I agree. Ive seen enough of deer and bull balls dragging behind some ‘clever’ construction working (who also chooses # 69 for his number on the softball team uniforms). Maybe I should move to Europe.
The Often-Crappy Crafter
September 28, 2010 at 9:51 am
I think this woman is my new best friend! Seriously, to do something like this in NEBRASKA indicates that while her labia may not drag on the ground, her pendulous cohones certainly do. Hairy bumper cooter FTW!
Truck testicles and cooters are all fun and games amongst adults but when my 8 year old niece pointed to a truck with “blue” balls and asks “what’s that?” I had to lie and say it was a Canadian trailer hitch because, you know, they have the metric system up there and other weird stuff. I mean, she’ll realize what tacky dumbass means soon enough.
I think I’d attach a cooter to the grill of a truck. Then, if I were ever responsible for a rear-end collision, I have the solace of knowing that the vehicles died happy.
No snark here either. And it’s nice to see a WTF alchemy request with what looks like a reasonable ideal price. I still wouldn’t get one myself, but it made me laugh.
The longer I hang around Regretsy, the more I discover how dull being me really is.
I have a truck, I have a medium hung cooter, and never
OUNCE have I considered anything like this.
Grot – The Ghost of Reginald I Perrin
September 28, 2010 at 10:59 am
The boys have seen these “hanging” from trucks on our various drives. I have not explained the full meaning to them yet, just that the driver thinks it is cool, the same way my Red Sox stickers on the van are cool to me.
By the way, if you need to pretend to be a man, hang a set of nuts from your truck. That way, when your WHOA-man leaves you, she can take your trailer, your money AND your nuts in one fell swoop.
Me? I prefer to cart the monsters around in a minivan. Amazingly, I still feel just as manly as ever.
I appreciate the egalitarian nature, and reasonable compensation, of this request. Just because I get sick of seeing jock itch commericals, however, doesn’t necessarily mean I wish to see more feminine itch product advertisements.
Personally, I think breasts would be another obvious male generated icon on a truck. A big hairy vulva is going to scare the shit out of most rednecks. Which is why it is superior.
Buzzkill Crying Glitter Eagle
September 28, 2010 at 11:23 am
the only way I can envision this working is if the cooter was capping the trailer hitch. IF you know what I mean.
And you could still hang a ball sack from it.
(honestly the first time I heard “truck nuts” I thought they were the companions of “truck bolts” to affix the trailer hitch to the back of the truck. And I might have asked for English truck nuts, because it was for a Dodge. If it was for a Euro/Japanese vehicle, I would have asked for metric truck nuts, of course.)
Ugh! I’m tired of those ball hitch ornaments too. Who knew “straight” guys liked to accessorize? Well, redneck/insecure ones anyway.
I’ve always felt someone should start making thong hitch hangers. It’s classier and would go well with those “this isn’t my guy’s truck” bumper stickers.
God help me, I know where this place is. Actually, I used to live there like 11 years ago. Tiny town, maybe 200 people. I’ll totaly share a picture when I see this thing around.
I can see it now, on electronic freeway billboards-instead of an Amber Alert, there’ll be warnings to look out for herds of wild vagoos….gotta’ love it.
I can’t say anything. I feel like it speaks for itself. We’re in a new Regretsy year and already we have a winner. Somebody photoshop me a bronze cooter hanging off a truck stat! (Alas, I am sans photo manipulating program.)
@#52, sadly it wouldn’t, because the request specified that the open vagoo has to be visible from a distance of at least 20 feet. Fleshlights aren’t that big.
I didn’t know where De Witt was in Nebraska until I Googled it. Apparently it’s in the same county as Crete, which is the home of Crete Carrier Corp.
I really hope this means the requester works for the aforementioned trucking company…that way there’s a really good chance that those of us outside Nebraska might get to witness this ‘truck vulva’ in person.
I can’t believe no one has even bid on this yet, despite the fact that she has helpfully updated her list of tags: cooter, pussy, snatch, red snapper, camel toe, beaver, coochie, muff, anal alternative, land down under, tunnel of love, nappy dugout, fur burger
C’mon. Is there not one among us who can get this done?
I live in a pretty intense truck culture in Canada (they call our province “the Texas of the North”) but I have never ever scene a truck with testicles. Naked lady mudflaps, yes. Balls, no.
I just started seeing the truck balls around Chicago. How do I explain these to the children?? Especially huge dangly blue latex balls?
Puberty was never so scary as when introduced by completely superfluous truck accessories…
I thought that I could just pick up the Varga CD and a few penis pillows, and humpa-stuff…but now I have to explain truck balls. I would like to see a truck vajayjay too in order to further our discussions of the mating rituals of trucks.
I’ve seen a few of the latex offenses on some trucks around here and my first thought is that its a damn shame I don’t have sharp scissors on hand.
I think this its reproductive prowess that these species of male are all about, I think a set of ovaries is the best response — and would baffle most of those self styled breeding experts.
September 28, 2010 at 9:38 am
I agree. Ive seen enough of deer and bull balls dragging behind some ‘clever’ construction working (who also chooses # 69 for his number on the softball team uniforms). Maybe I should move to Europe.
September 28, 2010 at 9:39 am
i love the
ballslabia of whomever puts this on their truck.September 28, 2010 at 9:40 am
“Cooters that are too small, just won’t work.”
That sounds like a complaint from a customer to a pimp.
September 28, 2010 at 9:41 am
I actually think this is pretty awesome. I, too, hate the stupid truck nuts.
September 28, 2010 at 9:41 am
“A cooter that drags on the ground is unappealing.”
Well – now I know why I don’t get laid.
September 28, 2010 at 9:42 am
Eugh! Equality in tackiness. Makes me proud to be a feminist.
September 28, 2010 at 9:42 am
Who knew redneckery/white trashery was a facet of the equality movement??? Keepin’ it classy!
September 28, 2010 at 9:43 am
*sigh* Taking on the worst things from men does not equal feminism.
I blame Coyote Ugly. Because I have to blame it for something.
September 28, 2010 at 9:45 am
I’m sure it’ll go great with that woman-man-fish-bicycle bumper sticker she undoubtedly already has on her vehicle.
September 28, 2010 at 9:46 am
Maybe it’s the truck aspect, but the image that popped into my head was this: http://bit.ly/bVxPYW
September 28, 2010 at 9:47 am
Viking – this is what came to my mind
http://whitetrashfolks.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/panty-gun.jpg
September 28, 2010 at 9:47 am
I really need to do another cross country trip.
Had no idea that Nebraska was so full of whimsy.
September 28, 2010 at 9:50 am
Oh c’mon, a vajayjay? Let’s admit it, ladies, not necessarily our most beautiful feature. A nice round pair of boobs would’ve been a better request.
September 28, 2010 at 9:51 am
@ 13 -agreed. A nice rack on a rack.
September 28, 2010 at 9:51 am
I think this woman is my new best friend! Seriously, to do something like this in NEBRASKA indicates that while her labia may not drag on the ground, her pendulous cohones certainly do. Hairy bumper cooter FTW!
September 28, 2010 at 9:51 am
Almost makes me want to go out and buy a truck with a hitch so I can get a hanging cooter, too.
Almost.
September 28, 2010 at 9:52 am
Why not a pair of ovaries? or a pair of boobs? why a vag? I don’t even think most folks would get it.
September 28, 2010 at 9:54 am
of course she is willing to spend $100 on it. I should get to work on that!
September 28, 2010 at 10:02 am
I would love to see a completed photo of this project! Hopefully whomever wins the bid will post something…
September 28, 2010 at 10:04 am
Truck testicles and cooters are all fun and games amongst adults but when my 8 year old niece pointed to a truck with “blue” balls and asks “what’s that?” I had to lie and say it was a Canadian trailer hitch because, you know, they have the metric system up there and other weird stuff. I mean, she’ll realize what tacky dumbass means soon enough.
September 28, 2010 at 10:07 am
If you pay $100 for pussy, you’ll get what you pay for.
September 28, 2010 at 10:10 am
thank god I am not the only one who thought dukes of hazard cooter.
god bless you.
September 28, 2010 at 10:12 am
I wonder what kind of lovely things she’ll attract with that thing as a ‘beacon’ on her truck -road rash being the most benign .
September 28, 2010 at 10:12 am
No snark here. I fully support this. I hate those truck balls!
September 28, 2010 at 10:13 am
I think that’s a joke one submitted by our own Michael? I think he wrote it last night…
September 28, 2010 at 10:17 am
wouldn’t that just look like you ran over a wild vagina on your way home?
also, who is posing for this? is it ok to drive around with a model of someone else’s vagina strapped onto your hitch? what’s the etiquette here?
September 28, 2010 at 10:25 am
I think I’d attach a cooter to the grill of a truck. Then, if I were ever responsible for a rear-end collision, I have the solace of knowing that the vehicles died happy.
September 28, 2010 at 10:26 am
No snark here either. And it’s nice to see a WTF alchemy request with what looks like a reasonable ideal price. I still wouldn’t get one myself, but it made me laugh.
September 28, 2010 at 10:27 am
I love the idea. Its about time someone did it.
September 28, 2010 at 10:31 am
Well, at least the Mormons en masse won’t have to look at it.
September 28, 2010 at 10:39 am
why would anyone want to hang a perfectly harmless turtle to their trai…..
oooooohhhhhh! ….i just got it.
September 28, 2010 at 10:40 am
this is the beginning of a new fad in the mid west
Genetailgating!
September 28, 2010 at 10:41 am
IndyJules – quick thinking! good job! (blame Canada…)
September 28, 2010 at 10:44 am
The longer I hang around Regretsy, the more I discover how dull being me really is.
I have a truck, I have a medium hung cooter, and never
OUNCE have I considered anything like this.
September 28, 2010 at 10:45 am
part of me still hopes against hope that the whole truck-nuts phenomenon springs from a misguided belief that you can breed trucks.
that would make it all so much better
September 28, 2010 at 10:49 am
If I had money to invest, I’d be ready to maket that idea… But then that’s probably why I’m everything but a successful business woman.
September 28, 2010 at 10:49 am
*market, not maket!
September 28, 2010 at 10:49 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
September 28, 2010 at 10:49 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
September 28, 2010 at 10:59 am
The boys have seen these “hanging” from trucks on our various drives. I have not explained the full meaning to them yet, just that the driver thinks it is cool, the same way my Red Sox stickers on the van are cool to me.
By the way, if you need to pretend to be a man, hang a set of nuts from your truck. That way, when your WHOA-man leaves you, she can take your trailer, your money AND your nuts in one fell swoop.
Me? I prefer to cart the monsters around in a minivan. Amazingly, I still feel just as manly as ever.
September 28, 2010 at 11:02 am
Completely off-topic but I must say that #36 has to be the creepiest looking avatar I have seen formed on this site yet…
Seriously what is that? Tentacle pussy lips??? lol
~On Topic~
I too am completely behind this idea. We need more cooters for our testicles!!!
September 28, 2010 at 11:18 am
I appreciate the egalitarian nature, and reasonable compensation, of this request. Just because I get sick of seeing jock itch commericals, however, doesn’t necessarily mean I wish to see more feminine itch product advertisements.
September 28, 2010 at 11:19 am
Personally, I think breasts would be another obvious male generated icon on a truck. A big hairy vulva is going to scare the shit out of most rednecks. Which is why it is superior.
September 28, 2010 at 11:20 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
September 28, 2010 at 11:23 am
the only way I can envision this working is if the cooter was capping the trailer hitch. IF you know what I mean.
And you could still hang a ball sack from it.
(honestly the first time I heard “truck nuts” I thought they were the companions of “truck bolts” to affix the trailer hitch to the back of the truck. And I might have asked for English truck nuts, because it was for a Dodge. If it was for a Euro/Japanese vehicle, I would have asked for metric truck nuts, of course.)
September 28, 2010 at 11:24 am
@ GoreKitten-Tentacled pussy lips -why that is completely ON topic!
This makes ‘head on collision’ & ‘get rear ended’
a new category for insurance companies.
September 28, 2010 at 11:29 am
I had never seen a pair of truck-nuts until this year. Then one day driving down a freeway I frequent, I saw *three* different trucks with them. O.o
This alchemy customer is thinking with her vag… and for once, I’m cool with that.
September 28, 2010 at 11:45 am
Does this mean that she’ll have to wash her truck with Summers’ Eve?
September 28, 2010 at 11:46 am
i love the tone of this request, though.
….would that make it a Wry Cooter?
September 28, 2010 at 11:50 am
I want one! Do you think they can make a vulva for my Volvo?
September 28, 2010 at 11:54 am
Ugh! I’m tired of those ball hitch ornaments too. Who knew “straight” guys liked to accessorize? Well, redneck/insecure ones anyway.
I’ve always felt someone should start making thong hitch hangers. It’s classier and would go well with those “this isn’t my guy’s truck” bumper stickers.
September 28, 2010 at 11:59 am
God help me, I know where this place is. Actually, I used to live there like 11 years ago. Tiny town, maybe 200 people. I’ll totaly share a picture when I see this thing around.
September 28, 2010 at 12:16 pm
Wouldn’t duct-taping a fleshlight to the hitch be a lot faster and cheaper?
September 28, 2010 at 12:50 pm
I can see it now, on electronic freeway billboards-instead of an Amber Alert, there’ll be warnings to look out for herds of wild vagoos….gotta’ love it.
September 28, 2010 at 1:14 pm
So when a chick says ‘wanna’ get hitched?’, it might not mean what you think it means.
September 28, 2010 at 1:17 pm
I can’t say anything. I feel like it speaks for itself. We’re in a new Regretsy year and already we have a winner. Somebody photoshop me a bronze cooter hanging off a truck stat! (Alas, I am sans photo manipulating program.)
I’m also digging the ‘redneck’ tag.
September 28, 2010 at 1:32 pm
@#52, sadly it wouldn’t, because the request specified that the open vagoo has to be visible from a distance of at least 20 feet. Fleshlights aren’t that big.
September 28, 2010 at 1:42 pm
I can’t believe no one has bid on this yet! Since when does Etsy have a shortage of people wanting to make vaginas???
September 28, 2010 at 2:12 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
September 28, 2010 at 2:27 pm
Hey cars already wear bras, so why not? But I’m thinkin’ metal isn’t the best material here.
A couple of pink mudflaps artfully hung from your hitch would make the perfect Car Cooter™.
September 28, 2010 at 2:57 pm
What I wanna know is whose undercarriage will be used for a model?
September 28, 2010 at 3:36 pm
“Car Cooters: Your Car Already Has a Bra. Why Not Give It a Cooter?”
As Seen on TV
September 28, 2010 at 3:50 pm
I’d much rather see this than some idiot’s fake balls that he puts on his truck to compensate for having raisins.
September 28, 2010 at 4:00 pm
What do you want to bet she’ll get pulled over and jailed for public indecency…by a police truck with truck nuts?
September 28, 2010 at 4:22 pm
don’t come whining to us when your car gets the herp or something worse
September 28, 2010 at 4:49 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
September 28, 2010 at 5:37 pm
Aw, C’MON! Which one of you guys lives in DeWitt, NE?
September 28, 2010 at 6:23 pm
There are truck nuts? Straight men hang testicles from their truck hitches? Where have I been?
September 28, 2010 at 11:51 pm
I just hope that whomever responds to this request uses the actual hitch as the clitoris…
September 29, 2010 at 12:58 am
There’s just got to be a niche for a ‘cooter scooter’.
September 29, 2010 at 1:57 am
I didn’t know where De Witt was in Nebraska until I Googled it. Apparently it’s in the same county as Crete, which is the home of Crete Carrier Corp.
I really hope this means the requester works for the aforementioned trucking company…that way there’s a really good chance that those of us outside Nebraska might get to witness this ‘truck vulva’ in person.
September 29, 2010 at 4:36 am
I couldn’t agree more. A cooter that drags on the ground would be most unappealing.
September 29, 2010 at 7:05 am
#60 debbie – love your new name, you illegal mean-spirited biotch.
September 29, 2010 at 8:05 am
I can’t believe no one has even bid on this yet, despite the fact that she has helpfully updated her list of tags: cooter, pussy, snatch, red snapper, camel toe, beaver, coochie, muff, anal alternative, land down under, tunnel of love, nappy dugout, fur burger
C’mon. Is there not one among us who can get this done?
September 29, 2010 at 11:09 am
Nappy dugout~ bahahahaha
Pull up to the bumper baby….
September 29, 2010 at 1:25 pm
I’ll wait for the Chia Pet version. “Va-gi-gi-gina!”
September 29, 2010 at 10:27 pm
I live in a pretty intense truck culture in Canada (they call our province “the Texas of the North”) but I have never ever scene a truck with testicles. Naked lady mudflaps, yes. Balls, no.
September 30, 2010 at 7:45 pm
I just started seeing the truck balls around Chicago. How do I explain these to the children?? Especially huge dangly blue latex balls?
Puberty was never so scary as when introduced by completely superfluous truck accessories…
I thought that I could just pick up the Varga CD and a few penis pillows, and humpa-stuff…but now I have to explain truck balls. I would like to see a truck vajayjay too in order to further our discussions of the mating rituals of trucks.
October 17, 2010 at 1:54 pm
I’ve seen a few of the latex offenses on some trucks around here and my first thought is that its a damn shame I don’t have sharp scissors on hand.
I think this its reproductive prowess that these species of male are all about, I think a set of ovaries is the best response — and would baffle most of those self styled breeding experts.