Couldn’t the Heath Ledger sculpture be upcycled for this purpose?

    Thumb up Thumb down +15

  48. Holden Back
    December 16, 2010 at 5:31 pm

    So I presume there will be moving parts. Sounds dangerous.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  49. Badger
    December 16, 2010 at 6:19 pm

    I keep looking at the picture of the alien, and all I can think is that this is all going to end in tears. And a trip to the ER.

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  50. urbangriever
    December 16, 2010 at 6:23 pm

    @ #42 purple_peacock

    Moon Township is about 20-30 minutes outside of Pittsburgh. And this is about the kind of thing you’d expect people from Moon to want if you lived in the burgh area.

    Every time I go there, I get depressed because it’s a depressing place. I don’t know how people live there without some kind of medication.

    …. which is probably why the need entertaining butt plugs ….

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  51. passiveoffensive
    December 16, 2010 at 10:13 pm

    Boy am I sorry I don’t have access to my college glassblowing studio now…

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  52. laughinglurker
    December 17, 2010 at 4:47 am

    Thanks #20bills bayou. Luckily I did NOT watch the video of the Butt Out in action. That’s one set of screaming horrors avoided

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  53. sibylla
    December 17, 2010 at 3:32 pm

    Spastastic – I’m in the same boat. ):

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  54. sibylla
    December 17, 2010 at 3:33 pm

    But, you know what the worst part is? The Internet has so corrupted me that I’m not even shocked.

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  55. catherder
    December 17, 2010 at 4:19 pm

    I’d managed to avoid the actual Goatse photo until now. And yet, I’ve apparently become so jaded that all I thought was “it looks inflamed in there.”

    As for the Butt Out, you learn something every day on the Internet. Now we all know a little something about cleaning a deer.

    Imagine the cocktail/dinner parties you could ruin by tossing that bit of info out at the right moment…

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  56. aroseisarose
    December 19, 2010 at 3:25 pm

    …Is this my ex? I always KNEW something wasn’t quite right…

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  57. mrwhyte
    January 30, 2011 at 7:19 pm

    Ahh Goatse.. I remember me and an old friend of mine spamming pokemon and other silly chat sites with it when you could upload images in chat with no one able to stop you.. Those were the days..

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  58. sugacan
    June 8, 2011 at 11:40 pm

    How did I miss this one? Maybe this guy is in prison..?

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

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