I think we found the new cover for the latest Harlequin romance.
Is anyone else singing “Chocolate Rain” in their heads as they view this?
I love the roses exploding from his crotch!
FUCK YEAH PORTLAND!
There’s so many hipsters here, it’s hard NOT to find some Whimsicle Fuckery.
Have there been other POTUSes that have been portrayed like this? (apart from Steampunk Lincoln – because he’s a real hottie)
that is not a unicorn it is a white horse
That’s the Portland skyline, featuring the Broadway Bridge.
DTKMKihn, it’s the Rose City, after all.
I can honestly say I have never dreamed of Obama like this. I take this as confirmation that I am in fact straight.
why is he all sweaty ?? is he hot and bothered by the unicorn?
Oh my god, this is SO wrong! It’s a picture of the president and a unicorn, and he’s not even naked! Where are the pancakes?
*If you’ve got a dream about Obama, it may look something this*
Actually, it would not. My dream would have more jobs and a protected environment.
Not unicorn jizz and roses all over our current President.
I’m so happy I live across the river from this.
Why does his head have that turtle-popping-out-of-the-shell thing going on?
Since when did Obama become Edward Cullen? Damn those sparkles!
moving and won’t match the new decor, eh?
Must be going with more of a George W Bush/ flying giraffe/ spidey-sense motif.
Holy shit, our President IS A VAMPIRE!!
Obama as a sparkly vampire?? With a unicorn?? In Portland??? O Sweet Mother – thy amount of fuckery is just awe-inspiring…..
Someone needs to send this to Rahmbamarama.
I guess since he swam in the gulf after the spill, it’s safe to assume he’s immune to wading in the Willamette.
@CallMeMacPhisto I’m just a few hours away, and I get Rose City, but last time I was in Portland, roses weren’t flying from anyone’s crotch. I’ll admit though, Obama wasn’t there so maybe that is why.
@bankai: I turn away from the microphone to breathe.
Yeah. Hell yeah.
Didn’t unicorns go extinct on the West coast sometime in the 19 th century, due to a shortage of mousse?
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Blurgh – this is just vomitous. I like Obama, I just don’t worship him.
#2 – I was more thinking of “what what in the butt”. hehe
@DTKMKihn, the roses had to come from SOMEwhere. >_>
Wow, this is lucky because it goes perfectly with my Portland-themed, bedazzled decor.
so lets see obama is afraid the unicorn will get him so if he can cover himself in roses it will not see him, meanwhile the bridge and city are making bets on what the outcome will be
a presidential portrait by Lisa Frank
thanks all you thumb downers do you even THINK i am being serious ?
For whatever reason the line “I’m moving to a new office, and it won’t match the decor” makes me laugh the hardest.
How could it NOT go with the decor?
I’m afraid to ask what he’s holding in his right hand and what that odd brown protruberence is in roughly the crotch area.
Also, is he wearing pants? Because that’s not clear.
looks like a bad kanye west. “je-sus walks…”
do you think they’d do Kennedy in the same style?
If it wasn’t for the prancing unicorn – this would be
an OBAMANATION !!
YES! YES! YES!
I can only imagine what an Etsy alchemy request for a painting like this would say.
“Obama in the foreground, unicorn lurking behind. Maybe a bridge, some roses – it doesn’t have to make sense. Please try to appropriately capture our president’s ‘funky soul’.”
“P.S. Must match office decor.”
Man, fan art sure ain’t what it used to be.
I am so glad I wasn’t the only one that instantly saw Kanye here. And that makes the horse jizz make much more sense.
@#27: All it needs are kittens and golden retriever puppies… That made me laugh so hard!
@WhyLikeThis: I envision Kennedy emerging from the Chesapeake dressed as the Pope, with dolphins fornicating in the background…
Obama came to Madison, WI the other day and I don’t recall any unicorns lurking about.
Maybe all the construction scared them away.
$100 for a jizz-stained print?
I want to see the office this “went with.” And feeling a little embarrassed to be a Portlander.
Dude, I’d insist on a different new office.
Hey, Ruth Ginsberg, tell me if THIS is Constitutional!
Whaddaya’ wanna’ bet that Sarah Palin has a print of this stashed in a drawer , to be pulled out when her husband is off on an oil rig?
This will look great next to my Velvet Elvis!
something about the pectoral/nipple area and the collar bone/Adam’s apple area are not quite right looking to me. But the unicorn is pretty kick-ass!
I can’t wait for his next text message.
Of course it’s Portland. Where else would Obama go wading in a river with roses and a unicorn. This doesn’t happen in just any old city. It takes a special one.
*sniffles* I love you Portland!
Why is he sweating????
Now if they had a Neil Patrick Harris version of this, I might actually consider buying it.
#27 WhyLikeThis – I think it really needs puffy cats to truly capture the proper Lisa Frank vibe. In fact, the Regretsy cat is just begging to make an appearance…
There’s something decidedly “baptism of Jesus” about this.
Why is he holding brown Fight Club soap?
I’ve never understood the unicorn/Obama connection:
Let’s make a sandwich! Stroke my horn for the ‘magical mayonnaise’
Isn’t he holding a belt buckle with his initials on it? Because, of course, he’s….. hell, I don’t know. What DOES the belt buckle signify?
FALSE. If you were really standing in the Willamette, you would probably be sweating blood or growing hair from your eyeballs. Although the unicorn could possibly be a hallucinatory side effect.
John the Baptist was a unicorn?
When it comes to Portland art, I prefer Betty White wielding a chainsaw riding on the back of a John Ritter centaur.
I’m no Bible scholar, but does it ever specifically say John the Baptist was NOT a unicorn?
Where’s the “Funky Soul”? and why is he dressed like a Back Street Boy? Is Funky Soul the brown B he’s holding?
I *knew* unicorn sperm would be sparkly.
Those roses bursting from his crotch are bound to scratch him up plenty. And having swum in the Willamette, I can assure you that those sores won’t be healing up anytime soon. The scars will outlast his presidency.
Best part: it’s a PAINT-BY-NUMBER.
Well that’s…a refreshing view of the man. Can someone do Sarkozy in the same vein? I’ll pay in internet cookies…^^
What is with the hands, looks like he has too many fingers on one hand and not enough on the other.
I thought LSD taking was on the decline but I have been mis-informed.
Exactly what kind of decor does this “match”? I’m afraid to speculate as to what this poster’s previous office must have looked like!
How could this NOT go with your decor? It goes with EVERYTHING!
Obama: the Elvis years.
Let’s see – the perspective is a little off, but triangulating from the Broadway Bridge and the KOIN Tower, that would have him wading ashore in about 60 feet of navigable water right at the big grain loading facility below the Steel Bridge.
Which makes this image completely unbelievable.
Wait a sec guys, we’re reading this the wrong way! He’s *paying* someone to take this POS! Here, read it again: “I’m moving to a new office, and it won’t match my decor. Take it for $100″ Woo-hoo!!!!
I love that Obama is apparently a little gangsta. He is holding his sagged pants up by the belt buckle.
The one thing that Obama has always, without doubt, had going for himself was pants that held themselves up and this artist took that away from him.
Also, I meant “a little gangsta” in that he is a little bit gangsta. Not that he is a gangsta who is short in stature…
Oddly enough, I DID have a dream about Obama just the other night. I was sharing the private dining car on a train with him and Michelle. Unbeknownst to us, but knownst to my subconscious, there was a horrible Blob-like alien oozing its way from car to car of the speeding train, devouring all in its path! Eventually, we had to fight for our lives.
I was rather perturbed upon waking, but had I dreamed this scene, I would have woken up screaming.
#60, I had to click the link because I thought you were joking. You weren’t of course. The first thought I had was “I hope Betty White saved this cover and had it framed.” The second thought I had was “Ritter is actually pretty hot as a centaur.” Now I’m wondering if I need a therapist. Thank you ever so much.
My favorite things about this:
1) Unicorn Jizz
2) The fact that the artist actually SIGNED and TOOK CREDIT for it
3) The unicorn is clearly stealing the show back there. Look at that motherfucker working that camera.
If I hadn’t been told it was Obama, I would be wondering why Ludacris or Kanye was covered in unicorn jizz and frolicking in the river.
This was supposed to be ridiculous and it actually appeared in the Willamette Week as a tongue-in-cheek illustration of Portlanders’ ridiculous obsession for Obama as is he were a heartthrob in a Harlequin Romance novel: http://wweek.com/editorial/3425/10910/
The print is actually probably worth more than that, for its appearance in the WW. That said, I wouldn’t want it in my office (or elsewhere).
knitten-kitten, I heart Portland too. *sniff*
looks more like jaleel white (steve urkel – family matters) than obama to me…
Given the raging idolatry displayed by the artist, I’m surprised Barky’s not walking on the surface of the water instead of a few feet beneath it, or even floating above it in a cloud of sparkly jizz. Must have been a bad day for them both.
PLEASE someone make this into a paint by number. Daaaammmmmmmmmmmn
1. Is this an ad for Old Spice?
2. I am disturbed by the fact that I am slightly turned on.
jmarie: I can’t do it from my office, but here’s a software download to make that happen. http://www.topshareware.com/trial-paint-by-number-software/downloads/1.htm
i’m not ashamed to say i love portland and i LOVE this painting! ridiculous, sure, but it’s MAGICAL!
That is straight up AWESOME! And I’m a libertarian, ergo, I fucking hate Obama and everything he represents (#notracistfuckyou).
Nonetheless, the sheer genius behind the addition of the unicorn really sealed the deal.
Actually, the artist is a kid who draws comics and paints motorcycle helmets and stuff. He did this as a joke…..explanation on his blog:
LOLing at #71 thatdingo. I will probably think of this now every time we drive the stretch of freeway overlooking that.
I showed it to the DH, and he laughed too. So when I start giggling by the grain elevators, I’ll just have to say “That Obama painting on Regretsy,” and we’ll both giggle like idiots.
I always say it’s a good thing we found each other, or else we’d be annoying two normal people to death.
I love Portland with all my lifeforce. Almost as much as I hate this fuckery.
This makes me endlessly happy……
I agree with #6 invaderhorizongreen. It’s not a unicorn, it’s a horse. And further more, I think he needs to be riding the horse. Backwards.
#26 invaderhorizongreen :
i do not see how my comment is offensive i just pulled it out of a hat and trying to interpret what the “artist” created nothing more
Whoever made this must have forgotten about how polluted the Willamette is… Unless they’ve heard the saying ‘swimming in the Willamette gives you AIDS’ and it’s a racial jab at Obama.
Who knows? Either way, I’m not swimming in it!
Waddya mean it won’t match the decor? Doesn’t “too-wrong-for-words” go with everything?
OK, you have your geography facts wrong. This is clearly Obama crossing the Ohio River near the Purple People Bridge. I see Cincinnati on the opposite shore so Obama is wading into Newport and Covington, Kentucky. Obviously this was drawn on Labor Day weekend and the WEBN-Toyota Fest fireworks are exploding on and over the river downtown. That is why the colors are so vibrant. I see that he is holding a Blackberry phone, you can tell by the “B” which is short for “phone”. Now, the unicorn prancing on the Ohio River during a 40 minute fireworks display must be from the unhealthy combination of Ludes and Viagra this artist was consuming with his official WEBN Frog Treebeer.
#57, his initials don’t end with B. It really looks like the Fight Club soap. Maybe it stands for “baffling”.
@94 The artist is dyslexic.
Also, in case some of you guys didn’t read it, the artist said on his blog that this painting was supposed to be a “riff”, I think. Unless he was talking about the drawing under it. Either way. I think he was trying to be funny.
And the artist has a link to an “improved” version of the painting.
Sorry if this was already posted.
Thanks for the link #86humalong – you’re right, the artist is actually really talented. Thank heavens it’s a joke.
I find President Obama to be an attractive man, yet I don’t have that type of dream about him.
is anyone else thinking ‘Candyman, Candyman, Candyman’ when looking at this?!
candy, charrrrrlie, candy!
seriously – that bit in Candyman 2(or 3 or X or whatever) where they all get washed into the Mississippi during Mardi Gras….
I know I’m a little late to the party, but @boodweg: OMG!!! I had no idea…and now I will not sleep tonight because I will be downloading every one of those images for my next project.
Looks like Jay-Z to me.
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