*If you’ve got a dream about Obama, it may look something this*
Actually, it would not. My dream would have more jobs and a protected environment.
Not unicorn jizz and roses all over our current President.
@CallMeMacPhisto I’m just a few hours away, and I get Rose City, but last time I was in Portland, roses weren’t flying from anyone’s crotch. I’ll admit though, Obama wasn’t there so maybe that is why.
so lets see obama is afraid the unicorn will get him so if he can cover himself in roses it will not see him, meanwhile the bridge and city are making bets on what the outcome will be
I can only imagine what an Etsy alchemy request for a painting like this would say.
“Obama in the foreground, unicorn lurking behind. Maybe a bridge, some roses – it doesn’t have to make sense. Please try to appropriately capture our president’s ‘funky soul’.”
Of course it’s Portland. Where else would Obama go wading in a river with roses and a unicorn. This doesn’t happen in just any old city. It takes a special one.
#27 WhyLikeThis – I think it really needs puffy cats to truly capture the proper Lisa Frank vibe. In fact, the Regretsy cat is just begging to make an appearance…
FALSE. If you were really standing in the Willamette, you would probably be sweating blood or growing hair from your eyeballs. Although the unicorn could possibly be a hallucinatory side effect.
Those roses bursting from his crotch are bound to scratch him up plenty. And having swum in the Willamette, I can assure you that those sores won’t be healing up anytime soon. The scars will outlast his presidency.
Let’s see – the perspective is a little off, but triangulating from the Broadway Bridge and the KOIN Tower, that would have him wading ashore in about 60 feet of navigable water right at the big grain loading facility below the Steel Bridge.
Wait a sec guys, we’re reading this the wrong way! He’s *paying* someone to take this POS! Here, read it again: “I’m moving to a new office, and it won’t match my decor. Take it for $100″ Woo-hoo!!!!
I love that Obama is apparently a little gangsta. He is holding his sagged pants up by the belt buckle.
The one thing that Obama has always, without doubt, had going for himself was pants that held themselves up and this artist took that away from him.
Oddly enough, I DID have a dream about Obama just the other night. I was sharing the private dining car on a train with him and Michelle. Unbeknownst to us, but knownst to my subconscious, there was a horrible Blob-like alien oozing its way from car to car of the speeding train, devouring all in its path! Eventually, we had to fight for our lives.
I was rather perturbed upon waking, but had I dreamed this scene, I would have woken up screaming.
#60, I had to click the link because I thought you were joking. You weren’t of course. The first thought I had was “I hope Betty White saved this cover and had it framed.” The second thought I had was “Ritter is actually pretty hot as a centaur.” Now I’m wondering if I need a therapist. Thank you ever so much.
1) Unicorn Jizz
2) The fact that the artist actually SIGNED and TOOK CREDIT for it
3) The unicorn is clearly stealing the show back there. Look at that motherfucker working that camera.
My concern:
If I hadn’t been told it was Obama, I would be wondering why Ludacris or Kanye was covered in unicorn jizz and frolicking in the river.
This was supposed to be ridiculous and it actually appeared in the Willamette Week as a tongue-in-cheek illustration of Portlanders’ ridiculous obsession for Obama as is he were a heartthrob in a Harlequin Romance novel: http://wweek.com/editorial/3425/10910/
The print is actually probably worth more than that, for its appearance in the WW. That said, I wouldn’t want it in my office (or elsewhere).
Given the raging idolatry displayed by the artist, I’m surprised Barky’s not walking on the surface of the water instead of a few feet beneath it, or even floating above it in a cloud of sparkly jizz. Must have been a bad day for them both.
That is straight up AWESOME! And I’m a libertarian, ergo, I fucking hate Obama and everything he represents (#notracistfuckyou).
Nonetheless, the sheer genius behind the addition of the unicorn really sealed the deal.
LOLing at #71 thatdingo. I will probably think of this now every time we drive the stretch of freeway overlooking that.
I showed it to the DH, and he laughed too. So when I start giggling by the grain elevators, I’ll just have to say “That Obama painting on Regretsy,” and we’ll both giggle like idiots.
I always say it’s a good thing we found each other, or else we’d be annoying two normal people to death.
Whoever made this must have forgotten about how polluted the Willamette is… Unless they’ve heard the saying ‘swimming in the Willamette gives you AIDS’ and it’s a racial jab at Obama.
OK, you have your geography facts wrong. This is clearly Obama crossing the Ohio River near the Purple People Bridge. I see Cincinnati on the opposite shore so Obama is wading into Newport and Covington, Kentucky. Obviously this was drawn on Labor Day weekend and the WEBN-Toyota Fest fireworks are exploding on and over the river downtown. That is why the colors are so vibrant. I see that he is holding a Blackberry phone, you can tell by the “B” which is short for “phone”. Now, the unicorn prancing on the Ohio River during a 40 minute fireworks display must be from the unhealthy combination of Ludes and Viagra this artist was consuming with his official WEBN Frog Treebeer.
Also, in case some of you guys didn’t read it, the artist said on his blog that this painting was supposed to be a “riff”, I think. Unless he was talking about the drawing under it. Either way. I think he was trying to be funny.
And the artist has a link to an “improved” version of the painting.
I know I’m a little late to the party, but @boodweg: OMG!!! I had no idea…and now I will not sleep tonight because I will be downloading every one of those images for my next project.
October 7, 2010 at 4:32 pm
I think we found the new cover for the latest Harlequin romance.
October 7, 2010 at 4:33 pm
Is anyone else singing “Chocolate Rain” in their heads as they view this?
October 7, 2010 at 4:38 pm
I love the roses exploding from his crotch!
October 7, 2010 at 4:38 pm
FUCK YEAH PORTLAND!
There’s so many hipsters here, it’s hard NOT to find some Whimsicle Fuckery.
October 7, 2010 at 4:39 pm
Have there been other POTUSes that have been portrayed like this? (apart from Steampunk Lincoln – because he’s a real hottie)
October 7, 2010 at 4:40 pm
that is not a unicorn it is a white horse
October 7, 2010 at 4:41 pm
*looks again*
That’s the Portland skyline, featuring the Broadway Bridge.
DTKMKihn, it’s the Rose City, after all.
October 7, 2010 at 4:41 pm
I can honestly say I have never dreamed of Obama like this. I take this as confirmation that I am in fact straight.
October 7, 2010 at 4:41 pm
why is he all sweaty ?? is he hot and bothered by the unicorn?
October 7, 2010 at 4:41 pm
Oh my god, this is SO wrong! It’s a picture of the president and a unicorn, and he’s not even naked! Where are the pancakes?
October 7, 2010 at 4:41 pm
*If you’ve got a dream about Obama, it may look something this*
Actually, it would not. My dream would have more jobs and a protected environment.
Not unicorn jizz and roses all over our current President.
October 7, 2010 at 4:42 pm
I’m so happy I live across the river from this.
Why does his head have that turtle-popping-out-of-the-shell thing going on?
October 7, 2010 at 4:43 pm
Since when did Obama become Edward Cullen? Damn those sparkles!
October 7, 2010 at 4:43 pm
moving and won’t match the new decor, eh?
Must be going with more of a George W Bush/ flying giraffe/ spidey-sense motif.
October 7, 2010 at 4:43 pm
Holy shit, our President IS A VAMPIRE!!
October 7, 2010 at 4:43 pm
Obama as a sparkly vampire?? With a unicorn?? In Portland??? O Sweet Mother – thy amount of fuckery is just awe-inspiring…..
October 7, 2010 at 4:44 pm
Someone needs to send this to Rahmbamarama.
October 7, 2010 at 4:45 pm
I guess since he swam in the gulf after the spill, it’s safe to assume he’s immune to wading in the Willamette.
October 7, 2010 at 4:45 pm
@CallMeMacPhisto I’m just a few hours away, and I get Rose City, but last time I was in Portland, roses weren’t flying from anyone’s crotch. I’ll admit though, Obama wasn’t there so maybe that is why.
October 7, 2010 at 4:47 pm
@bankai: I turn away from the microphone to breathe.
Yeah. Hell yeah.
October 7, 2010 at 4:48 pm
Didn’t unicorns go extinct on the West coast sometime in the 19 th century, due to a shortage of mousse?
October 7, 2010 at 4:54 pm
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October 7, 2010 at 4:54 pm
#2 – I was more thinking of “what what in the butt”. hehe
October 7, 2010 at 4:55 pm
@DTKMKihn, the roses had to come from SOMEwhere. >_>
October 7, 2010 at 4:55 pm
Wow, this is lucky because it goes perfectly with my Portland-themed, bedazzled decor.
October 7, 2010 at 4:56 pm
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October 7, 2010 at 4:58 pm
how nice
a presidential portrait by Lisa Frank
October 7, 2010 at 5:00 pm
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October 7, 2010 at 5:00 pm
For whatever reason the line “I’m moving to a new office, and it won’t match the decor” makes me laugh the hardest.
October 7, 2010 at 5:04 pm
How could it NOT go with the decor?
October 7, 2010 at 5:06 pm
I’m afraid to ask what he’s holding in his right hand and what that odd brown protruberence is in roughly the crotch area.
Also, is he wearing pants? Because that’s not clear.
October 7, 2010 at 5:07 pm
looks like a bad kanye west. “je-sus walks…”
October 7, 2010 at 5:08 pm
do you think they’d do Kennedy in the same style?
October 7, 2010 at 5:09 pm
If it wasn’t for the prancing unicorn – this would be
an OBAMANATION !!
YES! YES! YES!
October 7, 2010 at 5:22 pm
I can only imagine what an Etsy alchemy request for a painting like this would say.
“Obama in the foreground, unicorn lurking behind. Maybe a bridge, some roses – it doesn’t have to make sense. Please try to appropriately capture our president’s ‘funky soul’.”
October 7, 2010 at 5:25 pm
“P.S. Must match office decor.”
October 7, 2010 at 5:28 pm
Man, fan art sure ain’t what it used to be.
October 7, 2010 at 5:30 pm
I am so glad I wasn’t the only one that instantly saw Kanye here. And that makes the horse jizz make much more sense.
October 7, 2010 at 5:35 pm
@#27: All it needs are kittens and golden retriever puppies… That made me laugh so hard!
@WhyLikeThis: I envision Kennedy emerging from the Chesapeake dressed as the Pope, with dolphins fornicating in the background…
October 7, 2010 at 5:42 pm
Obama came to Madison, WI the other day and I don’t recall any unicorns lurking about.
Maybe all the construction scared them away.
October 7, 2010 at 5:47 pm
$100 for a jizz-stained print?
October 7, 2010 at 5:53 pm
I want to see the office this “went with.” And feeling a little embarrassed to be a Portlander.
October 7, 2010 at 6:01 pm
Dude, I’d insist on a different new office.
October 7, 2010 at 6:02 pm
Hey, Ruth Ginsberg, tell me if THIS is Constitutional!
October 7, 2010 at 6:04 pm
Whaddaya’ wanna’ bet that Sarah Palin has a print of this stashed in a drawer , to be pulled out when her husband is off on an oil rig?
October 7, 2010 at 6:09 pm
This will look great next to my Velvet Elvis!
October 7, 2010 at 6:09 pm
something about the pectoral/nipple area and the collar bone/Adam’s apple area are not quite right looking to me. But the unicorn is pretty kick-ass!
October 7, 2010 at 6:10 pm
I can’t wait for his next text message.
October 7, 2010 at 6:21 pm
Of course it’s Portland. Where else would Obama go wading in a river with roses and a unicorn. This doesn’t happen in just any old city. It takes a special one.
*sniffles* I love you Portland!
October 7, 2010 at 6:26 pm
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October 7, 2010 at 6:28 pm
Now if they had a Neil Patrick Harris version of this, I might actually consider buying it.
October 7, 2010 at 6:41 pm
#27 WhyLikeThis – I think it really needs puffy cats to truly capture the proper Lisa Frank vibe. In fact, the Regretsy cat is just begging to make an appearance…
October 7, 2010 at 6:45 pm
There’s something decidedly “baptism of Jesus” about this.
October 7, 2010 at 6:50 pm
Why is he holding brown Fight Club soap?
October 7, 2010 at 6:55 pm
I’ve never understood the unicorn/Obama connection:
http://tinyurl.com/2c7k9yu
October 7, 2010 at 6:58 pm
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October 7, 2010 at 6:58 pm
Isn’t he holding a belt buckle with his initials on it? Because, of course, he’s….. hell, I don’t know. What DOES the belt buckle signify?
October 7, 2010 at 7:03 pm
Kanye?
October 7, 2010 at 7:13 pm
FALSE. If you were really standing in the Willamette, you would probably be sweating blood or growing hair from your eyeballs. Although the unicorn could possibly be a hallucinatory side effect.
October 7, 2010 at 7:30 pm
John the Baptist was a unicorn?
When it comes to Portland art, I prefer Betty White wielding a chainsaw riding on the back of a John Ritter centaur.
http://www.google.com/images?um=1&hl=en&safe=off&biw=930&bih=735&tbs=isch:1&aq=f&aqi=&oq=&gs_rfai=&q=betty%20white%20portland
October 7, 2010 at 7:41 pm
I’m no Bible scholar, but does it ever specifically say John the Baptist was NOT a unicorn?
October 7, 2010 at 9:12 pm
Where’s the “Funky Soul”? and why is he dressed like a Back Street Boy? Is Funky Soul the brown B he’s holding?
October 7, 2010 at 9:34 pm
I *knew* unicorn sperm would be sparkly.
October 7, 2010 at 9:44 pm
Those roses bursting from his crotch are bound to scratch him up plenty. And having swum in the Willamette, I can assure you that those sores won’t be healing up anytime soon. The scars will outlast his presidency.
October 7, 2010 at 10:04 pm
Best part: it’s a PAINT-BY-NUMBER.
October 8, 2010 at 1:18 am
Well that’s…a refreshing view of the man. Can someone do Sarkozy in the same vein? I’ll pay in internet cookies…^^
October 8, 2010 at 4:20 am
What is with the hands, looks like he has too many fingers on one hand and not enough on the other.
I thought LSD taking was on the decline but I have been mis-informed.
October 8, 2010 at 5:11 am
Exactly what kind of decor does this “match”? I’m afraid to speculate as to what this poster’s previous office must have looked like!
October 8, 2010 at 6:08 am
How could this NOT go with your decor? It goes with EVERYTHING!
October 8, 2010 at 7:22 am
Obama: the Elvis years.
October 8, 2010 at 8:38 am
Let’s see – the perspective is a little off, but triangulating from the Broadway Bridge and the KOIN Tower, that would have him wading ashore in about 60 feet of navigable water right at the big grain loading facility below the Steel Bridge.
Which makes this image completely unbelievable.
October 8, 2010 at 9:21 am
Wait a sec guys, we’re reading this the wrong way! He’s *paying* someone to take this POS! Here, read it again: “I’m moving to a new office, and it won’t match my decor. Take it for $100″ Woo-hoo!!!!
October 8, 2010 at 9:55 am
I love that Obama is apparently a little gangsta. He is holding his sagged pants up by the belt buckle.
The one thing that Obama has always, without doubt, had going for himself was pants that held themselves up and this artist took that away from him.
October 8, 2010 at 9:56 am
Also, I meant “a little gangsta” in that he is a little bit gangsta. Not that he is a gangsta who is short in stature…
October 8, 2010 at 10:10 am
Oddly enough, I DID have a dream about Obama just the other night. I was sharing the private dining car on a train with him and Michelle. Unbeknownst to us, but knownst to my subconscious, there was a horrible Blob-like alien oozing its way from car to car of the speeding train, devouring all in its path! Eventually, we had to fight for our lives.
I was rather perturbed upon waking, but had I dreamed this scene, I would have woken up screaming.
October 8, 2010 at 10:37 am
#60, I had to click the link because I thought you were joking. You weren’t of course. The first thought I had was “I hope Betty White saved this cover and had it framed.” The second thought I had was “Ritter is actually pretty hot as a centaur.” Now I’m wondering if I need a therapist. Thank you ever so much.
October 8, 2010 at 10:55 am
My favorite things about this:
1) Unicorn Jizz
2) The fact that the artist actually SIGNED and TOOK CREDIT for it
3) The unicorn is clearly stealing the show back there. Look at that motherfucker working that camera.
My concern:
If I hadn’t been told it was Obama, I would be wondering why Ludacris or Kanye was covered in unicorn jizz and frolicking in the river.
October 8, 2010 at 11:10 am
This was supposed to be ridiculous and it actually appeared in the Willamette Week as a tongue-in-cheek illustration of Portlanders’ ridiculous obsession for Obama as is he were a heartthrob in a Harlequin Romance novel: http://wweek.com/editorial/3425/10910/
The print is actually probably worth more than that, for its appearance in the WW. That said, I wouldn’t want it in my office (or elsewhere).
knitten-kitten, I heart Portland too. *sniff*
October 8, 2010 at 11:21 am
looks more like jaleel white (steve urkel – family matters) than obama to me…
http://woodenspears.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/jaleel-white-s.jpg
October 8, 2010 at 11:48 am
Given the raging idolatry displayed by the artist, I’m surprised Barky’s not walking on the surface of the water instead of a few feet beneath it, or even floating above it in a cloud of sparkly jizz. Must have been a bad day for them both.
October 8, 2010 at 11:51 am
PLEASE someone make this into a paint by number. Daaaammmmmmmmmmmn
October 8, 2010 at 1:17 pm
1. Is this an ad for Old Spice?
2. I am disturbed by the fact that I am slightly turned on.
October 8, 2010 at 2:24 pm
jmarie: I can’t do it from my office, but here’s a software download to make that happen. http://www.topshareware.com/trial-paint-by-number-software/downloads/1.htm
October 8, 2010 at 2:33 pm
i’m not ashamed to say i love portland and i LOVE this painting! ridiculous, sure, but it’s MAGICAL!
October 8, 2010 at 2:50 pm
That is straight up AWESOME! And I’m a libertarian, ergo, I fucking hate Obama and everything he represents (#notracistfuckyou).
Nonetheless, the sheer genius behind the addition of the unicorn really sealed the deal.
October 8, 2010 at 3:28 pm
Actually, the artist is a kid who draws comics and paints motorcycle helmets and stuff. He did this as a joke…..explanation on his blog:
http://lukasketner.blogspot.com/search?updated-max=2009-10-10T21%3A57%3A00-07%3A00&max-results=7
October 8, 2010 at 4:33 pm
LOLing at #71 thatdingo. I will probably think of this now every time we drive the stretch of freeway overlooking that.
I showed it to the DH, and he laughed too. So when I start giggling by the grain elevators, I’ll just have to say “That Obama painting on Regretsy,” and we’ll both giggle like idiots.
I always say it’s a good thing we found each other, or else we’d be annoying two normal people to death.
October 8, 2010 at 5:16 pm
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October 8, 2010 at 5:20 pm
This makes me endlessly happy……
October 8, 2010 at 6:13 pm
I agree with #6 invaderhorizongreen. It’s not a unicorn, it’s a horse. And further more, I think he needs to be riding the horse. Backwards.
October 9, 2010 at 8:32 am
#26 invaderhorizongreen :
i do not see how my comment is offensive i just pulled it out of a hat and trying to interpret what the “artist” created nothing more
October 9, 2010 at 9:35 am
Whoever made this must have forgotten about how polluted the Willamette is… Unless they’ve heard the saying ‘swimming in the Willamette gives you AIDS’ and it’s a racial jab at Obama.
Who knows? Either way, I’m not swimming in it!
October 9, 2010 at 11:11 am
Waddya mean it won’t match the decor? Doesn’t “too-wrong-for-words” go with everything?
October 9, 2010 at 4:29 pm
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October 9, 2010 at 4:48 pm
#57, his initials don’t end with B. It really looks like the Fight Club soap. Maybe it stands for “baffling”.
October 9, 2010 at 10:16 pm
@94 The artist is dyslexic.
Also, in case some of you guys didn’t read it, the artist said on his blog that this painting was supposed to be a “riff”, I think. Unless he was talking about the drawing under it. Either way. I think he was trying to be funny.
And the artist has a link to an “improved” version of the painting.
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_3FeFUUJiV3s/SK4CJnAROZI/AAAAAAAAAKE/vpjqvf5q5sg/s1600-h/LKetner-BarackOnTheWater.jpg
Sorry if this was already posted.
October 11, 2010 at 9:13 am
Thanks for the link #86humalong – you’re right, the artist is actually really talented. Thank heavens it’s a joke.
October 11, 2010 at 4:10 pm
I find President Obama to be an attractive man, yet I don’t have that type of dream about him.
October 12, 2010 at 12:59 pm
is anyone else thinking ‘Candyman, Candyman, Candyman’ when looking at this?!
October 12, 2010 at 9:07 pm
lol
candy, charrrrrlie, candy!
October 13, 2010 at 12:46 pm
seriously – that bit in Candyman 2(or 3 or X or whatever) where they all get washed into the Mississippi during Mardi Gras….
February 1, 2011 at 5:37 pm
I know I’m a little late to the party, but @boodweg: OMG!!! I had no idea…and now I will not sleep tonight because I will be downloading every one of those images for my next project.
July 23, 2011 at 10:56 am
Looks like Jay-Z to me.
Jigga what?..
Jigga who?…