Back to the Drawing Board
Oh I’m so glad you’re willing to work with me, because this isn’t quite what I had in mind. I was thinking something more like this:
And the for the rest of the bridal party, maybe something like this?
But you’re the artist!
Speaking of weddings, my November column for Brides.com is now live for your perusal.
November 5, 2010 at 4:33 pm
At first glance I thought it was a coffee pitcher.
What’s that to the right – this dress blocking out the sun?
November 5, 2010 at 4:44 pm
It does look like a coffee carafe. So, a coffee themed wedding might include a coffee enema spa treatment for the bridal party, coffee injections, and brown bridal party dresses.
November 5, 2010 at 5:03 pm
Vera Wang she aint.
Since she sends it out to her seamstress to be made , I guess the big draw here is the stellar design.
Let’s hope the seamstress sews better than she draws.
November 5, 2010 at 5:21 pm
What a beautiful & lovingly crafted story !
November 5, 2010 at 5:29 pm
A beautiful & lovingly carafe-d story – ha!
November 5, 2010 at 5:29 pm
Because a bridesmaid dress isn’t bad enough without the extra fun “bubble butt” attached….
November 5, 2010 at 5:30 pm
I’m glad she clarified that it is an organza flower sash.
I’d hate to spend $625 and get ANOTHER secret-spy hypnosis belt.
November 5, 2010 at 5:32 pm
i am also really grateful she told us this is the front.
November 5, 2010 at 5:34 pm
I would love to order the Ruffled Mermaid dress from her http://www.etsy.com/listing/60794160/ruffled-mermaid-wedding-dress-custom
… but I’m pretty sure we have labor laws that prohibit children under the age of 10 from such jobs as fashion illustrator and seamstress.
November 5, 2010 at 5:34 pm
I’m seeing the coffee carafe, but I’m also seeing a bowling pin and ball behind it.
Still can’t see a $625 wedding dress, though.
November 5, 2010 at 5:35 pm
I’d like to see who wore it better…
November 5, 2010 at 5:35 pm
I think Awesome Aidan needs to school this person what’s what when it comes to art!!
November 5, 2010 at 5:36 pm
@#9-crap, that’s fugly.When you want to look like a mermaid but will settle for looking like a squid.
November 5, 2010 at 5:36 pm
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November 5, 2010 at 5:40 pm
Is the groom/Bronc the one with the exploding head?
November 5, 2010 at 5:41 pm
That whole concept of actually making the item, putting it on a model, and photographing it in finished condition is soooooo outdated.
November 5, 2010 at 5:43 pm
That straight-across bodice is a hard look to pull off, especially if you have any shape at all. But if you look like a bowling pin. . . .
November 5, 2010 at 5:44 pm
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November 5, 2010 at 5:48 pm
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November 5, 2010 at 5:48 pm
does this dress make my butt look big?
November 5, 2010 at 5:51 pm
Looks like a sake carafe eclipsing the rising sun. Hai!
November 5, 2010 at 5:51 pm
OK, there’s no excuse for this. Two minutes on Google looking up “croquis pattern” and I found a site where you can download free ones. Then you practice until your drawings look professional.
*Then* you start charging hundreds of dollars.
Loved the story, HK. I could imagine every bit of it, from the turquoise shoes on the nightstand to the rustle of taffeta in the hall.
November 5, 2010 at 5:52 pm
I swear I see the word “HACK” impressed at the bottom of this sketch.
November 5, 2010 at 5:52 pm
This is reserved for the future Mrs. Kool-Aid Man. OH YEEEEAH!
November 5, 2010 at 5:53 pm
I’m a designer and seamstress, and the thought of trying to sell gowns off of very-badly drawn pencil-drawing makes my skin crawl, as does trying to sell gowns using only the pictures on the fronts of pattern-envelopes. Anyone wishing to sell absolutely must shows some example gowns. A seamstress who overlooks this no-brainer detail can’t be trusted with the details that truly make a gown great, like actually fitting, and having seam finished proper to the fabric and cut of the particular gown. Sheesh!
November 5, 2010 at 5:54 pm
For being such a simple line drawing, I still don’t understand the dress. Does it have a tumor?
November 5, 2010 at 5:55 pm
Just realized. The butt bow. Oh my…
November 5, 2010 at 5:56 pm
Maybe it’s a side airbag.
November 5, 2010 at 5:58 pm
http://www.etsy.com/listing/60839800/gathered-princess-embroidered-and-beaded
If that’s a real example of her work, it looks nothing like her drawings. So you’re basically taking a shot in the dark of what you’re getting.
Also: http://www.etsy.com/listing/51645495/wedding-party-flower-package
$500 for flowers when the only flowers are on a rose bush that happen to be where that wedding is taking place. A couple face-shots of kids isn’t going to convince anyone to buy her flowers. Again, another shot in the dark.
November 5, 2010 at 5:58 pm
A side airbag for when the groom passes out. Or the maid of honor, I guess, on that side.
November 5, 2010 at 6:05 pm
$625 bucks for this??? what are you making it out of rainbows,cobwebs,and dreams?
November 5, 2010 at 6:07 pm
oh my god, how did you even pick one? The whole shop concept is so crazy it almost seems like a hoax. This is a vagina drawing by a 7th grade boy if I ever saw one: http://www.etsy.com/listing/60798727/ruffled-beauty-wedding-gown-custom?ref=v1_other_1 — c’mon, an oblong “opening???” With squiggly lines around it?
And I think the plunger is a close second: http://www.etsy.com/listing/60794160/ruffled-mermaid-wedding-dress-custom?ref=v1_other_2
November 5, 2010 at 6:11 pm
Because any bride to be would love to entrust their big day stuff with someone who can’t bother to spend more than 2 minutes on presentation.
Criminy, my kinderqarten doodles look like DaVinci compared to this.
As for the poss. of fittings…bahahahaha. mormon.
November 5, 2010 at 6:18 pm
I love that you can see the pressure marks from the drawing before in the middle of this one (squiggly looking legs in the middle).
She probably did her whole website during the commercials of Dora.
November 5, 2010 at 6:20 pm
I seriously stopped breathing while laughing at the bridal party ideas. And peed a little too.
November 5, 2010 at 6:21 pm
Who boughted a wedding dress under the sea…Sponge Betty Square Tits….
November 5, 2010 at 6:34 pm
I’m kind of bummed that the objects on the sash are labeled “organza flowers,” because I was pretty psyched when I thought they were upcycled X-Ray Specs lenses.
November 5, 2010 at 7:53 pm
That blob to the side is supposed to be a train. I’ve had enough bad drawings by clients that I’ve seen that representation of a train plenty of times.
November 5, 2010 at 7:54 pm
Um and Uh,
Remind me to never go to one of YOUR parties.
November 5, 2010 at 7:56 pm
I love the clever way they’ve incorporated the co-joined twin into the back of the gown.
November 5, 2010 at 7:57 pm
I thought it was a still life of a vase and an orange.
November 5, 2010 at 8:03 pm
I might let someone get away with prototype drawings IF THEY HAD STUNNING EXAMPLES OF THEIR PREVIOUS WORK.
That one dress isn’t going to cut it.
November 5, 2010 at 8:12 pm
OMG all of her custom listings contain these horrid sketches! You are on a roll today with picking some really funny etsy finds btw….
November 5, 2010 at 8:12 pm
#27, here’s an example of her flowers:
http://www.etsy.com/listing/57899556/hot-pink-anemones-white-ranunculus-black
Yuck.
November 5, 2010 at 8:19 pm
so much absurdity in the world!
November 5, 2010 at 8:35 pm
I’m guessing this potato sack is an example of her work? She should stick to drawing…
http://www.etsy.com/listing/57104099/sunflower-sophisticated-bouquet-and
November 5, 2010 at 9:16 pm
Looks like the original design involved a pair of scissors attached to the back but she decided to erase them.
November 5, 2010 at 9:32 pm
#27 – can someone please explain why the bride, the groom and the officiant are looking at that dress as if they expect it to spontaneously combust?
November 5, 2010 at 10:11 pm
Will the bustline be totally perfectly straight like that? Because when I think of my Special Day I think to myself “I need a dress with corners”.
November 5, 2010 at 10:13 pm
She needs a Barbie Fashion Plate set.
November 6, 2010 at 3:08 am
Phew, and I thought my kid sister drew like crap when she was 2…
What exactly am I looking at? Looks like an art deco rendition of a sake set…
November 6, 2010 at 3:43 am
It’d be good on 1843 paper.
November 6, 2010 at 6:44 am
Well here’s a situation where a picture isn’t worth 1000 words. I’ve only come up with three so far myself: bad, Bad, BAD.
November 6, 2010 at 6:48 am
If I couldn’t read English, I would assume it was some kind of Art Deco water pitcher.
November 6, 2010 at 8:46 am
Its Vera Wang without the Vera…
I do have to give kudos for the realistic organza flower sash. Lets not be haters she made “in best of her artistic abillity”
November 6, 2010 at 9:23 am
#29 Its cloth spun from unicorn fur with bee poop sealed hems.
Its the floral oragam sash that costs so much
November 6, 2010 at 10:01 am
I thought that extra shape off to the side was the baby bulge for the shotgun wedding (what – am I the only bride with a bun in the oven at the wedding???)
I know my costume sketches are hideous, but they are better than these!
November 6, 2010 at 10:09 am
What scares me the most about all of this is the printing that accompanies the drawings. For some reason I find it slightly creepy.
@catherder-I was the maid of honor in a wedding where one of the bridesmaids almost fainted at the altar. She kept swaying slightly to one side or the other and pretty soon everyone was paying more attention to her than the bride. You can imagine how happy this made the bride.
November 6, 2010 at 10:21 am
#54 Buzzkill I think it indicates there is room for a pikachu butt plug. A must for any new bride…
November 6, 2010 at 11:50 am
This dress- http://www.etsy.com/listing/60839800/gathered-princess-embroidered-and-beaded
WASN’T MADE BY THE SELLER.
“Thank You and Congratulations to Kimberley and Johnathon for allowing us to use photo as dress example.”
THey used someone else’s wedding photos as am example of their drawing.
Yeah.
November 6, 2010 at 12:22 pm
At least you can tell for sure she’s not an Asian reseller…
November 6, 2010 at 1:37 pm
You meanies made her take the WHOLE shop down. Dang.
November 6, 2010 at 1:59 pm
Well since the whole shop is now gone, I have nothing to say other than that I’m still giggling at “But you’re the artist!”.
November 6, 2010 at 5:52 pm
Poor Gal. And I heard Project Runway was going to call her. I mean Project Runaway.
November 6, 2010 at 5:54 pm
That, an any real seamstress should know that “princess” is a style of assembling a dress, and that this one is not a princess dress. Jeepers, woman; know your terminology even if you can’t draw.
November 6, 2010 at 6:23 pm
I’m so sad…apparently she yanked her entire shop and all your links above are no longer available!
November 6, 2010 at 6:45 pm
When my daughter was 7 years old she came to me with a similar design and told me she was going to be a fashion designer. I told her when she was an adult she could be but she’d have to go to school first. Darn… if I’d stuck her on etsy she could have made a fortune by now!
November 7, 2010 at 11:42 am
I actually prefer her design for the groom’s tuxedo:
http://oi52.tinypic.com/3325q53.jpg
November 7, 2010 at 2:58 pm
Well that’s twice today I’ve had the snark whacked right out of me. First time was those exquisitely made pink “ball” earrings. And now, damnit … Killer has done it again with the link to her November Column in Brides.com. The story of her sister’s wedding has me all choked up.
Shit … Killer …. either you or I are becoming softies or something. But … it feels almost as good as the snark!
November 8, 2010 at 10:06 am
Your article was just great. It’s got me all teary-eyed and missing my sister. Well done!
ps I love that snarky-but-wise smirk you’ve got going in the your picture for the column
November 8, 2010 at 11:12 am
Maybe she should collaborate with Minneapolis fashion designer Emma Berg
http://lepetitconnaisseurdelamode.blogspot.com/2010/08/emma-bergs-sketch-for-lady-gaga.html
November 8, 2010 at 11:32 am
This is what is great about gay Men’s weddings its all just tuxedoes and drag queens and the after party!!!!HOLLAH!!
November 8, 2010 at 2:16 pm
Great story HK!!!!
November 8, 2010 at 4:57 pm
HK, your story made soppy drops roll down my cheeks onto my hoodie. Thanks.
November 8, 2010 at 6:23 pm
Man, I got more work done than usual on a Monday!
We’re missing you HK~ get better soon!
I don’t FB, so came here to say I hope you’re bundled up in your dog caftan , snuggling with the pooches & inbibing copious amounts of soup & feel good drugs.
November 9, 2010 at 4:22 pm
Helen, your friends are SOOOOO pretty! You’ll be the most gorgeous bridal party EVER!
November 17, 2010 at 4:14 am
First I was like…wtf?
But then I was like: WTF?!