“to boldly go where no man has gone before” is a little wordy dontcha think?
i mean, unless the crafter is able to write on rice and the butt plug comes with a magnifying glass.
also…
materials matter, especially in the rectal area.
*raises one eyebrow* I find this highly illogical.
I am also of the opinion that the material matters. And am going to be vary wary when visiting my friends who are hard core Star Trek fans from now on.
Ahhhh, the universality of assholes.
Y’all covered this brilliantly , so there’s nothing
I can say to expand on it except lets hope this little number doesn’t go into the regift closet.
The original lyrics suddenly make more sense now:
Beyond the rim of the star-light
My love is wand’ring in star-flight
I know he’ll find in star-clustered reaches
Love, strange love a star woman teaches.
I know his journey ends never
His star trek will go on forever.
But tell him while he wanders his starry sea
Remember, remember me
Really I don’t believe this crap. Literally, I want to see someone’s rear with a spaceship in it or I so do not believe this.
That someone would actually make this is crazy and it’s truly f’ed up if someone uses it.
Maybe she’s trying to kill her husband. She wants a butt plug, doesn’t care what it’s made of and only want’s to spend $25.00 on it but expects it to have that much detail. She’s asking for a China made lead filled butt bomb for sure.
Or maybe kill herself and end her life with some freak who wants spaceships sticking out of his women’s ass cheeks.
Really I just do not believe it. I’m kinda worked up here.
re# 25, I learned something new today- sex toys can be made in porcelain… or at least on Etsy … so I suppose a Starship Enterprise buttplug would be a freaking work of art it really existed… though $25 seems a little cheap…
Seriously, this has almost singlehandedly convinced me that primate evolution was a really bad idea. If it weren’t for indoor plumbing and sushi, i would be running away to join the lemurs right now
Uuugh. The advertisement right next to this is for glazed freaking DONUTS. How confused am I right now?
Honestly, I’m about as Trektastically in love with Star Trek as they come without being born with an Enterprise-shaped birthmark on my butt, and there is NO way to top Zephram Cockring. I tried. Hats off, April.
#28…..consider our state unemployment rate. No, some Michiganders really don’t have anything better to do although most of them don’t quite take it THIS far.
I’m wondering if it should it face in, like it’s going to go explore the black hole; out, like it’s flying free after a narrow escape; or to the side, like it’s orbiting the moon.
November 12, 2010 at 9:35 am
Is the ‘surprise’ for him the Star Trek part or the butt plug part?
November 12, 2010 at 9:36 am
This is in total violation of my prime directive.
November 12, 2010 at 9:37 am
“Plug me up Scotty!”
November 12, 2010 at 9:38 am
(Click to enlarge) Noooo!
November 12, 2010 at 9:39 am
These things can irritate your roddenberrys.
November 12, 2010 at 9:40 am
“to boldly go where no man has gone before” is a little wordy dontcha think?
i mean, unless the crafter is able to write on rice and the butt plug comes with a magnifying glass.
also…
materials matter, especially in the rectal area.
November 12, 2010 at 9:41 am
This is why I hate surprises….
November 12, 2010 at 9:43 am
Number 1….Make it so.
Or actually, in this case, Number 2 seems more appropriate.
November 12, 2010 at 9:46 am
Resistance is futile…
September 27, 2012 at 2:24 pm
with lube and heavy breathing, anything is possible.
November 12, 2010 at 9:48 am
When was the last time you’ve seen Trekkies get laid?
October 27, 2012 at 5:52 pm
If Trekkies weren’t getting laid, I wouldn’t be here.
November 12, 2010 at 9:48 am
I just know there’s a joke in here somewhere about the Enterprise circling Uranus looking for Klingons.
November 12, 2010 at 9:49 am
I have GOT to learn to stop reading Regretsy at lunchtime.
November 12, 2010 at 9:53 am
*raises one eyebrow* I find this highly illogical.
I am also of the opinion that the material matters. And am going to be vary wary when visiting my friends who are hard core Star Trek fans from now on.
November 12, 2010 at 9:53 am
Zefram Cockring–Lol! That deserves a rimshot.
http://instantrimshot.com/
November 12, 2010 at 9:53 am
And you thought tribbles were trouble.
November 12, 2010 at 9:53 am
“We cannae push ‘er any harder, Captain, she’ll blow”
November 12, 2010 at 9:54 am
“Materials: rubber, latex, whatever you use”
I use stained glass. How’s that for a surprise?
November 12, 2010 at 9:55 am
his next surprise will require a Tribble to be removed from his rectum.
November 12, 2010 at 9:55 am
Star Trek butt plugs. Ferengi you’re feeling horny.
November 12, 2010 at 9:56 am
#10 you clearly haven’t been to an SF con
November 12, 2010 at 9:59 am
Just be sure to wash all the Klingons off when you’re through with it.
November 12, 2010 at 10:00 am
I seem to remember an episode wherein the Enterprise got sucked into a black hole.
November 12, 2010 at 10:01 am
I’m becoming alarmed at the number of requests for buttplugs, especially as Christmas gifts…
November 12, 2010 at 10:01 am
You’re ordering a butt plug…are you SURE no man’s gone there before?
November 12, 2010 at 10:22 am
You know, this doesn’t even phase me. #PUN!
November 12, 2010 at 10:28 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
November 12, 2010 at 10:28 am
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November 12, 2010 at 10:29 am
So the people of Charlotte, Mich have nothing better to do in the winter than shove memorabilia up their asses?
November 12, 2010 at 10:35 am
Ahhhh, the universality of assholes.
Y’all covered this brilliantly , so there’s nothing
I can say to expand on it except lets hope this little number doesn’t go into the regift closet.
November 12, 2010 at 10:44 am
I never used to be afraid of Christmas.
November 12, 2010 at 10:46 am
Well, a butt plug does make it easier to take the Captain’s log.
November 12, 2010 at 10:50 am
Too bad Mr. Shatner didn’t employ one of these…
November 12, 2010 at 10:52 am
The original lyrics suddenly make more sense now:
Beyond the rim of the star-light
My love is wand’ring in star-flight
I know he’ll find in star-clustered reaches
Love, strange love a star woman teaches.
I know his journey ends never
His star trek will go on forever.
But tell him while he wanders his starry sea
Remember, remember me
November 12, 2010 at 10:54 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
November 12, 2010 at 10:56 am
I’m set on “stunned”.
November 12, 2010 at 11:02 am
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November 12, 2010 at 11:08 am
Regretsy: Literally, I want to see someone’s rear with a spaceship in it.
November 12, 2010 at 11:19 am
Whew-glad I’m not possibly on her Secret Santa list.
November 12, 2010 at 11:19 am
Regretsy, Vol. 2:
Chapter 1: Things That Are Not Steampunk
Chapter 2: Bad “Celebrity” Art
Chapter 3: WTF Alchemy Requests
(etc)
Regretsy, Vol. 3: Butt Plugs
Both of ‘em sound like bestsellers!
November 12, 2010 at 11:23 am
“Launch the deep space probe, Mr. Sulu.”
November 12, 2010 at 12:29 pm
I await the George Takei commercial.
“Sharp has added a fourth color to the standard butt-plug color scheme – yellow”
“Oh MY!!!”
November 12, 2010 at 12:40 pm
re# 25, I learned something new today- sex toys can be made in porcelain… or at least on Etsy … so I suppose a Starship Enterprise buttplug would be a freaking work of art it really existed… though $25 seems a little cheap…
November 12, 2010 at 12:42 pm
“Jim – I’m a doctor – not a butt plug”
desired materials: dilithium crystal – gold pressed latinum
“Nature decays, but latinum lasts forever.” – 102nd Rule of Acquisition
November 12, 2010 at 12:45 pm
I’m not really a trekkie. Did the Enterprise do a lot of moon landings?
November 12, 2010 at 12:49 pm
Seriously, this has almost singlehandedly convinced me that primate evolution was a really bad idea. If it weren’t for indoor plumbing and sushi, i would be running away to join the lemurs right now
November 12, 2010 at 1:04 pm
Prepare for ramming speed.
November 12, 2010 at 1:10 pm
OK here’s a dumb question: is it for herself to wear*, to surprise her husband? Or is it for her husband to wear and REALLY get a surprise?
*(or whatever the accurate verb may be)
This has created a whole mess of mental images for which there isn’t enough brain bleach in the western hemisphere.
November 12, 2010 at 1:12 pm
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November 12, 2010 at 1:27 pm
The requestor would like the size to be fairly standard – I’d reccommend the Deep Space 9
November 12, 2010 at 1:31 pm
Dammit, Jim, I’m a DOCTOR, not a proctologist….oh…!
November 12, 2010 at 1:37 pm
@Mistletoe-I was wondering that same thing myself.
Either way, someone will be surprised.
November 12, 2010 at 2:15 pm
Uuugh. The advertisement right next to this is for glazed freaking DONUTS. How confused am I right now?
Honestly, I’m about as Trektastically in love with Star Trek as they come without being born with an Enterprise-shaped birthmark on my butt, and there is NO way to top Zephram Cockring. I tried. Hats off, April.
November 12, 2010 at 2:59 pm
#32, I’m glad to know there’s someone else out there who knows those lyrics.
November 12, 2010 at 3:27 pm
Rats, the deadline to enter the NASA & Etsy Space Craft Contest was Nov. 2nd. This would have been a grand prize winner for sure.
November 12, 2010 at 3:27 pm
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November 12, 2010 at 3:48 pm
stocking stuffer butt stuffer
November 12, 2010 at 4:09 pm
matter cannot exist in a black hole – but a butt plug can
—-William Ryker log entry SD 2528.07
November 12, 2010 at 4:39 pm
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November 12, 2010 at 5:52 pm
#28…..consider our state unemployment rate. No, some Michiganders really don’t have anything better to do although most of them don’t quite take it THIS far.
November 12, 2010 at 6:04 pm
these are some of the most hilarious comments I’ve read yet. I had to stop reading at work because I could not contain myself…
Regarding the request… $25.00 is not enough money to get me to break into my Micromachines Trek Spaceship collection. It’s Mint In Box…
November 12, 2010 at 7:40 pm
hmmm…I’m not so sure the “..where no man has gone before” part of the inscription is really applicable here….
November 12, 2010 at 8:10 pm
Nah, it’s perfectly straight to get fucked in the ass with a spaceship, as long as it’s by your wife.
November 12, 2010 at 10:36 pm
“sky rockets in flight
afternoon delight!”
November 12, 2010 at 11:55 pm
#44-Can I go with you and live with the lemurs too?
November 13, 2010 at 1:02 am
This opens up an entirely new definition of “copyright violation.”
November 13, 2010 at 1:50 am
Do I spy a regretsy reader? http://www.etsy.com/alchemy/request.php?id=277585
November 13, 2010 at 5:43 am
@ #11 studiorose:
Thanks to your wicked sense of humour, I now need to wipe down my laptop – spewed coffee all over it.
November 13, 2010 at 7:21 am
I’m wondering if it should it face in, like it’s going to go explore the black hole; out, like it’s flying free after a narrow escape; or to the side, like it’s orbiting the moon.
November 13, 2010 at 9:57 am
What is it with people and novelty buttplugs this year? Either that fetish is growing in popularity, or I’ve been going to the wrong websites…
November 13, 2010 at 2:41 pm
Can you just imagine the ER nurse’s reaction when this goes really wrong?
November 13, 2010 at 2:47 pm
SET A COURSE!
this is fuggin brilliant I’m getting misty eyed
November 15, 2010 at 8:51 am
Thanks Regretsians! You’ve brightened up an otherwise really shitty Monday! Keep it coming.
November 16, 2010 at 2:53 pm
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November 17, 2010 at 3:53 am
O_O
November 17, 2010 at 7:01 am
I was absolutely sure that my daughter had written this until I saw the “Ship to” city.
August 29, 2011 at 10:29 am
do NOT want to know why you would know enough about your daughter’s sex-capades to think you recognized she may have written this one
O_o