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Holy Smokes

Let him who is without sin roll the first bone.

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57 comments on Holy Smokes

  1. thewhiterabbitaz
    November 17, 2010 at 4:37 pm

    Didn’t that band OPM write a song about this back in the 90′s?

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  2. waningestrogen
    November 17, 2010 at 4:37 pm

    What if God smoked cannabis?

    Thumb up Thumb down +97

  3. hotdogs
    November 17, 2010 at 4:38 pm

    BOOYAH can’t wait to pick up my kid from catholic school. Goin on the minivan.

    Thumb up Thumb down +87

  4. thewhiterabbitaz
    November 17, 2010 at 4:39 pm

    I remember! It was called “Heaven is a Halfpipe.”

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  5. daisyj
    November 17, 2010 at 4:40 pm

    Something tells me the loaves and fishes aren’t going to go nearly as far this time around.

    Thumb up Thumb down +201

  6. trousers rolled
    November 17, 2010 at 4:40 pm

    Would it be disrespectful to satisfy your munchies with the body of Christ?

    Thumb up Thumb down +62

  7. BettyMachete
    November 17, 2010 at 4:44 pm

    Jesus, not sure I wanna drink the wine from that chalice…

    Thumb up Thumb down +19

  8. sugartits
    November 17, 2010 at 4:46 pm

    hi Jesus, is that a HUGE bong or are you just happy to see me? (oh yeh, going to hell)

    Thumb up Thumb down +23

  9. invaderhorizongreen
    November 17, 2010 at 4:48 pm

    is this their crazy idea of how Jesus ascended into heaven ?

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  10. pplrdum
    November 17, 2010 at 4:49 pm

    Wait…is that Jesus or Ted Nugent at a toga party??

    Thumb up Thumb down +24

  11. hamoza
    November 17, 2010 at 4:50 pm

    Jesus, Jesus is everywhere you look – the use of his image is a chronic obsession.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  12. WhyLikeThis
    November 17, 2010 at 4:50 pm

    you know suddenly all those scriptural inconsistancies make sense

    (also going to hell)

    Thumb up Thumb down +63

  13. artimus
    November 17, 2010 at 4:52 pm

    If this sells, it will officially prove my theory that you can make money out of ANYTHING as long as you put Jesus on it. 9/11 and Barack Obama to a lesser extent.

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  14. hamoza
    November 17, 2010 at 4:55 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -5

  15. TooManyCookbooks
    November 17, 2010 at 4:58 pm

    Hey, no more wine and wafers! Now it’s soda and Little Debbie snack cakes. Best communion *ever*.

    Thumb up Thumb down +56

  16. butts lol
    November 17, 2010 at 5:03 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -12

  17. WhyLikeThis
    November 17, 2010 at 5:06 pm

    an excerpt from the actual last supper speech:
    “so… like, can we get some more wine over here? thanks. you know what wine reminds me of? blood. yeah blood, right? no no no shut up a minute and lissen, Thomas. we all got blood right? so when you’re drinking this it’s kinda like you’re drinking from me. dudes… i totally want you to remember that, cool? Matthew? you writing that down? awesome! you too Luke? Yeah, you guys are like my crew! i love you! someone tell Judas to stop Bogarting that thing and pass it this way. Kickass! this Aramathean shit is off the hook!”

    Thumb up Thumb down +148

  18. rumi monger
    November 17, 2010 at 5:09 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -12

  19. hamoza
    November 17, 2010 at 5:09 pm

    More likely they were smoking hashish , but why nit-pik?

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  20. Holden Back
    November 17, 2010 at 5:25 pm

    If only it were a little more refined around the mouthparts. It’s like a moustache drawn on a campaign poster.

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

  21. Kesra
    November 17, 2010 at 5:45 pm

    Since it’s Jesus, do you still have to play X box with him for a half hour to not be rude when smoking a bowl with him?

    Thumb up Thumb down +25

  22. waningestrogen
    November 17, 2010 at 6:04 pm

    #17 whylikethis
    comment of the day

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  23. razberries
    November 17, 2010 at 6:06 pm

    one sold already! and another is listed…that is the only item in the shop, though. whatta tease. was hoping to see a whole bunch of funny stuff. but it looks like they just opened…

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  24. qwertygirl
    November 17, 2010 at 6:34 pm

    “for God so loved the World that he also gave his only begotten Daughter’ Mary Jane 4:20”

    Thumb up Thumb down +36

  25. Patty got abducted by a Steampunk Alien
    November 17, 2010 at 6:35 pm

    Oh, where was this piece of beauty when we had seriously frightening Jesus-freaks living next door?

    The wife came over to my house and told me my then-7-year-old son was scaring her 5 year old daughter by talking in the “Mojo Jo-Jo” voice from the Powerpuff Girls cartoon. While in OUR yard. With her daughter on THEIR porch.

    This beauty on my front door would have sent her to the emergency room.

    My son is now almost 19 and her daughter is homeschooled because “her promiscuity interfering with her schoolwork”.

    Thumb up Thumb down +49

  26. suzyactiondoll
    November 17, 2010 at 6:40 pm

    Because Jesus sits at the right hand of the father, he’d better pass that dutchie to the left or he and his father will have to settle it outsi…oh man have you really ever looked at your hands…I mean not everyone has the stigmata, but whoa.

    Thumb up Thumb down +34

  27. Vile & Evil Debbie Downer
    November 17, 2010 at 7:06 pm

    Now THAT’S a Buddy Jesus.

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  28. HelenaHandbasket
    November 17, 2010 at 7:10 pm

    Poor Jesus must have glaucoma.

    Thumb up Thumb down +17

  29. Nico
    November 17, 2010 at 7:24 pm

    Eh. I’ve seen this before. Call me when he’s got a bong smoking a Savior.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  30. captaincavegirl
    November 17, 2010 at 7:28 pm

    So racist. Of course it’s White Jesus with a bong. How do you make an alchemy request? I want “authentic” Jesus with a Black & Mild.

    Thumb up Thumb down +22

  31. KibblesNBits
    November 17, 2010 at 7:44 pm

    “What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his bowl.”

    Thumb up Thumb down +27

  32. Grot – The Ghost of Reginald I Perrin
    November 17, 2010 at 8:07 pm

    The forgotten miracle: Jesus turning a bag full of seeds and two ripped zigzags into a Grateful Dead concert.

    Thumb up Thumb down +51

  33. WhyLikeThis
    November 17, 2010 at 8:11 pm

    50 nerd points to anyone who recognizes where the following exchange comes from:

    Kryten: With respect sir, you think Jesus was a hippie.
    Rimmer: Well, he was. He had long hair and he didn’t have a job. What more do you want?

    Thumb up Thumb down +34

  34. ShuffleCara
    November 17, 2010 at 8:24 pm

    Take this and smoke for it is my… favorite!

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  35. jupiterjenny
    November 17, 2010 at 8:33 pm

    I LEARNED IT FROM YOU DAD— I LEARNED IT FROM YOU!!!!

    Thumb up Thumb down +27

  36. hamoza
    November 17, 2010 at 8:37 pm

    @ whyLikeThis – nerd up.

    Red Dwarf.

    Not.Another.Word.

    Thumb up Thumb down +16

  37. SlySevSteph
    November 17, 2010 at 8:42 pm

    Maybe I’ve been listening to too many oldies, but this makes me want to do a mash-up of Proud Mary and Spirit in the Sky.

    Talk about a Holy Roller!

    Thumb up Thumb down +18

  38. knittin-kitten
    November 17, 2010 at 8:48 pm

    Darn it Hamoza you beat me too it!

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  39. TheSheep
    November 17, 2010 at 9:19 pm

    Can I have 50 nerd points too?!!

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  40. pdxmomazon
    November 17, 2010 at 10:03 pm

    Yeah, but we all know that Jesus would use a vaporizer.

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  41. Sid Spacegoat
    November 18, 2010 at 1:09 am

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -5

  42. Sid Spacegoat
    November 18, 2010 at 1:12 am

    In Australia, this would count as bogan iconography.
    http://thingsboganslike.com/

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  43. themiki
    November 18, 2010 at 1:19 am

    **In creepy Matthew McConaughey voice** Have you accepted Jesus as your lord and savior? It’d be a whole lot cooler if you did.

    Thumb up Thumb down +15

  44. Snargasm
    November 18, 2010 at 2:43 am

    It must help with that post-crucification arthritis and muscle pain.

    Thumb up Thumb down +16

  45. Buzzkill Crying Glitter Eagle
    November 18, 2010 at 4:55 am

    If he were smoking from a hookah, I’d buy it.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  46. zepp0marks
    November 18, 2010 at 7:40 am

    I hope he doesn’t turn the bong water into wine.

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

  47. Sammy the Goose
    November 18, 2010 at 8:13 am

    Looks like sweet Jesus is one toke over the line.

    Thumb up Thumb down +15

  48. CynicalKnight
    November 18, 2010 at 8:44 am

    I just bought one.

    Yay, Regretsy!

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  49. Stretch65: a Steampunk Dildomixologist
    November 18, 2010 at 10:30 am

    What if God smoked Cannabis
    Rolled a joint like one of us
    Had a bong full of Cannabis
    All the world is God’s home
    and all the Weed he smokes is HOMEGROWN

    Thumb up Thumb down +15

  50. WhyLikeThis
    November 18, 2010 at 11:00 am

    nerd points for everybody!

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  51. Sammy the Goose
    November 18, 2010 at 11:39 am

    #49 – “Do you think he had a buzz, when he made the platypus?”

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  52. Stretch65: a Steampunk Dildomixologist
    November 18, 2010 at 12:50 pm

    # 51 Sammy yes! The platypus and aardvark are God’s whimbsicle fuckery… btw

    “Does anyone here have an aardvark”

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  53. Tirabaralla
    November 18, 2010 at 2:02 pm

    Poor Lord…

    Thumb up Thumb down -2

  54. PussDaddy
    November 19, 2010 at 2:28 pm

    Hahaha. I like it.

    Thumb up Thumb down -1

  55. Lauren
    November 26, 2010 at 2:25 pm
  56. lillianna_13
    March 31, 2011 at 12:33 pm

    If Jesus came down from Heaven this very minute and smoked a bong with me I would totally convert back to Christianity,my body hurts so much right this second I wish I could just curl into a ball. Now Jesus, no fair you need to share, you’re supposed to come back, why not now in my most desperate hour?

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  57. Hempco
    September 27, 2011 at 8:46 pm

    We have an update, we successfully sold a couple of these as a poster and now we found some clear stuff – so we made a clear version to ‘let the light shine through the lord’ on your window Thanks Regretsy!

    http://www.etsy.com/listing/82709065/bong-smoking-jesus-stain-glass-window

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

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