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Pocks Office

They call this mask “Stand and Deliver”, because when you take it off, you look like Edward James Olmos.

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76 comments on Pocks Office

  1. BillsBayou
    November 10, 2010 at 2:05 pm

    Great! A Faraday cage for my eyes to go with my tin-foil hat.

    Thumb up Thumb down +92

  2. Fartinamitten
    November 10, 2010 at 2:06 pm

    “Hyperalergenic”? So I’ll be REALLY allergic to it?

    Thumb up Thumb down +299

  3. BillsBayou
    November 10, 2010 at 2:07 pm

    Something that’ll give you both an interesting tan and scorching sear mark RIGHT SMACK DAB OVER YOUR EYES.

    Thumb up Thumb down +55

  4. bumblepuppy
    November 10, 2010 at 2:09 pm

    I am too distracted by giant nostrils and the five o’clock shadow to see anything else.

    Thumb up Thumb down +27

  5. bumblepuppy
    November 10, 2010 at 2:12 pm

    And now I am singing “Staaand and deliver!” by Adam Ant thanks to someone back on the three-paintings post.

    Thumb up Thumb down +19

  6. BillsBayou
    November 10, 2010 at 2:12 pm

    @4, Bumblepuppy, that’s kind of harsh. She’s sensitive to any mention of her facial hair.

    Thumb up Thumb down +34

  7. HelenaHandbasket
    November 10, 2010 at 2:18 pm

    I’m surprised they didn’t go into more detail on the heavy-duty rubber band ear clasps.

    Thumb up Thumb down +66

  8. BillsBayou
    November 10, 2010 at 2:21 pm

    I’ve been to his store. He’s figured out how to crochet soft metals. Given the volume of items utilizing this skill, I don’t think he’s figured out how to STOP.

    Thumb up Thumb down +72

  9. flare
    November 10, 2010 at 2:23 pm

    he is…. CHOREBOY! with his side kicks Brillo and SOS-lad. They will tackle grime and wipe out sticky messes (in your kitchen sink)

    Thumb up Thumb down +128

  10. HermesGoddess
    November 10, 2010 at 2:26 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -40

  11. nylasor
    November 10, 2010 at 2:26 pm

    “It creates the most elaborate eye definition . . .” Thanks, I’ll stick with drugstore eye makeup for that. Or do they mean “(elaborate) definition of EYE -
    1: a specialized light-sensitive sensory structure of animals that in nearly all vertebrates, most arthropods, and some mollusks is the image-forming organ of sight; especially : the nearly spherical usually paired hollow organ of sight in vertebrates that is filled with a jellylike material, is lined with a photosensitive retina, and is lodged in a bony orbit in the skull?

    Hope that wasn’t TOO elaborate.

    (hypo hypo hypo hypo hypo)

    Thumb up Thumb down +16

  12. shaeryn
    November 10, 2010 at 2:26 pm

    Am I the only one who sees a gold, stretched out brillo pad?

    http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41lN5kvMiyL._SL500_AA300_.jpg

    Thumb up Thumb down +25

  13. ginntonique
    November 10, 2010 at 2:26 pm

    The Elves of Lothlorien went downhill after discovering Meth.

    Thumb up Thumb down +158

  14. nylasor
    November 10, 2010 at 2:30 pm

    Great! I was looking for a cooling rack for my irregularly shaped cookies.

    Thumb up Thumb down +24

  15. hamoza
    November 10, 2010 at 2:30 pm

    Made in fucking Brooklyn, what a surprise!
    More ridiculous looking than an owl wearing a cowl.

    Thumb up Thumb down +18

  16. ratfishes
    November 10, 2010 at 2:31 pm

    I am also horrified by the “hyper-allergenic” nature of this item… omg

    Thumb up Thumb down +17

  17. calculusgirl
    November 10, 2010 at 2:32 pm

    I should buy this mask and create a comic book alter-ego. Clearly I will call myself Superconductor.

    Thumb up Thumb down +83

  18. BillsBayou
    November 10, 2010 at 2:33 pm

    He’s in Brooklyn and spells “color” as “colour”.

    The pretentious fuck.

    Thumb up Thumb down +56

  19. Wilma Fingerdoo
    November 10, 2010 at 2:34 pm

    Lets just hope Superbrillo Man doesn’t show up with the Masterbeater in hand, hoping to save the day.

    Thumb up Thumb down +61

  20. Buzzkill Crying Glitter Eagle
    November 10, 2010 at 2:35 pm

    there are only one or 2 places I can think of to wear this item that would me more uncomfortable than what’s shown in the photo

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  21. Buzzkill Crying Glitter Eagle
    November 10, 2010 at 2:35 pm

    be more uncomfortable. BE. not “me”

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  22. knittin-kitten
    November 10, 2010 at 2:35 pm

    @ginntonique-Thankfully I wasn’t drinking anything when I read your comment because it made me laugh hysterically. I suppose the Poison Elves got them hooked on it?

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  23. Buzzkill Crying Glitter Eagle
    November 10, 2010 at 1:37 pm

    I’m amazed it’s not tagged Steampunk

    Thumb up Thumb down +46

  24. hamoza
    November 10, 2010 at 1:40 pm

    All this tin foil warrior needs is a mustache on a stick & he’ll be all set.

    Thumb up Thumb down +22

  25. thepackrat
    November 10, 2010 at 1:41 pm

    Kinda’ makes you wonder where the OTHER electrode goes.

    Thumb up Thumb down +17

  26. terriwells
    November 10, 2010 at 1:43 pm

    I could easily have made this. Thank you for saving me from myself.

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

  27. purple_peacock
    November 10, 2010 at 1:48 pm

    Elves gone wild! Grab your vintage whimsical steampunk eye fuckery while they last!

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

  28. nylasor
    November 10, 2010 at 1:48 pm

    “Hunter, you’re required to wear a hairnet around the Fry-o-later, not just for your eyebrows.”

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

  29. joshpincusiscrying
    November 10, 2010 at 1:49 pm

    If you are planning on a life as a superhero and using this mask to conceal your secret identity… DUDE! I can totally tell who you are.

    Did Batman shop on Esty?

    Thumb up Thumb down +25

  30. nylasor
    November 10, 2010 at 1:50 pm

    Hi, Ms. Killer, welcome to Standard Daylight Time :-)

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  31. WhoKnewIt
    November 10, 2010 at 1:56 pm

    The only thing more disturbing than what would possess someone to MAKE something like that is what would possess someone to BUY it…..all it needs is a cupcake dangle and EVERYONE at Etsy Corp will be wearing one!

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  32. unseeliepixie
    November 10, 2010 at 1:58 pm

    #23: I agree… It’s copper, so it should be automatically steampunk. More so after BillsBayou’s Faraday cage reference…

    I’m s

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  33. razberries
    November 10, 2010 at 2:00 pm

    definitely what everyone else said- it looks like one of those copper scrubby pad things

    also- looks like a fisherman’s net.
    if that’s the case, i would like to throw this one back…

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  34. unseeliepixie
    November 10, 2010 at 2:00 pm

    I’m surprised there wasn’t a matching crocheted metal loincloth with it.

    Thumb up Thumb down +35

  35. Grot – The Ghost of Reginald I Perrin
    November 10, 2010 at 2:08 pm

    History would have been much better if Lenin turned his attention to crafts instead of revolution.

    “I have seen the future and it is full of yarn for the Supreme Soviet crafters!”

    “Craftards of the world, Unite!!!!”

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  36. Patty got abducted by a Steampunk Alien
    November 10, 2010 at 2:11 pm

    **#34 unseeliepixie :
    I’m surprised there wasn’t a matching crocheted metal loincloth with it.**

    SHUT THE HELL UP!

    You’ll give them IDEAS!

    Thumb up Thumb down +51

  37. Grot – The Ghost of Reginald I Perrin
    November 10, 2010 at 2:12 pm

    Sadly, Sting’s latest album “The Mask” did not sell very well, indeed.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  38. spacedog
    November 10, 2010 at 2:23 pm

    Also helps with your arthritic eyes so you can keep rolling them hour after hour.

    Thumb up Thumb down +16

  39. Willknitforshoes
    November 10, 2010 at 2:24 pm

    Oh Lordy! I need this!

    http://www.etsy.com/listing/27588625/glam-rock-pirate?ref=v1_other_1

    I have to check my daytimer for my next steam-punk, pirate themed masquerade, hopefully I have time to order! *crosses fingers*

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  40. TooManyCookbooks
    November 10, 2010 at 2:28 pm

    Sadly for Captain New Age, he discovered that a wire mask, hemp trousers and a patchouli cloud weren’t quite of the same chick-magnet caliber as the Batmobile.

    Thumb up Thumb down +21

  41. TheSheep
    November 10, 2010 at 2:32 pm

    @ Billsbayou –
    BWA-HAHAHAHAAAAA! on the Brooklyn comment
    On the piece as a whole, I am personally terrified someone is going to show up at my Ren booth sporting these pretending to be a steampunk Robin Hood and I will not be able to keep a straight face.

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  42. NaturaPluma
    November 10, 2010 at 2:33 pm

    As a maskmaker myself, I almost like this…. almost. There’s a LOT of room for improvement. For one, ANY color but this horrible brillo-pad copper. For two, ANY other fastener than the giant rubber bands. For three, what’s with the abc-gum “flair” at the ends?

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  43. Patty got abducted by a Steampunk Alien
    November 10, 2010 at 2:44 pm

    #39 TheSheep-

    I have a ren faire friend who makes masks and such. And I thought of him and his absolutely amazing masks compared to this. And I laughed heartily. I’m still debating on showing this to him.

    Unless you ARE him… are you? ;)

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  44. Qui
    November 10, 2010 at 2:44 pm

    Am I the only person to look at those and wince at the idea of sharp metal ends anywhere NEAR my eyes? Even if it’s only got two ends, that’s two too many.

    Thumb up Thumb down +16

  45. WhyLikeThis
    November 10, 2010 at 3:05 pm

    frankly, after you buy this copper discoloration is probably the last thing you need to worry about.
    it’s the only chain mail accessory in the world that can guarantee you’ll be injured while wearing it
    some right thinking citizen is bound to beat the crap out of you!

    just because no one’s done it before doesn’t mean you should…

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  46. WhyLikeThis
    November 10, 2010 at 3:20 pm

    Lord Gaga’s first video was panned heavily by the critics for being derivative and poorly made.
    no one has high hopes for the single

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

  47. WhyLikeThis
    November 10, 2010 at 3:21 pm

    you’ll never catch me, copper!

    Thumb up Thumb down +26

  48. Nico
    November 10, 2010 at 3:27 pm

    If this guy is going to stand in my kitchen deliver sparkling clean pots and pans, then I am ALL for it. Send him by.

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

  49. hamoza
    November 10, 2010 at 3:57 pm

    Call me crazy,but the face of the first porcelain woman with fan/slit throat and this masked bozo bear an uncanny resemblance.

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  50. MonstersFromTheID
    November 10, 2010 at 4:07 pm

    We should introduce him to the “this is my handjob” lady

    ZOMG…I just had a flashback to the cheesegrater scene in “The Throwback” by Tom Sharpe – one funniest & squickest things I’ve ever read. Tom Sharpes would be appreciated by most here, I think

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  51. EmpressBarb
    November 10, 2010 at 4:50 pm

    Ooo! Could this fellow make a FULL BODY SUIT of this crocheted wire, in his artistic ability? Something with a zip up the back and a zip over the mouth, please.

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  52. repoed2
    November 10, 2010 at 4:56 pm

    Copper Wire-so they made it from an unfolded Brillo pad?

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  53. What? Philistines! This is the infamous Scottish highwayman Scrubbie McPotts. Aye, there was a dashing and daring man who could keep his cookware clean.

    Thumb up Thumb down +26

  54. invaderhorizongreen
    November 10, 2010 at 5:11 pm

    do they realize that copper will turn green ? when it does they should sell it as a mask for their green lantern costume

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  55. invaderhorizongreen
    November 10, 2010 at 5:12 pm

    also as a reminder do not wear this near anything electrical or a heat source….. or you may never get it off..

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  56. jaqthehat
    November 10, 2010 at 5:16 pm

    this store is great, but I think even better than the masks is this

    http://www.etsy.com/listing/16336001/the-hyperbolic-martian?ref=v1_other_1

    she made it for her husband. and from the photos you can tell he just LOVES wearing it. personally, I think what goes on between 2 consenting adults should stay a private and beautiful thing.

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  57. TooManyCookbooks
    November 10, 2010 at 5:38 pm

    #56 — Sweet Technicolour Jesus! I’m so glad my husband keeps his knitting to socks and theoretical representations of the Higgs Boson.

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  58. catherder
    November 10, 2010 at 5:54 pm

    But is he any good at scrubbing grout? Or rust stains on concrete?

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  59. BettyMachete
    November 10, 2010 at 6:14 pm

    Super David Cassidy!

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

  60. KenriH
    November 10, 2010 at 6:22 pm

    That’s the worst disguise ever.

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  61. trousers rolled
    November 10, 2010 at 8:29 pm

    @BillsBayou I’m not planning to move to Brooklyn but if I did I wouldn’t drop the “u” from “colour” (or neighbour) Would that make me a pretentious fuck?

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  62. trousers rolled, in the good ol’ U.S. of A., there is no ‘u’ in neighbor.

    “GET OFF MY LAWN, PUNK”.

    :-)

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  63. KibblesNBits
    November 10, 2010 at 9:09 pm

    I’m going to convo the seller about a balaclava.

    Don’t be jealous that I thought of it first. Haters gonna hate….

    Thumb up Thumb down +17

  64. Badger
    November 10, 2010 at 11:55 pm

    “In the wake of recent economic cutbacks, the Legion of Lesser Known Superheros have had to make some sacrifices…”

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  65. Nightme
    November 11, 2010 at 2:45 am

    *Shakes my head* you just don’t know how hard it is to crochet wire. Actually, it can’t be that hard, since they seem to have managed it…

    Anyway, speaking as someone both American and English,(who’s lived both places), let’s not get started on spelling and language… Some things aren’t worth getting into ^_^. Live and let live. (Or live and let die if you prefer *evil grin*)

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  66. Wednesday
    November 11, 2010 at 5:25 am

    It’s not hard to crochet wire. I’ve made many items from sterling and from colored wire, some of which were even on Etsy for a time and some of which even sold for cold hard cash.

    However, as Halloween comes but once a year, and I have no sideline interests in robbing banks? It never occurred to me to crochet a wire mask.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  67. StinkBait
    November 11, 2010 at 5:38 am

    When smoking crack you never have to worry about being short on Chore Boy. It serves at least that purpose.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  68. TheSheep
    November 11, 2010 at 6:52 am

    I talked to my sister about it (she is a crocheting fool) and she mentioned to me she has tried crocheting metal herself…the big problem she finds is that it is hard to maintain tension, and the end product never looks quite right. Extremely light chain mail might be better for this application.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  69. Bratfink
    November 11, 2010 at 7:24 am

    I was just gonna comment on the interesting tan lines one would get from that.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  70. laughinglurker
    November 11, 2010 at 7:37 am

    #34 unseeliepixie – I would DEFINITELY by this if it came with a crocheted metal loincloth. Who in their right mind wouldn’t?

    My only concern is could I wear them in the rain?

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  71. BillsBayou
    November 11, 2010 at 9:10 am

    @61 Trousers Rolled, if you visit here, spell it how your teachers taught you. If you move here, spell it how it’s spelled here. To answer your question, YES! When in Rome, and all that.

    If I were to move to my Da’s place of birth and insisted on spelling it “color”, I’d be a pretentious fuck (or git, or whatever you please because you’d be right to point out my arrogance).

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  72. iamhydrogen14
    November 11, 2010 at 9:12 am

    #57 TooManyCookbooks: I’m very intrigued/pleased at the idea of a knitted representation of the Higgs boson. Can i buy one for my husband for Christmas? He’d love it.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  73. trousers rolled
    November 11, 2010 at 11:47 am

    @BillsBayou You can pry that “u’ out of my cold, dead hands.

    ;-)

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  74. hotdogs
    November 12, 2010 at 7:51 am

    He’s wearing a unitard I just know it.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  75. AstridNicole
    November 15, 2010 at 8:14 pm

    Oh you people, you make a mockery of everything! I could totally do that one.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  76. Tirabaralla
    November 17, 2010 at 4:02 am

    The Itchy and Scratchy Show?

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

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