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Taken for Granite

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64 comments on Taken for Granite

  1. calculusgirl
    November 5, 2010 at 9:39 am

    She destroyed a children’s magazine from 1843 for this? I can just hear my college’s rare book library wincing.

    Thumb up Thumb down +224

  2. DTKMKihn.blogspot.com
    November 5, 2010 at 9:40 am

    Rock covers paper, but who wins with this piece?

    Thumb up Thumb down +182

  3. knittin-kitten
    November 5, 2010 at 9:40 am

    Are you sure that rock came from a river? Because it looks like the rocks you find around the Ace Hardware parking lot.

    Thumb up Thumb down +119

  4. and Stretch65 as “The Count”
    November 5, 2010 at 9:41 am

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -50

  5. hamoza
    November 5, 2010 at 9:41 am

    ‘civilization began the first time an angry person cast a word instead of a rock’-Freud

    and this yutz killed 2 birds with one stone.

    Thumb up Thumb down +59

  6. wphelps
    November 5, 2010 at 9:43 am

    my question is where the F**k is she getting all this paper from 1843?? Her other crap…I mean craft she sells ALSO has some shit written on paper from 1843

    Thumb up Thumb down +39

  7. emlemony
    November 5, 2010 at 9:43 am

    I like it, but can I get it with Slam Poetry instead?

    Thumb up Thumb down +25

  8. Sammy the Goose
    November 5, 2010 at 9:45 am

    Using paper from 1843 is totally steampunk!

    Thumb up Thumb down +106

  9. BillsBayou
    November 5, 2010 at 9:47 am

    Cover it with Swarovski crystals and I’ll buy it. I want the prettiest murder weapon in the evidence box.

    Thumb up Thumb down +136

  10. LeeLooDallas
    November 5, 2010 at 9:48 am

    Can I get one that says “May the quartz be with you”?

    Thumb up Thumb down +151

  11. knittin-kitten
    November 5, 2010 at 9:49 am

    I find $3.00 a bit steep for a maudlin sentiment on a piece of granite. I would, however, gladly pay twice the price for HK’s.

    Thumb up Thumb down +27

  12. marymert
    November 5, 2010 at 9:49 am

    put some googly eyes on it and sell it as the Regretsy Petsy rock. For charity.

    “For let he who is without Whimsical WTF’ery cast the first stone.”

    Thumb up Thumb down +136

  13. knittin-kitten
    November 5, 2010 at 9:52 am

    If there was a picture of her fighting ghostly vikings and robots to get the rock from the river decoupaged onto the other side of the rock, well, then we might have a deal.

    Thumb up Thumb down +16

  14. hamoza
    November 5, 2010 at 9:57 am

    Just goes to show either a humble rock or a shitload of Swarovski crystals can be equally useless in the right hands.

    Thumb up Thumb down +31

  15. Wilma Fingerdoo
    November 5, 2010 at 9:58 am

    Mayb she can give it a name and make it a pet steampunk rock.
    Make a cute little monicle for Sir Fagin Quirke. Send some ownership papers….

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  16. Qui
    November 5, 2010 at 10:05 am

    Oh, come on guys; this totally rocks!

    Thumb up Thumb down +37

  17. LeeLooDallas
    November 5, 2010 at 10:07 am

    Another shop run by a stoner.

    Thumb up Thumb down +18

  18. purple_peacock
    November 5, 2010 at 10:07 am

    I’m not sure “decoupaged” is an accepted entry in Scrabble…

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  19. thewhiterabbitaz
    November 5, 2010 at 10:09 am

    A haiku:
    Yes, rocks are dirt cheap.
    My grade school level rock poems…
    Great for bludgeoning!

    Thumb up Thumb down +17

  20. Buzzkill Crying Glitter Eagle
    November 5, 2010 at 10:13 am

    HK, I love your poem. It’s going to be my next tattoo. Or bumper sticker. Or maybe my line of maternity shirts. Or maybe all of the above.

    I would like to take this moment to point out that granite is more radioactive than standing outside the fence at three mile island. Not that it has anything to do with anything.

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

  21. KibblesNBits
    November 5, 2010 at 10:14 am

    No need to destroy antique books, my dear. Buy yourself a magnetic poetry kit from Spencer’s and call it a day.

    Besides, I can make up stupid shit too:

    “Warning, under pressure, away from yourself
    A bitter reside in the mouth
    Large amounts of water and fresh air
    Instant Death”

    I took these words from the can of vintage computer cleaner sitting on my desk. Printed on vintage Charmin from the 1980′s and decoupaged onto a vintage hubcap. OOAK. Steampunk.

    Thumb up Thumb down +90

  22. nylasor
    November 5, 2010 at 10:17 am

    @ #12: It’s whimsicle; check your Regretsy-Webster Dictionary.

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  23. joshpincusiscrying
    November 5, 2010 at 10:18 am

    I would feel like I was being taken if it just said “Paper from my printer glued to a rock”.
    Truth in advertising!

    Thumb up Thumb down +15

  24. JustJanet
    November 5, 2010 at 10:21 am

    Oh I know!!! 1843 is the paper SKU from the craft store.

    Thumb up Thumb down +35

  25. LeeLooDallas
    November 5, 2010 at 10:22 am

    Josh – you could always send the seller a letter of query.. I mean quarry.

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  26. Whimsicko
    November 5, 2010 at 10:24 am

    It was printed using her Hewlett Packard 1843 ZXi printer.

    Thumb up Thumb down +23

  27. hotacidbath
    November 5, 2010 at 10:26 am

    For $3 I am extremely tempted to buy this and give it a Regretsy makeover, but I also don’t want to encourage her to make more of these. Maybe I can just find* a natural stone* and decoupage* a poem* printed on 1843* paper onto it myself.

    *Pick up
    *Rock
    *Glue
    *Stupid sentence
    *Inkjet

    Thumb up Thumb down +35

  28. Patty got abducted by a Steampunk Alien
    November 5, 2010 at 10:31 am

    Hey, kids! Do you hate it when you buy something that CLAIMS to be from 1843 and then you get it and it looks like a magnetic poem kit from Spencer’s?? So do I, which is why I invented the “HOME CARBON DATING KIT!”!!!

    For $19.95, 12.87 for shipping and processing, you too can own a HOME CARBON DATING KIT! With the home carbon dating kit, you will never again be duped into buying a rock with a poem on it without confirming that it is indeed, from 1843!

    This kit will pay for itself!

    But only if you find someone else who is more of an idiot than you are to sell it to!

    Buy the HOME CARBON DATING KIT now! For birthdays! Christmas and other December-ish holidays! EASTER! Need to find out if that Shroud in the attic is the REAL THING?? GET THE HOME CARBON DATING KIT!

    /all sales final, no refunds, no exchanges, not a real product.

    Thumb up Thumb down +59

  29. WinchesterLambourne
    November 5, 2010 at 10:36 am

    I hate it when old books or magazines are cut up. :( It’s one of my things.

    Thumb up Thumb down +46

  30. hamoza
    November 5, 2010 at 10:53 am

    Last time I went river rafting I must have written a good dozen extra chapters to war & peace, and didn’t even know it.

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  31. Um and Uh
    November 5, 2010 at 10:54 am

    I’m just going to point out that s/he only wants $3 for this. $30 and we could mock much more heartily.

    Thumb up Thumb down +18

  32. and Stretch65 as “The Count”
    November 5, 2010 at 10:59 am

    “PEOPLE IN GLASS HOUSES SHOULDN’T GET STONED”
    or something like that
    1843 are the last 4 numbers from the library card catalogue. $3.00 is just the down payment .25 per day for the overdue book that was destroyed to make these

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  33. marymert
    November 5, 2010 at 11:11 am

    @22 dooly noted ;)

    I was wondering… anyone know how long it takes dog shit to dry out? I want to decoupage them with Confucius quotes and sell them on Etsy as Nuggets of Wisdom.

    Thumb up Thumb down +44

  34. marymert
    November 5, 2010 at 11:19 am

    Damn, the rock sold.

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  35. marymert
    November 5, 2010 at 11:25 am

    Luckily, this item is still for sale:

    http://www.etsy.com/listing/51351306/autumn-haiku-fabric-and-found-object

    In the traditional haiku form of 7-5-4, and printed on antique paper from 1843, naturally.

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  36. whimsiclesthenics
    November 5, 2010 at 11:37 am

    A Haiku For Regretsy

    I wrote poetry
    For many long, lonely years
    No rocks would take them.

    Thumb up Thumb down +36

  37. WTFisthatanyway
    November 5, 2010 at 11:51 am

    “Stoned” poem is more like it. Wait a minute – it’s sold? I’ll bet I know what Rob Kalin is getting for Christmas!

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  38. Chrisnyc1213
    November 5, 2010 at 11:54 am

    1843? That’s child’s play. I found a copy of the dead sea scrolls and I’m gonna decoupage a kitchen stool with it.

    Thumb up Thumb down +51

  39. steviesegel
    November 5, 2010 at 11:54 am

    Ok…since haiku seems popular today:

    Rock, paper, scissors,
    All went into making this
    Piece of effin crap

    Thumb up Thumb down +34

  40. Buzzkill Crying Glitter Eagle
    November 5, 2010 at 11:59 am

    #28 Patty – I would totally buy your kit if you dropped the price to $18.43.

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

  41. Buzzkill Crying Glitter Eagle
    November 5, 2010 at 12:01 pm

    I think I understand the paper from 1843 bit: she found some blank paper in her attic and it’s very old.

    I have some monogrammed paper from my first wedding. It’s from 1978 – that makes it vintage, right?

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

  42. angel drawers
    November 5, 2010 at 12:12 pm

    Buzzkill, that actually does make it vintage, according to Etsy rules.

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

  43. angel drawers
    November 5, 2010 at 12:32 pm

    The poem gets much more interesting if you think of it as the iris of someone’s eye, rather than a flower.

    Thumb up Thumb down +18

  44. truegem
    November 5, 2010 at 12:37 pm

    What a waste of 1843 paper.

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  45. hamoza
    November 5, 2010 at 12:42 pm

    Pulp fiction .

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  46. pplrdum
    November 5, 2010 at 12:45 pm

    omg. someone bought a goddamned rock over the internet!
    That’s it: I’m going to start selling ice online.

    effing stupid people. I bet her mother biught it so she wouldn’t feel ike a failure.

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

  47. pplrdum
    November 5, 2010 at 12:47 pm

    bought*

    oy.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  48. puzagirl
    November 5, 2010 at 1:02 pm

    $3.00 is a deal, considering the costs of travelling back in time to buy paper.

    Thumb up Thumb down +19

  49. KenriH
    November 5, 2010 at 2:15 pm

    I will take 1,000 of these stones … and a catapult.

    Thumb up Thumb down +18

  50. HelenaHandbasket
    November 5, 2010 at 3:29 pm

    The lines shouldn’t have been sealed on. They’d have made as much sense, and for fun times, if they’d been left able to be interchanged.

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  51. invaderhorizongreen
    November 5, 2010 at 3:54 pm

    how do we know the paper is really antique it could have just been chemically treated for all we know to look old.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  52. invaderhorizongreen
    November 5, 2010 at 3:57 pm

    i have a REAL book from 1870 and the type is much smaller than this, looks different, and the lack of ink blots make me doubt the age of this

    Thumb up Thumb down -2

  53. angel drawers
    November 5, 2010 at 4:31 pm

    #52 it says she prints the poem on old paper. I don’t think the text is supposed to be old.

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  54. WAH-LAH:

    Thumb up Thumb down +47

  55. Willowmist
    November 6, 2010 at 8:47 am

    Not to be a buzzkill, but I’m pretty sure the POEM is from 1843 and the paper is present tense.

    The rock is best part and the whole thing is still stupid.

    Thumb up Thumb down -1

  56. Willowmist
    November 6, 2010 at 8:50 am

    *the rock is the best part..

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  57. rumi monger
    November 6, 2010 at 9:36 am

    hey don’t hate. this is how Virginia Woolf got her start.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  58. knittin-kitten
    November 6, 2010 at 10:11 am

    VEDD-it always amazes me what you make in your artistic ability!

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  59. laughinglurker
    November 8, 2010 at 10:16 am

    VEDD, definitely comment of the day material.

    Wow, I think it’s happened, I’ve finally seen evidence of someone with less artistic ability than me. Didn’t think it was possible, but this stupid product is probably one of the dumbest, least creative things I have ever seen in my life.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  60. Serge
    November 9, 2010 at 9:51 am

    I’m stapling Megan Fox’s spread from Maxim Magazine onto pieces of the True Cross and selling them for $2.00. I think I may sell more.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  61. Sid Spacegoat
    November 9, 2010 at 11:47 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -5

  62. Tirabaralla
    November 17, 2010 at 4:20 am

    I wanna put on a business using your spin-offs :D

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  63. jimmy121
    April 4, 2012 at 5:02 am

    Many people have got their starts like this.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

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