@ knitwitknerd, well obviously what you need to bring is a cheese ball shaped like a vagina or a penis… or a penis entering a vagina… the combinations are mind boggling…
Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree,
Your Vulva so delight us!
Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree,
Your Vulva so delight us!
Your clitoris, so round and pink
Your labial lips so soft as mink!
Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree
Your vulva so delight uuuussss.
It’s like a hydra-vulva. Why so many on one ornament? The two glowing clitori (clitorati?) in the first picture make it look more like a reanimated head of a dinosaur mummy than the conjoined vulva of some Siamese twin pornstars.
The vulva ball sounds like a new holiday tradition. Instead of hide the pickle, see how long it takes your teenage son to get his weiner stuck in this.
Ah, this is the last ornament I need for my Star Trek’s Christmas Across the Universe collection, representing the planet Sculpy of the multi-vulva’d females.
@#21 Leeloo – someone already beat Hallmark to the pornatment line http://www.pornaments.com (warning, hilariously NSFW)
As to this chick, after seeing a dismembered head of a child with a cleft-palate, well, I’m just going to steer clear of her world. NOT someplace to be visiting. Eeep.
Buzzkill Crying Glitter Eagle
December 14, 2010 at 12:17 pm
There are a host of amazing new words from this comment thread that I must add to my vocabulary and attempt to use at the family holiday gathering:
Vulva ball
pornament
clitorati
Although I think that “clitorati” really refers to photographers of female genitalia, or people who sit around all day discussing clitori. (Clitorises have to be large tusk-bearing sea mammals with a large unfortunate slit along their bellies)
My first thoughts when I saw the object in question was “Georgia O’Keefe would be spinning in her grave” or “If Georgia O’Keefe was a potter instead of a painter”
If I need vaginas on my tree, I’ll just hang a bunch of orchids.
Hmm perhaps you’re right, a penis ball might not be appropriate.
Well shit If she wants us to celebrate a the virgin birth then when is she gonna put a baby head coming out of every one of those vulvas?
Well, this is one way to keep your in-laws from lingering at your house too long on Christmas eve. It actually could solve your in-law problems permanently – or create new ones, depending.
I find myself totally confused by the Etsy fascination with female anatomy. Yes, women have vayjays and uteri and boobs. They’ve had them for thousands of years. Anyone who hasn’t spent their life since birth sealed in a plastic bubble knows this. You have not just re-invented the goddamn wheel, so get off your high horse and do something useful with your life, please.
Eh. Kind of looks like when you cut extra pie crust off and roll it up in a ball. I’d have a hard time being offended by this just because I wouldn’t recognize what it was.
the scar ball scares me much more than the vagina one…
“You can customize if you wish- ball covered in scars? Two parallel scar lines? Pus?
You got it!”
hiddenhermitcrouchinggrouchy
December 14, 2010 at 8:18 pm
why do all these freeform clay jynies have so much superfluous labia? I’m startin’ to think if ya don’t have triple ply wings down there your all wrong…
if it’s Hand Made, does that mean the act of creating it was a Hand Job? And likely to be Hand Blown?
Again, this is missing the requisite yellow roses springing forth from the center for it to represent the miraculous vulva of Our Lady Of The Genital Ornament.
Jeebus! I thought the clits were eyes and the slits were nostrils!
Can I get mine customized with some money shot jizz????
Hang this on your tree and I guarantee your 11 year-old sons will remain celibate or turn gay.
Ok, so I did not read the title right away, just looked at what was presented to me by Regretsy. So I look at this thing and my first thought is “Ok, nice walnut” Then it was, “Why does a walnut have pink eyes?” Then I read the description and the light bulb goes off “Ohhh, it’s a few vaginas attached together and sporting horrendous clitoris’, O.K.”
I get that all these Etsy-ians are trying to take the shame out of vaginas. But…I think vaginas are awesome. The only shameful thing is the ugly art you’re making out of them. Newsflash: the human body is sexy AS A WHOLE. Making a globe out of vaginas is creepy just like a globe out of noses or eyeballs would be creepy.
Also, it’s clitorides, not clitori. (This is what four years of Latin is good for.)
Is it just me, or does this thing look vaguely like a sheep’s head, pink eyes and all? Then again, I’m a gay man so what do I know. Maybe vulva=creepy sheep’s head.
December 14, 2010 at 9:32 am
Try explaining that ornament to Grandma.
December 14, 2010 at 9:34 am
Don’t I feel silly only bringing a cheese ball to the last holiday party, now.
December 14, 2010 at 9:37 am
@ knitwitknerd, well obviously what you need to bring is a cheese ball shaped like a vagina or a penis… or a penis entering a vagina… the combinations are mind boggling…
my head actually hurts now
December 14, 2010 at 9:37 am
Is the paint safe for licking?
December 14, 2010 at 9:40 am
Can I get it in non-edible gingerbread to match the gingerbread man penis?
December 14, 2010 at 9:41 am
Who knew vaginas were the true meaning of Christmas?
December 14, 2010 at 9:51 am
OMG! The walnut headed alien has returned, and wearing poorly-applied foundation.
December 14, 2010 at 9:51 am
To me it looks like an evil frog. THAT scares me more than hanging a vagina ball from my tree.
December 14, 2010 at 9:58 am
If you spin this really fast will it flap it’s wings and fly?
December 14, 2010 at 10:04 am
The horror, the horror.
December 14, 2010 at 10:05 am
“Wanted to share my creations with like minded souls.”
…so…people who can’t get their minds off of vaginas as appropriate for a holiday tree?
I’d like to see that support group.
December 14, 2010 at 10:06 am
Thank the lord I can select my own ribbon color! Because that’s my real concern when shopping for vulva ornaments.
December 14, 2010 at 10:07 am
Needs matching penis ornament!
That way when your kids ask about it you can give them “The Talk” complete with impossibly creepy demonstrations!
December 14, 2010 at 10:09 am
Explains why my strange uncle was standing REALLY REALLY close to the Christmas tree!
December 14, 2010 at 10:12 am
Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree,
Your Vulva so delight us!
Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree,
Your Vulva so delight us!
Your clitoris, so round and pink
Your labial lips so soft as mink!
Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree
Your vulva so delight uuuussss.
December 14, 2010 at 10:13 am
If you’re going to create a genital tree ball ornament, shouldn’t it be a testicle ?
December 14, 2010 at 10:15 am
Oh idk…I can’t see has how a matching penis ornament would be appropriate. Christmas is about a virgin birth, after all…;-)
December 14, 2010 at 10:15 am
That is the LEAST creepy thing in her entire shop, though….I don’t get the heads….
And my mind is going down the wrong path toward fake trees needing scent, and this being a pomander…..oy….
December 14, 2010 at 10:16 am
After the HitlerBelle painting, this is kinda nice.
December 14, 2010 at 10:22 am
It’s like a hydra-vulva. Why so many on one ornament? The two glowing clitori (clitorati?) in the first picture make it look more like a reanimated head of a dinosaur mummy than the conjoined vulva of some Siamese twin pornstars.
December 14, 2010 at 10:22 am
Someday we’re all going to look like prudes when Hallmark starts a holiday pornament line.
December 14, 2010 at 10:22 am
#18 angelbuttons77: I had the same thought… It’s rather sad when the vagina ball is the least creepy thing in the shop.
I’m not sure if it reflects poorly on me or her anatomical representation, I really had to stare at it to see the resemblance to any lady parts.
December 14, 2010 at 10:25 am
Finally! I now have something to match my vulva purse collection.
http://www.artgoddess.com/purses.htm
December 14, 2010 at 10:27 am
Since they are individually made I wonder if I took a picture of my own vulva if she could make an ornament in its image? Now that would awesome.
December 14, 2010 at 10:29 am
It’s like Audrey from Little Shop of Horrors and is saying FEED ME!.
Merkin sold separately
December 14, 2010 at 10:44 am
Apropos of nothing…
Do you ever get the feeling when someone told certain people that art was masturbatory, that it was mistaken for a suggestion?
I’m sorry i don’t know what brought that to mind.
I think I’ll go lie down and have a headache now
December 14, 2010 at 10:50 am
I dunno, I rather like the dolls.
But that ornament scares me.
December 14, 2010 at 10:50 am
@#10 Joseph Conrad would agree, I believe. This is definitely the heart of darkness.
December 14, 2010 at 10:53 am
The vulva ball sounds like a new holiday tradition. Instead of hide the pickle, see how long it takes your teenage son to get his weiner stuck in this.
December 14, 2010 at 10:57 am
I made the mistake of looking through her store. It looks like a lot of time and work goes into her creations, and they definitely look well-made.
Time and work, however, do not help my doll phobia. Not at all.
December 14, 2010 at 10:59 am
Ah, this is the last ornament I need for my Star Trek’s Christmas Across the Universe collection, representing the planet Sculpy of the multi-vulva’d females.
It was one of Kirk’s favorites.
December 14, 2010 at 11:00 am
@#21 Leeloo – someone already beat Hallmark to the pornatment line http://www.pornaments.com (warning, hilariously NSFW)
As to this chick, after seeing a dismembered head of a child with a cleft-palate, well, I’m just going to steer clear of her world. NOT someplace to be visiting. Eeep.
December 14, 2010 at 11:01 am
How many people can there be in this fucked-up world who actually *want* multiple vulvas on their Xmas tree??
…
Apparently, at least *this* one…
December 14, 2010 at 11:07 am
What, no glitter? This seller’s phoning it in.
December 14, 2010 at 11:09 am
Combine this with the last post and you get Vulvabell!
December 14, 2010 at 11:09 am
that is one fugly vajayjay
December 14, 2010 at 11:09 am
C’mon, it’s the 2010′s. Is this from the Vatican Christmas Collection? Where’s the aborted fetus?
December 14, 2010 at 11:24 am
Vulva ball… sounds like you should discuss that with your gynecologist.
Or an exorcist.
December 14, 2010 at 11:41 am
Vulva ball… it’s like a dance party on/for your lady parts!
Now if only that ornament had mirrors and laser lights and John Travolta lost 100lbs.
December 14, 2010 at 12:17 pm
There are a host of amazing new words from this comment thread that I must add to my vocabulary and attempt to use at the family holiday gathering:
Vulva ball
pornament
clitorati
Although I think that “clitorati” really refers to photographers of female genitalia, or people who sit around all day discussing clitori. (Clitorises have to be large tusk-bearing sea mammals with a large unfortunate slit along their bellies)
My first thoughts when I saw the object in question was “Georgia O’Keefe would be spinning in her grave” or “If Georgia O’Keefe was a potter instead of a painter”
If I need vaginas on my tree, I’ll just hang a bunch of orchids.
December 14, 2010 at 12:17 pm
Did the maker have to glaze it? It looks all shiny and oozey. Kinda like it has some sort of Christmas ball STD.
December 14, 2010 at 12:20 pm
When it first erupted on my screen, I thought it was a dead chipmunk head with all the hair boiled off.
Why did I have to read the description and spoil it…?
December 14, 2010 at 12:26 pm
Note to the seller regarding every photo in your shop:
“White Balance. Look it up.”
December 14, 2010 at 12:31 pm
Eww.
December 14, 2010 at 12:35 pm
I see the heads in her shop as a sad attempt to capitalize upon Edward Gorey and his Gashlycrumb Tinies. Gorey did it much better.
December 14, 2010 at 12:39 pm
I cannot believe it’s taken this long for me to find such a great nickname for the movers and shakers in the PTA. Clitorati it is.
December 14, 2010 at 12:59 pm
Is it just me, or are the clitorises (clitori?) in the wrong place? No wonder some guys can’t get it right.
December 14, 2010 at 1:04 pm
Flashback to a few days back… Playmate’s ornamate of the month
December 14, 2010 at 1:11 pm
the vulvaball is a bit….not good but the rest of their stuff is great. really well made and insane.
of course, the vulvaball could be made weirder if it were a life cast kind of thing “cast your own vulva into an ornament”
December 14, 2010 at 1:45 pm
Hmm perhaps you’re right, a penis ball might not be appropriate.
Well shit If she wants us to celebrate a the virgin birth then when is she gonna put a baby head coming out of every one of those vulvas?
December 14, 2010 at 2:09 pm
Ummmm… if my vulva looked like this, I would be more concerned about seeing a doctor, not trying to make a replica of it for an ornament.
December 14, 2010 at 2:09 pm
Wow! a two-vagina week! I’m really getting into the Regretsy Christmas spirit now!
December 14, 2010 at 2:30 pm
When I first read the description, I though it said “flowing” instead of “flowering”.
Yeah, sounds about right.
December 14, 2010 at 2:36 pm
Anyone else mildly creeped out by the fact that she’s holding it with her bare hands?
December 14, 2010 at 2:47 pm
Oh good! I was looking for gifts for my lesbian friends!
December 14, 2010 at 3:14 pm
This ornament makes me uncomfortable. And I want to touch it like nobody’s business. What’s wrong with me? *sobs*
December 14, 2010 at 3:19 pm
ok BUT only if the seller puts mistletoe above it…
December 14, 2010 at 3:20 pm
Well, this is one way to keep your in-laws from lingering at your house too long on Christmas eve. It actually could solve your in-law problems permanently – or create new ones, depending.
December 14, 2010 at 3:23 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
December 14, 2010 at 5:26 pm
I find myself totally confused by the Etsy fascination with female anatomy. Yes, women have vayjays and uteri and boobs. They’ve had them for thousands of years. Anyone who hasn’t spent their life since birth sealed in a plastic bubble knows this. You have not just re-invented the goddamn wheel, so get off your high horse and do something useful with your life, please.
December 14, 2010 at 5:46 pm
Eh. Kind of looks like when you cut extra pie crust off and roll it up in a ball. I’d have a hard time being offended by this just because I wouldn’t recognize what it was.
December 14, 2010 at 6:02 pm
wait, wait. i’ve seen this episode of Tyra.
December 14, 2010 at 6:12 pm
#6 “Who knew vaginas were the true meaning of Christmas?”
Well a birth canal isn’t a nostril, and the Bible doesn’t say anything about a C-section being done. There’s only one way for Jesus to go.
December 14, 2010 at 7:16 pm
the scar ball scares me much more than the vagina one…
“You can customize if you wish- ball covered in scars? Two parallel scar lines? Pus?
You got it!”
December 14, 2010 at 8:18 pm
why do all these freeform clay jynies have so much superfluous labia? I’m startin’ to think if ya don’t have triple ply wings down there your all wrong…
December 14, 2010 at 8:25 pm
The glaze makes them look all drippy! Christmas is arousing, I guess?
December 14, 2010 at 8:32 pm
Looks more like flowing than flowering! Not sure if that’s implying ‘hot lovin’ or ‘consider seeking medical attention’.
December 14, 2010 at 11:14 pm
Is it bad that I think it’s almost pretty? I think I’m still suffering post Stillbirth of Jesus shock.
December 15, 2010 at 12:20 am
if it’s Hand Made, does that mean the act of creating it was a Hand Job? And likely to be Hand Blown?
Again, this is missing the requisite yellow roses springing forth from the center for it to represent the miraculous vulva of Our Lady Of The Genital Ornament.
December 15, 2010 at 12:41 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
December 15, 2010 at 6:59 am
Ok, so I did not read the title right away, just looked at what was presented to me by Regretsy. So I look at this thing and my first thought is “Ok, nice walnut” Then it was, “Why does a walnut have pink eyes?” Then I read the description and the light bulb goes off “Ohhh, it’s a few vaginas attached together and sporting horrendous clitoris’, O.K.”
December 15, 2010 at 9:49 am
I checked out the rest of the shop items, I just threw up a little grilled cheese, TYVM.
I’m torn -pardon the pun- between awe and nausea. This person has talent. Sick, “WTF were you thinking” talent.
December 15, 2010 at 1:46 pm
I get that all these Etsy-ians are trying to take the shame out of vaginas. But…I think vaginas are awesome. The only shameful thing is the ugly art you’re making out of them. Newsflash: the human body is sexy AS A WHOLE. Making a globe out of vaginas is creepy just like a globe out of noses or eyeballs would be creepy.
Also, it’s clitorides, not clitori. (This is what four years of Latin is good for.)
December 15, 2010 at 3:15 pm
Is it just me, or does this thing look vaguely like a sheep’s head, pink eyes and all? Then again, I’m a gay man so what do I know. Maybe vulva=creepy sheep’s head.