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Monthly Archives: October 2010
Still don’t have a costume? It’s not too late! With just a little ingenuity and a Sharpie, you too can be one of the archetypes of Etsy!
5. THE BROKEN DOLL
The Broken Doll is a sad little waif swimming in clothes that are much too big. Get the look by wearing your father’s sportcoat and looking sad. Bonus points for provocative clothing made from children’s fabrics, giving you that coveted sexy toddler look that no one can adequately explain.
4. THE ETSY VICTIM
The Etsy Victim is slavishly devoted to every ridiculous trend that makes its way to the front page. Get the look by cutting the fingers out of your gloves and wearing gigantic cowls that obscure your face and make it difficult to drive. Tie anything in the house to your head and claim it’s a fascinator (bonus points if it’s a dead animal). Don’t forget the ill-fitting shrug, necklace made of household objects and cardboard mustache on a stick. For added realism, refer to yourself as a “burlesque vaudeville robot zombie.”
3. THE MILITANT LACTIVIST
The Militant Lactivist (or “Lactard”) is usually found in a “I MAKE MILK, WHAT’S YOUR SUPERPOWER?” T-shirt, but you can get the look yourself by smearing yogurt on the front of your blouse. Enhance the effect with a breast milk pendant, and by hijacking Facebook threads about far more serious issues. For added realism, tell other party goers that no one is more persecuted in America than breastfeeding white women.
2. THE BODY MOD ENTHUSIAST
The Body Mod Enthusiast is covered with tattoos, piercings and scarifications. The overall image is often so distracting, you don’t know what the person is selling, which in this case, is a stick. For added realism, sleep in your make-up the night before, and style your hair with Endust. Bonus points for licking other heavily tattooed people for no real reason.
1. THE CHINESE RESELLER
The Chinese Reseller is all about make-believe! They make believe the thousands of mass-produced items they list every day are handmade, and Etsy makes believe they don’t know about it. Get the look by wearing handmade earrings and speaking in song lyrics.
Have fun!
1. AID FOR AIDAN
Our hand knit balaclava auction on Ebay raised $1700 for Aidan Reed!
Thanks to everyone who made it possible. And thank you for your prompt payment! More than half of you have already paid, and your masks are on their way.
You have also purchased hundreds of Aidan’s drawings, which has been a huge help to his family. And he is getting media coverage from all over the world.
I don’t know what to tell you about the photo. Someone sent it to me and I had to get it off my desk as quickly as possible.
2. IMPORTANT MAIL FROM THE MAILBAG
Dan makes a good point. I’m sure there are a lot of you who would just like to read sad stories about people in need all day, unfettered by comedic content. And God knows there aren’t enough places online to get depressed.
So here’s what we’re doing to do. From now on, all posts that are not particularly funny will be tagged, “Dan Rice”. That way, when you write to me and say, “THAT POST SUCKED” I can say, “Well, I guess you didn’t see it was tagged Dan Rice!” And then you’ll be too confused to reply, which is all I’ve ever wanted.
3. REGRETSY IN THE NEWS
Two cool things in the last two days.
The delightful Liana Maeby has taken it upon herself to remake three Regretsy featured crafts. I think she has the most luck with the trash bag pants, which I’m expecting to see on Etsy’s front page today.
Click the image to see the story
And secondly, a swell slide show in Fast Company this morning.
Click the image to see the piece
Thanks to Fast Company for being careful to include links to the Etsy sellers featured. I hope they see lots of traffic today.
4. PUMPKIN CONTEST REMINDER
You have until midnight tonight to submit your pumpkin carving photos!
And let me warn you, the competition is tough. I’ve had entries from all over the world, including a pumpkin decorated with pubic hair, a disturbing one from Korea that I can’t talk about and this one, which I think says it all.
The prizes for this contest are breathtaking, as I’m sure you can imagine.
Winners will be posted tomorrow. Although technically, there are no winners at Regretsy.
