42

JESUS SHAVES

Well to be fair, that is how it sounds when you don’t have any teeth.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

42 comments on JESUS SHAVES

  1. joshpincusiscrying
    November 29, 2010 at 1:35 pm

    Obviously, morale building begins with a lot of alcohol before firing up the printing presses.

    Thumb up Thumb down +78

  2. knittin-kitten
    November 29, 2010 at 1:35 pm

    If you can’t spell the motto on your poster correctly, you really shouldn’t have a poster.

    Thumb up Thumb down +45

  3. knittin-kitten
    November 29, 2010 at 1:38 pm

    Keep calm and keep the spellcheck on.

    Thumb up Thumb down +162

  4. unclefoo
    November 29, 2010 at 1:42 pm

    I said Lord take me downtown, I’m just lookin’ for some Trush.

    Thumb up Thumb down +50

  5. Evil Seedlet
    November 29, 2010 at 1:51 pm

    Ha! They already changed it.

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  6. Easily_Distracted
    November 29, 2010 at 1:51 pm

    The best part is how well the description below it is written. It must have been copied and pasted from somewhere in Northumberland…

    Thumb up Thumb down +22

  7. shockthebourgeois
    November 29, 2010 at 1:51 pm

    Needs a grammar check too.

    Jesus, keep calm and trush yourself.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  8. Thenutmeg2000
    November 29, 2010 at 1:51 pm

    I wonder what the people at the print shop thought when they saw this. She thought they were smiling at her cause she was pretty at check-out at the print shop…

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  9. LeeLooDallas
    November 29, 2010 at 1:53 pm

    Keep Clam and Tush Justin.

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  10. knittin-kitten
    November 29, 2010 at 1:54 pm

    @Easily Distracted-I thought it sounded familiar so I went to Wikipedia. There it was, the first paragraph of the entry for “Keep Calm and Carry on Poster” poster.

    Thumb up Thumb down +27

  11. orygunpam
    November 29, 2010 at 1:57 pm

    http://www.etsy.com/listing/62948441/keep-calm-play-wii-11×17-purple-poster?ref=v1_other_1

    Who knew that the Queen played Wii during WWII?
    Someone should change their descriptions when they change the pictures for the items being sold.

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  12. Wilma Fingerdoo
    November 29, 2010 at 2:01 pm

    Thrush Jesus could benefit from antifungals.

    Thumb up Thumb down +66

  13. spacedog
    November 29, 2010 at 2:01 pm

    I’m glad the British government stuck with “God shave the Queen” instead.

    Thumb up Thumb down +68

  14. dementeddes
    November 29, 2010 at 2:02 pm

    They may have changed the spelling in the text, but there are a variety of “seizes” available.

    Thumb up Thumb down +27

  15. miss_naughty
    November 29, 2010 at 2:03 pm

    I had Trush once. I went to the doctor and got some medication that cleared it right up.

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

  16. SheSaidPop
    November 29, 2010 at 2:07 pm

    I would rather keep calm and truss Jesus.

    I’ll be all, “Yo, that cross looked really heavy…wear this, it’ll give you lumbar support.”

    Thumb up Thumb down +79

  17. pplrdum
    November 29, 2010 at 2:11 pm

    really? she couldn’t paraphrase, or even credit Wikipedia at all? how lazy can you be?

    How much does it cost if I want one that makes sense?

    Thumb up Thumb down +15

  18. Accounty Jones
    November 29, 2010 at 2:13 pm

    Even without the misspelling and Jesusosity, that is one godawful poster. The typeface and proportions are all wrong. If you’re going to base something on a well-known design, it should at least resemble the original. And if your only design element is type, it should be good-looking type. Otherwise you could just print yourself out a Word document and hang that on your wall.

    That said, here’s probably my favorite riff on the Keep Calm poster:
    http://mmagearguide.net/scramble-no-attack-groin-t-shirt

    Thumb up Thumb down +27

  19. Rob T Firefly
    November 29, 2010 at 2:13 pm

    What was that about Thrush Jesus?

    Thumb up Thumb down +91

  20. SheSaidPop
    November 29, 2010 at 2:15 pm

    If you are ever in a movie theatre and a certain beared deity is sitting next to you talking really loudly, don’t freak out.

    Just keep calm and shush Jesus.

    Thumb up Thumb down +71

  21. LeeLooDallas
    November 29, 2010 at 2:18 pm

    There was a Flush Jesus poster, but it was crap.

    Thumb up Thumb down +55

  22. SheSaidPop
    November 29, 2010 at 2:19 pm

    Dear Satan:

    Are you worried that you’ll never end up ruling the Earth, no matter how hard you try? Don’t give up! I think you can do this. The key is to put aside your fear of failure, maintain your focus, and work on eliminating the competition.

    In short: KEEP CALM AND CRUSH JESUS.

    Thumb up Thumb down +30

  23. WhyLikeThis
    November 29, 2010 at 2:22 pm

    authenticity failure:
    British people don’t write with an accent, seller

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

    • LtotheE
      October 4, 2011 at 3:33 pm

      when i read it, i heard it in Sean-Connery-minus-the-dentures voice.

      Thumb up Thumb down 0

  24. HelenaHandbasket
    November 29, 2010 at 2:31 pm

    It harkens the Engrish.com warning of “Remain Clam”.

    Thumb up Thumb down +33

  25. Holden Back
    November 29, 2010 at 2:47 pm

    A ‘Cakewrecks’ staple of a misunderstood phone instruction jumps the fence.

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  26. LilPorkchop
    November 29, 2010 at 3:13 pm

    Oh Lord take me downtown, I’m just lookin’ for some trush~~

    Oh, wait…

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  27. aroseisarose
    November 29, 2010 at 3:23 pm
  28. aroseisarose
    November 29, 2010 at 3:26 pm

    Also…I WANT those flasks. Even if I’ve nothing to put in them. :-)

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  29. Buzzkill Crying Glitter Eagle
    November 29, 2010 at 4:15 pm

    Trash Jesus?

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  30. trousers rolled
    November 29, 2010 at 4:29 pm

    Drink shine and flash Jesush?

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  31. Badger
    November 29, 2010 at 5:12 pm

    #14: See, now I was thinking more along the lines of ‘truss’ as in tying someone up. So I’m left wondering exactly how trussing up Jesus could keep you calm. Burn off nervous energy? Distract you from the falling bombs?

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  32. invaderhorizongreen
    November 29, 2010 at 6:02 pm

    ok when i first looked at it i thought it said tush and now i need brain bleach

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  33. arlaxx
    November 29, 2010 at 8:29 pm

    Sean Connery has an Etsy shop?

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

  34. Flair_A_Faucet
    November 29, 2010 at 8:30 pm

    They made this poster after getting into the wedding wine at Cana. That explains not only the slurring, but the entire Kindergarten-like proportions.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  35. purple_peacock
    November 30, 2010 at 12:30 am

    I read ‘keep calm and truss Jesus’. Now, do I have any left-over non-Thanksgiving turkey to tie up and giggle hysterically over?

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  36. rawrthedinosaur
    November 30, 2010 at 5:09 am

    I trushed Jesus once. The police told me that I didn’t put my pants back on, I’d get arrested.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  37. jupiterjenny
    November 30, 2010 at 5:32 am

    So is new printings of old ass posters vintage???
    Posters that has so obviously been mocked up (poorly) in photoshop….

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  38. Nahhh
    November 30, 2010 at 6:25 am

    From the seller’s Bio:
    ”l photos are sold unmated and unframed.I also have the following Esty shops…[etc.]”

    It makes my OCD burn.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  39. Jea
    November 30, 2010 at 10:15 am

    keepcalmshop.etsy.com does it right.
    Her shop just reeks of laziness. I wouldn’t trust the quality of her posters at all.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  40. Jea
    November 30, 2010 at 10:21 am

    HIS shop, my bad.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  41. vimsickle
    December 1, 2010 at 3:21 pm

    Whereas this poster is supposed to raise morale under the threat of an impending invasion of drunks.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

Leave a Reply