Also – seeing as how this would have been the ULTIMATE in Xmas eve items, I’m wondering what manner of twisted, nasty, evil things Helen and Bronc have in store for us. Because, really, how do you top this for a holiday about the birth of a baby?
I had to walk away and solve a minor plumbing crisis, (“Mommy said do not flush the elf on the shelf down the toilet again!”)all the while thinking about this collection of ornaments of abortions (is that the translation of abornaments?).
Do you string them on a tree as a collection, with wire hanger garland? Is the donation statement at the end supposed to make me feel good about these?
Buzzkill Crying Glitter Eagle
December 13, 2010 at 10:46 am
I am concerned about the “mystery fluid” encapsulated inside the ornaments, however.
We have a very active adolescent kitten. It’s her first Xmas, and I don’t know what that “mystery fluid” will do to her or the floor after she knocks them off the tree and the break open.
Wow … this is the Regretsy C’mas trifecta;
- tacky-ass Christmas ornament made of tacky-ass materials
- highly irreverent usage of “dear lord baby Jesus”
- and … VAGINA!
Fabulous.
I’m way too amused to be offended at this point.
Um… wow. Trying not to be afflicted by cryabeetus here. I usually have a pretty good sense of humour about this kind of thing, but, holy shit. Oh wait. One of the tags is “athiest” so what would you call it? Plain ol’ shit I guess. What kind of horror show is in store for the next 10 days…
Holy Freaking Hell! What is wrong with person? Is this some anti-choice bullshittery along the lines of the ‘vote to decide if we abort our fetus’ website? This is just what Randall Terry needs to illustrate what monsters pro-choice people are.
#24 – she “says” she’s supporting Planned Parenthood with a portion of the proceeds – that doesn’t mean a damn thing. I’m a pro-choice atheist and I call shenanigans.
Look, I donated to Planned Parenthood in Sarah Palin’s name right along with everybody else, but at some point, you just have to stop foisting still-born crown-of-thorns Jesus on unsuspecting non-believers so that we celebrate what Christmas is really about: greed, depressingly unfulfilled expectations, and pretending that grandma hasn’t been drunk since 11 a.m.
I know I can laugh and snark at a lot of things (what would I be doing on the internet, otherwise?) but this is just the epitome of bad taste.
The glitter makes a nice touch though…
#32 — Also pro-choice here…and yeah, I think you put your finger on it. I’m not prone to conspiracy theories, but she strikes me as a pro-lifer trying to pass herself off as pro-choice so she can piss off as many people as possible who hold the same *actual* views she does, and get them to be greater activists. I can’t picture even the ANGRIEST of pro-choice atheists stooping to this. It’s just too “tone deaf,” if you know what I mean.
When you’re decorating the tree with abornaments and glass balls, it’s difficult to decide on the topper. Sure you could use the star made out of glittery coathangers again, but your guests will need something new to talk about.
How about jolly old Saint Nick kicking Mary off the tree when she’s in her third trimester.
I really bet Planned Parenthood wishes people would check with its PR department before crapping aborted Jesus ornaments all over the Internet. Whatever happened to the politically correct pre-natal vitamin and pap-smear felted fur-bearing vagina ornaments?
As one of the crafters involved with the abornaments, I have the following responses for Regretsy commenters:
a) A portion of the proceeds are definitely being donated to Planned Parenthood, whose PR department has nothing to do with whether folks decide to donate them. But, that said, it is a good point — we don’t want bad press for the organization so perhaps I will change the donation wording to something not directly referencing them.
b) The “mystery fluid” is actually hand soap and food dye. While probably relatively safe, I would be wary of leaving one unattended around a kitten.
c) You do know that they are not, in fact, real babies… right?
@abornaments: Well, fair play to you for actually posting here in a rational tone, rather than either hiding or whining about how we just don’t get yooouuu.
Oh . . . oh, god . . . I have no words. I would say that I would never have sex, ever, after seeing that, just to make sure it never happened, but if that’s jesus, then . . . oh god. Nobody is safe.
I think this person has managed to create something that could quite possibly be taken as offensive by anyone–pro-life, pro-choice, Christian, non-Christian, atheist, person with taste, person with no taste. I have considered myself to be each of those at one time in my life, and I think all of me finds that just awful in every way. (Okay, maybe the blind wouldn’t find it to be too dreadful, save that look on their faces once they have brailled their way into identifying it.)
Someone should let Planned Parenthood know what their name is being affiliated with. They might make more cash off of this person through a defamation lawsuit.
#47, kudos to you for coming on and commenting! And kudos also for donating to a cause near and dear to my heart. That said…yes, I understand that these aren’t real babies, and believe it or not I think I can imagine the frustration with the “pro-life” people that I’m guessing led to the creation of these abornaments. That said, while I totally respect your right to free speech, and will defend it to the death, I’m not sure this is, um, the best way to further the cause and/or get the message out. IMHO, of course.
@abornaments, I also would like to commend you on a rational and well thought out response. I know you mean it all in good humor, but I think what we are all trying to say is that we don’t get your sense of humor. Plus, well, ewwwwww.
Buzzkill Crying Glitter Eagle
December 13, 2010 at 2:22 pm
@abornaments, props for commenting, and thanks for letting me know what the “mystery fluid” is and that it’s probably not “kitten safe”.
And also big props for donating to PP. You should have some contraceptive ornaments available, too, as that’s also in keeping with the whole PP outlook on things – prevent the pregnancy in the first place so abortions aren’t necessary.
sidebar: I sat with an officer of the NY PP and her father on the train down to the Rally for Sanity in October, and was regaled of stories of distributing hundreds of thousands of condoms during Carnivale in Brazil.
Now I FINALLY understand why “pro-choice” is so often confused with “psychotic evil killer of babies who worships satan and drinks blood for breakfast” because I’m pretty sure this seller fits both bills.
Wording changed on the listings to avoid any negative press for PP, with whom we are NOT affiliated. Thanks for the advice, guys.
A few words for folks who don’t “get” these:
For those who are unfamiliar, these little rubber babies (which are extremely creepy all on their own) are typically forced upon girls outside of family planning clinics (I got my first, along with threats, while going to a Planned Parenthood office for a pap smear several years ago), or used to bully young pregnant women into opting out of abortion regardless of the effect it has on their (or the future child’s) life.
Each one comes with a little business card that details development stages in utero — only it’s grossly inaccurate. For instance, the card insists that this model fetus mirrors the actual fetus two weeks after conception, in both size and development.
That said, these are not a social or political statement. While it’s obviously not a challenge to figure out where we stand on the issue of abortion, these are not intended to change anyone’s minds, nor were they created to offend anyone in particular, on either side of the argument (though we knew that was inevitable going in). They are simply part of a silly and tasteless art series.
We don’t expect everyone to like them, but keep in mind: no ACTUAL babies were harmed in the creation of these ornaments, and no one is going to run out and get 1,000 abortions simply because they saw a fake fetus hanging out of a glittery felt vagina.
My first thought at the “donation” line was that someone got knocked up, and thought the best way to fund “taking care of it” was to sell dead fetus ornaments.
Coat hanger abortions s are so 1950′s. They should be chopped up and sealed in liquid-filled tubes. You could swirl some red food coloring into the glue or resin for a super realistic look! Another great idea? Cut up pieces of this pro-choice comic book and paste to flat or round ornaments: http://www.ep.tc/eve/ Or perhaps glue a baby to a piece of paper with the caption, “Not this year!” Or, “Pro-Choice 2010″ or “Another great baby free year!” “No babies under the tree for me!”
I blame the economy for the free time I just had to think up all of those ideas.
Yeah, I’ve seen that their posters definitely don’t get the in utero stages correct though. Abortions or no, reproductive clinics like that do so many great things for women – if it wasn’t for them and their sliding-scale fee, I never could have afforded my in-utero crown of thorns.
Cant decide what offends me more, the fact she made it or the fact it sold. I love that she puts in the blurb that its a ‘wonderfully tasteless piece’. Made my day.
The cards actually claim it’s a fetus at 12 weeks’ development, not 2. I have no idea how close that is to being accurate, but it’s more accurate than 2 is.
(I totally agree that the cards and such are used as scare tactics of misinformation. I’m just correcting mi-misinformation, as it were.)
“no ACTUAL babies were harmed in the creation of these ornaments, and no one is going to run out and get 1,000 abortions simply because they saw a fake fetus hanging out of a glittery felt vagina.”
You know that’s not the point, right? The point is that it’s gross and tasteless and juvenile. I’m a pro-choice atheist, but I’m irked by these in the same way that, as a vegetarian, I’m irked by tasteless PETA ads.
#65 Really? Oops, my mistake. I’ll double check when I’m near them again to make sure I’m reciting the correct quotes. Sorry about that.
#66 Noted, will consider it.
#67 The point is that these are a joke. I fail to see how they’re gross, being that there’s nothing even *vaguely* realistic about them, but I will concede that they are indeed tasteless and juvenile.
I am leaving internet-land for the day, so I’ll have to respond to any further praise and/or disgust tomorrow.
I think I’m in the minority here, but I like them. I wouldn’t hang one on my tree, but I really really wish that I knew someone who would appreciate it. It’s so fucked up, it’s funny.
The thing that worries me the most is that my vagina looks nothing like the ones on Etsy. I’m embarrassed to go to the doctor, but I feel like I might not be normal, you know, *down there*.
1. Horrified.
2. Pro-life, and snickering.
3. Okay, not snickering.
4. Okay, snickering.
5. Thinking of forwarding it to my friend who works for Planned Parenthood.
6. Thinking that the last thing my friend’s bedroom wall needs is a another picture of a vagina taped to it.
7. Thinking my friend’s wall needs another picture of a vagina taped to it.
8. Looking at the picture again and feeling slightly sick.
9. Getting bored, moving on and finding myself outraged that some twee fake-wholesome mom is trying to sell Oriental Trading Co. rainy-day crafts on Etsy at a 1325% markup.
10. Wondering where my priorities are.
11. Deciding that it doesn’t matter, since it’s only the Internet again. Going home to see if the cat has crapped out that LED Christmas light yet.
This ornament reminds me of the following verse from the Super Furry Animals song “Zoom”.
Saw the Virgin Mary,
She was crying blood,
Tears congregate
Into a mighty flood,
Gave her some directions to a specialist,
An eye doctor to help her cyst,
She took the wrong turn
to the family planning.
I’m holding out for a Virgin Mary in childbirth statue with yellow roses sprouting out of her cooch. Because the Virgin Mary’s vagina is totally sacred.
Actually, I consider this image of her cooch without the bouquet of yellow roses sprouting out or glowing aura encircling to be exceptionally blasphemous. Show some respect people!
I gotta give a +100 to the lovely people who made these…
I may be a part of the minority, but I like ‘em. They’re controversial, get people talking, and are definitely, in one way or another, eye catching.
I am a proud pro-choice Atheist and I honestly don’t see them as “gross”, however immature. Sometimes life just needs to be a little less serious. Not like I’m gonna go skewer some baby-kabobs just because I saw it on the internet.
@SlySevSteph – did you even READ that comic book?? To me it looks like a pro-life mock up, as the way the people are acting they’re making it look evil to have an abortion. The one woman is getting one so she can keep her Mercedes….wtf??
I am in fact the other member of the Abornaments team. Thank you for all the positive comments and for the negative ones too. The positive ones remind me why we did this in the first place and the negative ones bring joy to my heart and laughter to my mouth. I appreciate you!
I also wanted to clear something else up. Several people have said we are certainly going to hell. Well my friends that is only a half truth. I will certainly be going to the engulfing flames of hell since I am a baptized catholic but my lovely counterpart will not be. Fortunately she is a Jew and there is no hell for those people. So ha ha I say! Jokes on you all… Wait a minute… I guess the jokes on me! I’m ok with that though. It’s worth it . You have to do what you enjoy and live life to the fullest and laugh. I am doing all of the above.
@Abornaments, thanks for the explanation. I had an abortion *before* that kind of madness became widespread; I didn’t know that these were made from those models. I understand they’re not a social or political comment, and just part of an art series, but you know what? The little buggers are starting to grow on me — no pun or anything like that intended. Thanks again for engaging with us!
Re: going to hell – wtf, come with me – I’ve got the VIP suite booked….oh wait, I don’t believe in hell…..damn, some of the best people I know are headed there – it would be a rockin’ place!
All of you commenters who said something to the effect of “I might be in the minority, but I like them”–go look in that shop now! They’re all but sold out! Regretsy marketing triumphs again!
P.S.: I am also appreciative to @adornaments for the further explanation about the little fetuses being handed out at PP, and you should definitely put that in the description as it makes your point much clearer.
(I still don’t want one, so don’t any of you get any ideas)
As a person who is pro-choice, but who still is not thrilled by realities of abortion (I’m fairly certain I’m not the only one), I think the problem with this is that it gleefully celebrates abortion as a response to pro-life protests. It’s basically responding to offensive demagoguery with what will cause quite possibly the greatest offense in return: the celebration of an abortion or stillbirth of Jesus.
As for it not being a social or political statement… I suspect you’re not being fully truthful. But even if you are, you don’t get the last word on that. Intent is meaningless in the face of actual effect. Some of those pro-life protesters don’t intend to control women through lack of choice, they intend to save itty wittle babies. But their intent is certainly not the end of it.
Once again… I’m the one of the Abornament makers. To #86- read #87. We don’t really have an agenda or a point we are trying to get across. It started off as a thought, that turned into a joke, that turned into a shopping spree, that turned into these ornaments, that turned into more of a success then we had thought. It’s pretty sweet! We thought we’d offend a lot more people then we did, not that that was our intention. It actually turns out quite a lot of people really enjoy them. It’s ok to feel negatively about them but please don’t take it to heart. We are going to continue to make them and blossom our ideas. Look for fresh ideas (as well as our classics) on our etsy page. Thank you!
I seriously just had to make myself not puke a little in my mouth…
…but on the other hand, I would want to meet the creators – sick and twisted, my kind of people!
We’d be more then happy to meet with people to show just how sick and twisted we are… But… We are afraid to get shot and stabbed and quite possibly raped since we are pretty attractive. Ok ok lets be modest- we are gorgeous. And if anyone is raping my partner it’s going to be me.
Ugh, so tired of people getting weirded out by stuff like this, only to turn around and thoughtlessly consume bacon and eggs for breakfast, shop somewhere that treats their employees like human garbage, or buy shoes made off the hard manual labor of a kid getting 13 cents a week in a third world country. You know, REAL suffering.
These really make me smile for one reason only: John Waters would LOVE to have these all over his tree.
December 13, 2010 at 9:35 am
How did the – I don’t even – wow.
December 13, 2010 at 9:37 am
Nothing gets me in the holiday spirit more than a glitter vagina and a pipe cleaner umbilical cord.
December 13, 2010 at 9:39 am
Renders one speechless!!!
Be sure to catch “The KISS Collecton” in her shop…
Ma-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-n…!
December 13, 2010 at 9:40 am
Not spelling well today – “…Collection.”
Mondays at work. You know.
December 13, 2010 at 9:41 am
Baby Jesus was born wearing a crown of thorns? Oh poor, poor Virgin Mary’s vagina.
December 13, 2010 at 9:44 am
There should be an award for best use of a pipe cleaner in a craft. This is how it’s done bitches
December 13, 2010 at 9:48 am
Holy hell, the wet-felted cooters are multiplying!
December 13, 2010 at 9:51 am
This could only be more awesome if it were made of all edible products. Sugar cookie vagina & fondant baby jeebus for the win!!!
December 13, 2010 at 9:51 am
“Vagina is about 3″ tall.”
Uh, call me when the vagina is 3′ tall.
December 13, 2010 at 9:52 am
I always knew Mary was a brunette.
December 13, 2010 at 9:52 am
With the cord around the neck like that it will not be a live birth–also, a very painful one, what with the thorns and all.
December 13, 2010 at 9:55 am
I am absolutely asthmatic with laughter over this. Tasteless and tactless, yet rude! WINNAR.
December 13, 2010 at 10:02 am
Also – seeing as how this would have been the ULTIMATE in Xmas eve items, I’m wondering what manner of twisted, nasty, evil things Helen and Bronc have in store for us. Because, really, how do you top this for a holiday about the birth of a baby?
December 13, 2010 at 10:03 am
I had to walk away and solve a minor plumbing crisis, (“Mommy said do not flush the elf on the shelf down the toilet again!”)all the while thinking about this collection of ornaments of abortions (is that the translation of abornaments?).
Do you string them on a tree as a collection, with wire hanger garland? Is the donation statement at the end supposed to make me feel good about these?
December 13, 2010 at 10:07 am
I don’t know…I might argue that “Our Savior Lights the Way” (from the same shop) beats this…
http://www.etsy.com/listing/64077064/abornament-our-savior-lights-our-way
December 13, 2010 at 10:16 am
Uh, this can’t be accurate. There’s no way they had clit piercing back then.
December 13, 2010 at 10:22 am
OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!
That’s just wrong on so many levels.
(And it’s not even good crafting.)
December 13, 2010 at 10:24 am
mini crown of thorns = ancient IUD? Trying to put together cause and effect here…
December 13, 2010 at 10:31 am
I see it as a brooch.
December 13, 2010 at 10:38 am
Or perhaps as a hairband?
December 13, 2010 at 10:43 am
If there is a hell, this crafter has a special place there. There are no words to describe how wrong this is.
December 13, 2010 at 10:44 am
I knew there was a reason I couldn’t find the box of homemade ornaments for our tree. It’s God’s Way of telling me I need to buy a set of these.
December 13, 2010 at 10:46 am
I am concerned about the “mystery fluid” encapsulated inside the ornaments, however.
We have a very active adolescent kitten. It’s her first Xmas, and I don’t know what that “mystery fluid” will do to her or the floor after she knocks them off the tree and the break open.
December 13, 2010 at 10:47 am
Wow … this is the Regretsy C’mas trifecta;
- tacky-ass Christmas ornament made of tacky-ass materials
- highly irreverent usage of “dear lord baby Jesus”
- and … VAGINA!
Fabulous.
I’m way too amused to be offended at this point.
Just don’t try to hang it on my tree …
December 13, 2010 at 10:49 am
oh yeah, and it has many purposes … (paraphrasing) “It’s a fascinator, it’s a brooch, it’s a Christmas ornament!”
December 13, 2010 at 10:50 am
That is one surly-looking fetus. Then again, I can see how that much craft glitter could be irritating.
December 13, 2010 at 10:52 am
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December 13, 2010 at 10:54 am
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December 13, 2010 at 10:58 am
It can’t be a pro-lifer – she’s supporting Planned Parenthood with the proceeds.
Even *I* am having trouble with these – and I’m a pro-choice woman who is able to eat a cheeseburger while watching a PETA video.
December 13, 2010 at 11:00 am
it looks like a giant pomegranate is strangling a tiny roman emperor with a pink feather boa…
December 13, 2010 at 11:05 am
why is that vag wearing my uncle pete’s toupee?
December 13, 2010 at 11:08 am
#24 – she “says” she’s supporting Planned Parenthood with a portion of the proceeds – that doesn’t mean a damn thing. I’m a pro-choice atheist and I call shenanigans.
December 13, 2010 at 11:10 am
#3 Oh my goodness. THAT is just what I need right there – the KISS Fetus Quartet. :/
I always thought they were outrageous enough without having to apply the makeup in utero…
December 13, 2010 at 11:22 am
Look, I donated to Planned Parenthood in Sarah Palin’s name right along with everybody else, but at some point, you just have to stop foisting still-born crown-of-thorns Jesus on unsuspecting non-believers so that we celebrate what Christmas is really about: greed, depressingly unfulfilled expectations, and pretending that grandma hasn’t been drunk since 11 a.m.
December 13, 2010 at 11:33 am
Nothin’ says “Regretsy Christmas” like a felted vagina.
December 13, 2010 at 11:48 am
For those of you keeping score:
Son of God – 0
Coat-hanger – 1
December 13, 2010 at 12:14 pm
Personally I prefer my aborted fetus Xmas ornaments with googly eyes.
December 13, 2010 at 12:15 pm
I know I can laugh and snark at a lot of things (what would I be doing on the internet, otherwise?) but this is just the epitome of bad taste.
The glitter makes a nice touch though…
December 13, 2010 at 12:21 pm
i’ve always thought a little bit of glitter made everything more fabulous. I have finally been proved wrong.
December 13, 2010 at 12:24 pm
#32 — Also pro-choice here…and yeah, I think you put your finger on it. I’m not prone to conspiracy theories, but she strikes me as a pro-lifer trying to pass herself off as pro-choice so she can piss off as many people as possible who hold the same *actual* views she does, and get them to be greater activists. I can’t picture even the ANGRIEST of pro-choice atheists stooping to this. It’s just too “tone deaf,” if you know what I mean.
December 13, 2010 at 12:29 pm
When you’re decorating the tree with abornaments and glass balls, it’s difficult to decide on the topper. Sure you could use the star made out of glittery coathangers again, but your guests will need something new to talk about.
How about jolly old Saint Nick kicking Mary off the tree when she’s in her third trimester.
December 13, 2010 at 12:31 pm
I’m not surprised this shop has zero sales so far. I’m all for goofy crafts, but this is just awful on so many levels.
December 13, 2010 at 12:44 pm
I really bet Planned Parenthood wishes people would check with its PR department before crapping aborted Jesus ornaments all over the Internet. Whatever happened to the politically correct pre-natal vitamin and pap-smear felted fur-bearing vagina ornaments?
December 13, 2010 at 1:01 pm
This belongs on the top of the tree. And down the side a little.
December 13, 2010 at 1:15 pm
“A portion of Abornament proceeds will be donated to Planned Parenthood. “-I feel like there’s something intrinsically wrong with this…
December 13, 2010 at 1:26 pm
What’s more horrfiying is the fact that “dead Baby” is A WELL USED TAG! I clicked on it and OMMFGHJIH (oh my motherfucking god holy jesus in hell)!…
Do.not.want… ever.
December 13, 2010 at 1:33 pm
As one of the crafters involved with the abornaments, I have the following responses for Regretsy commenters:
a) A portion of the proceeds are definitely being donated to Planned Parenthood, whose PR department has nothing to do with whether folks decide to donate them. But, that said, it is a good point — we don’t want bad press for the organization so perhaps I will change the donation wording to something not directly referencing them.
b) The “mystery fluid” is actually hand soap and food dye. While probably relatively safe, I would be wary of leaving one unattended around a kitten.
c) You do know that they are not, in fact, real babies… right?
December 13, 2010 at 1:40 pm
It is extremely realistic. The interior of my ladyparts is glittery as well.
December 13, 2010 at 1:51 pm
http://www.etsy.com/listing/64080458/abornament-crack-baby-jesus?ref=v1_other_2
I thought spoons were for heroin not crack.
December 13, 2010 at 1:55 pm
@abornaments: Well, fair play to you for actually posting here in a rational tone, rather than either hiding or whining about how we just don’t get yooouuu.
That said…I REALLY don’t get yooouuu.
December 13, 2010 at 1:56 pm
Oh . . . oh, god . . . I have no words. I would say that I would never have sex, ever, after seeing that, just to make sure it never happened, but if that’s jesus, then . . . oh god. Nobody is safe.
December 13, 2010 at 1:56 pm
I think this person has managed to create something that could quite possibly be taken as offensive by anyone–pro-life, pro-choice, Christian, non-Christian, atheist, person with taste, person with no taste. I have considered myself to be each of those at one time in my life, and I think all of me finds that just awful in every way. (Okay, maybe the blind wouldn’t find it to be too dreadful, save that look on their faces once they have brailled their way into identifying it.)
Someone should let Planned Parenthood know what their name is being affiliated with. They might make more cash off of this person through a defamation lawsuit.
December 13, 2010 at 2:02 pm
#47, kudos to you for coming on and commenting! And kudos also for donating to a cause near and dear to my heart. That said…yes, I understand that these aren’t real babies, and believe it or not I think I can imagine the frustration with the “pro-life” people that I’m guessing led to the creation of these abornaments. That said, while I totally respect your right to free speech, and will defend it to the death, I’m not sure this is, um, the best way to further the cause and/or get the message out. IMHO, of course.
December 13, 2010 at 2:03 pm
@abornaments, I also would like to commend you on a rational and well thought out response. I know you mean it all in good humor, but I think what we are all trying to say is that we don’t get your sense of humor. Plus, well, ewwwwww.
December 13, 2010 at 2:22 pm
@abornaments, props for commenting, and thanks for letting me know what the “mystery fluid” is and that it’s probably not “kitten safe”.
And also big props for donating to PP. You should have some contraceptive ornaments available, too, as that’s also in keeping with the whole PP outlook on things – prevent the pregnancy in the first place so abortions aren’t necessary.
sidebar: I sat with an officer of the NY PP and her father on the train down to the Rally for Sanity in October, and was regaled of stories of distributing hundreds of thousands of condoms during Carnivale in Brazil.
December 13, 2010 at 2:30 pm
Now I FINALLY understand why “pro-choice” is so often confused with “psychotic evil killer of babies who worships satan and drinks blood for breakfast” because I’m pretty sure this seller fits both bills.
December 13, 2010 at 2:42 pm
Wording changed on the listings to avoid any negative press for PP, with whom we are NOT affiliated. Thanks for the advice, guys.
A few words for folks who don’t “get” these:
For those who are unfamiliar, these little rubber babies (which are extremely creepy all on their own) are typically forced upon girls outside of family planning clinics (I got my first, along with threats, while going to a Planned Parenthood office for a pap smear several years ago), or used to bully young pregnant women into opting out of abortion regardless of the effect it has on their (or the future child’s) life.
Each one comes with a little business card that details development stages in utero — only it’s grossly inaccurate. For instance, the card insists that this model fetus mirrors the actual fetus two weeks after conception, in both size and development.
December 13, 2010 at 2:42 pm
(continued)
That said, these are not a social or political statement. While it’s obviously not a challenge to figure out where we stand on the issue of abortion, these are not intended to change anyone’s minds, nor were they created to offend anyone in particular, on either side of the argument (though we knew that was inevitable going in). They are simply part of a silly and tasteless art series.
We don’t expect everyone to like them, but keep in mind: no ACTUAL babies were harmed in the creation of these ornaments, and no one is going to run out and get 1,000 abortions simply because they saw a fake fetus hanging out of a glittery felt vagina.
December 13, 2010 at 2:56 pm
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December 13, 2010 at 3:22 pm
It would have been waaaaaaaaaaaay uncomforable giving birth to that thorny crown.
December 13, 2010 at 3:24 pm
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December 13, 2010 at 3:25 pm
#56 Abornaments – Seriously? That is effed up.
Yeah, I’ve seen that their posters definitely don’t get the in utero stages correct though. Abortions or no, reproductive clinics like that do so many great things for women – if it wasn’t for them and their sliding-scale fee, I never could have afforded my in-utero crown of thorns.
December 13, 2010 at 3:30 pm
Whoa.
Very provocative (yes, it is,look at the comments), and dare I say ballsy of the Aborny squad to create these. Whoa.
December 13, 2010 at 3:51 pm
Cant decide what offends me more, the fact she made it or the fact it sold. I love that she puts in the blurb that its a ‘wonderfully tasteless piece’. Made my day.
December 13, 2010 at 3:54 pm
Someone bought this. Of course.
I honestly think this one is more horrifying:
http://www.etsy.com/listing/64079758/abornament-little-drummer-boy-no-1
December 13, 2010 at 3:54 pm
Christmas is FINALLY controversial!
December 13, 2010 at 4:07 pm
The cards actually claim it’s a fetus at 12 weeks’ development, not 2. I have no idea how close that is to being accurate, but it’s more accurate than 2 is.
(I totally agree that the cards and such are used as scare tactics of misinformation. I’m just correcting mi-misinformation, as it were.)
December 13, 2010 at 4:08 pm
@#56abornments-if you had put that paragraph in your description it would have answered a lot of questions. Thanks for clearing it up.
December 13, 2010 at 4:09 pm
“no ACTUAL babies were harmed in the creation of these ornaments, and no one is going to run out and get 1,000 abortions simply because they saw a fake fetus hanging out of a glittery felt vagina.”
You know that’s not the point, right? The point is that it’s gross and tasteless and juvenile. I’m a pro-choice atheist, but I’m irked by these in the same way that, as a vegetarian, I’m irked by tasteless PETA ads.
December 13, 2010 at 4:22 pm
Wow.
Haven’t been this offended in a while.
December 13, 2010 at 4:22 pm
#65 Really? Oops, my mistake. I’ll double check when I’m near them again to make sure I’m reciting the correct quotes. Sorry about that.
#66 Noted, will consider it.
#67 The point is that these are a joke. I fail to see how they’re gross, being that there’s nothing even *vaguely* realistic about them, but I will concede that they are indeed tasteless and juvenile.
I am leaving internet-land for the day, so I’ll have to respond to any further praise and/or disgust tomorrow.
December 13, 2010 at 4:31 pm
Clitter!
December 13, 2010 at 4:51 pm
Clearly Mary was a vampire.
December 13, 2010 at 5:29 pm
I think I’m in the minority here, but I like them. I wouldn’t hang one on my tree, but I really really wish that I knew someone who would appreciate it. It’s so fucked up, it’s funny.
December 13, 2010 at 6:04 pm
The thing that worries me the most is that my vagina looks nothing like the ones on Etsy. I’m embarrassed to go to the doctor, but I feel like I might not be normal, you know, *down there*.
December 13, 2010 at 6:08 pm
I have never seen the inside of my vag– but I hope its just as glittery!!!
December 13, 2010 at 6:30 pm
1. Horrified.
2. Pro-life, and snickering.
3. Okay, not snickering.
4. Okay, snickering.
5. Thinking of forwarding it to my friend who works for Planned Parenthood.
6. Thinking that the last thing my friend’s bedroom wall needs is a another picture of a vagina taped to it.
7. Thinking my friend’s wall needs another picture of a vagina taped to it.
8. Looking at the picture again and feeling slightly sick.
9. Getting bored, moving on and finding myself outraged that some twee fake-wholesome mom is trying to sell Oriental Trading Co. rainy-day crafts on Etsy at a 1325% markup.
10. Wondering where my priorities are.
11. Deciding that it doesn’t matter, since it’s only the Internet again. Going home to see if the cat has crapped out that LED Christmas light yet.
December 13, 2010 at 11:21 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
December 13, 2010 at 11:40 pm
It’s the Vagina Pedagogues!
I’m holding out for a Virgin Mary in childbirth statue with yellow roses sprouting out of her cooch. Because the Virgin Mary’s vagina is totally sacred.
Actually, I consider this image of her cooch without the bouquet of yellow roses sprouting out or glowing aura encircling to be exceptionally blasphemous. Show some respect people!
December 14, 2010 at 12:12 am
I gotta give a +100 to the lovely people who made these…
I may be a part of the minority, but I like ‘em. They’re controversial, get people talking, and are definitely, in one way or another, eye catching.
I am a proud pro-choice Atheist and I honestly don’t see them as “gross”, however immature. Sometimes life just needs to be a little less serious. Not like I’m gonna go skewer some baby-kabobs just because I saw it on the internet.
Pretty funny ornaments, though.
December 14, 2010 at 4:18 am
@SlySevSteph – did you even READ that comic book?? To me it looks like a pro-life mock up, as the way the people are acting they’re making it look evil to have an abortion. The one woman is getting one so she can keep her Mercedes….wtf??
December 14, 2010 at 6:54 am
I am in fact the other member of the Abornaments team. Thank you for all the positive comments and for the negative ones too. The positive ones remind me why we did this in the first place and the negative ones bring joy to my heart and laughter to my mouth. I appreciate you!
. You have to do what you enjoy and live life to the fullest and laugh. I am doing all of the above.
I also wanted to clear something else up. Several people have said we are certainly going to hell. Well my friends that is only a half truth. I will certainly be going to the engulfing flames of hell since I am a baptized catholic but my lovely counterpart will not be. Fortunately she is a Jew and there is no hell for those people. So ha ha I say! Jokes on you all… Wait a minute… I guess the jokes on me! I’m ok with that though. It’s worth it
December 14, 2010 at 8:36 am
@Abornaments, thanks for the explanation. I had an abortion *before* that kind of madness became widespread; I didn’t know that these were made from those models. I understand they’re not a social or political comment, and just part of an art series, but you know what? The little buggers are starting to grow on me — no pun or anything like that intended.
Thanks again for engaging with us!
December 14, 2010 at 10:09 am
Re: going to hell – wtf, come with me – I’ve got the VIP suite booked….oh wait, I don’t believe in hell…..damn, some of the best people I know are headed there – it would be a rockin’ place!
December 14, 2010 at 10:36 am
All of you commenters who said something to the effect of “I might be in the minority, but I like them”–go look in that shop now! They’re all but sold out! Regretsy marketing triumphs again!
P.S.: I am also appreciative to @adornaments for the further explanation about the little fetuses being handed out at PP, and you should definitely put that in the description as it makes your point much clearer.
(I still don’t want one, so don’t any of you get any ideas)
December 14, 2010 at 10:44 am
As a person who is pro-choice, but who still is not thrilled by realities of abortion (I’m fairly certain I’m not the only one), I think the problem with this is that it gleefully celebrates abortion as a response to pro-life protests. It’s basically responding to offensive demagoguery with what will cause quite possibly the greatest offense in return: the celebration of an abortion or stillbirth of Jesus.
As for it not being a social or political statement… I suspect you’re not being fully truthful. But even if you are, you don’t get the last word on that. Intent is meaningless in the face of actual effect. Some of those pro-life protesters don’t intend to control women through lack of choice, they intend to save itty wittle babies. But their intent is certainly not the end of it.
December 14, 2010 at 11:44 am
It’s offensive. It’s shocking. It sells.
It’s Capitalism!
December 14, 2010 at 12:33 pm
Once again… I’m the one of the Abornament makers. To #86- read #87. We don’t really have an agenda or a point we are trying to get across. It started off as a thought, that turned into a joke, that turned into a shopping spree, that turned into these ornaments, that turned into more of a success then we had thought. It’s pretty sweet! We thought we’d offend a lot more people then we did, not that that was our intention. It actually turns out quite a lot of people really enjoy them. It’s ok to feel negatively about them but please don’t take it to heart. We are going to continue to make them and blossom our ideas. Look for fresh ideas (as well as our classics) on our etsy page. Thank you!
December 14, 2010 at 12:58 pm
#88 Dude, did you read #86? We don’t get the last word on our… well, words. You smell awesome, by the way. #88, not #86.
December 14, 2010 at 1:54 pm
I think they’re awesome. Plus dammit I’ve been searching for those little buggers for an art project of my own for awhile…
December 14, 2010 at 5:21 pm
#89 Abornaments- I actually showered for a change. I showered for you. I showered for baby Jesus…dead baby Jesus.
I just made this creepier. I apologize.
December 14, 2010 at 6:36 pm
God damnit, here I was trying to take a mature approach and you’ve gotta make a dead baby joke.
Oh… wait.
December 14, 2010 at 8:16 pm
“Shop added to favorites”
December 15, 2010 at 1:00 pm
I seriously just had to make myself not puke a little in my mouth…
…but on the other hand, I would want to meet the creators – sick and twisted, my kind of people!
December 15, 2010 at 4:53 pm
We’d be more then happy to meet with people to show just how sick and twisted we are… But… We are afraid to get shot and stabbed and quite possibly raped since we are pretty attractive. Ok ok lets be modest- we are gorgeous. And if anyone is raping my partner it’s going to be me.
December 15, 2010 at 5:12 pm
I checked the other offerings from this seller. The “Festive Crack Baby” was also a winner.
December 15, 2010 at 5:37 pm
Y’know, Abornments defense of their body of work (however tasteless it may be) would actually get them an A in most art schools.
December 15, 2010 at 8:43 pm
Quoting the Holiday classic:
“they know that Saaaaaaanta’s on his way….
he’s putting lots of felted cooters on his sleigh…”
December 16, 2010 at 12:21 am
Ugh, so tired of people getting weirded out by stuff like this, only to turn around and thoughtlessly consume bacon and eggs for breakfast, shop somewhere that treats their employees like human garbage, or buy shoes made off the hard manual labor of a kid getting 13 cents a week in a third world country. You know, REAL suffering.
These really make me smile for one reason only: John Waters would LOVE to have these all over his tree.
December 16, 2010 at 7:42 am
Yikes, this is all bad, regardless of anyone’s views.
December 16, 2010 at 5:12 pm
#100 You’re right, everyone else’s opinion is obsolete because you have blessed us with your own. Thank you for such enlightenment.
December 22, 2010 at 8:42 pm
This showed up on my facebook news feed today: http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y287/saffiremoon21/abortaments.jpg
The comment in all caps is my favorite.