For God so loved His iPhone
That He stored it inside His Son’s Father’s Day gift from 3rd Grade
And whosoever misplaceth his keys
Blame not His everlasting incense tray
Buzzkill Crying Glitter Eagle
November 3, 2010 at 6:15 pm
I knew the reception for ATT was not as good as some other cell providers, but I had no idea you needed divine intervention to keep your phone working.
yeah,I had this charger, but shit, there was NO coverage on Sundays but what’s cool is that when your battery runs out, that shit recharges it’s self a 3 days later. Cool!!
Why is this filed under Jews? Is there a special place in every good Jew’s heart for a badly rendered false prophet to provide power to their cell phone?
Jesus was a Jew. It’s the closest I could get without starting a “Jesus iPod Docks” category. – HK
#51 – Ringtones:
“What a Friend We Have in Jesus (text Him anytime)”
“(I hear my phone) Ringing in the Sheaves”
“Oh Deep and How Far Reaching (does my iPhone signal go)”
Either I’m drunk (which to be fair, I am) else there’s a ‘foorprint’ in there somewhere. Sorry to get all anal on you. It’s the cheap lager. Does it every time.
November 3, 2010 at 4:35 pm
Are you there God? It’s me, Margret.
November 3, 2010 at 4:35 pm
CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW, LORD!?
November 3, 2010 at 4:35 pm
The Regretsying of “Footprints” is glorious.
November 3, 2010 at 4:36 pm
And the LORD said, “can you hear me now?”.
November 3, 2010 at 4:36 pm
‘Cuz being human, even Jesus liked to phone it in on certain days.
November 3, 2010 at 4:37 pm
…for God so loved the world he gave us his only begotten Jobs so that we may text and search for apps…
November 3, 2010 at 4:38 pm
If it was the face of Steve Jobs I’d consider it.
November 3, 2010 at 4:38 pm
I hear the party lines back in the day were a hoot.
November 3, 2010 at 4:40 pm
There’s another version made from Noah’s bark.
November 3, 2010 at 4:41 pm
Jerry, pull the high end out, I’m still getting some hiss back here.
November 3, 2010 at 4:42 pm
Cherry wood is among the most beautiful of woods. it is a delight to work with.i had always thought that anything you carved into it would look great.
….and then i saw this.
can you stop actively trying to prove me wrong now, world? the novelty has worn off
November 3, 2010 at 4:43 pm
Text Message:
“OMD wtf was Judas thinking!? i am sooo pissed!! whatevs. haters gonna hate.”
November 3, 2010 at 4:43 pm
It’s the iGod for your iPod.
November 3, 2010 at 4:48 pm
For God so loved His iPhone
That He stored it inside His Son’s Father’s Day gift from 3rd Grade
And whosoever misplaceth his keys
Blame not His everlasting incense tray
November 3, 2010 at 4:48 pm
I’m pretty sure that Danish oil comes from a danish…
November 3, 2010 at 4:48 pm
The cherry wood is beautiful. That is all.
November 3, 2010 at 4:54 pm
Not sure I trust my car keys, cell phone and all my worldly change to have Colonel Sanders on a cross standing guard.
November 3, 2010 at 4:58 pm
Multipurpose, as g-0-d would have wanted it.
Works as a collection plate in a very small congregation.
November 3, 2010 at 4:59 pm
Who else thinks that 20 years ago this was labeled “ashtray”?
November 3, 2010 at 5:03 pm
It resembles a pot stash/rolling tray combo someone gifted me with years ago.
November 3, 2010 at 5:18 pm
WWSJD?
Probably not buy this.
November 3, 2010 at 5:21 pm
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November 3, 2010 at 5:22 pm
I hear ‘he’ keeps changing his #….
November 3, 2010 at 5:24 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
November 3, 2010 at 5:30 pm
Apparently, Jesus loves the thumbs down button on my comments.
The Power Of Christ compels you to stop posting, Grot!
November 3, 2010 at 5:30 pm
$55 + $12.50 shipping? I think the seller inhaled a bit too much of the Danish oil while finishing this.
November 3, 2010 at 5:36 pm
Coincidentally, our pastor at church just recently preached a sermon entitled “Can you hear me now?”
November 3, 2010 at 5:39 pm
Bet this woodworker would be fucking thrilled to know his crucifix phone tableau is featured next to the cock-n-boobs-n-boots.
November 3, 2010 at 5:41 pm
iLike it. It’s very Religion 2.0. I’m putting in an alchemy request for a baptismal font that holds the church Wi-Fi router. I hope this seller bids!
November 3, 2010 at 5:44 pm
Does the iGod work in Europe and South America, too? How about the Middle East, India and China? I need to know before I invest $55.
November 3, 2010 at 5:57 pm
And, on the 7th day, the Lord rested and the Lord sexted Eve, and knew her. And it was good. Oh, was it good. AMEN.
November 3, 2010 at 5:58 pm
WWJC? Apparently not my Palm Pre.
November 3, 2010 at 6:15 pm
I knew the reception for ATT was not as good as some other cell providers, but I had no idea you needed divine intervention to keep your phone working.
does this mean Verizon is Satan?
November 3, 2010 at 6:53 pm
The pegs the phone is sitting on are crooked. Lousy carpenter.
November 3, 2010 at 6:57 pm
Sounds like the LORD uses AT&T.
November 3, 2010 at 7:09 pm
What a nice Jesus-y soap dish. Keeping the church bathroom classy!
November 3, 2010 at 7:38 pm
I like that JC is keeping an eye on the phone. Peace of mind.
November 3, 2010 at 8:27 pm
@GrayPyre: Good. I’m glad I’m not the only one who noticed that. Methinks someone forgot to pray to draw a straight line.
November 3, 2010 at 8:40 pm
Sorry Lord, you’ll have to speak up, I’m on the train.
November 3, 2010 at 9:14 pm
yeah,I had this charger, but shit, there was NO coverage on Sundays but what’s cool is that when your battery runs out, that shit recharges it’s self a 3 days later. Cool!!
November 3, 2010 at 9:16 pm
Jesus Christ. Where did I leave my phone?!
Oh.
November 3, 2010 at 10:50 pm
Why is this filed under Jews? Is there a special place in every good Jew’s heart for a badly rendered false prophet to provide power to their cell phone?
Jesus was a Jew. It’s the closest I could get without starting a “Jesus iPod Docks” category. – HK
November 4, 2010 at 2:38 am
San Damiano! I witness your testimony to our cell phone saviour!
November 4, 2010 at 2:53 am
I hope it comes with unlimited international, รด lord…
November 4, 2010 at 5:26 am
I know some people who would buy it if it looked like this:
http://s1102.photobucket.com/albums/g458/whimsiclesthenics/?action=view¤t=odock.jpg
November 4, 2010 at 6:58 am
I’ve been going to church for 40 years and I’ve NEVER read ANYTHING about them nailing Christ’s head to a tree.
November 4, 2010 at 7:16 am
Wired has been calling it the Jesus phone for years. That phrase…I do not think it means what this “artist” thinks it means…
November 4, 2010 at 8:52 am
Filed in Jews.
AWESOMEJEWS!
November 4, 2010 at 9:09 am
From this angle, it looks like the iPhone is trying to get away from Jesus. Real Christians use Android phones.
November 4, 2010 at 9:44 am
Jazz Chicken: *sob* Dear Lord, please be with me, I’m going through a rough time now. My mother is sick, my husband is cheating on me…
God: Sorry, getting on the subway. I’ll text you later.
November 4, 2010 at 10:28 am
I wonder what Jesus’s ring tones are.
November 4, 2010 at 12:37 pm
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November 5, 2010 at 4:07 pm
at least they found a good use for the cutting boards that have been laying around for years.
November 9, 2010 at 10:13 pm
#51 – Ringtones:
“What a Friend We Have in Jesus (text Him anytime)”
“(I hear my phone) Ringing in the Sheaves”
“Oh Deep and How Far Reaching (does my iPhone signal go)”
September 18, 2011 at 2:47 pm
Either I’m drunk (which to be fair, I am) else there’s a ‘foorprint’ in there somewhere. Sorry to get all anal on you. It’s the cheap lager. Does it every time.