Next year she should get him a Zefram Cockring.
Is the ‘surprise’ for him the Star Trek part or the butt plug part?
This is in total violation of my prime directive.
“Plug me up Scotty!”
(Click to enlarge) Noooo!
These things can irritate your roddenberrys.
“to boldly go where no man has gone before” is a little wordy dontcha think?
i mean, unless the crafter is able to write on rice and the butt plug comes with a magnifying glass.
materials matter, especially in the rectal area.
This is why I hate surprises….
Number 1….Make it so.
Or actually, in this case, Number 2 seems more appropriate.
Resistance is futile…
with lube and heavy breathing, anything is possible.
When was the last time you’ve seen Trekkies get laid?
If Trekkies weren’t getting laid, I wouldn’t be here.
I just know there’s a joke in here somewhere about the Enterprise circling Uranus looking for Klingons.
I have GOT to learn to stop reading Regretsy at lunchtime.
*raises one eyebrow* I find this highly illogical.
I am also of the opinion that the material matters. And am going to be vary wary when visiting my friends who are hard core Star Trek fans from now on.
Zefram Cockring–Lol! That deserves a rimshot.
And you thought tribbles were trouble.
“We cannae push ‘er any harder, Captain, she’ll blow”
“Materials: rubber, latex, whatever you use”
I use stained glass. How’s that for a surprise?
his next surprise will require a Tribble to be removed from his rectum.
Star Trek butt plugs. Ferengi you’re feeling horny.
#10 you clearly haven’t been to an SF con
Just be sure to wash all the Klingons off when you’re through with it.
I seem to remember an episode wherein the Enterprise got sucked into a black hole.
I’m becoming alarmed at the number of requests for buttplugs, especially as Christmas gifts…
You’re ordering a butt plug…are you SURE no man’s gone there before?
You know, this doesn’t even phase me. #PUN!
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“Uh, gee thanks, Honey. Why is it shaped like the Enterprise?”
“So it can circle Uranus looking for Klingons!”
She’s confused Star Trek nerd with Star Trek turd.
So the people of Charlotte, Mich have nothing better to do in the winter than shove memorabilia up their asses?
Ahhhh, the universality of assholes.
Y’all covered this brilliantly , so there’s nothing
I can say to expand on it except lets hope this little number doesn’t go into the regift closet.
I never used to be afraid of Christmas.
Well, a butt plug does make it easier to take the Captain’s log.
Too bad Mr. Shatner didn’t employ one of these…
The original lyrics suddenly make more sense now:
Beyond the rim of the star-light
My love is wand’ring in star-flight
I know he’ll find in star-clustered reaches
Love, strange love a star woman teaches.
I know his journey ends never
His star trek will go on forever.
But tell him while he wanders his starry sea
Remember, remember me
Pics or it didn’t happen.
Really I don’t believe this crap. Literally, I want to see someone’s rear with a spaceship in it or I so do not believe this.
That someone would actually make this is crazy and it’s truly f’ed up if someone uses it.
Maybe she’s trying to kill her husband. She wants a butt plug, doesn’t care what it’s made of and only want’s to spend $25.00 on it but expects it to have that much detail. She’s asking for a China made lead filled butt bomb for sure.
Or maybe kill herself and end her life with some freak who wants spaceships sticking out of his women’s ass cheeks.
Really I just do not believe it. I’m kinda worked up here.
I’m set on “stunned”.
“How much is the phaser?”
“the phaser’s not for sale”
“Then why do you have it??”
“To WEED OUT TREKKIE SCUM LIKE YOU….GET OFF OF MY LAND!!!!!”
Regretsy: Literally, I want to see someone’s rear with a spaceship in it.
Whew-glad I’m not possibly on her Secret Santa list.
Regretsy, Vol. 2:
Chapter 1: Things That Are Not Steampunk
Chapter 2: Bad “Celebrity” Art
Chapter 3: WTF Alchemy Requests
Regretsy, Vol. 3: Butt Plugs
Both of ‘em sound like bestsellers!
“Launch the deep space probe, Mr. Sulu.”
I await the George Takei commercial.
“Sharp has added a fourth color to the standard butt-plug color scheme – yellow”
re# 25, I learned something new today- sex toys can be made in porcelain… or at least on Etsy … so I suppose a Starship Enterprise buttplug would be a freaking work of art it really existed… though $25 seems a little cheap…
“Jim – I’m a doctor – not a butt plug”
desired materials: dilithium crystal – gold pressed latinum
“Nature decays, but latinum lasts forever.” – 102nd Rule of Acquisition
I’m not really a trekkie. Did the Enterprise do a lot of moon landings?
Seriously, this has almost singlehandedly convinced me that primate evolution was a really bad idea. If it weren’t for indoor plumbing and sushi, i would be running away to join the lemurs right now
Prepare for ramming speed.
OK here’s a dumb question: is it for herself to wear*, to surprise her husband? Or is it for her husband to wear and REALLY get a surprise?
*(or whatever the accurate verb may be)
This has created a whole mess of mental images for which there isn’t enough brain bleach in the western hemisphere.
“Captain, there are Clingons on Uranus”!
The requestor would like the size to be fairly standard – I’d reccommend the Deep Space 9
Dammit, Jim, I’m a DOCTOR, not a proctologist….oh…!
@Mistletoe-I was wondering that same thing myself.
Either way, someone will be surprised.
Uuugh. The advertisement right next to this is for glazed freaking DONUTS. How confused am I right now?
Honestly, I’m about as Trektastically in love with Star Trek as they come without being born with an Enterprise-shaped birthmark on my butt, and there is NO way to top Zephram Cockring. I tried. Hats off, April.
#32, I’m glad to know there’s someone else out there who knows those lyrics.
Rats, the deadline to enter the NASA & Etsy Space Craft Contest was Nov. 2nd. This would have been a grand prize winner for sure.
is this all the rage now? first pokemon, now star trek.
furries and trekkies all come together on etsy
stocking stuffer butt stuffer
matter cannot exist in a black hole – but a butt plug can
—-William Ryker log entry SD 2528.07
This doesent surprise me at all Trekkie chicks are freaks when it comes to sex. Geeky chicks do things that most other women won’t do.
It’s the stuff they want to do with guys that can get scary, hence wanting to shove things up her mans ass.
#28…..consider our state unemployment rate. No, some Michiganders really don’t have anything better to do although most of them don’t quite take it THIS far.
these are some of the most hilarious comments I’ve read yet. I had to stop reading at work because I could not contain myself…
Regarding the request… $25.00 is not enough money to get me to break into my Micromachines Trek Spaceship collection. It’s Mint In Box…
hmmm…I’m not so sure the “..where no man has gone before” part of the inscription is really applicable here….
Nah, it’s perfectly straight to get fucked in the ass with a spaceship, as long as it’s by your wife.
“sky rockets in flight
#44-Can I go with you and live with the lemurs too?
This opens up an entirely new definition of “copyright violation.”
Do I spy a regretsy reader? http://www.etsy.com/alchemy/request.php?id=277585
@ #11 studiorose:
Thanks to your wicked sense of humour, I now need to wipe down my laptop – spewed coffee all over it.
I’m wondering if it should it face in, like it’s going to go explore the black hole; out, like it’s flying free after a narrow escape; or to the side, like it’s orbiting the moon.
What is it with people and novelty buttplugs this year? Either that fetish is growing in popularity, or I’ve been going to the wrong websites…
Can you just imagine the ER nurse’s reaction when this goes really wrong?
SET A COURSE!
this is fuggin brilliant I’m getting misty eyed
Thanks Regretsians! You’ve brightened up an otherwise really shitty Monday! Keep it coming.
and for just for two dollars more we shall toss in the butt plug hat as a bunus
I was absolutely sure that my daughter had written this until I saw the “Ship to” city.
do NOT want to know why you would know enough about your daughter’s sex-capades to think you recognized she may have written this one
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