UNEASY LIES THE HEAD THAT WEARS THE CLOWN
- Submitted by Laura
From shophistrunks.com:
Heartbreak Clown Thong Outfit
$15.00
“Candyman’s Heartbreak Clown Costume features a pair of underwear that is best described as a cross between a cheeky brief and a thong. The back of the underwear features more material than is typically associated with a thong, but not enough to be a brief. Features suspenders and a large bow tie to go along with the clown face motif featured on the pouch of the brief.”
Based on feedback from our customers, Candyman sizes run small. You may want to order one size larger.
November 18, 2010 at 1:33 pm
Honk Honk!
November 18, 2010 at 1:36 pm
Never take candy from a clown masquerading as beefcake.
Buns, maybe.
But props to Mr. cheeky for keeping a ‘straight’ face .
November 18, 2010 at 1:38 pm
Look how little the nose is…Is all his junk suposed to fit in that little nose?
November 18, 2010 at 1:42 pm
Where was my NSFW? Yikes. I am glad everyone has left the office.
Somewhere, Sammy Davis Jr. spins in his grave. “‘Cos the Candyman can”
November 18, 2010 at 1:44 pm
Also, why I am hungry for Rice Krispies now?
November 18, 2010 at 1:45 pm
This thing is f-cking hideous but I would still bang the hell out of man wearing it. I guess that’s how you know you’re REALLY hot.
November 18, 2010 at 1:45 pm
i can’t think of a single instance when wearing this won’t result in a restraining order
…and not the fun kind either.
the most disturbing part to me is “based on feedback from our customers….
November 18, 2010 at 1:46 pm
“out of the man”, I mean. And that’s assuming he likes women which I am pretty sure he doesn’t.
November 18, 2010 at 1:46 pm
Oh, Candyman customer feedback claims they run small, do they? Why am I picturing John Wayne Gacy as having logged in?
November 18, 2010 at 1:47 pm
I hadn’t heard that spandex had been legalized.
November 18, 2010 at 1:49 pm
@ WhyLikeThis-I can think of a few instances but would rather not.
November 18, 2010 at 1:51 pm
Why do I have an overwhelming urge to suck on an Atomic Fireball right now?
November 18, 2010 at 1:51 pm
it DOES take a lot of balls to wear that.
unfortunately, as has already been pointed out, they’d never fit into that nose…
November 18, 2010 at 1:52 pm
I don’t get the heartbreak part….unless it’s the way the recipient of this monstrosity would feel upon opening their gift.
November 18, 2010 at 1:53 pm
Oh, please, noooo.
My Eyes.
They burn.
November 18, 2010 at 1:53 pm
@ #11 Hamoza: Do not tell me what they are!!!
i mean EVER!
November 18, 2010 at 1:55 pm
@Why-you have my word, *never*
November 18, 2010 at 1:59 pm
My 21 year old daughter has a fear and loathing of clowns.
Somehow if I hired this guy for her bachelorette party, I don’t think it would do much to appease that phobia and hate.
November 18, 2010 at 2:04 pm
Am I supposed to laugh at his package? Or run from it?
November 18, 2010 at 2:04 pm
Want some candy little girl???
November 18, 2010 at 2:04 pm
. . .yeah, clowns are still scary.
Possibly scarier now, because I’m pondering what sort of person would be attracted to this getup.
November 18, 2010 at 2:06 pm
I would buy it if the model was included.
November 18, 2010 at 2:07 pm
Is it just me or does this guy look like a cross between BSG characters Sam Anders and Chief Tyrol?
November 18, 2010 at 2:08 pm
The model IS kinda’ pretty if that’s your thing , but honestly , I’d never be able to look at him w/o thinking ‘honk honk’ thanks to the brilliant comment @ # 1 qwertygirl
November 18, 2010 at 2:11 pm
His buttcheeks are totally airbrushed.
What does that say about me–that airbrushing was the first thing I though of?
November 18, 2010 at 2:11 pm
…makes me miss Sammy Davis Jr so much.
“the Candyman can” well not always – but he’ll give it the old “college try”
November 18, 2010 at 2:12 pm
Is it just me, but does the look on his face say, “How can I be this hot and my life suck this badly?”
November 18, 2010 at 2:13 pm
Give the gift that says, “I think your genitals are a joke.”
November 18, 2010 at 2:14 pm
#24 His buttcheeks are totally airbrushed.
No, but he should have kept shaving…
November 18, 2010 at 2:15 pm
Wear this get up & expect seduction/arousal-Dumbo.
November 18, 2010 at 2:18 pm
Well, it is only $15-why do I think if it was for sale in many Etsy shops it would be $150.00?
November 18, 2010 at 2:21 pm
Vanity sizing for the clown banana-hammock wearer market?
…Well, yeah, I guess that makes sense…
November 18, 2010 at 2:23 pm
Candy, man, how about a big Snickers?
November 18, 2010 at 2:23 pm
I would totally watch “Dancing with the Stars” if Maksim wore this doing the foxtrot to the “Candyman”.
November 18, 2010 at 2:24 pm
That black-and-white giant bow tie isn’t laying right, but what can you expect for $15?
November 18, 2010 at 2:27 pm
The coverage of bad sexy Halloween costumes begins earlier and earlier! Too bad that costume doesn’t give him more coverage!
November 18, 2010 at 2:29 pm
Thanksgiving Conversation at Heartbreak Clown’s parents’ house:
“What’s Landon doing these days? He was always such a nice-looking young man.”
“Oh, he’s modeling for catalogs. We’re ever so proud.”
“Goodness! Do you have a copy we could look at?
“Hm. Dear. I can’t seem to remember where I put that (mutter) catalog.”
November 18, 2010 at 2:29 pm
This does not help my clown phobia. Not one bit.
November 18, 2010 at 2:33 pm
*sniff* I guess they lied about the whole size of the shoes thing….
November 18, 2010 at 2:33 pm
Of all the things in this to use the Blur tool on… they photoshopped his ass. THAT WAS NOT THE PART THAT NEEDED BLUR USED.
November 18, 2010 at 2:39 pm
I commend the model for keeping a straight face in this get-up. A true pro.
November 18, 2010 at 2:45 pm
John Gacy crossed with Dean Corll on a Chippendale model … that’s creepy on so many levels.
November 18, 2010 at 2:49 pm
Airbrushed or not, that’s one nice ass. The costume? Not so much!
November 18, 2010 at 2:51 pm
Yeah, feedback from customers indicate sizes run small. That’s like the guy in the 7-11 requesting “Magnums” from the 19 year-old girl behind the counter. The regular sized ones “run small” and he needs a bigger skin to stuff his sausage into.
November 18, 2010 at 2:57 pm
“Honey, tell me honestly…does this outfit make my penis look funny?”
November 18, 2010 at 3:16 pm
#39 Nico – the model actually had to borrow the Straight face from someone else
November 18, 2010 at 3:18 pm
The model has so much moose in his hair he should be called Bullwinkle
November 18, 2010 at 3:22 pm
Cant sleep…. Clown will…
November 18, 2010 at 3:40 pm
For some reason every time I look at this I hear Aqua’s Lollipop in my head. And not in a good way.
November 18, 2010 at 3:51 pm
I don’t really want to think about the sort of liquids that any of these flowers might spit.
November 18, 2010 at 3:52 pm
did anyone see this and think of Steven kings IT in a really freaky perverted way?
November 18, 2010 at 3:54 pm
The first thought I had at the rear shot is “Thank God it’s not Howard Stern.” Gah. Obviously my brain is beyond hope *or* bleach.
November 18, 2010 at 4:24 pm
I understand everything about this outfit except why it has suspenders.
November 18, 2010 at 4:25 pm
The more I look at it the more variations of this costume I imagine. I think it’s the first time I’ve ever turned on by Carharrt colors and logo’d suspenders.
November 18, 2010 at 4:45 pm
#44 WhyLikeThis – you totally got there ahead of me.
November 18, 2010 at 4:46 pm
that dude is so hot looking, you can almost ignore the outfit.
Almost.
I also think I know one or 2 people who might actually wear this. In public. If I loan them my balaclava.
November 18, 2010 at 4:47 pm
Great. There’s an XL, 38-40. That means no one would ever see that ugly clown face because a huge gut would hang over it.
November 18, 2010 at 5:05 pm
Bubblemonkey… sad to say that’s the first thing I noticed too. And I’m a serious Bozo-phobe!!
November 18, 2010 at 5:06 pm
#49 – Handgrips.
November 18, 2010 at 5:22 pm
you know… the outfit is ridiculous, but MY GOODNESS… he’s very… well shaped.
Buns anyone?
November 18, 2010 at 5:52 pm
yeah, that’s scary and all but what about this: http://cache0.bigcartel.com/product_images/27499405/kmando1.png
WTF? “Three separate compartments to hold all your parts gently in place.”
November 18, 2010 at 6:15 pm
@ desireebyrd — Speaking of buns, check out these undies from that same website:
http://www.shophistrunks.com/category/timoteo
This website is hilarious.
And, who knew you could do this with a mitten?
http://www.shophistrunks.com/product/kmando-strapless-pouch-4-colors
November 18, 2010 at 6:50 pm
I just came here to say I laughed so hard at Daisyj’s comment I think I sprained something.
November 18, 2010 at 8:31 pm
Next week they will be unveiling the “Pinocchio” model
November 18, 2010 at 9:45 pm
Of course his buns are Photoshopped! They had to hide the tattoo that says “Spank me, Mama!”
You don’t see it??
November 18, 2010 at 10:03 pm
No, Daddy, not the clown pants again!!
YIKES!!
November 19, 2010 at 12:02 am
I’m pretty sure that padded bowtie is meant to be used as knee rests.
November 19, 2010 at 1:38 am
RE: #61 Homstar
I give that “mitten” two, uh, I mean one thumb up!
November 19, 2010 at 2:06 am
What really disturbs me is that my first thought was ‘why has Rudolph painted his face white like a geisha?’…
November 19, 2010 at 2:12 am
hubba hubba
I see my love of fit guys trumps my fear of clowns. WOOP!
November 19, 2010 at 2:17 am
Freaking Christ, that man is hot. I would crawl through a barrel of broken glass just to touch his abs with one fingertip for one second. And *he* doesn’t make it look sexy!!
November 19, 2010 at 2:44 am
I do have to admit that I wouldn’t turn him down if he showed up on my doorstep naked. Mind you, if he showed up wearing that outfit, I’d call 911 and get out my rifle.
As for sizing-maybe he’s a grower?
November 19, 2010 at 6:02 am
In terms of getting more bang for your buck, all that atrocity for $15 is really a steal.
November 19, 2010 at 6:12 am
I don’t know. He’s very fine and all, but the outfit reminds me of the carnival game where you try to fill up the clown head with liquid to make it expand
November 19, 2010 at 7:23 am
They have multiple customer feedback??
November 19, 2010 at 7:30 am
I’m not a Sammy Davis, Jr., fan so I’m not familiar with his Candy Man song, but in blues-land “candyman” usually means a drug dealer. (I knew this by the time I was six, which would probably get my parents arrested in this day and age.)
Is this what you see when you see when you get too involved with the candyman?
November 19, 2010 at 7:51 am
Is he wearing a pussy bow?
November 19, 2010 at 7:56 am
“He’s just a little brought down, because, when you knocked -he thought you were the Candyman”
November 19, 2010 at 8:53 am
I just… don’t …. know where his weiner is
November 19, 2010 at 8:54 am
@ #75 Rocky Horror comments rule the Regretsy
November 19, 2010 at 11:18 am
^ oh oops dude I been hittin the wheelchair weed with window Jesus I meant #75
November 19, 2010 at 11:18 am
AH FUCK #77 FUCK MY LIFE
November 20, 2010 at 10:04 am
Why is it that the first thing I thought when I saw this was “his nipples are especially well defined” and THEN I looked at the outfit?
Also, Craftgasm #22…your BSG comment is both (1) accurate and (2) completely horrifying
November 26, 2010 at 10:05 pm
I found my boyfriend’s Christmas present!
December 20, 2010 at 7:06 pm
I actually bought this before I read the comments. So, I’ll keep y’all updated on how it fits.
January 16, 2011 at 12:55 pm
The PERFECT outfit for shopping at Walmart!
August 9, 2011 at 11:03 am
I want to buy this…although I enjoyed browsing the site…LOL
I never found this item. Anyone else have any luck?