Holiday Regrets
A group of lovely and talented People have opened an Etsy store called Holiday Regrets. Everything there is handmade by Regretsy fans, and all proceeds benefit our Charity Fund.
I thought this was such a great idea, that I decided to make a few things myself. So at around 5:00 today, three of my pieces will be added to the inventory. And let me tell you, they suck out loud.
Please enjoy this sneak peek of one of my creations. I call it, Deranged Cardinals on a Snowy Pile of Craft.
Fantastic, isn’t it? I was going to put more stuff on it, but I burned every one of my fingers with the glue gun and I had to take a break.
Wired into the snow drift is an actual fairy wand (stick), covered with googly-eyed birds. Battery operated holiday lights adorn the top to give it that understated elegance, and the whole thing shits glitter everywhere. Lucky you!
My white wrap is not included in the sale. If you want the whole look, you’ll have to buy your own mattress pad.
These horrors and more await you at the Holiday Regrets store; the perfect place to buy a gift for someone you dislike.
If you’d like to donate a handmade item to the store, visit the Holiday Regrets Facebook page for information.
November 15, 2010 at 3:52 pm
<3
November 15, 2010 at 3:55 pm
That thing is a cardinal sin ! Ho ho ho.
November 15, 2010 at 4:01 pm
I feel your pain, sister. I burn my fingers on the fucking menorah every year. And for what? A new pair of tube socks and a couples of dimes? Festival of Lights, my ass!
November 15, 2010 at 4:02 pm
no matter what is sitting on top of your head, you make it look classy, woman!
November 15, 2010 at 4:04 pm
Oh god, I love the hat! I hate glue guns for the same reason, as well as the glue “threads’ they leave all over. I use Tacky Glue as much as possible on craft projects.
Now I’m going back to the shop. That Santa & Mrs. Claus candle really wants to come home with me…
November 15, 2010 at 4:07 pm
You had me at googly-eyed birds HK………………..
November 15, 2010 at 4:18 pm
I’ve been invited to a holiday party and the theme is “festive”. This hat would be so perfect…
November 15, 2010 at 4:18 pm
Fairy wads are used multipurpose – who knew
November 15, 2010 at 4:20 pm
Oops fairy WANDS – Find a fairy wad – and you’ll find a very satisfied fairy close by
November 15, 2010 at 4:45 pm
A hat made of illuminted snowman shit with deranged birds on it: this is awesomesauce and I would totally wear it!
November 15, 2010 at 5:03 pm
The holidays are pretty crappy anyway, why not make it fun!
November 15, 2010 at 5:22 pm
I totally snorted my ice tea on this one. No one rocks a mattress pad like you, HK!!
November 15, 2010 at 5:31 pm
Hell yes. Why risk a holiday house fire with a plain old tree when you can have THIS kind of flame-catching potential? Glittery, glittery fire.
November 15, 2010 at 5:58 pm
This luscious chapeau looks like a centerpiece my mother made some holiday seasons ago; except she upcycled materials, so the colors were mauve, mustard, and olive.
November 15, 2010 at 6:07 pm
I think a holiday scented mattress pad would be a big seller. Suggested scents
‘Fear and Loathing’
‘Gluttony For Men’
‘Gluttony For Women’
‘Turkey Farts’
November 15, 2010 at 7:05 pm
I am in love with ‘illuminated branch on head’ concept. THE POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS.
November 15, 2010 at 7:11 pm
I like the Snowglam Fascinator, too!
November 15, 2010 at 7:27 pm
@#^ – Knittin-Kitten – She had me at “it lights up.”
November 15, 2010 at 7:27 pm
@#6 – Knittin-Kitten – She had me at “it lights up.”
November 15, 2010 at 7:31 pm
hysterical laughter ensued when I saw the word “abortion” tucked into your whimsicle hat description! brilliant idea, I know a few people who could use a vampire doll print…
November 16, 2010 at 4:51 am
I wanted to thank you for almost giving me a reason to call out of work after choking on my breakfast this morning. This hat is just… brilliant. I’m sensing a new Winter fashion line!
November 16, 2010 at 8:00 am
Eeeeeexcellent! I see April phase two has started. Phase one was to create Regretsy, win over fans and even get respect from the simpleton admins.
Phase two is to infiltrate the Matrix known as Etsy and create a shop.
I’m looking forward for phase four! I can almost hear the four horsemen on their death gallop!
Hmm, Hmm, Hmm, HA, HA, HA! MUAH, HA HA HA HA!!! (Cue thunder and lightning)
November 16, 2010 at 8:01 am
Eh shit I skipped a phase.
November 16, 2010 at 8:18 am
Much safer than the prototypes using lights from the 70′s which tended to result in flaming cardinals with the fresh scent of melting plastic.
November 16, 2010 at 8:27 am
Holy cow. It shits glitter. I should be so lucky.
The understated lights are a nice touch, but I think that the googly eyed birds give it a nice deranged-batshit touch. Kind of “The Birds” meet “Frosty the Snowman,” and they all crap glitter and lights in an eccstatic bursting of holiday whimsy and fuckery. It’s the accessory you need to wear when you want to say: “I don’t care what belief system you adhere to, I shit glitter on you all!!!”
Whew. I want it.
November 16, 2010 at 8:38 am
I just visited the store and hand to turn it off. I’m at work and didn’t want to explain boobs in the cornucopia.
November 16, 2010 at 9:10 am
I love it. It’s not craptastic enough for regretsy. I may have to buy it if it’s still for sale.
November 16, 2010 at 9:24 am
Well, that hat is sold, of course, but I snagged some other really nice stuff. Great holiday shopping place!
November 16, 2010 at 10:00 am
@ #22: Phase three is a diabolical secret.
November 16, 2010 at 10:07 am
I am a bit disappointed there are no exposed genitalia. This is Etsy after all.
November 16, 2010 at 11:59 am
My cat needs the cat toy!
November 16, 2010 at 2:50 pm
Regretsy goodies for sale on Etsy! This is extreme holiday fuckery with jingle bells on!!!
November 16, 2010 at 5:52 pm
“April WInchell in a Cardinal Hat” is the new “Jesus Christ on a Pogo Stick.”
November 16, 2010 at 6:09 pm
Killer, I have to say I’m a little bit disappointed…You did the hat, but didn’t model it with the looking-up-surprised-at-the-hat-on-your-own-head pose!
What’s up with that? Doesn’t it need that to be a true Regretsy shot?
It was too heavy to tilt my head back that far. – HK
November 17, 2010 at 1:20 am
see… i missed this post before, so, reading from the top of the page, Killer, I was more disappointed not to see you sporting an overwashed multi-way and a hefty pair of bridget joneses!!
on the holiday regrets store… i’m so excited i just weed a little
November 17, 2010 at 1:25 am
also… i NEED the teabag necklace! wonder what the shipping would cost me… hmmmm.
November 17, 2010 at 10:34 am
I just bought the “Take Another Little Piece Of My Heart” print, and eyeballing the vampire doll print. The “Heart” one is SO going up in the bathroom, at eye level. The vampire doll one, well, I’m thinking of putting it in my 2 year old son’s room…
November 17, 2010 at 3:21 pm
did this hat already sell?! Its amazing and it must adorn my head for the holidays!!
November 18, 2010 at 9:28 pm
Ahaha… i actually almost suggested the michael Jackson ornaments the other day until i read who they were by and was like “… o.O oh… nvm” either way, very nice
i see a few future christmas presents on there, muahaha.
November 19, 2010 at 6:48 am
The second picture of you popped off the page at me. In a “That is a kind of scary clown” kind of way. I want to print it off and hang it in the office. That way when my eyes wonder off what I’m writing you can scare me back to work….
/ramble
November 22, 2010 at 12:30 pm
I CANNOT express in words how much I want that hat.
November 25, 2010 at 9:12 pm
Namaste Bitches!
[IMG]http://i73.photobucket.com/albums/i212/missmarchhare/derp.jpg[/IMG]
November 25, 2010 at 9:13 pm
Double Namaste Bitches!
http://i73.photobucket.com/albums/i212/missmarchhare/derp.jpg
December 10, 2010 at 2:18 am
I want that cardinal hat. It’s just the sort of ridiculously silly thing that’d be perfect for family gatherings.
Want! Want!