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CUT TO: TRASH CAN

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69 comments on CUT TO: TRASH CAN

  1. suedonim
    November 30, 2010 at 1:48 pm

    Thee or ye. Make up thy mind.

    Thumb up Thumb down +116

  2. Combustion
    November 30, 2010 at 1:48 pm

    SCREENPLAY WIN

    Thumb up Thumb down +57

  3. steviesegel
    November 30, 2010 at 1:50 pm

    Her bio page is a big bucket of WTF too.

    Thumb up Thumb down +45

  4. sparkletrash
    November 30, 2010 at 1:50 pm

    WORST!

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  5. Jess-sicle
    November 30, 2010 at 1:51 pm

    This human knows absolutely nothing about jewelry making…
    and thine hath a very long long wayeth to goeth.

    Thumb up Thumb down +57

  6. steviesegel
    November 30, 2010 at 1:52 pm

    And you can’t be goth whilst quoting Train lyrics:
    http://www.etsy.com/listing/62123239/drops-of-jupiter

    Thumb up Thumb down +46

  7. searingflesh55
    November 30, 2010 at 1:52 pm

    WTF kind of bone is that? Looks like a baby’s pelvis or something. Creepy!!

    Can’t wait for the screenplay! I would like to see that Twilight chick as the lead. Or Evan Rachel Wood, she awesome, but a bit scary.

    Thumb up Thumb down +22

  8. Wilma Fingerdoo
    November 30, 2010 at 1:53 pm

    My dog would be all over whoever wore this necklace trying to claim that rawhide.

    Thumb up Thumb down +48

  9. bootsychoo
    November 30, 2010 at 1:54 pm

    L-O-V-E the scene. But, I must ask: did you consider writing it for nude Ben Affleck & Matt Damon?

    Thumb up Thumb down +100

  10. singram
    November 30, 2010 at 2:00 pm

    I just sent her the number to the suicide hotline.

    Thumb up Thumb down +24

  11. DTKMKihn.blogspot.com
    November 30, 2010 at 2:02 pm

    I would be in Absolute Sorrow if I received that necklace.

    Rawhide and chainlink are not my style.

    Thumb up Thumb down +19

  12. TheSheep
    November 30, 2010 at 2:03 pm

    @#6 – It looks like somebody’s spine to me, but her description says, “This piece has 28″ of silver plated mother and child chain, a genuine hip bone possibly from a calf, lamb, or deer .” Great, she is making jewelry from baby dead things.

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

  13. Mandi Apple
    November 30, 2010 at 2:04 pm

    I actually really like her stuff, but then occasionally I like a refreshing change from giant hipster alien-face-hugger cowls and felted soaps decorated with frigging foxes XD

    Thumb up Thumb down +28

  14. Travelgrrl
    November 30, 2010 at 2:06 pm

    “Possibly from a calf,lamb or deer”

    Or from the cemetery down the way. I’m not a biologist, folks!

    Thumb up Thumb down +63

  15. jeremytime
    November 30, 2010 at 2:08 pm

    I suspect she gathers her bones from victims she’s talked into suicide. “Ye look mopey? Does thou want to talk about it?”

    Thumb up Thumb down +40

  16. HelenaHandbasket
    November 30, 2010 at 2:09 pm

    I’m getting malaise, maybe ennui….. not so much sorrow.

    Thumb up Thumb down +56

  17. ashphile
    November 30, 2010 at 2:12 pm

    If I wanted a pelvis pressed against my chest, I’m quite sure I would want it to be 1) human and 2) alive.

    Thumb up Thumb down +84

  18. Fartinamitten
    November 30, 2010 at 2:13 pm

    Any human wearing this would have to be lacking in happiness. Just viewing this has sucked the happy right out of thee, um, I mean “me”.

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  19. knittin-kitten
    November 30, 2010 at 2:14 pm

    Too bad Goth Talk isn’t on the air anymore. I’d love to see Circe and Azriel interview her.

    Thumb up Thumb down +25

  20. pentoon
    November 30, 2010 at 2:18 pm

    Hmm, there’s some pretty good stuff in the shop though, and then there are pieces like this
    http://www.etsy.com/listing/57867790/the-maple-and-the-stag?ref=v1_other_2

    She did tag it ‘natural history wood’ so she must see what I see, at least on some level.

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  21. skarah1313
    November 30, 2010 at 2:19 pm

    This picture isn’t depressing enough. Replace those books with ones that have black and blue covers. And then put the whole thing in a dimly lit room with candle light. This should only be seen in the dark,and likely will in a night club setting.

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  22. pplrdum
    November 30, 2010 at 2:21 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -14

  23. MothraStewart
    November 30, 2010 at 2:22 pm

    Don’t worry guys! If you buy her separate listing for shipping for only $28.50, she’ll get it to you overnight!

    “Also, check my shop for gift wrapping service! That way the item can go directly form to the recipient perfectly wrapped!”

    Hey baby! Guess what I got you for Christmas!

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

  24. Dix
    November 30, 2010 at 2:36 pm

    The bone is my favorite part of that. Way better than all those Hobby Lobby cheap-ass jewelry bits.

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  25. butterwort
    November 30, 2010 at 2:37 pm

    That looks suspiciously like a turkey pelvis. Thanksgiving leftovers?

    Thumb up Thumb down +43

  26. sibylla
    November 30, 2010 at 2:42 pm

    Not gonna lie, I’d probably wear this. I have a bird skull necklace I bought in my goth days that I still wear. I think it’s kinda cool.

    The writeup on the other hand? Fucking awful.

    Thumb up Thumb down +28

  27. kakhijack
    November 30, 2010 at 2:42 pm

    But why is a turkey pelvis wearing such cheap earrings? I prefer my pelvis be adorned with diamond studs.

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

  28. TooManyCookbooks
    November 30, 2010 at 2:45 pm

    ‘Hello, campus police? Yes, this is Dr Cookbooks; I’d like to report a break-in and theft here in the Anatomy and Physiology department. Some weirdo has made off with a few of our educational displays again. I was planning to head down to the art department and. . .what’s that? Check “Etsy”? And you’ll be sending someone right away? Okay! Thanks for your help!’

    Thumb up Thumb down +18

  29. whaapplewha
    November 30, 2010 at 2:59 pm

    That brought tears of joy to my eyes- God Bless you April.

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  30. tejasmom
    November 30, 2010 at 3:00 pm

    I like the fact that she/he has lots of stuff on sale for $1 or $5. Surely you can find something in your price range.

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  31. whaapplewha
    November 30, 2010 at 3:01 pm

    Seriously, who spells their name in part capital, part lower case letters. Ve are annoYeD.

    Thumb up Thumb down +22

  32. WhyLikeThis
    November 30, 2010 at 3:51 pm

    this appears to be the atlas bone (first cervical vertebrae) of a deer

    hell, i wish it was the hip bone of one of the animals mentioned. it would be much larger,look stupider and a hell of a lot funnier.

    to the seller: “deep” and “mopey” are two different things. good luck with your screenplay.

    Thumb up Thumb down +24

  33. EmilyStranger
    November 30, 2010 at 4:02 pm

    Absolute Sorrow, isn’t that the new goth flavored vodka flavored with Robert Smith’s tears?

    Thumb up Thumb down +53

  34. BettyMachete
    November 30, 2010 at 4:02 pm

    What Etsy makes, eHarmony can deliver.
    Man part- John Mayer
    Woman part- Molly Ringwald

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  35. Nico
    November 30, 2010 at 4:05 pm

    Why is someone so obviously determined to be murky and depressed telling ME I don’t know how to be happy?

    Thumb up Thumb down +17

  36. Holden Back
    November 30, 2010 at 4:08 pm

    I think we can all agree that’s just sad.

    As in ‘sad twat’.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  37. MyEyesMyEyes
    November 30, 2010 at 4:14 pm

    Sadly, this screenplay will probably go on to win an Academy Award!

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  38. I farted on that once
    November 30, 2010 at 4:15 pm

    More “absence of details”; less “steam punk junk,” please.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  39. manybellsdown
    November 30, 2010 at 4:19 pm

    Well I *thought* I was pretty happy. Goodness what would I do without random internet people telling me I’m not?

    @27 – Not to be pedantic, but doesn’t everyone write their name with part capital, part lowercase letters? We just usually put the captials at the beginning. Unless you’re e e cummings. See my screen name.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  40. LilPorkchop
    November 30, 2010 at 4:24 pm

    It looks like a vertebra. A very flat vertebra with festive little earrings fashioned from emo kids’ tears on.

    …that movie is going to suck-eth.

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

  41. The Blue Kraken
    November 30, 2010 at 4:32 pm

    “Humans know absolutely nothing about happiness.”
    “OOak, Enjoy!”

    … im just stating at these two statements in a listing for something she expects people to buy. really?
    aparently she’s trying to sell human misery combined with animal misery and death. so i guess if i wear it we can all spread the misery and i can wear something god awful and dead.. probably as dead as the box office will be when this goes to print.

    HK’s version though .. that’s gold. film short FTW

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

  42. Whore-Poet
    November 30, 2010 at 5:02 pm

    Robert Frost’s vintage bleached collar bone screenplay biodegradable neck tie. Eco-friendly.

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  43. invaderhorizongreen
    November 30, 2010 at 5:31 pm

    that looks like rawhide for a dog with earring bits attached to it!

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  44. HomeAlone
    November 30, 2010 at 5:37 pm

    I’d be totally down with it if those little danglies were detachable earrings.

    Can’t be any weirder than this girl: http://dsc.discovery.com/videos/oddities-model-mortician/

    I wonder if she’s on Etsy?!!

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  45. Badger
    November 30, 2010 at 6:24 pm

    Dear, talking like a Pilgrim on acid isn’t going to earn you any friends.

    Also, did no one ever tell Thee the Bible was NOT originally written in Middle English?

    And now I’m going to be happy just to spite her. Since I’m normally sort of depressed, this is a major undertaking for me, but it’s worth it.

    Thumb up Thumb down +16

  46. squasha
    November 30, 2010 at 9:28 pm

    She needs a cup of eggnog and a dachshund and maybe a nice little bit of Garrison Keillor on the radio, that’s what.

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  47. Natashka1982
    November 30, 2010 at 10:03 pm

    Her: I can’t wait til we have a baby; think of all the necklaces I could make out of that??

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  48. Barney Rubble
    November 30, 2010 at 10:05 pm

    Bone? Well son-of-a-bitch! I thought it was some unbaked pie crust rolled into an interesting shape and hardened enough to keep from tearing from the wire loops holding the whole mess together. I guess I should’ve gone to the Etsy listing first. I see she also has “things for the pretties” . . . does that mean stuff for her vagina? And what kind of a closing is “OOak, Enjoy” anyway?

    OOak, Later,
    Barney

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  49. kluke
    November 30, 2010 at 10:41 pm

    Call me edgy, but I’d wear this thing pulled way up high under my nose so it looked like massive decorated buck teeth. Perhaps therein lies the sorrow…

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  50. Barney Rubble
    November 30, 2010 at 10:52 pm

    Shit, now you’ve made me look up OOAK, too.

    Now my brain is full.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  51. Buzzkill Crying Glitter Eagle
    November 30, 2010 at 10:57 pm

    Annnd it’s not a hip bone, dammit, so my “hipster” joke is just not going to work with this item.

    I guess this is what you give someone who needs a bit of a backbone, like to stand up to an abusive spouse or mother in law?

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  52. katfud
    November 30, 2010 at 11:49 pm

    Woman:

    Wait! Wait! Where are you going? I wanted to give you a complimentary etsy ass print for meeting me today! And my friend who sells stuffed doxies is coming over later. You can’t just go now..?

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  53. Spiderguise
    December 1, 2010 at 12:08 am

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -3

  54. Stephani
    December 1, 2010 at 3:19 am

    @20 pentoon: “I bent the verdigris maple leaf to match the antler then affixed them together.
    Green Moss Agate cubes are speckled along…”
    Verdigris? Affixed? Speckled? looks like she just went and grabbed the longest synonyms she could find.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  55. caffeinekitten
    December 1, 2010 at 6:00 am

    At a glance, her other stuff looks okay but ridiculously overpriced.
    As for this bone necklace…it’s just badly done. =.= And she can sell this for 27USD??

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  56. Whore-Poet
    December 1, 2010 at 10:27 am

    27.50 is way too much for absolute sorrow. I prefer my misery be self-imposed and free. Suckers…

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  57. Sanity_Loss
    December 1, 2010 at 11:52 am

    I think the screenplay got made. It’s called ‘Hellraiser.’

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  58. raven
    December 1, 2010 at 12:49 pm

    The price is reasonable. Too bad the seller is crazy though

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  59. kayejazz
    December 1, 2010 at 6:06 pm

    Best part of the post was the screen play.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  60. darkandtwisty
    December 1, 2010 at 7:50 pm

    If it makes anyone feel any better I study physical anthropology and that definitely isn’t human.

    Don’t you all feel better now?

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  61. Ariesian
    December 2, 2010 at 9:27 am

    Nice, but I prefer the much more depressing skull decorations to the… butterfly vertebrae. Now, just to get a novella to go with them…

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  62. chymiera
    December 11, 2010 at 9:35 am

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -9

    • Bronc Drywall
      March 16, 2011 at 10:11 am

      I wish there were a word more powerful than HERO, for this would be the only way to accurately describe the good work that you do. Imagine,…you stand up for the underdog! It’s just you against the world! You should have a string orchestra follow you around at all times to play the appropriate dramatic accompaniment.

      Thumb up Thumb down +13

    • KitCameo
      March 18, 2011 at 11:36 am

      Jesus Christ, I can’t believe I was actually happy for you for being featured. Go fuck yourself you whiny cuntbag!

      Thumb up Thumb down +7

    • Helen Killer
      March 18, 2011 at 11:39 am

      Thanks for linking your store in your screen name, CrYmEaRivER.

      Thumb up Thumb down +11

    • Staccato the Idiot Chorus Boy
      March 22, 2011 at 10:33 am

      Is this the passo-aggro flounce that started it all? Too bad. Strong craftspersonship, some good stuff… She probably would have sold a lot more stuff to Regretsians if she hadn’t decided to start a war.

      Thumb up Thumb down 0

      • unseeliepixie
        March 22, 2011 at 9:37 pm

        I would like to report a missing cat…

        Thumb up Thumb down +2

  63. gruvepuppy
    March 18, 2011 at 10:40 pm

    Just because people buy something doesn’t mean it’s not crap. Snuggies, for instance.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  64. BastardLoveChild
    March 19, 2011 at 9:56 am

    If something you intend to sell is illegal in some states, you probably shouldn’t sell it. Also, who gives a shit that you’re writing a screenplay?

    On a side note, where the hell did you get a human bone to make this piece of shit?

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

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