4 Things
1. AID FOR AIDAN
Our hand knit balaclava auction on Ebay raised $1700 for Aidan Reed!
Thanks to everyone who made it possible. And thank you for your prompt payment! More than half of you have already paid, and your masks are on their way.
You have also purchased hundreds of Aidan’s drawings, which has been a huge help to his family. And he is getting media coverage from all over the world.
I don’t know what to tell you about the photo. Someone sent it to me and I had to get it off my desk as quickly as possible.
2. IMPORTANT MAIL FROM THE MAILBAG
Dan makes a good point. I’m sure there are a lot of you who would just like to read sad stories about people in need all day, unfettered by comedic content. And God knows there aren’t enough places online to get depressed.
So here’s what we’re doing to do. From now on, all posts that are not particularly funny will be tagged, “Dan Rice”. That way, when you write to me and say, “THAT POST SUCKED” I can say, “Well, I guess you didn’t see it was tagged Dan Rice!” And then you’ll be too confused to reply, which is all I’ve ever wanted.
3. REGRETSY IN THE NEWS
Two cool things in the last two days.
The delightful Liana Maeby has taken it upon herself to remake three Regretsy featured crafts. I think she has the most luck with the trash bag pants, which I’m expecting to see on Etsy’s front page today.
Click the image to see the story
And secondly, a swell slide show in Fast Company this morning.
Click the image to see the piece
Thanks to Fast Company for being careful to include links to the Etsy sellers featured. I hope they see lots of traffic today.
4. PUMPKIN CONTEST REMINDER
You have until midnight tonight to submit your pumpkin carving photos!
And let me warn you, the competition is tough. I’ve had entries from all over the world, including a pumpkin decorated with pubic hair, a disturbing one from Korea that I can’t talk about and this one, which I think says it all.
The prizes for this contest are breathtaking, as I’m sure you can imagine.
Winners will be posted tomorrow. Although technically, there are no winners at Regretsy.
October 28, 2010 at 11:31 am
Is Dan married to Anne? Her stuff sucks, too, so it’s like a mneuomonic device..
October 28, 2010 at 11:32 am
I am very thankful that last photo is blurry.
October 28, 2010 at 11:32 am
I love that Regretsy is literally the only place on earth where I giggle with delight when I see a vaguely menacing naked guy in a ski mask.
October 28, 2010 at 11:36 am
I’m laughing so hard at this post (“God knows there aren’t enough places online to get depressed.”) that I nearly drove my pumpkin carving knife through my hand! I know, multitasking in this instance is probably mormonic.
October 28, 2010 at 11:45 am
WTF is on that woman’s head? And that pumpkin guy is what nightmares are made of!
October 28, 2010 at 11:46 am
Yay Aidan! I’m hoping to get one of his Vampire prints. : )
October 28, 2010 at 11:49 am
I’m glad of the money raised for Aidan (I received my stegosaurus drawing on Monday).
I think Dan Rice needs to laugh a little more.
And I apologize that I haven’t even started my pumpkin carving yet. I was set to be an example for everyone else to show that even their carving skills are better than mine.
I’ll get to it soon, but I’m busy getting all sexed up because the disabled guy returned last night from a five-week visit to the in-laws’ house. He missed me.
(Part of that last paragraph is completely untrue. Or all of it).
October 28, 2010 at 11:58 am
I know I’m going to get thumbs-downed for this, but I kind of understand Dan’s point. Different people like different kinds of humor, and maybe he’s not into snark. Maybe he’s into knock-knock jokes or really bad puns or something like that. But even folks who disagree with the snark can get behind the charity.
Well really, if you aren’t into snark, you might be in the wrong place. You don’t see me going to memorial sites and asking for more jokes. – HK
October 28, 2010 at 12:09 pm
I think you might need to ask for captions to the top photo, or at least give it a post of its own–it’s truly inspired. Is that a mother-of-pearl Wingdings template? The whole composition is priceless. Thank you once again for sharing.
October 28, 2010 at 12:17 pm
Just seeing the phone again reminds me of the hilarious cryabeetus from that seller.
October 28, 2010 at 12:31 pm
Man Dan has really mastered the shit sandwich hasn’t he?
October 28, 2010 at 12:33 pm
@ Mr. Dan Rice
I, sir, take great offense at your desire to have a charity-only tag. If you feel so strongly about helping others, find a nice charity you can volunteer your time and money.
I love being a snarky bastard with a cold, black heart, which can only be melted for very special events, as directed by the high mistress of Regretsy. I will be a generous as I care to be and you can be as generous as you care to be.
Is there a charity I can contribute to that will lead you to shut up for 10 minutes?
Best Regards
Reggie
October 28, 2010 at 12:42 pm
Dear Dan,
We know you meant well, but the general consensus here is: please shut your type hole.
October 28, 2010 at 12:51 pm
The first photo is what scientist call the Crybabyosaurus. The skull plates extend across the facial area so that the Crybabyosaurus would not have to see, smell or taste anything offensive. Unfortuately, the Crybabyosaurus could still hear snark. The species adapted a thicker skull over the years until it only voted for Tea Party Dinosaurs and prayed to Dinosaur Jesus.
October 28, 2010 at 12:55 pm
I am so eagerly awaiting my awesome Stegosaurus print, and my terrifying balaclava. I’ll probably hide the balaclava for fear of the nightmares, but the Stegosaurus is going on display.
October 28, 2010 at 1:03 pm
Dan Rice does not like to spend his time on this kind of thing. He prefers to spend his time sending self-absorbed emails to the owners of websites he only enjoys halfway.
RE: the flesh-colored rubber mask in the first photo, allow me to predict that someone will use this to draw different faces with a dry-erase marker.
October 28, 2010 at 1:07 pm
Uhhh, in the last pic, the guy having some quality time with gourds? Is that his GOATSE in the pumpkin? I think I see the vaguest hint of nut sackage glowing in the bottom of the pumpkin.
October 28, 2010 at 1:13 pm
@ Easily_Distracted
“Mother of Pearl wingdings template”??? Genious! I didn’t see that till you pointed it out. Fuck anyone who says that Regretsy is not a place of higher learning. I “learnt” something today and I am better for it…although I will have nightmares about the pink plastic headgear.
October 28, 2010 at 1:18 pm
I might want to visit the planet from which the first creatures hails from, I find it oddly appealing.
Dan might want to light up his jack-o-lantern and put some pumpkin pasties on . He’ll feel much better.
October 28, 2010 at 1:24 pm
i LOVE that first photo. very leigh bowery-esque.
October 28, 2010 at 2:12 pm
@#3 Captaincavegirl– I love that Regretsy might be the only place in the cyberverse where people are still using literally correctly. Bless you.
October 28, 2010 at 3:00 pm
I particularly like the name necklace he/she/it is wearing in the first photo.
October 28, 2010 at 3:36 pm
I think the necklace is some sort of alien code breaker. It could prove to help us understand the head-encapsulating blob, if only we are intelligent enough to figure it out. Damn, I don’t think I am.
October 28, 2010 at 4:41 pm
*whimper*
Whatever that is in the first photo, please make it go away…
October 28, 2010 at 4:55 pm
I feel so honored to have made the Worst of Etsy list.
My mom is not amused but I sure as hell am!
October 28, 2010 at 5:49 pm
Okay, I’m turning into a sewing geek, but did anyone else notice the trashbag pants she made actually fit reasonably well?
That pink head-thing is oddly disturbing. It feels somehow like it belongs in one of those foreign (usually Japanese or Korean) horror movies the DH watches from time to time, and always sums up as,”I shouldn’t have watched that. It’ll take days to get it out of my brain.”
Oh, Danny Boy, better be careful. You’ll end up on a Regretsy t-shirt, raising money for charity with snark.
Anyone else going to RiffTrax tonight?
October 28, 2010 at 6:11 pm
RE: The 1st picture. I didn’t know anyone had ever successfully managed to photograph one of the Elder Gods.
October 28, 2010 at 7:23 pm
I was wondering before I started reading the post, “Who the heck is Dan Rice?” as I saw where it was filed under.
I thought it was someone big in the news and I was just under a rock. This is much funnier!
You can’t mention a disturbing pumpkin from Korea and not elaborate on that one. Tease.
October 28, 2010 at 7:33 pm
I think Dan Rice just made himself the new Kate Gosselin. Hardly newsworthy but somehow manages to make the front page with complete douchebaggery none the less.
Am i wrong or does the pink mask thingy look like old school rubber pants come modern art uterus?
October 28, 2010 at 8:11 pm
DAMN it. I did the pumpkin pasties, too.
October 28, 2010 at 8:35 pm
Oh, I get it! The pumpkin carving, as well as I can make it out is of a uterus and fallopian tubes and there is a little bun in the oven, hence the accompanying pumpkin ta tas.
October 29, 2010 at 10:37 am
With all of the candy at work today, I’ll NEVER get back to my original weight, which is 6 lb. 13 oz. Which segues nicely into my next thought,which is that the first photo IS of a uterus, and someone tried to go back to their birthplace; but because they did not get back to their original weight, only their head fit. That’s my story, and I’m stickin’ to it!