I’ve always been impressed by artists who can master the ‘out of focus’ painting technique. It takes real dedication and talent to paint something that looks like you took a picture out of focus.
The out-of-focus shot was deliberate, as a sign of respect. You don’t want to stare Chicken Jesus directly in the eye, not even in his spectral ornamate incarnation.
I see nothing wrong with this ornament. You people forget that baby Jesus was born over 2000 years ago, and people back then were not as evolutionarily advanced as we are today. It wasn’t until sometime in the late the reign of Claudius II Gothicus, that people stopped laying flesh-colored eggs, and gave live birth to worm like babies. It is the nativity scenes showing Jesus with arms and legs that are wrong.
We should count our blessing. Had Jesus come just a mere 50 years earlier, instead of the celebrating the virgin conception and subsequent laying, we would be celebrating the spontaneous budding of our Lord and Savior.
@ #28 Holytape-
I actually thought the Jesus head looked more like a breast with a very dark, Sharpied nipple. But then I just got back from the eye doctor and my pupils are like greek olives.
I enjoyed the almost Dr. Seussian nature of the description.
I made it with paint. The paint is acrylic. I painted a manger. I painted by hand. (Sorry, I had no rhyme for acrylic.)
It’s tied with a bow, the bow is gold, the Jesus is blurry, but screw you, it sold!
You people just don’t understand… An ornamate is nothing like an ornament, it’s only incomprehensible to everyone who is not truely whimsical.
No misspelling here, mates.
I enjoyed the almost Dr. Seussian nature of the description.
I made it with paint!
I made it with glass!
I made it with chutzpah and hubris and sass!
I made it with hocus!
I made it with pocus!
…Now how in the hell does this camera focus?!
Just think of what would have happened if the seller had drawn a schematic of this on a napkin and had someone else make it for her. The words “Fuck the napkin” would probably be involved when she sees the end result.
@50 Sid Space Goat- Of course, when I think of glamor I think of religious symbols carved into peoples torsos. My designs have even gotten me on a hot top 10 list! FBI, not People though.
Seriously, people, use the menu on your camera – it is not that hard to focus on close objects! Hell, they even have “auction” settings on some of them!
#12 pavlovsdaughter: From now on all descriptions on etsy will now be done in Christopher Walken voice-over in my head, thanks. I find it improves them…
I’m still trying to get around ‘handpainted glass ornament.’ It doesn’t look either!
December 7, 2010 at 9:38 am
A keeled over baby chick with a lump of bubble gum and a rubber band on it’s back.
December 7, 2010 at 9:39 am
Surely our Lord and Savior is worthy of a camera with auto focus.
December 7, 2010 at 9:40 am
Three feet tall? That’s gotta be some Hugh Jass tree.
December 7, 2010 at 9:40 am
Math and spelling issues.
December 7, 2010 at 9:41 am
Spelled “ornamate” on every. single. tag.
December 7, 2010 at 9:42 am
how can you get acrylic right and ornament wrong 4 times?
December 7, 2010 at 9:42 am
It looks like a blurry baby Jesus is blowing smoke rings.
December 7, 2010 at 9:45 am
Ornamate is a special holiday condiment enjoyed in Australia.
December 7, 2010 at 9:45 am
#3 with 9th class shipping for only $2.50
#6 the same hubris that let them get the product itself so totally wrong
December 7, 2010 at 9:47 am
An art piece so bad even the camera had to have a stiff drink or four.
December 7, 2010 at 9:48 am
Wow, where’s the NSFW tag? A blonde not-well-endowed guy getting ready to put on a condom?
December 7, 2010 at 9:55 am
Reads very eloquent in Christopher Walken voice.
December 7, 2010 at 10:01 am
I’ve always been impressed by artists who can master the ‘out of focus’ painting technique. It takes real dedication and talent to paint something that looks like you took a picture out of focus.
December 7, 2010 at 10:05 am
I’ve heard that some species ornamate for life.
December 7, 2010 at 10:05 am
If “ornamate” is short for “animated ornament”, this is SO worth the $3.50.
December 7, 2010 at 10:12 am
This seller lives in Oklahomate.
December 7, 2010 at 10:25 am
You say Ornamate – I say Ornameat!
http://www.etsy.com/listing/17950087/orna-meat-tri-pack
December 7, 2010 at 10:30 am
I no longer know how to spell ornamate.
December 7, 2010 at 10:32 am
It’s also very whimsicle.
December 7, 2010 at 10:32 am
Is Baby Jesus a cyclops?
December 7, 2010 at 10:34 am
The out-of-focus shot was deliberate, as a sign of respect. You don’t want to stare Chicken Jesus directly in the eye, not even in his spectral ornamate incarnation.
December 7, 2010 at 10:47 am
Is that one of the Martian ships from Mars Attacks or an ornamate?
December 7, 2010 at 10:49 am
Is that an ornamate on your tree or are you just happy to see me?
December 7, 2010 at 10:52 am
I thought that ornamate meant this Jesus is destined to be a sailor.
December 7, 2010 at 10:54 am
@17 qwertygirl – and in a special “addition” no less!!!
It would be really cool to give this seller the gift of SpellCheck this holiday season. Anyone???
December 7, 2010 at 10:56 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
December 7, 2010 at 10:56 am
And – it SOLD!!!!!
December 7, 2010 at 11:01 am
I see nothing wrong with this ornament. You people forget that baby Jesus was born over 2000 years ago, and people back then were not as evolutionarily advanced as we are today. It wasn’t until sometime in the late the reign of Claudius II Gothicus, that people stopped laying flesh-colored eggs, and gave live birth to worm like babies. It is the nativity scenes showing Jesus with arms and legs that are wrong.
We should count our blessing. Had Jesus come just a mere 50 years earlier, instead of the celebrating the virgin conception and subsequent laying, we would be celebrating the spontaneous budding of our Lord and Savior.
December 7, 2010 at 11:07 am
They also have some pretty nice toad bags in their store.
December 7, 2010 at 11:14 am
Damn, I can’t really tell what this is… apparently my glaucoma is acting up.
I didn’t even KNOW I had glaucoma till I clicked on the calendar.
December 7, 2010 at 11:15 am
@ #28 Holytape-
I actually thought the Jesus head looked more like a breast with a very dark, Sharpied nipple. But then I just got back from the eye doctor and my pupils are like greek olives.
December 7, 2010 at 11:32 am
#31 Wilma Fingerdoo
Well, 2000 years ago, breasts were eggs with small melanomas. It was a very confusing time for teenage boys and oncologists……
December 7, 2010 at 11:41 am
I like how he can spell “polyurethane” in other posts but apparently ornament was just too hard.
December 7, 2010 at 12:06 pm
“Ghost PUMPIN Halloween Bag”
http://www.etsy.com/listing/56263205/ghost-pumpin-halloween-bag
This ghost is definitely “pumpin” somethin’. =0
December 7, 2010 at 12:40 pm
Looks like one of McDonalds “French Fry guys”
December 7, 2010 at 1:13 pm
I enjoyed the almost Dr. Seussian nature of the description.
I made it with paint. The paint is acrylic. I painted a manger. I painted by hand. (Sorry, I had no rhyme for acrylic.)
It’s tied with a bow, the bow is gold, the Jesus is blurry, but screw you, it sold!
December 7, 2010 at 1:13 pm
You people just don’t understand… An ornamate is nothing like an ornament, it’s only incomprehensible to everyone who is not truely whimsical.
No misspelling here, mates.
December 7, 2010 at 1:19 pm
I enjoyed the almost Dr. Seussian nature of the description.
I made it with paint!
I made it with glass!
I made it with chutzpah and hubris and sass!
I made it with hocus!
I made it with pocus!
…Now how in the hell does this camera focus?!
December 7, 2010 at 1:24 pm
…personally I think the terse description is a little more Hemingway than Seuss, but YMMV.
December 7, 2010 at 1:32 pm
So, the lord baby Jesus grew up to be Ziggy?
December 7, 2010 at 1:42 pm
All I can say is “Ornamaste, Jesus!”
December 7, 2010 at 2:04 pm
#36 Upchuck Norris for your acrylic rhyme how about “The scene is idyllic”?
December 7, 2010 at 2:44 pm
At least I wasn’t the only one who saw Ziggy Jesus.
December 7, 2010 at 3:41 pm
The best part? She spelled “ornamate” 3 different ways in her tags.
December 7, 2010 at 3:42 pm
My first thought was the misspelling was intentional and it was going to be a wacky sex ornament. Fail.
December 7, 2010 at 4:44 pm
Just think of what would have happened if the seller had drawn a schematic of this on a napkin and had someone else make it for her. The words “Fuck the napkin” would probably be involved when she sees the end result.
December 7, 2010 at 4:47 pm
I had no idea that Jesus looked like a bald Tribble early in his days!
December 7, 2010 at 6:42 pm
Clearly, this is Jesus as a one celled blastocele. Mary must have delivered, like, 9 months early.
December 7, 2010 at 7:03 pm
#48-So His birth truly was a miracle. The manger must’ve served as some sort of incubator till he was fully grown.
December 7, 2010 at 8:14 pm
“Santa has a crossed carved out of his tummy to add a little glamor to him.”
http://www.etsy.com/listing/62039137/santa-gourd-with-cross?ref=v1_other_2
so take that you Jesus show off with your look-at-me stigmata
December 7, 2010 at 9:59 pm
All I want for Christmas is these God-damned cataracts removed!
December 8, 2010 at 2:24 am
Away in a manger, or so it is said,
The lumpen Lord Jesus was just a bald head!
December 8, 2010 at 7:29 am
@50 Sid Space Goat- Of course, when I think of glamor I think of religious symbols carved into peoples torsos. My designs have even gotten me on a hot top 10 list! FBI, not People though.
December 8, 2010 at 9:05 am
Seriously, people, use the menu on your camera – it is not that hard to focus on close objects! Hell, they even have “auction” settings on some of them!
December 8, 2010 at 10:27 am
#12 pavlovsdaughter: From now on all descriptions on etsy will now be done in Christopher Walken voice-over in my head, thanks. I find it improves them…
I’m still trying to get around ‘handpainted glass ornament.’ It doesn’t look either!
December 8, 2010 at 2:17 pm
@#55 unseeliepixie : Best whimsicle suggestion ever! “I. Need. More. Ornament.”
I love how each shot gets progressively worse. Looks like what my kids leave on the bathroom mirror.