Sorry, that’s a penis with a bad case of herpes simplex and some serious discharge. You see Rapunzel in there? Way past medication time for you, sweetie.
god, this shit just writes itself.
the descriptions alone are mint.
1- “who would i give it to? sunday school teacher”
2-”clean with no residue, 3 inches high”
3-”great for parties, sleepovers”
4-”fuzzy pocket dinosaur” (rather than pocket rocket?)
5-”PENIS ONLY”…oops, “pendant only”…well, anyhoo that thing does look like a dick with warts, donuthole
The bookmark did not get a fair treatment at regretsy. It needs to be viewed in a room with a Georgia O’Keeffe painting. Or, I want to see Who Wore It Better.
“These guys are small enough to fit it in your pocket and follow you around all day!!
Name them, play with them, love them, take them to the store, to school, show them to your friends, and fall asleep next to their fuzzy faces.”
@Mandy: How long did it take to assemble this photo collection? (I’m guessing it was either 2 weeks or 10 minutes.) And not to sound ungrateful, but could we help you by suggesting ways to spend your time other than “searching Etsy for things that resemble penises?” j/k
‘Fuzzy pocket dinosaur’? Is that what kids are calling it nowadays?
Reminds me of the time I was gathering driftwood at the lakeshore. I met a friendly guy there who told me a long, convincing, and entirely true (ha) story about a one-eyed brown trout.
That Glee one also reminds me of 8th grade science and the formaldehyde-soaked earthworm we had to dissect. I REALLY didn’t want that image in the same brain space as “penis” thanks so much. Also, neither would be delicious on a cookie.
I want to put the salt & pepper shakers out when my mother comes to visit. And just innocently ask her what the problem is with my vintage milkglass shakers? They’re so retro!
I swear, my first thought when I saw the Rapunzel one was ‘Why does she have a tentacle monster attacking her? I don’t remember THAT being in the fairy tail.”
Also, if those salt and pepper shakers are actually milk glass, she’s screwing herself (well, not literally). Genuine milk glass tends to go for four or five times what she’s got the price set at.
meredith basher birney
October 20, 2010 at 7:13 pm
What exactly is the point of using an acronym if you then spell out the phrase? More importantly, repunzel lives in a tiny penis? Those brothers grimm are crazy SOBs.
$48 for Oreo lollipops that look like they have penises on them. It’s not really a question, I just had to type it to myself to understand it really exists.
Please accept my apology for my much-hated, thoroughly down-voted response in this thread. I did not mean to offend anyone, and I am sorry that I did so. I meant to express my appreciation for this collection, and I clearly did so very clumsily.
bookmark peen -gone to Etsy no mans land
salt & pecker set -sold
Glee weenie-to Etsy never never land
Dino weenie-sold
Infected Rapunzel -also evaporated into the Etsy ether.
The madewithloveandspit shop ( Dino) has very nice finger puppets.
Ya know,if they added a vibrating piece to the pocket dinosaur,I bet it would sell nicely at the porn shops. But then again,it would be difficult to clean.
What’s the point of using an abbreviation if you are going to write out or say the full thing anyway? Isn’t an abbreviation supposed to save time, not add to it? SMH (shaking my head)
October 20, 2010 at 4:37 pm
Whoa,I hope Rapunzel didn’t get any genital warts from that, that, THING.
October 20, 2010 at 4:37 pm
That last one looks like it’s in need of medical treatment. o.O
October 20, 2010 at 4:38 pm
hahahah “Your kids” “pastor’s wife” WTF. How do they not see the resemblance?
October 20, 2010 at 4:40 pm
My Pastor’s wife collects penis bookmarks, so this is perfect.
October 20, 2010 at 4:41 pm
The last thing I want is “These guys are small enough to fit it in your pocket and follow you around all day!!”
*runs and hids*
October 20, 2010 at 4:41 pm
“hey, you wanna’ see my pocket dinosaur? I’ll let you touch it.”
October 20, 2010 at 4:41 pm
Sorry, that’s a penis with a bad case of herpes simplex and some serious discharge. You see Rapunzel in there? Way past medication time for you, sweetie.
October 20, 2010 at 4:42 pm
Pocket dinosaur – my favorite new euphemism
October 20, 2010 at 4:42 pm
god, this shit just writes itself.
the descriptions alone are mint.
1- “who would i give it to? sunday school teacher”
2-”clean with no residue, 3 inches high”
3-”great for parties, sleepovers”
4-”fuzzy pocket dinosaur” (rather than pocket rocket?)
5-”PENIS ONLY”…oops, “pendant only”…well, anyhoo that thing does look like a dick with warts, donuthole
October 20, 2010 at 4:43 pm
#3 and such is the spout where the glory comes out
October 20, 2010 at 4:46 pm
Pity the poor sucker, Mr.Once was filled with Glee, now just a limp dick who can barely mutter ‘gee’.
October 20, 2010 at 4:47 pm
The bookmark did not get a fair treatment at regretsy. It needs to be viewed in a room with a Georgia O’Keeffe painting. Or, I want to see Who Wore It Better.
October 20, 2010 at 4:47 pm
“These guys are small enough to fit it in your pocket and follow you around all day!!
Name them, play with them, love them, take them to the store, to school, show them to your friends, and fall asleep next to their fuzzy faces.”
I think I’ll call mine “Dick” !
October 20, 2010 at 4:51 pm
Is that a dinosaur in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
Oh, it IS a dinosuar. I see…
October 20, 2010 at 4:52 pm
I’m crocheting a bunch of those bookmarks right now for our church craft sale. Sweet.
October 20, 2010 at 4:52 pm
I only see penises because I WANT to see penises.
October 20, 2010 at 4:53 pm
Maybe it’s just my laptop, but the “L” looks more like a turd that someone stepped on than a penis. Unless it’s a penis that someone stepped on?
October 20, 2010 at 4:55 pm
“They are usually 3 1/2 inches tall, 2 inches long, and 1 inch fat.” She must have dated my ex-boyfriend.
June 30, 2011 at 11:57 am
HIYOOOOOO!!!!
October 20, 2010 at 4:56 pm
Just my luck; it’s always the 3 1/2″ ones that follow me around all day.
October 20, 2010 at 4:56 pm
Penii!!!
Everything looks like penii!!!
October 20, 2010 at 4:56 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
October 20, 2010 at 4:59 pm
At first, I thought the “These are cute, but who would I give it to?” was the Regretsy commentary.
October 20, 2010 at 5:02 pm
I bought the S & P shakers. Couldn’t resist! Where else would you find such a closely-matched pair?
October 20, 2010 at 5:07 pm
It’s good to know it’s not just me that see penises everywhere.
I will say I love the pocket dinosaur! So cute and portable.
October 20, 2010 at 5:09 pm
I dig the pocket dino as much as the rest of you, but the name of the shop is ‘madewithloveandspit’…….
October 20, 2010 at 5:11 pm
Yay! Penises! After sooo many posts about vaginas, we Y chromos get our day! Huzzah!
October 20, 2010 at 5:13 pm
I want the pattern for the bookmark, they make great Christmas gifts!
October 20, 2010 at 5:18 pm
The disabled guy has been visiting his relatives 800 miles away for a month now. I’m a little, uh, lonely. Everywhere I look, I’m seeing penises.
Then I come to Regretsy and…
GODDAMMIT!
October 20, 2010 at 5:28 pm
The shakers are fantastic. Escuse me, will you please pass the penis? I mean the salt? o.O
October 20, 2010 at 5:33 pm
Dear Rapunzel “artist” – I don’t think I’ve ever found anything “framilar”. And if I did, I probably wouldn’t tell anyone. Love, WM
October 20, 2010 at 5:43 pm
‘Fuzzy pocket dinosaur’? Is that what kids are calling it nowadays?
Reminds me of the time I was gathering driftwood at the lakeshore. I met a friendly guy there who told me a long, convincing, and entirely true (ha) story about a one-eyed brown trout.
October 20, 2010 at 5:47 pm
That’s exactly what Great Aunt Tildy needs! She’s been a bit on edge lately.
October 20, 2010 at 5:50 pm
That Glee one also reminds me of 8th grade science and the formaldehyde-soaked earthworm we had to dissect. I REALLY didn’t want that image in the same brain space as “penis” thanks so much. Also, neither would be delicious on a cookie.
October 20, 2010 at 5:53 pm
I want to put the salt & pepper shakers out when my mother comes to visit. And just innocently ask her what the problem is with my vintage milkglass shakers? They’re so retro!
October 20, 2010 at 5:53 pm
Why is it always about the penis?
[I actually like that first one. But I'll make my own, tyvm.]
October 20, 2010 at 5:56 pm
P.S. I don’t remember the last time I laughed so hard over so many comments on one post.
October 20, 2010 at 5:59 pm
Knittin’ Kitten, Patty you know you’ll be the only ones seeing penises everywhere:
http://accidentalpenis.com/
And it IS SFW!
October 20, 2010 at 6:12 pm
This might be TMI, but my penis looks exactly like that bookmark.
October 20, 2010 at 6:14 pm
Sigmund Freud would be proud.
October 20, 2010 at 6:14 pm
Pass the salt and …salt.
October 20, 2010 at 6:16 pm
………..Is Rapunzel gonna get nailed in the urethra? That’s some fucked up hetai shit going on there, then.
October 20, 2010 at 6:16 pm
#31 might wanna see a doctor about that, especially if it’s flat all the time
October 20, 2010 at 6:20 pm
Pastor, here’s something I crocheted for you. It’s a bookmark for your Bible. See, it’s a heart atop a miniature “mile-a-minit” afghan strip.
What do you mean, you don’t see it?
What are you doing with that fig leaf?
Ingrate. *pout*
October 20, 2010 at 6:39 pm
I need a new set of salt and pecker shakers
October 20, 2010 at 6:50 pm
I swear, my first thought when I saw the Rapunzel one was ‘Why does she have a tentacle monster attacking her? I don’t remember THAT being in the fairy tail.”
Also, if those salt and pepper shakers are actually milk glass, she’s screwing herself (well, not literally). Genuine milk glass tends to go for four or five times what she’s got the price set at.
October 20, 2010 at 6:51 pm
The little “heart” on the bookmark even has one lobe that dangles a little lower than the other. Now that’s craftmanship!
October 20, 2010 at 7:13 pm
What exactly is the point of using an acronym if you then spell out the phrase? More importantly, repunzel lives in a tiny penis? Those brothers grimm are crazy SOBs.
October 20, 2010 at 7:48 pm
$48 for Oreo lollipops that look like they have penises on them. It’s not really a question, I just had to type it to myself to understand it really exists.
October 20, 2010 at 8:05 pm
Please accept my apology for my much-hated, thoroughly down-voted response in this thread. I did not mean to offend anyone, and I am sorry that I did so. I meant to express my appreciation for this collection, and I clearly did so very clumsily.
October 20, 2010 at 8:16 pm
At least the Oreo one is made for sucking…
October 20, 2010 at 9:02 pm
for some reason i can’t get the theme from “Shaft” out of my head
weird
October 20, 2010 at 11:24 pm
I’d definitely give that bookmark to a pastor’s wife.
October 21, 2010 at 2:12 am
I’ll show you my pocket dinosaur if you show me yours.
October 21, 2010 at 2:35 am
Penii status update:
bookmark peen -gone to Etsy no mans land
salt & pecker set -sold
Glee weenie-to Etsy never never land
Dino weenie-sold
Infected Rapunzel -also evaporated into the Etsy ether.
The madewithloveandspit shop ( Dino) has very nice finger puppets.
October 21, 2010 at 10:19 am
Ya know,if they added a vibrating piece to the pocket dinosaur,I bet it would sell nicely at the porn shops. But then again,it would be difficult to clean.
October 21, 2010 at 2:32 pm
Clearly the Rapunzel pendant is really modeled after the Dinky Digger and has nothing whatsoever to do with Rapunzel.
Here’s the two side by side: http://i415.photobucket.com/albums/pp238/sticksandtunes/Regretsy/rapunzelisdinky.jpg?t=1287696705
October 21, 2010 at 2:36 pm
Okay, I suppose you could make it relate to Rapunzel if you rewrite the story to include her obsession with German-made vibrators.
October 21, 2010 at 3:06 pm
Hilarious post! I bet the bookmark lady realised the resemblence, she would have never thought of pastor’s wife otherwise!
October 21, 2010 at 3:20 pm
Well, I’m glad there is no residue in the salt shaker…
October 21, 2010 at 4:02 pm
Fuzzy pocket dinosaur! Finally, a new euphemism for my penis!
October 22, 2010 at 9:44 am
that rapunzel pendant would look great on a pearl necklace.
October 22, 2010 at 2:53 pm
Salt and pepper? You brought her!
October 22, 2010 at 8:24 pm
gee crafters what have we told you 1000 times or more about using flesh colored putty/yarn/glass/ etc…
January 7, 2011 at 7:19 pm
Oh! I need a new dickmark!
March 31, 2011 at 1:48 pm
What’s the point of using an abbreviation if you are going to write out or say the full thing anyway? Isn’t an abbreviation supposed to save time, not add to it? SMH (shaking my head)
June 30, 2011 at 10:37 am
From now on, when everybody asks if I’m pregnant, I’m going to say, “Nope, I was just playing with my husband’s fuzzy pocket dinosaur”.
June 30, 2011 at 7:02 pm
I’m trying really hard to see a penis in the Glee lolly, but all I see is poo. I will have a drink and try again.