I have relatives like this. When you point your camera at your cat, does it turn its head and hold up a paw to block your view? Maybe its shy about its weight or the condition of its fur.
Wouldn’t it just be easier to dye the cat blue and have him go as the alien captain from Earth Girls Are Easy? He’s already got the fur suit on.
I’m sure kitty will appreciate having to wear an outfit on Halloween. I’m sure you’ll be able to sleep quite soundly that night. Because kitty won’t want to claw your eyes out at all, will he?
Buzzkill Crying Glitter Eagle
September 29, 2010 at 9:42 am
The easiest thing to do would be to spraypaint “JEFF GOLDBLUM” onto the cat (and then take a quick trip to the ER), because to do otherwise will involve this in an endless loop for all of Samhain:
one of mine runs when the camera comes out… I think she’s afraid I am going to use it as reference to build her a jeff goldblum costume and sell it on etsy.
“I really liked Jeff Goldblum’s character in ‘Law & Order CI’ but I know nothing of any of his other works. In fact, till I went to IMDb, I wasn’t sure who Detective Nichols was played by. And, I like to torture my pets. My cat looks nothing like Jeff, but I’d like to fulfill a freaky fantasy and that’s where you come in… handcuffs with the Detective Nichols costume are not necessary, I already have my own.”
Grot – The Ghost of Reginald I Perrin
September 29, 2010 at 9:45 am
I picture this cat giving its owner the middle finger. Oh wait, I am not allowed to picture the cat. The intrawebs lawyers are coming after me now.
“But your honor, I thought the cat just did not like to have its picture taken…”
Buzzkill Crying Glitter Eagle
September 29, 2010 at 9:45 am
You could put the cat in jeans and a t-shirt and attach a small can of spray paint to his left paw, and say he’s Jeff Goldblum from “Death Wish” (I’m pretty sure Goldblum was the punk who sprayed a circle around somone’s butt before raping and murdering them at the beginning of the movie. It’s been a while since I’ve seen it.)
I’d rather dress my cat up as Charles Bronson, actually. It would be easier to explain in the ER later.
Thank goodness my cat doesn’t have these self-esteem issues. He loves getting his picture taken. Perhaps her cat should talk to a therapist about this little problem?
Grot – The Ghost of Reginald I Perrin
September 29, 2010 at 9:58 am
@ #17 knittin-kitten – Don’t you realize every time you take a picture of a cat, you steal some of its eternal energy from the spirit world.
NO. MORE. CAT. PHOTOS. EVER.
kthnxbai
In almost every Regretsy posting there is something that literally makes my jaw drop. Usually it’s the photo but sometimes it’s the heading or something in the copy.
This time it was the words “big Jeff Goldblum fan.”
Is the spay/neuter clinic for the owner or the cat?
And if you’re going to dress your cat up like a Law & Order CI character, you’re really going to pick Nichols over Goren? And if you’re going to pick a Goldblum character you’re going to pick Nichols over all the other things he’s been in? Really? Your cat should hate you for wanting to dress it up in the first place, and hate you even more for picking such a dumb costume.
Great idea. Especially if you want to spend Halloween explaining to people what your cat costume is, and then enjoying the “spinning finger over ear” gestures you get.
I dated a guy who’s mother had a Himalayan. It kept getting beat up by all the other cats in their neighborhood. It was sad because it was a really nice cat. Just very timid.
I sincerely hope this isn’t some sort of plan to improve her cat’s street cred.
I think the costume that’s needed is “Ian Malcolm” from Jurassic Park. Mostly because I want to see a Himalayan in leather and sunglasses.
On a more disturbing note, if you Google “Jeff Goldblum” and watch the auto-complete options, one of the top picks is “Jeff Goldblum is watching you poop.”
Buzzkill Crying Glitter Eagle
September 29, 2010 at 11:05 am
#38 kirstenrana – that is awesome! This scenario is now playing out in my head:
ER Triage nurse: How did you get all these wounds?
BCGE: [hands ER Triage Nurse photoshop] I was dressing up my cat for Halloween as Charles Bronson. The Shark and T-Rex are in the ambulance pulling in now.
Buzzkill Crying Glitter Eagle
September 29, 2010 at 11:09 am
knitten-kitten: yes Luna the kitten is the queen of the house now. She likes to “nurse” on people, which entails all that fluffing and creating large amounts of cat drool on whatever you’re wearing. She also likes to torment the other cats in the house, who had settled into a routine of eating, sleeping and shitting before her arrival.
I know it’s off topic but big hugs to all who help cats(any animal for that matter)in need. They’re so perfect as they are & don’t need costumes -
The goddess of mercy has 1000 hands & needs them all.
The Often-Crappy Crafter
September 29, 2010 at 11:23 am
This is so stupid. The ONLY way to get that cat dressed up as Jeff Goldblum will be with a cut-out photo of Jeff stuck to the hairs on the top of the cat’s head with double-sided tape. If she’s lucky and careful, the cat might not notice for about 30s before it would start freaking out.
Hmmm. $30 for a photocopy and a piece of tape… maybe I should submit this for her approval?
I have a Siamese, so that’s like a Himalayan without the fluff. I would dress her up as Dr. Malcolm for Halloween, but I’m having a hard time teaching her to say some of his lines. Also, I don’t think they’d let her go trick or treating at the mall.
I hope that whoever does this for her asks, as payment, for a video of the cat being dressed. And then posts it for us all. Because that will be high comedy.
and Stretch65 as “The Count”
September 29, 2010 at 12:41 pm
#37 Buzzkill and kk – The sentiment is right but cats still have instincts. My cat Bugglesworth Fluffington (aka Mr. Bugglesworth) gave me a gift of a dead mouse on my doorstep. yeah I worry about him being outside but he scatches on the door and obviously has cat things to do. When he’s done he scratches and comes back in, must be what a parent feels like. Hymalains are a created breed to be pussies in all senses of the words and bred to be strictly indoors
We put a little dog sweater on the cats from time to time just for fun (the DH and I are easily entertained). I can just see a Himalayan walking backwards across the room, trying to get out of a little suit, then sitting there looking confused.
Perhaps the reason the cat doesn’t want to be photographed is that he really does not want to be dressed as Jeff Goldblum/Zach Nichols. Maybe he prefers to dress Jeff Spicoli and hang out in the driveway in the back of a Volkswagen van with his catnip without some freak taking his picture.
Our neighbor’s Himilayan stalks the neighborhood terrorizing cats, dogs and bunnies alike. It is known as Fluffball of Evil.
This cat doesn’t like to be “pictured”, obviously, because it is in the witness protection program. Take a hint, owner! Don’t draw attention to it with this senseless verisimilitude to Hollywood characters!
Holy cow, y’all, all those earlier Alchemy requests, looking for inappropriate costumes for their three-year-olds? THEY’RE ALL FOR CATS. I don’t recall a single one that specified it was for a three-year-old HUMAN.
I’ve cracked the secret feline code. Cats will begin dressing as minor celebrities and begin a brainwashing campaign through the pages of People Magazine.
……. if i ever tried to dress my cat in any manner especially this most embarrassing way, she would not call PETA. she would try to kill me. she is intelligent enough to open drawers, steal things from closed drawers and open bottles. therefore I am positive she would be capable of murder if she so wished..
True story: My parents live in retirement community that has a Halloween dog parade every year. Owners (or their grandkids) walk their costumed pooches across a little runway and a jolly time is had by all… except the dogs. I guess it’s more fun for the residents than doing jigsaw puzzles. But cats in costume? Man, that would make one hilarious show. Have the EMTs standing by!
Why not go with Goldblum as the scientist in the movie Cats and Dogs? It’s a children’s movie about an evil cat army plan to destroy a new vaccine that would destroy all human allergies to dogs, and the dog army’s efforts to stop the cats. Goldblum plays the wacky human scientist working to develop the vaccine. All you need is a cheap little white lab coat, some tiny goggles and you’re all set.
@Kraken-I totally believe you. My cat has done some very, very odd things. Not the least of which was stare at my then husband for about six or seven hours when he came home after being away for two weeks. (The cat hated him and was quite pissed when he returned.) The then husband cried like a girl cause the cat wouldn’t stop staring at him.
I considered bidding on this and requesting pictures of the cat in costume for my portfolio/amusement. But then I remembered the cat doesn’t like to be photographed.
September 29, 2010 at 9:36 am
“…he doesn’t like to be pictured.”
I have relatives like this. When you point your camera at your cat, does it turn its head and hold up a paw to block your view? Maybe its shy about its weight or the condition of its fur.
I think your cat needs therapy.
September 29, 2010 at 9:37 am
But first, he had to solve The Case of the Empty Fishbowl.
September 29, 2010 at 9:37 am
Helen, I don’t think the brow on the cat is furrowed enough to be Jeff Goldbloom.
September 29, 2010 at 9:38 am
There is a cat plotting a death somewhere, every two seconds.
September 29, 2010 at 9:38 am
Wouldn’t it just be easier to dye the cat blue and have him go as the alien captain from Earth Girls Are Easy? He’s already got the fur suit on.
I’m sure kitty will appreciate having to wear an outfit on Halloween. I’m sure you’ll be able to sleep quite soundly that night. Because kitty won’t want to claw your eyes out at all, will he?
If I did that to my cat, he’d call PETA on me.
September 29, 2010 at 9:39 am
Darn, I could have made a great Fly costume.
September 29, 2010 at 9:39 am
What would be cool is if the crazy cat lady could teach her cat to go “hmmm” and look pensive between meows.
“Meow” “Hmmm….” “meow?”
September 29, 2010 at 9:41 am
Why not the Fly? Is that character an any less ridiculous concept than the others for a cat costume.
Does kitty have some sort of fly phobia?
Thanks crazy cat lady, now I’m going to wonder “why not the Fly?” all day.
September 29, 2010 at 9:42 am
The easiest thing to do would be to spraypaint “JEFF GOLDBLUM” onto the cat (and then take a quick trip to the ER), because to do otherwise will involve this in an endless loop for all of Samhain:
“What the hell is that”
“It’s my cat”
“What is she supposed to be?”
“It’s a ‘he’, and Jeff Goldblum”
September 29, 2010 at 9:43 am
I had no idea that Jeff Goldblum doesn’t like to be pictured
September 29, 2010 at 9:43 am
one of mine runs when the camera comes out… I think she’s afraid I am going to use it as reference to build her a jeff goldblum costume and sell it on etsy.
September 29, 2010 at 9:43 am
What this translates as to me:
“I really liked Jeff Goldblum’s character in ‘Law & Order CI’ but I know nothing of any of his other works. In fact, till I went to IMDb, I wasn’t sure who Detective Nichols was played by. And, I like to torture my pets. My cat looks nothing like Jeff, but I’d like to fulfill a freaky fantasy and that’s where you come in… handcuffs with the Detective Nichols costume are not necessary, I already have my own.”
September 29, 2010 at 9:45 am
I picture this cat giving its owner the middle finger. Oh wait, I am not allowed to picture the cat. The intrawebs lawyers are coming after me now.
“But your honor, I thought the cat just did not like to have its picture taken…”
September 29, 2010 at 9:45 am
You could put the cat in jeans and a t-shirt and attach a small can of spray paint to his left paw, and say he’s Jeff Goldblum from “Death Wish” (I’m pretty sure Goldblum was the punk who sprayed a circle around somone’s butt before raping and murdering them at the beginning of the movie. It’s been a while since I’ve seen it.)
I’d rather dress my cat up as Charles Bronson, actually. It would be easier to explain in the ER later.
April 12, 2011 at 11:37 pm
You post made me laugh out loud (and I’m just sitting here with my cats…that may be why they were looking at me in such a funny way).
September 29, 2010 at 9:48 am
I’d like to suggest instead a visit to the spay/neuter clinic-there’s a special 2 for 1 deal every Wednesday.
September 29, 2010 at 9:48 am
Wow – I bet Jeff Goldblum really feels like a star now!
September 29, 2010 at 9:49 am
If the cat is neutered he’d be a cinch to go as Goldblum’s “Big Chill” character.
September 29, 2010 at 9:52 am
Thank goodness my cat doesn’t have these self-esteem issues. He loves getting his picture taken. Perhaps her cat should talk to a therapist about this little problem?
September 29, 2010 at 9:53 am
Man, I’d be able to do this if it were a Corey Haim costume for a chinchilla. Sooo close.
September 29, 2010 at 9:58 am
Is that level 27?
September 29, 2010 at 9:58 am
@ #17 knittin-kitten – Don’t you realize every time you take a picture of a cat, you steal some of its eternal energy from the spirit world.
NO. MORE. CAT. PHOTOS. EVER.
kthnxbai
September 29, 2010 at 9:59 am
I think my cats are much better adjusted, and would be happy to show off their bacon costumes for the camera .
September 29, 2010 at 10:02 am
In almost every Regretsy posting there is something that literally makes my jaw drop. Usually it’s the photo but sometimes it’s the heading or something in the copy.
This time it was the words “big Jeff Goldblum fan.”
September 29, 2010 at 10:05 am
The ‘shopped cat in the suit really really looks like a fish. A very homely fish.
September 29, 2010 at 10:05 am
Is the spay/neuter clinic for the owner or the cat?
And if you’re going to dress your cat up like a Law & Order CI character, you’re really going to pick Nichols over Goren? And if you’re going to pick a Goldblum character you’re going to pick Nichols over all the other things he’s been in? Really? Your cat should hate you for wanting to dress it up in the first place, and hate you even more for picking such a dumb costume.
I would’ve picked The Fly.
September 29, 2010 at 10:10 am
Jeff Goldblum is a pussy…
(I can’t believe he divorced Geena Davis)
September 29, 2010 at 10:11 am
Great idea. Especially if you want to spend Halloween explaining to people what your cat costume is, and then enjoying the “spinning finger over ear” gestures you get.
September 29, 2010 at 10:11 am
Jeff Goldblum would NEVER sleep with me – but my cat does. Ok cat – time to dress like my fantasy man.
September 29, 2010 at 10:11 am
I dated a guy who’s mother had a Himalayan. It kept getting beat up by all the other cats in their neighborhood. It was sad because it was a really nice cat. Just very timid.
I sincerely hope this isn’t some sort of plan to improve her cat’s street cred.
September 29, 2010 at 10:15 am
kk – Himalayan’s are indoor cats. That was the problem. People know about your pet before aquiring.
And be sure to have Bob Barker – spayed or neutered
September 29, 2010 at 10:16 am
Cat Profile Sheet
Likes: to dress up as Jeff Goldblum
Dislikes: to be pictured
September 29, 2010 at 10:20 am
If she wants her cat to have street cred she needs to dress fluffy up as Ice-T.
http://i246.photobucket.com/albums/gg111/brucerusk/ice-t.jpg
September 29, 2010 at 10:22 am
Am I the only person who wants to see this happen?
September 29, 2010 at 10:32 am
Some people need to start taking meds. Or stop, as the case may be…
September 29, 2010 at 10:34 am
@Stretch-I know. All cats should be for their own safety. They also live an average of five years longer than an outdoor cat.
September 29, 2010 at 10:41 am
I think the costume that’s needed is “Ian Malcolm” from Jurassic Park. Mostly because I want to see a Himalayan in leather and sunglasses.
On a more disturbing note, if you Google “Jeff Goldblum” and watch the auto-complete options, one of the top picks is “Jeff Goldblum is watching you poop.”
September 29, 2010 at 10:42 am
@stretch & knitten-kitten – I wish all cats were indoor cats. Then I wouldn’t have had to rescue a kitten from my woodpile this spring.
September 29, 2010 at 10:43 am
the really tragic thing is that this is yet another example of a cat/owner relationship where the wrong one gets spayed or neutered.
i humbly submit Jeff’s costume from Buckaroo Banzai for consideration:
http://www.alicia-logic.com/capsimages/bb_027JeffGoldblum.jpg
April 12, 2011 at 11:42 pm
That IS perfect!
September 29, 2010 at 10:44 am
“…but it’s not really him because he doesn’t like to be pictured.” What? Was the cat raised by Amish?
And why would a Zach Nichols costume be any harder to make than any other character? They all essentially look just like Jeff Goldblum.
September 29, 2010 at 10:58 am
For Buzzkill Crying Glitter Eagle:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/13893150@N02/5036323299/
It could be worth the trip to the ER…
September 29, 2010 at 11:05 am
@Buzzkill-Hope the kitten is doing good!
September 29, 2010 at 11:05 am
#38 kirstenrana – that is awesome! This scenario is now playing out in my head:
ER Triage nurse: How did you get all these wounds?
BCGE: [hands ER Triage Nurse photoshop] I was dressing up my cat for Halloween as Charles Bronson. The Shark and T-Rex are in the ambulance pulling in now.
September 29, 2010 at 11:09 am
knitten-kitten: yes Luna the kitten is the queen of the house now. She likes to “nurse” on people, which entails all that fluffing and creating large amounts of cat drool on whatever you’re wearing. She also likes to torment the other cats in the house, who had settled into a routine of eating, sleeping and shitting before her arrival.
you can see her here http://catsonquilts.com/2010/08/14/luna-moon-2/
and here
http://catsonquilts.com/2010/05/31/the-kitten-in-the-woodpile/
she’s much lankier now that she’s a teenager.
September 29, 2010 at 11:12 am
when they say you should never post a picture of your pussy online, I don’t think this is what they are talking about.
September 29, 2010 at 11:15 am
I know it’s off topic but big hugs to all who help cats(any animal for that matter)in need. They’re so perfect as they are & don’t need costumes -
The goddess of mercy has 1000 hands & needs them all.
September 29, 2010 at 11:23 am
This is so stupid. The ONLY way to get that cat dressed up as Jeff Goldblum will be with a cut-out photo of Jeff stuck to the hairs on the top of the cat’s head with double-sided tape. If she’s lucky and careful, the cat might not notice for about 30s before it would start freaking out.
Hmmm. $30 for a photocopy and a piece of tape… maybe I should submit this for her approval?
September 29, 2010 at 11:48 am
I have a Siamese, so that’s like a Himalayan without the fluff. I would dress her up as Dr. Malcolm for Halloween, but I’m having a hard time teaching her to say some of his lines. Also, I don’t think they’d let her go trick or treating at the mall.
September 29, 2010 at 12:16 pm
I hope that whoever does this for her asks, as payment, for a video of the cat being dressed. And then posts it for us all. Because that will be high comedy.
September 29, 2010 at 12:27 pm
She’s been wanting this ever since she found out who her cat was in his past life…
September 29, 2010 at 12:37 pm
I can’t envision this working out. How would a costume for a cat read as Jeff Goldblum? Elton John would be easier. Look:
http://images.meredith.com/bhg/images/2007/11/ss_eltonjohncat.jpg
September 29, 2010 at 12:41 pm
#37 Buzzkill and kk – The sentiment is right but cats still have instincts. My cat Bugglesworth Fluffington (aka Mr. Bugglesworth) gave me a gift of a dead mouse on my doorstep. yeah I worry about him being outside but he scatches on the door and obviously has cat things to do. When he’s done he scratches and comes back in, must be what a parent feels like. Hymalains are a created breed to be pussies in all senses of the words and bred to be strictly indoors
MEOW
September 29, 2010 at 12:43 pm
We put a little dog sweater on the cats from time to time just for fun (the DH and I are easily entertained). I can just see a Himalayan walking backwards across the room, trying to get out of a little suit, then sitting there looking confused.
September 29, 2010 at 1:07 pm
What makes you figure that a cat who doesn’t like to be pictured, DOES like to dress up in a fucking Halloween costume?
September 29, 2010 at 1:10 pm
Perhaps the reason the cat doesn’t want to be photographed is that he really does not want to be dressed as Jeff Goldblum/Zach Nichols. Maybe he prefers to dress Jeff Spicoli and hang out in the driveway in the back of a Volkswagen van with his catnip without some freak taking his picture.
September 29, 2010 at 1:12 pm
Whe I first saw the title of the request, I thought it was a costume for a human of Jeff Goldblum as a cat. But that would be ridiculous!
September 29, 2010 at 1:14 pm
What I can say for certain about cats is that Bugglesworth’s favorite toys is the 3pk of cat toy joints I got from OH BOY CAT TOYS
September 29, 2010 at 1:46 pm
here’s a picture of Goldblum from Earth Girls Are Easliy Scared of the Fly:
http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2006/03/images/060328_fly_glasses_big.jpg
September 29, 2010 at 2:04 pm
The cat doesn’t want to be pictured because he’s ashamed of his human.
Now I’ll go back to working on my Lady Ga-Ga costume for Petra. She’s a Tortie and is REALLY pissy about being pictured — unless she’s in costume.
September 29, 2010 at 2:12 pm
Our neighbor’s Himilayan stalks the neighborhood terrorizing cats, dogs and bunnies alike. It is known as Fluffball of Evil.
This cat doesn’t like to be “pictured”, obviously, because it is in the witness protection program. Take a hint, owner! Don’t draw attention to it with this senseless verisimilitude to Hollywood characters!
September 29, 2010 at 3:08 pm
Holy cow, y’all, all those earlier Alchemy requests, looking for inappropriate costumes for their three-year-olds? THEY’RE ALL FOR CATS. I don’t recall a single one that specified it was for a three-year-old HUMAN.
I’ve cracked the secret feline code. Cats will begin dressing as minor celebrities and begin a brainwashing campaign through the pages of People Magazine.
September 29, 2010 at 3:49 pm
If the cat’s lanky, disheveled, and bumbling, just add some brown colored contact lenses, and…. Wah Lah! If not, you’re pretty much screwed.
September 29, 2010 at 5:22 pm
does this cross the line for animal abuse or is it just another way to piss off the cat
September 29, 2010 at 5:29 pm
……. if i ever tried to dress my cat in any manner especially this most embarrassing way, she would not call PETA. she would try to kill me. she is intelligent enough to open drawers, steal things from closed drawers and open bottles. therefore I am positive she would be capable of murder if she so wished..
i do not anger the kitty
September 29, 2010 at 5:46 pm
# 63-@Kraken, I bought the whole thing until you got to ‘opens bottles’….(off to secure the fort…)
September 29, 2010 at 7:52 pm
#40 kirstenrana Did you consider turning that into a cross-stitch design?
September 29, 2010 at 9:22 pm
September 29, 2010 at 9:36 pm
Brundlecat can has cheezburger?
(whoops, regretsy ate my pic… d’oh!)
September 29, 2010 at 10:44 pm
True story: My parents live in retirement community that has a Halloween dog parade every year. Owners (or their grandkids) walk their costumed pooches across a little runway and a jolly time is had by all… except the dogs. I guess it’s more fun for the residents than doing jigsaw puzzles. But cats in costume? Man, that would make one hilarious show. Have the EMTs standing by!
Why not go with Goldblum as the scientist in the movie Cats and Dogs? It’s a children’s movie about an evil cat army plan to destroy a new vaccine that would destroy all human allergies to dogs, and the dog army’s efforts to stop the cats. Goldblum plays the wacky human scientist working to develop the vaccine. All you need is a cheap little white lab coat, some tiny goggles and you’re all set.
September 30, 2010 at 8:40 am
My cat doesn’t want his picture taken either, but it’s because he’s in the Federal Witness Protection Program.
September 30, 2010 at 9:39 am
@Kraken-I totally believe you. My cat has done some very, very odd things. Not the least of which was stare at my then husband for about six or seven hours when he came home after being away for two weeks. (The cat hated him and was quite pissed when he returned.) The then husband cried like a girl cause the cat wouldn’t stop staring at him.
Don’t make kitty mad. He will get you.
September 30, 2010 at 9:59 am
I considered bidding on this and requesting pictures of the cat in costume for my portfolio/amusement. But then I remembered the cat doesn’t like to be photographed.