Dear Enema Diary,
I ate two sirloin steaks, a pound of bacon and four sausages. I haven’t crapped in days. Oh how I wish I hadn’t discarded you to use your quirky packaging for over-priced kiddie favors. Then I might truly be able to spell “relief”.
Sadly, I am not surprised by this at all, having seen plenty of Brooklyn hipster mormons wearing t-shirts proudly displaying enema paraphernalia/advertising. Enemas apparently became “quirky” right about the time hipsters started wearing those vile smelly polyester leisure suits reeking of 1960s BO…in other words, right around the start of the “quirky” “hipster” movement.
Just don’t sit next to one of THESE people on the train. That’s my advice.
This would make an ideal birthday gift for a kid. He certainly would be able to pick out his notebook among the ones with Spongebob and Hannah Montana on the cover.
First impression – tasteless recycling nutter, but the tagging gave me a good 2 minutes laugh!
Since the seller is obviously trying to attract wider audiences than the item suggests, I would also recommend the following tags:
1. Perfect wedding gift
2. Baby shower gift
3. Graduation gift
4. “Sorry, I couldn’t make it to your party” gift
When it says “Spiral Bound,” does that refer to the notebook or your intestines?
For some reason this reminds me of a bit a comedian has about asking the cashier at the supermarket if the amound of toilet paper he was buying was the right amount for the food he was buying.
Thank you for being so Quirky and Latex-Free. It really helps me when I’m purging my Random Thoughts to feel so at ease. I also love to sketch when I feel like shit’s just going to burst out and I can’t take the pressure.
@ #30 mandalarain – Perhaps if we made a Flounce Journal out of a tampon box and titled it “Who Pulled the String on Your Tampon?” is would be a collector’s item.
When telling someone “go shove it up your ass” just isn’t enough! You gotta admit that it would be the perfect secret santa gift for that “special” co-worker.
All I have to say is: anyone who’s ever had to use one of those would find nothing quirky or fun about a notebook constantly reminding you of the experience.
I’m going to write a book called “How to Profit From Used Personal Hygiene Products”. This will be Chapter 2. Chapter 1 is about making a dress from maxi pad wrappers.
Damn, it sold. I was looking forward to taking this out at meetings and then sitting there with a pained expression on my face. Now I’ll just have the pained expression.
I…I would actually buy this you guys. I think it is hilarious. Is there something wrong with me? There is probably something wrong with me. I’ve had a decent amount of whiskey tonight, I’ll just blame it on that.
“Captain’s Log – Stardate 8173.2: We are in orbit around Uranus, searching for some rogue Klingons. Our previous attempts to flush them out of hiding was a total wash. If they make it to the asteroids, we will have a real mess on our hands, so we are doing everything we can to keep them from slipping though our fingers…”
I’ve been coaching my son on what to tell Grandma what he wants for his birthday in hopes she will get him what he wants and not some stupid shit. I think we will put this on the list tomorrow.
Upcycling, huh? So all those non-biodegradable plastic spirals… That didn’t factor into her save-the-world plan? Couldn’t she have used, oh I don’t know, used dental floss to secure the pages together?
October 6, 2010 at 1:36 pm
yum. gives new meaning to “toilet paper.” maybe I should get this to take notes on at my next meeting…
October 6, 2010 at 1:41 pm
Oh, I just know all the neighborhood kids will enjoy this beautiful goodie in their bags!
October 6, 2010 at 1:42 pm
Since when did enemas become “quirky”?
October 6, 2010 at 1:43 pm
I’d be moved if they made a matching pen out of the used bottle.
October 6, 2010 at 1:44 pm
Just what I always wanted, a poop diary…
October 6, 2010 at 1:46 pm
i simply cannot stop laughing at this.
October 6, 2010 at 1:47 pm
Dear Enema Diary,
I ate two sirloin steaks, a pound of bacon and four sausages. I haven’t crapped in days. Oh how I wish I hadn’t discarded you to use your quirky packaging for over-priced kiddie favors. Then I might truly be able to spell “relief”.
October 6, 2010 at 1:47 pm
@stylethread.com – they’d certainly know how you feel about the meeting.
@mommykrunk – I know that’s what *I* am passing out this year!
@Nico – Googling for “enema” and “quirky” reveals some surprising results.
October 6, 2010 at 1:47 pm
This *IS* perfect for a child’s birthday. I just got my son the Tampax notebook for his birthday, and it’s all the kids can talk about!
October 6, 2010 at 1:47 pm
Cool. So when the enema starts kicking in, you have a whole book of sheets to wipe your ass with.
October 6, 2010 at 1:48 pm
Yeah, my classmates don’t need to know that much about my hobbies.
October 6, 2010 at 1:49 pm
The “Photo album” tag is cracking me up too.
October 6, 2010 at 1:49 pm
Sadly, I am not surprised by this at all, having seen plenty of Brooklyn hipster mormons wearing t-shirts proudly displaying enema paraphernalia/advertising. Enemas apparently became “quirky” right about the time hipsters started wearing those vile smelly polyester leisure suits reeking of 1960s BO…in other words, right around the start of the “quirky” “hipster” movement.
Just don’t sit next to one of THESE people on the train. That’s my advice.
October 6, 2010 at 1:52 pm
I am holding out for the matching colostomy bag backpack and tampon dry-erase marker to be offered.
October 6, 2010 at 1:52 pm
This would make an ideal birthday gift for a kid. He certainly would be able to pick out his notebook among the ones with Spongebob and Hannah Montana on the cover.
(Well, maybe not Hannah Montana.)
October 6, 2010 at 1:53 pm
Recycled, front & back, heavy duty, random.Ten bucks.
No matter which order you process this ,it all comes out the same in the end.
October 6, 2010 at 1:53 pm
First impression – tasteless recycling nutter, but the tagging gave me a good 2 minutes laugh!
Since the seller is obviously trying to attract wider audiences than the item suggests, I would also recommend the following tags:
1. Perfect wedding gift
2. Baby shower gift
3. Graduation gift
4. “Sorry, I couldn’t make it to your party” gift
October 6, 2010 at 1:54 pm
The PAPER is recycled?
The PAPER!?
I don’t want to know, man, I just don’t want to know!
*sobs quietly in the corner*
With asterisks
October 6, 2010 at 1:55 pm
Is “upcycling” a fancy code-word for giving a stranger an enema?
October 6, 2010 at 1:56 pm
Did this come from the “crafts for retarded” book?
Perhaps a page should be added to it if not…
October 6, 2010 at 1:57 pm
No worries that this’ll be regifted, unless it’s for evil MIL.
October 6, 2010 at 1:59 pm
@#3 Nico – not so much “quirky” as “squirty.”
October 6, 2010 at 2:00 pm
When it says “Spiral Bound,” does that refer to the notebook or your intestines?
For some reason this reminds me of a bit a comedian has about asking the cashier at the supermarket if the amound of toilet paper he was buying was the right amount for the food he was buying.
October 6, 2010 at 2:02 pm
The enema of my friend is my enemy. Wait, what?
October 6, 2010 at 2:02 pm
Finally, a journal that really MEANS something.
Dear Diary,
Thank you for being so Quirky and Latex-Free. It really helps me when I’m purging my Random Thoughts to feel so at ease. I also love to sketch when I feel like shit’s just going to burst out and I can’t take the pressure.
XOXO,
Anorexia
October 6, 2010 at 2:06 pm
So your friends were giving this out as a party favor favor at their kids birthday party. HMMM?
With friends like that – who needs enemas
October 6, 2010 at 2:07 pm
You can now do your best writing on the can.
October 6, 2010 at 2:08 pm
#15 Josh Hannah Montana is more of a douche than an enema…
October 6, 2010 at 2:17 pm
A perfectly subtle gift to give an aspiring writer.
October 6, 2010 at 2:21 pm
because a journal made out of a tampon box, well, that would just be embarassing!
October 6, 2010 at 2:25 pm
@ #30 mandalarain – Perhaps if we made a Flounce Journal out of a tampon box and titled it “Who Pulled the String on Your Tampon?” is would be a collector’s item.
October 6, 2010 at 2:27 pm
Here I sit, Enema notebook on the shitter
I tried to Facebook but could only Twitter
October 6, 2010 at 2:36 pm
they missed a golden opportunity to use the phrase “let your creativity flow” in the description.
October 6, 2010 at 2:45 pm
When telling someone “go shove it up your ass” just isn’t enough! You gotta admit that it would be the perfect secret santa gift for that “special” co-worker.
October 6, 2010 at 3:11 pm
The seller is called “Ivy Lane Designs,” even though “Hershey Highway Doodles” would be more appropriate.
October 6, 2010 at 3:13 pm
I sorta specialize in “tastelessness,” so I have to admit I’m a bit jealous this one got ahead of me.
October 6, 2010 at 3:13 pm
Uses for this Journal.
1. Writing down Random Shit
Sorry…that’s all I got today!
October 6, 2010 at 3:16 pm
Perfect for the terrorist who wants to distract from his manifesto written within.
October 6, 2010 at 3:23 pm
All I have to say is: anyone who’s ever had to use one of those would find nothing quirky or fun about a notebook constantly reminding you of the experience.
October 6, 2010 at 3:38 pm
I’m going to write a book called “How to Profit From Used Personal Hygiene Products”. This will be Chapter 2. Chapter 1 is about making a dress from maxi pad wrappers.
October 6, 2010 at 3:45 pm
I know people keep food diaries.
But shit diaries?
Some things are better kept to yourself.
October 6, 2010 at 3:51 pm
What a *lovely* way to remember that *magical* evening you spent prepping for that colonoscopy…
October 6, 2010 at 3:54 pm
Damn, it sold. I was looking forward to taking this out at meetings and then sitting there with a pained expression on my face. Now I’ll just have the pained expression.
October 6, 2010 at 4:05 pm
What???
It would make enemazing gift!
October 6, 2010 at 4:11 pm
I dunno, I always find journaling to be cathartic.
October 6, 2010 at 4:14 pm
Perfect gift for an old school book-keeper, who works things out with a pencil?
October 6, 2010 at 4:43 pm
I…I would actually buy this you guys. I think it is hilarious. Is there something wrong with me? There is probably something wrong with me. I’ve had a decent amount of whiskey tonight, I’ll just blame it on that.
October 6, 2010 at 4:54 pm
I can’t believe none of you pounced on the “soft and flexible” phrase. ^_^
October 6, 2010 at 5:01 pm
Backed with heavy duty chipboard?
Like construction grade?
Really soft & flexible.
Hope they sand the edges & how the heck do you spiral bind chipboard?
October 6, 2010 at 5:41 pm
“Captain’s Log – Stardate 8173.2: We are in orbit around Uranus, searching for some rogue Klingons. Our previous attempts to flush them out of hiding was a total wash. If they make it to the asteroids, we will have a real mess on our hands, so we are doing everything we can to keep them from slipping though our fingers…”
October 6, 2010 at 6:24 pm
I’ve been coaching my son on what to tell Grandma what he wants for his birthday in hopes she will get him what he wants and not some stupid shit. I think we will put this on the list tomorrow.
October 6, 2010 at 6:26 pm
If enemas are the next big internet meme, I’m cancelling my LOLCat account.
Do they require flounce, ya think?
October 6, 2010 at 6:38 pm
@sorlenna-I was going to but you beat me to it!
October 6, 2010 at 7:04 pm
#42 catherder – I was going to say the same thing, and add that it’s the perfect photo album for the colonoscopy results.
October 7, 2010 at 5:18 am
#32 @GROT – Brilliant!
October 7, 2010 at 6:14 am
So the cover says “ready to use” and “latex free”. Are they referring to the notebook?
The last time I held a latex notebook my hands swelled up and got. So instead of going to the doctor, I just rubbed the notebook on my penis.
THAT was not a good idea.
October 7, 2010 at 6:27 am
Would make a great diary – no one would want to snoop and read your private thoughts in this thing!
October 7, 2010 at 6:40 am
Ok. Which one of you mormons actually bought this thing? I know it was someone here.
October 7, 2010 at 8:00 am
I actually know a number of people who would find this scatalogical foolery amusing. I’m a health professional though. We’re weird that way.
October 7, 2010 at 2:38 pm
Debbie #45 – do you caSHARTic?! I crack myself up.
And I will never look at the word “jot” the same way after today.
October 7, 2010 at 2:47 pm
Sorry – do over.
Debbie #45 – do you *mean* caSHARTIC?
Sorry.
October 7, 2010 at 4:14 pm
what me buy crap like this? if someone can sell this i am going through the med cabinet for boxes
October 7, 2010 at 6:18 pm
I know the perfect person I would give this to…….;o) I love it!!
October 8, 2010 at 10:45 am
Upcycling, huh? So all those non-biodegradable plastic spirals… That didn’t factor into her save-the-world plan? Couldn’t she have used, oh I don’t know, used dental floss to secure the pages together?
October 8, 2010 at 7:30 pm
Does does this mean the pages will make my ink run?