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Spayless – NSFW

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81 comments on Spayless – NSFW

  1. twinkletoes
    October 25, 2010 at 4:37 pm

    Just the sort of thing I’d expect from Detroit.

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  2. Buzzkill Crying Glitter Eagle
    October 25, 2010 at 4:37 pm

    Those shoes would go great with my “sexy garden gnome” costume.

    Thumb up Thumb down +21

  3. Whisperia
    October 25, 2010 at 4:37 pm

    I’ll be needing to work the phrase “butt-fucking awesome” into my vocabulary as often as possible.

    Thumb up Thumb down +170

  4. Patty got abducted by a Steampunk Alien
    October 25, 2010 at 4:38 pm

    “They aren’t flimsy or delicate but please use common sense when caring for these shoes, and they will last you a long long time!”

    Why is the seller insisting *I* use something when they so clearly did not?

    Thumb up Thumb down +43

  5. Buzzkill Crying Glitter Eagle
    October 25, 2010 at 4:38 pm

    “Porno Flats” — isn’t that a town in New Mexico?

    Thumb up Thumb down +118

  6. donuthole
    October 25, 2010 at 4:39 pm

    Porno flats, sounds like the seedy part of town.

    Thumb up Thumb down +49

  7. donuthole
    October 25, 2010 at 4:41 pm

    Humph, I thought my stilletos were the most effective ‘come fuck me’ shoes.

    Thumb up Thumb down +53

  8. DTKMKihn.blogspot.com
    October 25, 2010 at 4:41 pm

    And where would one wear such erotic shoes? Maybe to teach kindergarten or Sunday school?

    Thumb up Thumb down +27

  9. MyEyesMyEyes
    October 25, 2010 at 4:41 pm

    I have officially seen it all!

    Frankly, these shoes would make more sense if they were on a man’s shoe that way the dude could look at boobies all day long!

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  10. MyEyesMyEyes
    October 25, 2010 at 4:43 pm

    “They are waterproof, but they should not be put in the washing machine. To clean them just wipe with a damp cloth.”

    I can only think of one thing that would cause these shoes to need a good washing but I thought hookers all wore heels and not flats.

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

  11. Wilma Fingerdoo
    October 25, 2010 at 4:45 pm

    Why flats?
    I would think pumps would be more suitable for this “art”.

    Thumb up Thumb down +64

  12. rrchristner
    October 25, 2010 at 4:45 pm

    It’s porntastic!

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  13. donuthole
    October 25, 2010 at 4:48 pm

    ‘you will get so many comments’

    Yeah, & none of them remotely welcomed by most sane women.

    Thumb up Thumb down +116

  14. HelenaHandbasket
    October 25, 2010 at 4:49 pm

    These must be to rest their stripper/hooker tootsies, on the rare day off.

    Thumb up Thumb down +26

  15. quirkymom
    October 25, 2010 at 4:49 pm

    if there were more ass sex references, i would SO purchases these! (oh, and if they were in a 5/12 too).

    Thumb up Thumb down +29

  16. suedonim
    October 25, 2010 at 4:50 pm

    I can’t wait to see the matching purse.

    Thumb up Thumb down +65

  17. drapesofwrath
    October 25, 2010 at 4:54 pm

    I think those go with Heff’s smoking jacket.

    Thumb up Thumb down +15

  18. rubypony
    October 25, 2010 at 4:56 pm

    Nice. Wear those to your f*ckin’ family’s house for f*ckin’ Thanksgiving and if they say a f*ckin’ word to you you tell them to shut the f*ck up! They can’t tell you what to f*ckin’ do! Remember, you’re a f*ckin’ artist in the know who’s expressin’ yourself!

    Thumb up Thumb down +53

  19. AngieLee25
    October 25, 2010 at 4:57 pm

    The actual craftmanship: not so good. I guess that’s what you get when you craft ‘one handed’.

    Thumb up Thumb down +44

  20. captaincavegirl
    October 25, 2010 at 4:58 pm

    They missed a real opportunity by not using fuck-me pumps.

    Thumb up Thumb down +30

  21. zeroonezeroone
    October 25, 2010 at 4:58 pm

    now if they made a tuxedo like this I’d be all about it.

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

  22. waningestrogen
    October 25, 2010 at 4:59 pm

    “I purposely made these in a size I can’t wear because I knew I would want to keep them for myself, I might just have to make myself a pair that is similar!”

    Hindsight is always 20/20.

    Hey, with enough hindsight you could probably watch the butt- . . .

    Err, never mind.

    Thumb up Thumb down +39

  23. pearls-before-swine
    October 25, 2010 at 5:00 pm

    If I had an extra $40 laying around, I would purchase these. And put them on rush delivery.

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

  24. kittyno
    October 25, 2010 at 5:03 pm

    If only they were Vibram FiveFingers…

    Thumb up Thumb down +23

  25. inmediasres
    October 25, 2010 at 5:04 pm

    I can so picture wearing those to the office. Or, you know, church.

    Is there honestly a nice market for ladies’ shoes with pictures of porn ads (for women, no less – maybe the dudes just aren’t hot enough to warrant shoe real estate) on them? I can’t even come up with something truly smarmy to say about this; I feel so defeated.

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

  26. ravenmaiden
    October 25, 2010 at 5:10 pm

    It’d take a very special lady to pull off these shoes! Fortunately, I’m not that special!!
    I agree, f**k me pumps would have been a much better choice

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  27. denisewalks
    October 25, 2010 at 5:14 pm

    I totally need to get these for my next PTA meeting.

    Thumb up Thumb down +32

  28. literarytorsion
    October 25, 2010 at 5:16 pm

    Gosh, I hope 1-888-ASIAN-TWAT doesn’t sue them for unlawful use of a corporate symbol.

    Thumb up Thumb down +38

  29. unseeliepixie
    October 25, 2010 at 5:22 pm

    I wonder if they make that little ‘poof’ of air noise when you walk in them…

    Thumb up Thumb down +19

  30. flare
    October 25, 2010 at 5:25 pm

    Wow! finally perfect shoes to wear for my wedding!

    Thumb up Thumb down +20

  31. captaincavegirl
    October 25, 2010 at 5:27 pm

    @18 – A gentleman wouldn’t mention that!

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  32. razberries
    October 25, 2010 at 5:28 pm

    She must have been totally stoned when she made these, as she has a section of the shop, “reefer madness” that specializes in a bunch of pot-related items. Funny, I always thought porn was equated with cocaine, not mary jane ;-)

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  33. Qui
    October 25, 2010 at 5:29 pm

    Free advertising for prostitutes!

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  34. D Awdrey-Gore
    October 25, 2010 at 5:30 pm

    I LOVE THEM!!!!!!

    sadly, two sizes too big.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  35. mtopia
    October 25, 2010 at 5:35 pm

    This is just what the world needs: shoes with a comic book font screaming, “BLOW JOBS!” So elegant.

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  36. quokkaqueen
    October 25, 2010 at 5:36 pm

    Raz @ 20.

    Well, it is the same seller who gave us the “The Pot Pot” a few months ago…

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  37. Nico
    October 25, 2010 at 5:39 pm

    First there were fuck-me boots, now there are get-me-drunk-and-fuck-me flats. Life used to be so much simpler.

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  38. donuthole
    October 25, 2010 at 5:39 pm

    To borrow from Nike & their ad campaign:’Just Screw it’

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  39. knittin-kitten
    October 25, 2010 at 5:40 pm

    Please remember to wear only one porn themed accessory at a time. Wearing these with the Kuntface t-shirt would be a fashion faux pas.

    Thumb up Thumb down +43

  40. bootsychoo
    October 25, 2010 at 5:43 pm

    Blowing the clerk? Maybe for Manolo’s, not so much for Payless brand.

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  41. WhyLikeThis
    October 25, 2010 at 5:50 pm

    now there’s a switch!
    shoes WITH a fetish.

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  42. knittin-kitten
    October 25, 2010 at 5:51 pm

    Do you have to be over eighteen to purchase these?

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  43. donuthole
    October 25, 2010 at 5:52 pm

    New reductions on these brands:
    Sixty Nine West
    Birkencock
    Mephistoyou

    Thumb up Thumb down +52

  44. WhyLikeThis
    October 25, 2010 at 5:56 pm

    there’s something to be said for this idea actually.
    it is the direct approach and they look a lot more comfortable than other shoes that scream “fuck me”

    unfortunately in execution they make you look like a bag lady who wrapped her feet in old magazines for warmth

    Thumb up Thumb down +30

  45. MAG
    October 25, 2010 at 5:59 pm

    Wouldn’t stilletto’s be more appropriate than flats.

    Thumb up Thumb down -2

  46. razberries
    October 25, 2010 at 6:15 pm

    @whylikethis- yeah, that image brings to mind lucille ball in the “stone pillow” movie…

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  47. Lola
    October 25, 2010 at 6:31 pm

    And they’re in my size! Perfect!

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  48. trousers rolled
    October 25, 2010 at 6:34 pm

    I could see Laura Petrie in these after Dick Van Dyke headed off to work. They’d be swell with her black capri pants.

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

  49. donuthole
    October 25, 2010 at 6:39 pm

    They could cause corns & callouses:
    ‘areas of thick hard skin usually developing due to rubbing over a boney prominence’

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  50. Bronc Drywall
    October 25, 2010 at 6:41 pm

    I believe proper attribution is required here. The phrase “butt-fucking awesome” was originally used by Bertrand Russell, if I’m not mistaken.

    Thumb up Thumb down +18

  51. Billy Goetse Gruff
    October 25, 2010 at 6:44 pm

    These would look butt-fucking awesome on a bag lady with gi-normous cankles! ooooh yeah

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  52. Martha_May
    October 25, 2010 at 6:50 pm

    It’s a sad day when the fuck-me-heels look subtler than a pair of flats.

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  53. KenriH
    October 25, 2010 at 6:54 pm

    Damn, she must have the good weed because these shoes are crazy. The least she could’ve done was work the layout better. Also for butt fucking awesome porno shoes I see no actual but fucking or penetration. What lame porno is she reading anyway?

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  54. mitte
    October 25, 2010 at 6:54 pm

    This next piece is this season’s must have. You can wear them strolling about shaking your small change in your pockets and trying to “accidentally” graze some tits on the bus OR at any formal event you’d want to get your ass kicked out of.

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  55. donuthole
    October 25, 2010 at 6:56 pm

    @Bronc-you’re correct about Bertram Russell having coined the term ‘butt fucking awesome’
    That’s exactly what he said when Hitler was defeated.

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  56. donuthole
    October 25, 2010 at 7:01 pm

    *Bertrand*

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  57. Booya
    October 25, 2010 at 7:01 pm

    not even tagged as mature! sheesh!

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  58. whimsiclesthenics
    October 25, 2010 at 7:35 pm

    As soon as I get a skirt decoupaged with great feature articles and a blouse with really good music reviews, I’m going to buy these for my Providence Phoenix costume.

    (Can I get a whup whup from the New Englanders in the house?)

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  59. Estrella
    October 25, 2010 at 7:38 pm

    I have to have these.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  60. mamabaer77
    October 25, 2010 at 7:55 pm

    COMPARE AND SAVE!!

    Porno flats: $40

    A walk through the truck stop men’s room, picking up trash on your feet: free!

    YOU SAVE $40!! Butt-fucking awesome, cunt ass!

    Thumb up Thumb down +18

  61. DamnitsGlam
    October 25, 2010 at 8:28 pm

    I think I see the maker’s fingerprints in the Mod Podge … might not be a good idea, since there could be a match in some LE database.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  62. anonymom
    October 25, 2010 at 8:32 pm

    Who said that was Mod Podge?

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  63. marymert
    October 25, 2010 at 8:37 pm

    omg, too funny.I just you links to her pot toilet seat and pendants!

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  64. The Blue Kraken
    October 25, 2010 at 9:43 pm

    wow .. pretty amazing. i dont think ive ever seen a pair of shoes in this bad taste….. ever. ..
    on the bonus side these are the perfect pair of shoes to wear to work on the day you WANT to be fired from your job.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  65. evacooper
    October 25, 2010 at 11:35 pm

    the person who sells the pot toilet seat. she should have a banner in her shop: been on regretsy TWICE!

    http://www.regretsy.com/2010/08/31/good-shit/

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  66. katfud
    October 26, 2010 at 12:16 am

    Wow. This puts the “trick” in “trick or treat”.

    And if she wants to put her foot up someone’s ass, she can show them a picture of it first. And probably quote a price.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  67. laughinglurker
    October 26, 2010 at 1:04 am

    Well thank goodness, that’s my Christmass present for my sister sorted out! She wears flats all the time to teach second grade.

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  68. Bill C
    October 26, 2010 at 4:43 am

    It is an absolute injustice to Dave Cummings, the oldest man in porn, to place his image over the little toe. He should by all rights be centered directly over the big toe.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  69. suebe
    October 26, 2010 at 5:52 am

    These would go great with the Glow Penis Pendant
    http://www.etsy.com/listing/59966511/glow-penis-pendant-necklace

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  70. purple_peacock
    October 26, 2010 at 6:24 am

    Hmm…I don’t think I have anything that would go with these shoes…

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  71. ShuffleCara
    October 26, 2010 at 9:45 am

    Pure Michigan baby! Has Governor Granholm seen these?

    I think these qualify as vintage as well, I’m sure I saw some 70′s porn images clip arted on there…

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  72. raven
    October 26, 2010 at 10:36 am

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -6

  73. humalong
    October 26, 2010 at 11:04 am

    The problem with these is for my butt-fucking purposes, they would fall off. I would have preferred a back-strap.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  74. Nahhh
    October 26, 2010 at 2:19 pm

    Decopage? No! Pornopage!!

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  75. Yzziefrog
    October 26, 2010 at 2:28 pm

    Would it be overdoing it to get the XXX bracelet, or is it too matchy-matchy?

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  76. invaderhorizongreen
    October 26, 2010 at 4:15 pm

    ok i dare the person who buys these to wear them in a shady part of town

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  77. truegem
    October 27, 2010 at 1:36 am

    Added bonus – they queef with every step!

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  78. sillysteve
    October 27, 2010 at 11:04 am

    wait, what is that? real?

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  79. sillysteve
    October 27, 2010 at 11:04 am
  80. FadHamburger
    October 27, 2010 at 4:51 pm

    Just my size too!

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

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