Okay, not gonna lie, the mental image had me laughing for quite some time.
But how do you give this as a gift to someone else? I just can’t imagine saying “Oh yeah – I got it from an Etsy seller who was too cheap to buy their own sponges! Here, enjoy some rando’s pubic lice!”
Ok, *IF* I didn’t know that these were pube paintings, they’re right up the alley of “Grandma would think this card is really pretty.” As in, that’s what I actually thought before I did a mental double take and remembered that someone decided that taking some Dutch Boy paint to their vagina was a GREAT craft idea. Oh, Regretsy, what would I do with out you?
well color me a christmas prude, but i just don’t get the process of how this goes from a drunken game of truth-or-dare to actual creation to the public marketplace complete w/explanation…
keep your snatch art, honey. i’m doin’ ok w/out it.
I found it rather pleasing, aesethetically speaking. Sigh. Its never, ever occured to me to paint with my body hair though, and I just have wonder what would give someone such an idea.
Actually I think it’s totally the best passive-aggressive “fuck you” gift ever. Anyone remember the Upright Citizens Brigade? It reminds me of the “ass pennies” sketch they did. I’m totally getting this for my skank-ass coworker, and telling her it’s “folk art” instead of “snatch art.”
I read the description and had a total flashback to my early Navy days. I worked in a dental lab. One night on duty, my room mate used dental alginate to make an impression of ‘herself’ and poured it up in plaster. She sent it to her boyfriend out to sea. I see this crap now and I think, “Oh, Lori, you were so ahead of your time. You could have painted it and listed it on Etsy as a paperweight…”
Comments that come to mind..
1. Deck the Balls?
2. Hey, Jingle This!
3. Chet’s nuts roasting on an open fire.
4. Move the Mistletoe.
5. Nice? I think not.
6. Oh look, he decorated it nice for the holidays!
7. He painted a tree with bushy growth?
8. I hate to see the card for Valentine’s Day.
9. Latex gloves not included.
10. So, the paint that’s left…I have to rub it off?
I just don’t understand some people. She goes to all this effort to make a lovely public Christmas tree print and then she draws the ornaments on? What, she doesn’t have nipples?
On the wall, does it say “Death to Pigs,” or am I just imagining things? When did it become the super cool hipster trend to reference savage killers in your ads for teddy bears that can be fucked? How is that relevant to your product at all?
Oh wait, I get it. You’re trying to EDG-AY! S=Way to fail you stupid fucking hipster.
I have to give her this: it does look like a nicely done and she does look like she was having fun making them…. now if she could just limit herself to giving it to her boyfriend or whoever looks at her pubic hair on a regular basis I’d be fine with it.
She totally is either a Fuzzy or a Merkin-wearer!!! LOL! That profile pic is WAY “bigger” than I would expect natural pubes to be…..then again, I can only go by the very few I’ve seen in person….
Y’know, I’ve seen such unbelievable fuckery this site that the only impact this had on me was when I clicked on the cookies and said, “Well that’s just unsanitary.”
i wonder if she squatted over the cards, or just grabbed one and rubbed it like she was wiping with toilet paper.
it is very important to know the artistic process, people…
#7 Buzzkill Crying Glitter Eagle, I so agree. I thought the card wasn’t that bad, but then I read the description, and stupid as I am, went to see the “how to” pictures. Now I just want to puke.
Is this the same gal who sells gilded stains as art?
December 16, 2010 at 1:33 pm
WHY? WHY tell me how you made this hideous thing and them show it next to a plate of COOKIES. WON’T ANYONE THINK OF THE CHILDREN!?
December 16, 2010 at 1:34 pm
Is he a unicorn? Did he drizzle the garland, too?
December 16, 2010 at 1:36 pm
i don’t know if it’s going to be “joy” that’s spread this christmas with these cards.
December 16, 2010 at 1:37 pm
Okay, not gonna lie, the mental image had me laughing for quite some time.
But how do you give this as a gift to someone else? I just can’t imagine saying “Oh yeah – I got it from an Etsy seller who was too cheap to buy their own sponges! Here, enjoy some rando’s pubic lice!”
December 16, 2010 at 1:37 pm
The third picture makes me forgive this atrocity. It just makes me laugh, even though it’s just oh so wrong.
December 16, 2010 at 1:37 pm
“Totally Effed Up”. Indeed.
December 16, 2010 at 1:39 pm
OK… I saw the card, and thought “Oh, that’s not terrible… kinda looks nice” and then I read the caption. And the description.
*headdesk*
December 16, 2010 at 1:40 pm
“I hope to spread joy this holiday season…”
AND HERPES!
December 16, 2010 at 1:40 pm
There aren’t enough minutes left in my life to make up for all of the time stolen from me by the items in this year’s advent calendar.
The only thing I can think of as a bonus to this is at last she didn’t flock her pubic hair and trim it like a tree.
December 16, 2010 at 1:42 pm
Ok, *IF* I didn’t know that these were pube paintings, they’re right up the alley of “Grandma would think this card is really pretty.” As in, that’s what I actually thought before I did a mental double take and remembered that someone decided that taking some Dutch Boy paint to their vagina was a GREAT craft idea. Oh, Regretsy, what would I do with out you?
December 16, 2010 at 1:43 pm
I get the feeling that she probably rubs her vagina on everything she sells…
December 16, 2010 at 1:44 pm
Snatch these up before they’re gone…
December 16, 2010 at 1:44 pm
well color me a christmas prude, but i just don’t get the process of how this goes from a drunken game of truth-or-dare to actual creation to the public marketplace complete w/explanation…
keep your snatch art, honey. i’m doin’ ok w/out it.
December 16, 2010 at 1:47 pm
I found it rather pleasing, aesethetically speaking. Sigh. Its never, ever occured to me to paint with my body hair though, and I just have wonder what would give someone such an idea.
December 16, 2010 at 1:49 pm
I don’t want to know how that star is painted…
December 16, 2010 at 1:49 pm
I’m going to go to my bikini waxer and request “The Christmas Tree” to save money on cards next year.
December 16, 2010 at 1:51 pm
Deck the halls with boughs of pubies, fa la la… la… la…? Oh, dear God.
December 16, 2010 at 1:51 pm
Some people just have too much time on their hands. Really.
December 16, 2010 at 1:51 pm
Green pubes and sparkley jizz?
You’re a mean one, Mr Grinch…
December 16, 2010 at 1:56 pm
Actually I think it’s totally the best passive-aggressive “fuck you” gift ever. Anyone remember the Upright Citizens Brigade? It reminds me of the “ass pennies” sketch they did. I’m totally getting this for my skank-ass coworker, and telling her it’s “folk art” instead of “snatch art.”
December 16, 2010 at 1:57 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
December 16, 2010 at 2:03 pm
The rest of her store is quite, err, eclectic. Poor teddy! Never had a chance…
http://www.etsy.com/listing/64217447/beary-unusual-repurposed-teddy-bear
December 16, 2010 at 2:04 pm
Does she make pocket cards that people can stick dollar bills in?
December 16, 2010 at 2:04 pm
We wish you a merkin Christmas…
December 16, 2010 at 2:06 pm
Also – Congrats to the artist for turning a bush into a tree!
December 16, 2010 at 2:11 pm
Gah, I’m going to sound like my mother here….but I really hoped she washed her pubes first.
December 16, 2010 at 2:12 pm
Is anyone else speculating about what’s in those cookies?
December 16, 2010 at 2:22 pm
This card isn’t complete without some presents painted with feces under the tree.
December 16, 2010 at 2:35 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
December 16, 2010 at 2:38 pm
Looks like (s)he caught a case of sexually transmitted mange-r…
December 16, 2010 at 2:47 pm
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December 16, 2010 at 2:47 pm
I read the description and had a total flashback to my early Navy days. I worked in a dental lab. One night on duty, my room mate used dental alginate to make an impression of ‘herself’ and poured it up in plaster. She sent it to her boyfriend out to sea. I see this crap now and I think, “Oh, Lori, you were so ahead of your time. You could have painted it and listed it on Etsy as a paperweight…”
*sigh*
December 16, 2010 at 2:48 pm
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December 16, 2010 at 2:49 pm
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December 16, 2010 at 2:51 pm
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December 16, 2010 at 2:57 pm
#26 : Hey! Some of us Europeans have standards!
The seller is in fact from New Orleans…so I guess that makes sense…
December 16, 2010 at 3:05 pm
FLEECE NAVIDAD!!!
December 16, 2010 at 3:18 pm
She hopes her cards spread joy. If you replace the word “joy” with “crabs”, I think it would be more accurate.
Or maybe “joy” is her nickname for her legs?
December 16, 2010 at 3:37 pm
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December 16, 2010 at 3:51 pm
Can I pay extra to NOT see a photo of the process please?
Also: acrylic paints with hair? Hope she washed quickly or else she’ll have a lot of explaining to do at her next physical…
December 16, 2010 at 4:08 pm
Have a very hairy Christmas.
No. Just no.
December 16, 2010 at 4:11 pm
I just don’t understand some people. She goes to all this effort to make a lovely public Christmas tree print and then she draws the ornaments on? What, she doesn’t have nipples?
December 16, 2010 at 4:12 pm
Also, I thought the first amendment prohibited the display of public Christmas trees.
December 16, 2010 at 4:18 pm
http://www.etsy.com/listing/64217447/beary-unusual-repurposed-teddy-bear
On the wall, does it say “Death to Pigs,” or am I just imagining things? When did it become the super cool hipster trend to reference savage killers in your ads for teddy bears that can be fucked? How is that relevant to your product at all?
Oh wait, I get it. You’re trying to EDG-AY! S=Way to fail you stupid fucking hipster.
December 16, 2010 at 4:41 pm
Warning **Foul Language to Follow**
Oh Cuntmas Tree
Oh Cuntmas Tree
How pubiful and lovely.
December 16, 2010 at 4:43 pm
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December 16, 2010 at 4:44 pm
Doh! I was going for p u b i c both times. I guess my fingers won’t let me type the word without a great deal of effort.
December 16, 2010 at 4:53 pm
I have to give her this: it does look like a nicely done and she does look like she was having fun making them…. now if she could just limit herself to giving it to her boyfriend or whoever looks at her pubic hair on a regular basis I’d be fine with it.
December 16, 2010 at 5:40 pm
I’m calling this as BS, short of finding an adhesion. The woman obviously has so much fake fur -why would she paint her pubes green?
December 16, 2010 at 6:33 pm
#44-It definetely says ‘Death to Pigs.’ Which is an inappropriate sentiment unless she’s hoping to have a Hawaiian luau for Christmas.
December 16, 2010 at 6:34 pm
She totally is either a Fuzzy or a Merkin-wearer!!! LOL! That profile pic is WAY “bigger” than I would expect natural pubes to be…..then again, I can only go by the very few I’ve seen in person….
December 16, 2010 at 7:14 pm
This is the first time a Christmas card has made me gag.
December 16, 2010 at 7:35 pm
Y’know, I’ve seen such unbelievable fuckery this site that the only impact this had on me was when I clicked on the cookies and said, “Well that’s just unsanitary.”
December 16, 2010 at 8:41 pm
i wonder if she squatted over the cards, or just grabbed one and rubbed it like she was wiping with toilet paper.
it is very important to know the artistic process, people…
December 16, 2010 at 9:31 pm
#27: Ha! Speculate! Was that intentional, because it was great!
The artist should donate some of those teddy bears to charity- Toys for Twats…
December 16, 2010 at 9:36 pm
“Hi Grandma, here’s your Christmas card”…
*awkward silence follows
December 16, 2010 at 10:22 pm
“Bang-a-Bear Workshop”?!?!
(i just threw up in my mouth a little bit)
December 17, 2010 at 4:36 am
I’m gonna make Valentines cards from my pit hair.
December 17, 2010 at 7:21 am
Look at all the negative message ratings! I guess it should come as no surprise that on a vagina-based craft, 1 in 8 comments are in the hole.
December 17, 2010 at 7:34 am
Reguardless of what the picture is, I have to point out that the image itself is horribly over exposed, and a poor use of on camera flash.
They need to spend less time spreading their junk on paper and more time learning how to shoot the peice itself correctly.
December 17, 2010 at 8:07 am
*hangs head in shame for New Orleans*
December 17, 2010 at 2:48 pm
Death to Pigs? I thought it said Death to Pies! What a relief.
December 20, 2010 at 10:53 am
The poor, poor teddy bear: “Currently this bear is a virgin although I have enjoyed getting knuckle deep in it.”
December 23, 2010 at 6:14 am
#7 Buzzkill Crying Glitter Eagle, I so agree. I thought the card wasn’t that bad, but then I read the description, and stupid as I am, went to see the “how to” pictures. Now I just want to puke.
Is this the same gal who sells gilded stains as art?