It looks like a Blue All-State Insurance Logo.
Mostly, I am proud never to have seen Avatar and prouder that I never will. Take that, you imaginary blue people from HD-3D-CGI world!!
Blue aliens can suck it!!!!
That is seriously one of the most nasty things ever. As if the concept of the fleshlight wasn’t bad enough, but now they’re selling stuff so you can fantasize about fucking a fictional blue monkey?
I imagine I could Macgyver one of these by taking apart a flashlight and inserting and molding some flubber. I’d use green, though.
That is, if you’re going to send your man to fuck a flashlight with a blue plastic cooter instead of the sock and lotion.
There is a vampire one too, called the “succu-dry.” http://www.fleshlight.com/succu-dry/
(The reason I know this is because one of my friends uses it as his facebook icon.)
Oh, ha…fucking…ha, Mister Ad-man. That. Was. HIGH-larious. So brilliant.
That’s right. This was so ridiculous that it forced me to try and convey sarcasm through text, which would be completely misunderstood or completely missed. Other people will wonder, “What the fuck is wrong with Patty? How can she find this funny?”
Trust me. I don’t. Oh, the Fleshlight itself is hilarious, but “eXXXtra-terrestrial”… No.
Buzzkill Crying Glitter Eagle
September 30, 2010 at 5:32 pm
this isn’t the opposite of a double-dildo, and I can’t figure out how an alien with 2 penises would mate with this. But I wouldn’t suppose they’d want to.
I just hope it’s not blue from Cerenkov radiation.
I am disappointed by the banality of your advertisement. You mix metaphors from FOUR separate science fiction films in a totally unsatisfying manner. You then proceed to write the most soporofic details. When I awoke from the details of how to operate your device, I remained uninspired to make a purchase.
You, my good man, are offering a sexual toy. “Blue sci-fi pocket vagina available. Discreet shipping. Guarantee of joy.”
That website…*shudder*. Some of them are modeled after real people. I wonder who modeled for this one. Actually, I take that back. I don’t want to know.
I want the Etsy version of this to be made with glitter fimo clay and stuffed into an upcycled soda bottle or some shit. Also, in the movie don’t the Na’vi do it with their ponytails or some shit?
I apologize, people. I didn’t bother to go see the blue alien version of Pocahontas, so I might be wrong here.
BlackIce – hey, some of us can find it just fine.
Stinkbait – we have our hands. These worked fine for centuries.
Finally, that vampire fleshlight is really disturbing. And I love vampires. However the idea of ‘tiny fangs’ biting my privates? Not so much.
Aren’t the creatures from Avatar like 3 times our size?
So this thing must be HUGE and would make any human male look like he has a baby dick?
Wow, like guys aren’t sensitive about they’re “size” already?
Or maybe the loser using it is like “dude, my junk is avatar size!!”
I know this is seriously nerd here, but … the clitoris is a homolog of the penis. In order to have two clitorises, the male would have to have two penises, and uh … there’s only one orifice.
Yes, of everything in that posting, that’s the thing that bothered me.
That was not nice to suggest, so you should go check out the Na’vi Antidefamation League blog to counter my insensitive comment… http://nadl-org.livejournal.com/
(oh, INTERNET, never change. and never cease giving me reasons to make a bowl of popcorn)
I’m ready to be a blue alien with 2 clitorii — I’m already ambidextrous. It’s like it was meant to be. Beam me the fuck up, Scotty! Let’s do this shit!
September 30, 2010 at 2:02 pm
I won’t waste my money. I’d rather wait until someone makes an Earth Mother Womyn amulet out of it.
September 30, 2010 at 2:07 pm
I’m not sure the target audience could locate either of the two clitorii, and wouldn’t know what to do with them, if they could.
September 30, 2010 at 2:07 pm
Want bluekakke?
September 30, 2010 at 2:07 pm
To go where no man has gone before…………………
September 30, 2010 at 2:07 pm
It looks like a Blue All-State Insurance Logo.
Mostly, I am proud never to have seen Avatar and prouder that I never will. Take that, you imaginary blue people from HD-3D-CGI world!!
Blue aliens can suck it!!!!
September 30, 2010 at 2:07 pm
How’s anyone supposed to lick 2 of them at once? Just what I need–2 failed orgasms.
September 30, 2010 at 2:07 pm
Christ, I can’t even think of something witty to say…
And really, a double clitoris? Do they think this is going to increase a guy’s chance of finding it?
September 30, 2010 at 2:08 pm
Can you guarantee this is the right orifice for me? I don’t want this to turn out to be her ear or nostril.
September 30, 2010 at 2:10 pm
Is it clitorises or clitori? I agree with Black Ice, I can’t find it when there’s only one.
September 30, 2010 at 2:10 pm
Increase the clitoris count from two to ten and I could do a clusterfuck.
September 30, 2010 at 2:11 pm
i am all in favor of this product
yes, by all means! 1000 times yes! take that genetic material out of the system and put it where it can’t cause any harm.
brilliant idea!
September 30, 2010 at 2:11 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
September 30, 2010 at 2:12 pm
Wow, blue was an interesting colour choice, sort of makes it look like a necro light.
September 30, 2010 at 2:13 pm
…and bonus points for employing the word “fuckery”.
September 30, 2010 at 2:14 pm
Beam me up naughty , then ream me. Uh, no thanks.
Wonder what the sexy cosmic yak would have to say about this.
September 30, 2010 at 2:16 pm
It is somewhat comforting to know that cooters are interplanetary.
September 30, 2010 at 2:21 pm
It needs to be in felt, so I can have a felt vagoo to go with my felt balls
September 30, 2010 at 2:25 pm
Their ideal customer caught in the act:
http://i55.tinypic.com/29fds9w.png
September 30, 2010 at 2:28 pm
I imagine I could Macgyver one of these by taking apart a flashlight and inserting and molding some flubber. I’d use green, though.
That is, if you’re going to send your man to fuck a flashlight with a blue plastic cooter instead of the sock and lotion.
September 30, 2010 at 2:33 pm
hamoza, Cosmic Yak would know that a blue cooch has a disease he doesn’t want.
September 30, 2010 at 2:33 pm
But will it look nice on the back of my truck?
September 30, 2010 at 2:34 pm
There is a vampire one too, called the “succu-dry.”
http://www.fleshlight.com/succu-dry/
(The reason I know this is because one of my friends uses it as his facebook icon.)
September 30, 2010 at 2:37 pm
@geektastic-yes, I thought so.’Cuz he’s sexy and cosmic.Your word is as good as hearing it straight out of the yaks mouth!
September 30, 2010 at 2:50 pm
I could see a Smurf enthusiast having way too much “fun” with this.
September 30, 2010 at 2:52 pm
Frankly. this looks about as appetizing as sucking on a pair of blue balls.
September 30, 2010 at 3:06 pm
“eXXXtra-terrestrial”
Oh, ha…fucking…ha, Mister Ad-man. That. Was. HIGH-larious. So brilliant.
That’s right. This was so ridiculous that it forced me to try and convey sarcasm through text, which would be completely misunderstood or completely missed. Other people will wonder, “What the fuck is wrong with Patty? How can she find this funny?”
Trust me. I don’t. Oh, the Fleshlight itself is hilarious, but “eXXXtra-terrestrial”… No.
September 30, 2010 at 3:10 pm
@Jenny-I’m seriously doubting that’s a vampire one because it doesn’t sparkle.
March 20, 2011 at 12:47 am
http://tantusinc.com/mm5/merchant.mvc?Product_Code=VAMP&Screen=PROD&Store_Code=TD
Tantus makes a dildo that does sparkle.
September 30, 2010 at 3:34 pm
Does it glow? It has to glow or no way I’m dropping my juice into that.
The copy is brilliant. “Go where no manhood has gone before” “Unidentified Fucking Object”
I wonder if it sounds the same as a regular fleshlight. I want it to sort of hum.
September 30, 2010 at 3:36 pm
I want to be the ER nurse when some shlub comes in with that thing stuck to his nasty business.
“Well, I was trying to find the double clitoris and … and now it won’t come off!”
September 30, 2010 at 3:50 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
September 30, 2010 at 3:59 pm
Hmm, wonder if the vaginal necklace people will start making Navi-Vagoo necklaces now on Etsy?
September 30, 2010 at 3:59 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
September 30, 2010 at 4:16 pm
So basically any dick with a few bucks can hit this .
No disrespect to the tribal kin , but what a Naviho.
September 30, 2010 at 5:15 pm
After screwing this thing, does a little phallic-shaped alien come bursting out of your penis in a gruesome shower of blood?
September 30, 2010 at 5:21 pm
The Na’vi in the ad looks like he’s rubbing one out right now.
September 30, 2010 at 5:28 pm
Don’t knock the Fleshlight. You ladies have you rubber wieners, we have this.
September 30, 2010 at 5:30 pm
@razberries:
Felted blue Navi vagoos.
September 30, 2010 at 5:32 pm
this isn’t the opposite of a double-dildo, and I can’t figure out how an alien with 2 penises would mate with this. But I wouldn’t suppose they’d want to.
I just hope it’s not blue from Cerenkov radiation.
September 30, 2010 at 5:53 pm
Is it just me, or do the two clitorii look a lot like the bottom feline-ish part of Na’vi noses?
Geez. The designers couldn’t even come up with a new design for alien va-jay-jays.
September 30, 2010 at 6:47 pm
(adds to list of ‘Fetishes of Which I’d Rather Remain TOTALLY Ignorant’; reaches for bottle of single malt)
September 30, 2010 at 7:08 pm
Joan, take a letter:
“To the creators of Alien Fleshlight
Dear Sir
I am disappointed by the banality of your advertisement. You mix metaphors from FOUR separate science fiction films in a totally unsatisfying manner. You then proceed to write the most soporofic details. When I awoke from the details of how to operate your device, I remained uninspired to make a purchase.
You, my good man, are offering a sexual toy. “Blue sci-fi pocket vagina available. Discreet shipping. Guarantee of joy.”
Sincerely
Reginald I Perrin, Grot Enterprises
September 30, 2010 at 7:10 pm
Double clitoris, all the way
Across Pandora!
Yeahhhh, it’s so blue!
September 30, 2010 at 7:13 pm
#38 Buzzkill — two fleshlights and perhaps some duct tape should do the job
September 30, 2010 at 7:49 pm
That website…*shudder*. Some of them are modeled after real people. I wonder who modeled for this one. Actually, I take that back. I don’t want to know.
September 30, 2010 at 7:57 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
September 30, 2010 at 7:58 pm
All I see when I look at this is a blue waffle.
September 30, 2010 at 8:19 pm
I want the Etsy version of this to be made with glitter fimo clay and stuffed into an upcycled soda bottle or some shit. Also, in the movie don’t the Na’vi do it with their ponytails or some shit?
I apologize, people. I didn’t bother to go see the blue alien version of Pocahontas, so I might be wrong here.
September 30, 2010 at 8:27 pm
So that’s where the blue blood comes from for the mini/maxi pad commercials. Always wondered…
September 30, 2010 at 10:08 pm
Yeah, but what the ad neglects to tell you is when you’re good and plugged into the Naughty Na’vi, it sends out a USB braid to plug into your ass.
October 1, 2010 at 12:12 am
Two clitorii just to make sure you thoroughly accidentally the whole thing.
October 1, 2010 at 2:43 am
Well that’s…appetizing. And who decided that Na’vi had clitori? Is there some ghastly hentai official fanbook I’m not reading?
October 1, 2010 at 8:10 am
BlackIce – hey, some of us can find it just fine.
Stinkbait – we have our hands. These worked fine for centuries.
Finally, that vampire fleshlight is really disturbing. And I love vampires. However the idea of ‘tiny fangs’ biting my privates? Not so much.
October 1, 2010 at 9:08 am
Aren’t the creatures from Avatar like 3 times our size?
So this thing must be HUGE and would make any human male look like he has a baby dick?
Wow, like guys aren’t sensitive about they’re “size” already?
Or maybe the loser using it is like “dude, my junk is avatar size!!”
October 1, 2010 at 10:17 am
I’d rather have the Mikuty Tenga Hole
http://images3.jlist.com/g5/mikuty_d29.jpg It’s much cuter…but I don’t have anything to stick in it.
October 1, 2010 at 10:28 am
I know this is seriously nerd here, but … the clitoris is a homolog of the penis. In order to have two clitorises, the male would have to have two penises, and uh … there’s only one orifice.
Yes, of everything in that posting, that’s the thing that bothered me.
October 1, 2010 at 10:55 am
if I had TWO clitorii, I would never leave my room.
October 1, 2010 at 9:24 pm
@manybellsdown This may be seriously anatomical but… have you checked the number of orifices lately? I’m just sayin…
October 1, 2010 at 11:27 pm
Probably catering to the Na’vi Otherkin community.
http://community.livejournal.com/tothehometree/profile
That was not nice to suggest, so you should go check out the Na’vi Antidefamation League blog to counter my insensitive comment… http://nadl-org.livejournal.com/
(oh, INTERNET, never change. and never cease giving me reasons to make a bowl of popcorn)
October 7, 2010 at 10:09 am
I’m ready to be a blue alien with 2 clitorii — I’m already ambidextrous. It’s like it was meant to be. Beam me the fuck up, Scotty! Let’s do this shit!