My Favorite Butthurt
In the last year, I’ve received a fair bit of angry email, some of which was even spelled correctly. This mail ran the gamut of emotions, from Wah to Waaaah.
Here then, is some of my favorite butthurt.
I demand that my work be withdrawn from your site immediately. I enjoy a good laugh, but this is ridiculous. I have made 15 sales in 24 hours and I am inundated with requests for custom work. How dare you do this to me. You have ruined my life. I have received over 4000 views on my store since yesterday and I am furious. I have taken down my store. I hope you are pleased with yourself, this is a terrible thing you do. You will be hearing from my lawyers.
I’m not sure if you linked to my Etsy page. Someone linked from your blog to my site and it seems to have generated some sales, so thanks, keep it up. Your blog is a new low point of negativity and solipsism. You have the critical power of an insecure 8th grader. You have set your self up as an arbiter of taste, which seems like a precarious place for someone such as yourself. I’m sure you take delight in receiving negative email, so I hope this make your day.
J.R. Randolph
Dear J.R.,
I didn’t link to you. I think your work is beautiful. But then I have no taste.
H.K.
Have you no dignity? if you would rein in that comment section you might be able to save this yet. You’ve got to grasp the idea that your concept is flawed and the whole regretsy thing CAN be salvaged. Maybe you could do a serious book on the lesson you’ve learned from this project from a spiritual standpoint and how you felt this was nessessary to put food on your table. Its not too late, tell them Random House people you want to take the project in a different direction–if they don’t buy it, then fuck ‘em. Print it yourself. But please discontinue raping my dream and try to get back in touch with your moral center.
YOUR LINKS TO ETSY ARE ILLEGAL … YOU KNOW YOU HAVE COPYRIGHT VIOLATIONS AND YOU ENCOURAGE PEOPLE TO BE NASTY AND MEAN SPIRITED WHICH IS ILLGEAL…YOU HAVE INDIVIDUALS BOTH INSIDE AND OUTSIDE OF ETSY THAT YOU PAY TO SEND YOU IMAGES. AND I AM NOT FINISHED…EVERYONE IS GOING TO BE ADVISE HOW TO DEAL WITH YOU FROM A LEGAL ASPECT.
LAST WORD IS MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am reporting you to Etsy and to my lawyers…I would not have cared about your opinion if it were just directed towards the image. But people are saying deflamatory things and they dont know me. And not put down anyone, but does is any these people have a formal education? Rather than argue maybe I should investigate this for criminal perspective…because commentary and critique are not in the same category as verbal assault. I would feel better if you made me an offer.
I am sending a formal letter to Random House demanding that they broaden the scope of this publication to also include the comments from your blog and the underlying implications…and I think they should provide comphensation to the artist andget someone more qualified to write the Regretsy book. I believe your intent is to ruin ETSY artist for what ever reason and that retribution should come to you in the form a lawsuit by ETSY and by FACEBOOK and others you have harmed and that the artist should recieve restitution because the individuals who’s comments and critique which are posted on your site, are NOT credible by academic standards or those identified in Webster’s Dictionary.
Be advised the I have reported you to the Chicago and Atlanta Police Department and will proceed with civil actions against you and those who are working on your behalf.
Why did you remove my commints?
I didn’t remove your comments. I didn’t publish them because I think people will make fun of your spelling errors, and I think that will upset you. – HK
I don’t know what spelling errors you are talking about I use spell check and check the grammar so unless you spell differently than Microsoft word. You think you are so perfect! This is the last second that I will waste of my time on the likes of people like you and those who post on your site you all are ignorant and will remain that way because you won’t bother to learn anything… before you spout off. Remove my photo at ounce!
Did you happen to notice I’ve closed my Etsy store? This, only days after Regretsy.com invited hundreds of people to personally mock my artwork. Because of Regretsy.com I’ve decided I want nothing to do with Etsy if it colludes with a site which basically does nothing more than denigrate and bully non-conventional artists for the sake of hitcount and profit. That kind of conformity enforcement is almost as sickening as the raw meat atmosphere of Regretsy.com’s comment streams.
I also do not give you the right to reproduce this correspondence.
The link to my shop on Etsy is mine and copyrighted to me. I do not give permission to anyone to link to me. Since this is a copyright infringement you better remove it as soon as possible. And don’t try that “fair use” business, because fair use is only for edducational purpose presented in an institution of higher learning and not for entertainment purposes.
I was informed by a woman who saw my piece on your site and bought it. You actually made me money with your little smear campaign. It had the opposite result of what you expected!
Do you ever consider the damage you do to people? It’s only a matter of time before your site pushes people in the direction of suicide and then I bet you mormons will have a really good laugh.
September 27, 2010 at 11:43 am
That last one: You fucking Mormons, all you want is for people to kill themselves. Fuck you, Mormons.
September 27, 2010 at 11:47 am
“you mormons will have a good laugh”?
September 27, 2010 at 11:48 am
So much wasted angst.
September 27, 2010 at 11:48 am
I just wanted you to know that I reported you for sending customers my way via the internet, which makes it a matter for Interpol. I also told some Mounties about it, so you better watch yourself in Canada.
September 27, 2010 at 11:48 am
There’s nothing quite so satisfying as hate mail that self-immolates.
September 27, 2010 at 11:49 am
This posting is copywrited. If you use it, my lawyers will have the last laugh. DO NOT SCREENCAP THIS!!!!
September 27, 2010 at 11:50 am
Oh, the sparkly tears that were shed!
Those letters were a thing of beauty and I am alone in the house, with no one to blurt out: “Hey, look what someone said to the Regretsy lady!”
The emotions emanating from the mail are giving me the urge to don a healing cloak and soak it in my own BO and energy- which is the same as BO, but more potent.
September 27, 2010 at 11:51 am
Because I’ve actually looked into this stuff—not illegal to link to a site. I’m surprised how many people don’t seem to get this. Just like it’s not illegal to visit a site. *shakes head*
Not quite Internet 101, but at least Internet 102, people.
If you’re unhappy that your stuff is on Regretsy then you either need to rethink your life or your sense of humor. And kudos to the sellers whose tongue in cheek work has been featured here & who actually get the joke.
September 27, 2010 at 11:51 am
Genius! This just made my day. As Regretsy makes my day every day. You nasty, mean spirited mormons. Happy Birthday!
September 27, 2010 at 11:52 am
“edducational purpose presented in an institution of higher learning”
Clearly something you know about.
September 27, 2010 at 11:52 am
How DARE you ruin that person’s life by (gasp) making them sales???? It’s not too late to turn your life around and write about your evil deeds from a spiritual point of view. Maybe you and the Mormons could get together on this before you drive some poor artist to suicide.
(and my new favorite word is “deflamatory”).
September 27, 2010 at 11:53 am
NOT ANOTHER WORD
September 27, 2010 at 11:54 am
so funny!! here’s some love mail to offset the hate mail…LOVE YOUR BLOG.
(all caps for effect…last word is mine.)
September 27, 2010 at 11:54 am
To quote The Aristocrats:
Those emails make their own gravy.
September 27, 2010 at 11:55 am
I do not give you the right to read this comment. DON’T DO IT NOT COOL
September 27, 2010 at 11:56 am
You made me sell things and get attention! Waaaaaa!
September 27, 2010 at 11:57 am
“And not put down anyone, but does is any these people have a formal education?”
I don’t know, does is you?
September 27, 2010 at 11:58 am
(Oooh, and I like the new generic avitars!) Happy Birthday, regretsy, I’ve been with you all year! I hope we make it many more….
September 27, 2010 at 11:58 am
BAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
September 27, 2010 at 11:58 am
I personally like the first one. How can you be so mad when you sold items and have so many requests for more? Your making money and thats the point of selling your stuff on esty, isn’t it?
The ones that bring in lawyers are just looking for money out of a lawsuit. Everyone else is just way to sensitive. Suck it up people! No matter how much your shit sucks someone, somewhere is gonna buy it cause it was featured on the regresty site. Its free advertising.
September 27, 2010 at 11:58 am
I lobes people. I rally, rally dew!
September 27, 2010 at 11:59 am
Oh, this is just made of win and smothered with awesomesauce. I don’t know how I’m going to handle a ‘favorite flounces’ post…
September 27, 2010 at 11:59 am
This mormon just tinkled a little in her special underwear.
Thanks for a year of laughs, Regretsy!
September 27, 2010 at 11:59 am
Oh and BY THE WAY Regretsy it is NOT LEGAL for you to keep wasting my work day with your little smear campaign of deflamatory commints. I have reported you to my bosses as the cause behind my lack of productivity. Your raw meat atmosphere is ruining my ability to focus. Stop it a ounce!!
September 27, 2010 at 11:59 am
It’s true… I’m mormon and I did have a really good laugh…
September 27, 2010 at 12:00 pm
“I’d like you to know I’ve contacted the police, fbi, consumer affairs, department of defense, a team of 42 laywers and my grandma to let you know that SELLING MY PRODUCTS IS WRONG! Die you ignorant swine.
Signed,
Someone Who Just Doesn’t Get It”
September 27, 2010 at 12:00 pm
I really do think that you have created the best job on earth! I only wish I had had the courage to do it first.
It never ceases to amaze me how delusional people are, especially about what they make or do. Hence the popularity of crap shows like American Idol & America’s Got Talent.
Keep up the good work!
September 27, 2010 at 12:01 pm
Deflamatory….lol
September 27, 2010 at 12:02 pm
the first one may be my favorite!
Paraphrased: How DARE you increase my sales!
yay!
i love that this is annoying people who need to be irritated, and then watching them try to extinguish the flames with gasoline!
if that isn’t encouragement enough to keep at it. i don’t know what is!
thank you HK!
September 27, 2010 at 12:02 pm
I’m new to the site. I wasn’t aware that I need to be Mormon to belong. I’ll go convert right now, if someone will just tell me where to order my magic underwear…
September 27, 2010 at 12:02 pm
Oh, the humanity! I am an avid fan and had never even heard of Etsy before somehow discovering Regretsy.
I had no idea Mormons were bent on provoking suicide in others. I learn something every day on this site!
Mostly I learn how some people a) “create” ugly stupid shit in the hopes of selling it, and b) how those same people can’t take a joke. If you’re that sensitive (and unable to spell) perhaps you should go back to merely surfing it for porn and glittery pony beads.
September 27, 2010 at 12:02 pm
Damn you HK for having a sense of humor, wit, and a computer and using all three in the name decency and good taste!
Someone got 15 sales in 24 hours, the horror, the insanity………..
The sheer fucking stupidity of the complaints makes me want to leave the planet.
If you are an artist/crafter/artisan of any stripe you had better be prepared for your work to be mocked at some point, and if you aren’t prepared for that eventuality, quit now.
September 27, 2010 at 12:03 pm
These letters have made my day! Oh, my. In the spirit of Dave Barry, I think “The Laughing Mormons” would be a great name for a rock band. One other note: As a professional proofreader, I invite anyone who thinks they can spell properly because of “spell check” to report to me AT OUNCE!
September 27, 2010 at 12:03 pm
As a mormon, I have never laughed harder.
September 27, 2010 at 12:05 pm
Deflamitory is my new favorite word.
September 27, 2010 at 12:05 pm
Suicidal Etsy Mormons?
*grabs the popcorn.
September 27, 2010 at 12:05 pm
Also, I had no idea it is illegal to be mean spirited. Holy shit would that have been lifechanging information to have in junior high.
September 27, 2010 at 12:06 pm
“your review hurt me! i cried all the way to the bank!” -Liberace
September 27, 2010 at 12:08 pm
Copy/pasted from the Etsy website (because omg links are illegal):
“Copyright protects expression. Copyright does not protect ideas. Copyright does not protect facts, systems, or methods of operation, although it may protect the way these things are expressed.”
Even though companies have been trying for years, you can’t copyright the Internet. These emails made me die a little inside. Thanks for brightening my day.
September 27, 2010 at 12:08 pm
In honor of your birthday & in the spirit of giving:
Feel free to continue raping my dream.
September 27, 2010 at 12:09 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
September 27, 2010 at 12:11 pm
“Did you happen to notice I’ve closed my Etsy store?”
Ummm…no, we suicide-provoking mormons really only live to rape your dreams and move on. Get over yourself; I promise everyone in our sect has long ago.
September 27, 2010 at 12:11 pm
People still don’t realize that the madder they get, the funnier everyone else thinks it is.
September 27, 2010 at 12:12 pm
I can’t decide which “hurt” I like best but it’s probably the legal ones, since I work in that industry. And last time I checked, linking to a public website is not illegal. Nor is encouraging people to be nasty. And as an aside, who bitches about getting traffic and sales for their Etsy store? This little butthurt Etsy artist went wahh wahh wahh all the way to the bank.
September 27, 2010 at 12:12 pm
Ah! Regretsy – bursting your bubble since 2009!
Happy Birthday you dream raping mormon!
September 27, 2010 at 12:12 pm
“I also do not give you the right to reproduce this correspondence.”
-I also wish I could not give you the right to produce such fuckery.
September 27, 2010 at 12:13 pm
We tried to but beer from some morons in Utah on a ‘dry’ day & all we heard was ‘no way’. Kept asking ‘why’& was told ‘that is a dumb question’.
I insisted that ‘know question is to dum’.
September 27, 2010 at 12:13 pm
“That kind of conformity enforcement is almost as sickening as the raw meat atmosphere of Regretsy.com’s comment streams.”
I guess it’s easy to confuse the atmosphere of Regretsy with Lady Gaga’s outfit, but who the fuck are you to accuse anyone of conformity enforcement?
September 27, 2010 at 12:14 pm
Please discontinue raping my dream = best butthurt quote ever.
September 27, 2010 at 12:15 pm
That last one kills me. For all the Internets lawyers out there, a while back some friends of mine were the target of the federal case which ended up proving that links are allowed to link. http://www.finnegan.com/FordMotorCov2600Enters/ http://www.2600.com/news/view/article/1225
September 27, 2010 at 12:15 pm
this mormon is dying but only because i’m laughing so hard!
September 27, 2010 at 12:18 pm
Okay, emmeloowho. Fess up. Tell us exactly how you Mormons are plotting with Ms. Killer to drive hardworking artisans to suicide!
September 27, 2010 at 12:23 pm
hai, first time posting here.
I am a crafter and I CRAVE criticism, b/c it’s the best way to improve, but people who know me personally are often too nice to tell the dirty truth. I may *guess* that people didn’t like my products by the lack of response, but postings on social network sites flow by too quickly, so it’s hard to tell whether people just didn’t see the post or they actually came up with some derisive comment and chose not to post it.
September 27, 2010 at 12:24 pm
Apparently every seller on Etsy has an entire legal team waiting in the wings. I wonder how many shitty Michael Jackson charcoal drawings it takes to pay the Clerk of Court’s fees…
September 27, 2010 at 12:24 pm
I know a too-close-talker that could use some commints.
September 27, 2010 at 12:25 pm
say what!
YOU HAVE INDIVIDUALS BOTH INSIDE AND OUTSIDE OF ETSY THAT YOU PAY TO SEND YOU IMAGES.
well I think you have some check writing to do, missy.
September 27, 2010 at 12:25 pm
these letters make me think I need to change my screen name to pplrfckngrtrds.
September 27, 2010 at 12:25 pm
Gee, my Mormon Brother in Law has been trying to convert me, now I can tell him I already am one!
September 27, 2010 at 12:26 pm
I’m kinda torn really. While I wouldn’t want my store to be on Regretsy ,cause I’d like to think it wouldn’t belong, I wouldn’t freak out and be all butthurt with waaaaahmbulance abounding.
I’d take it in stride and enjoy the extra revenue since they all seem to sell afterwards. The idea of Etsy is to sell your creations, not regulate who can see them and if they’re worthy of purchasing your brain placentas or not.
September 27, 2010 at 12:27 pm
This is the best clip show evar.
September 27, 2010 at 12:28 pm
I’m guessing none of these people have EVER read a “Terms and Conditions” page.
September 27, 2010 at 12:29 pm
I need a CONFORMITY ENFORCEMENT uniform shirt now.
September 27, 2010 at 12:30 pm
Oooooh, J.R. used a thesaurus!
September 27, 2010 at 12:34 pm
You Mormons don’t have a once of scents!
September 27, 2010 at 12:36 pm
HOW DARE YOU GIVE ME 4000 VIEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HOPE IT MAKE YOUR DAY THAT I HAD 15 SALES IN 24 HOURS!!!!!!!!!!! I DEMAND MY COMMINTS BE PUBLISHED AT OUNCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
September 27, 2010 at 12:37 pm
Hey! I didn’t know an attorney or two on retainer was included in the seller’s fees! Sweet!
September 27, 2010 at 12:38 pm
“Apparently every seller on Etsy has an entire legal team waiting in the wings. I wonder how many shitty Michael Jackson charcoal drawings it takes to pay the Clerk of Court’s fees…”
The fee to file a complaint in Los Angeles Superior Court will run you about $330-335. So, depending on how much you charge per shitty Michael Jackson charcoal drawings…
September 27, 2010 at 12:39 pm
Damn it! I did not open an Etsy store so people could just give me money and take my stuff. These are MY things and I don’t want any of you mormons buying it!
September 27, 2010 at 12:42 pm
You know, you could make a new website: HatemailtoRegretsy.com and make even more billions of dollars than you do today! Wasn’t that you in the Forbes 400 issue that came to my door last week?
September 27, 2010 at 12:44 pm
“And not put down anyone, but does is any these people have a formal education?” ….perfection
September 27, 2010 at 12:50 pm
Have you ever noticed that no one ever seems to have just one lawyer? Everyone is always going to refer the matter to their lawyers… as if the dude selling custom Jesus butt-plugs has the same huge legal team that represents BP or GM… or the Moron Church in Salt Lake City.
September 27, 2010 at 12:53 pm
Out of all the commints, “discontinue raping my dreams” is my favourite.
I’m going to use it in everyday speech in the hope it catches on.
September 27, 2010 at 12:57 pm
Oh, you have to have multiple attorneys. I have one to defend my copyright on the Declaration of Independence (damned Americans think -they- own it), I have one to defend me against my neighbor who is plotting to get me just because my Darling Fifipiepuppysnuggles has a very delicate constitution and needs to go piddlypoo in just one certain spot on their driveway, and one to protect me from the Mormons who stalk me. Oh, and I have one to defend me against the Evil Intrawebs Demons who plot to give me sales and views in my Etsy store. I pay for them all with the revenue from my parking meters, you might have seen them downtown?
September 27, 2010 at 12:58 pm
I’ve told the cyberpolice about your copywright infringmints. Your probabaly a Mormen and a communist and this proves that the terrorists are winning.
September 27, 2010 at 12:59 pm
Vannharl, will you PLEASE discontinue raping my dreams by talking about stealing the phrase “discontinue raping my dreams”???
September 27, 2010 at 1:02 pm
I must admit to feeling like part of an elite & secret society when I say things like ‘would you like a butt plug to squelch your cryabeetus ‘?
This, & other terms , born of Regretsy, deserve a top slot in everyday language, if not also in medical diagnostic terminology.
It’s only a matter of time.
September 27, 2010 at 1:02 pm
I shall discontinue at ounce.
September 27, 2010 at 1:02 pm
That last whiner really should read Suntrust v. Houghton Mifflin Co., 252 F. 3d 1165 (11th Cir. 2001)to get a handle on “fair use.”
September 27, 2010 at 1:03 pm
I find it amusing that they threaten legal action. That right there is the first and prime example of someone who is full of shit.
The first rule is thumb is that you NEVER email someone and personally threaten legal action. That is the attorneys job and a decent one will advise you never to threaten suing.
You advise your attorney THEN the attorney sends the necessary paperwork and advisments.
September 27, 2010 at 1:04 pm
Wow.. I laughed so hard my cheeks hurt. Complaining about views and sales because of regretsy? Wtf!? lol
I would love to be featured here if it would sell all my paintings
September 27, 2010 at 1:06 pm
“And not put down anyone, but does is any these people have a formal education?”
I’m just going to leave this here.
September 27, 2010 at 1:06 pm
Oh noes! They’re going to backtrace you on the interwebs, and consequences will never be the same!
September 27, 2010 at 1:08 pm
Oh sure, it’s always mormons this, suicide that. What about the muslins?
Kudos on the first birthday, HK! Has it really been so long since I viewed my first WTF post on this site? *sigh*
September 27, 2010 at 1:11 pm
Happy first anniversary, Regretsy.
MOAR, MOAR!
September 27, 2010 at 1:12 pm
oh boy, I’m in big trouble, I had no idea that being MEAN SPIRITED WAS ILLEGAL! And you know it’s true when it’s in all caps.
September 27, 2010 at 1:15 pm
wtf is wrong with the first one? Is he/she/it actually *complaining* about selling loads of their shit? And bitching that they’re getting more traffic and more business?
September 27, 2010 at 1:17 pm
I think all your replies to Butthurt people should end like this:
and Wah-Laa!,
HK
September 27, 2010 at 1:26 pm
Deflamatory IS a real word: I read it in Webster’s Dictionary.
Also, FYI, you DO NOT have permission to reproduce this correspondence. I have already contacted my team of lawyers.
September 27, 2010 at 1:27 pm
These people with their silly lawsuits. In Canada we just show up with a pack of Molson and an axe to settle disputes.
Also, thank you for “deflamatory”. My vocabulary gets richer every day I read Regretsy.
September 27, 2010 at 1:27 pm
Dear LAST WORD IS MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:
No it isn’t.
and excessive use of exclamation points are regarded as an indication of mental illness.
think about it.
September 27, 2010 at 1:28 pm
“YOU ENCOURAGE PEOPLE TO BE NASTY AND MEAN SPIRITED WHICH IS ILLGEAL.” Just imagine the prison overcrowding if it were “illgeal.” Happy Birthday and many more, Regretsy.
September 27, 2010 at 1:43 pm
Your site recently leaked the valuable Death Star plans our firm cleverly encoded and hid on an Etsy page.
You are part of the Rebel Alliance and a traitor!
Take him away!
September 27, 2010 at 1:52 pm
Dear April,
I was manning my booth at an art festival on Saturday and was next to a fellow artist. Someone came up to her and said, “Oh my God! I saw your stuff on Regretsy!” and she said, “I know! They totally ripped me apart on there, it was hilarious.” I then felt compelled to speak up and say that I have not yet made it onto Regretsy proper, but someone put my stuff up on Facebook Regretsy. With that they proclaimed our collective coolness, we all did a terrorist fist jab and then that person bought something from both of us.
Happy Birthday Regretsy – you are made of win! Thanks for the extra sales.
Oh wait… was I supposed to be filled with rage?
I can never get this shit straight.
September 27, 2010 at 1:56 pm
Hysterical and sad. They do still teach English in schools, don’t they?
September 27, 2010 at 2:00 pm
As a side note, I would be very interested in “Please continue raping my dream” coffee mug.
September 27, 2010 at 2:02 pm
Dear Regresty,
How dare you think it’s ok to promote my site? I mean, the whole point is for me to sell things, but how dare you help me do it! Shame on you for ruining my life and providing me with income!!! Damn mormons!
September 27, 2010 at 2:02 pm
@95 I would drink tea from such a mug!
September 27, 2010 at 2:05 pm
That first one isn’t real. Is it? It can’t be. Even after a year on Regretsy, I just can’t believe anyone could string those particular thoughts together without recognizing the ridiculousness of it. Please tell me you made up the first one, FOR THE LOVE OF DOG!
September 27, 2010 at 2:10 pm
Hahahahha #4, yeah HK, you better watch yourself in Canada because if I see you I’m going to hug you and I guarantee it will be uncomfy. From the bottom of my snarkastic crafthole heart I love Regretsy.
September 27, 2010 at 2:13 pm
This was just the healthy gutlaugh I needed to end this Monday workday. I think I just peed a little. Thank you for helping me retain my sanity.
September 27, 2010 at 2:28 pm
These people are nuts!
September 27, 2010 at 2:29 pm
Mmm…infringeMints. Cool, refreshing little treats decked out in groovy hippie vests. Dressed to thrill!
September 27, 2010 at 2:54 pm
Wait, I’m a Mormon now?
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*wakes up* (Thank God, just a bad dream.)
(Oh, and happy birthday, Regretsy!)
September 27, 2010 at 2:58 pm
“I had no idea Mormons were bent on provoking suicide in others. I learn something every day on this site!”
Twilight. Srsly.
September 27, 2010 at 3:26 pm
OH THE HUMANITY!
Someone please make this at ounce:
September 27, 2010 at 3:30 pm
Do none of these people realize their products are being advertized FOR FREE?! I only dream of making something cool enough to end up here.
September 27, 2010 at 3:43 pm
These salty sellers need a prescription for a reality check. I recommend a dose of 10 hours of 4Chan and a half a hit of acid.
Then they’ll finally know how I feel after I see their “art”.
September 27, 2010 at 4:06 pm
I think the first thing I saw on here was the Edward and Bella clay pots. I was in love. Now every day when I’m supposed to be working I have to see what’s new, and occasionally other people hear me screaming with laughter THROUGH CONCRETE WALLS and come to make sure I didn’t choke on the toxic printer toner fog. You know how Mormons are.
September 27, 2010 at 4:15 pm
If being “nasty and mean-spirited” is illegal, can we all be in the same cellblock?
September 27, 2010 at 4:37 pm
gee if you did not want people to mock your crap do not post it online did you think no one would see it ?
September 27, 2010 at 4:45 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
September 27, 2010 at 5:34 pm
Me= not a mormon. Me also= educated perfectly well, thank you. I apologize for ‘raping your dream’ by poking a little fun.
In all seriousness though, when it comes to the heart, we regretsians (?) are generally a great bunch of people. There’s no harm in relieving a bit of tension by having a laugh and being a bit snarky. Instead of losing our tempers and killing people, we make a few sarcastic comments on a website. Big deal. Although, God forbid we earn you any money at the cost of the indignity of our ‘raw meat atmosphere’ in the comment stream (no longer serious, couldn’t keep it up).
Anyway, let me save someone else the comment: Too long/didn’t read. Thank you
September 27, 2010 at 5:36 pm
Hey- my avatar picture has changed. Not that I’m not loving the whole ‘pink zombie-vampire diamond creature’ but I sort of miss my ‘blue vagina and filopian tubes creature’…
September 27, 2010 at 5:52 pm
@95, hey put me down for one of those mugs. I’ve been a closet regretsy fan now for several months, stealthily checking comments that reflected my thoughts and snickering. For your birthday, I’m coming out. Before you, I innocently thought ETSY was all ethereal creations by gifted craftsmen and artisans. You’ve shown me the dark side and it’s either douse my eyes with acid or toast to you and yours with a “rape my dream” mug. I pick toast.
September 27, 2010 at 6:11 pm
Words to live by from Microsoft Word…
September 27, 2010 at 6:43 pm
So harsh. Couldn’t we just have consensual intercourse involving ‘rougher than usual handling’ with their dream? Or maybe even take their dream out to dinner and movie, and who knows what else?
September 27, 2010 at 6:59 pm
I’m torn–do I hope to some day put something in my Etsy shop that is so hideous it gets ridiculed on Regretsy and boosts my sales, or do I play it safe and just wish….? That’s a tough one. Happy Birthday, Crazazy lady!
September 27, 2010 at 7:01 pm
“Does is any these people have a formal education?”
Maybe. Do are of you?
Also it is absolutely hilarious how little these people understand copyright law.
September 27, 2010 at 8:54 pm
I love Regretsy and I love the commenters! This blog inspired me to open my own shop on Etsy and I can only hope one day April will “ruin my life”, too!
September 27, 2010 at 9:31 pm
Wow – do people just not have a sense of humor anymore? Really? I come here to get a chuckle (okay, I pee myself laughing) – yeah stuff we say is mean sometimes, but it’s mean to make us look at your “fugly” crap! Oh, and that red squiggle – it’s your friend!
September 27, 2010 at 10:33 pm
I’m lovin’ this:
“I was informed by a woman who saw my piece on your site and bought it. You actually made me money with your little smear campaign. It had the opposite result of what you expected!”
See, the difference between this person and us ‘mormons’(it appears that I’ve changed religion, my mother will be so upset), is that we already know what the result will be, and we is wun hunddred puccent curekt!!
September 27, 2010 at 11:23 pm
As a college graduate, I’d like to say that I was not formally educated. I recall no tuxedos or formal gowns at the university during classes. Also, although I live in Las Vegas, I am not mormon (tho I know a fair few), but I may, in fact, be a moron (too hot here for those “garment things” anyway)?!?
Thanks for the laughs everyone!
September 28, 2010 at 12:58 am
But I don’t wanna be a Mormon! They have such strict rules. Can I be a lapsed Mormon instead? I mean, I’m already a lapsed Petecostal, so it’s not like I’m setting any sort of precedent.
Also, I just KNOW I am going to spend the next several days mistyping ‘once’ as ‘ounce.’
September 28, 2010 at 1:41 am
every one of these mails make me giggle like a complete nut. especially the first one is best. No i take that back “ME CALL COPS ON YOU WAAAA”
and I am amazed by how ignorant and uneducated these butt hurt people are about what is and is not illegal. There’s just more and more to laugh at. I know law it seems like ‘illegal’ in here is just another word for ‘WAAAAAAAAAAAAhbulance’.. its hilarious
why yes you whiners! i do have a formal education!
#114 i love you twinkle toes. i want the mug too
“DONT SCREENCAP THIS!” no reproducing my link! cause I hand crafted each little bitty letter with INK on my screen tattooed.
im going to go to bed now.. and laugh and cry till i pass out
September 28, 2010 at 2:12 am
I didn’t know it was illegal to poke good-natured fun at crap… You learn things every day I guess…
Oh, and I don’t give you permission to read this, it’s my own, my precious!!!!!111
September 28, 2010 at 5:34 am
Oh, I wish I was a fly on the lawyers’ wall when these people request legal advice on proceeding with their “law suits”. Hahahahaha!!!!
September 28, 2010 at 8:33 am
I finally had to come out of lurkdom and join the fun! The butthurt comments put me over the edge. Reading all the hate mail made me wonder how many of those “artists” have been on the Jerry Springer Show. Or at least had relatives there.
Happy Birthday!
September 28, 2010 at 5:24 pm
I have an Etsy shop, and I would be pretty much thrilled if I got 4,000 views in one day, no matter how much mocking was involved. Maybe that’s because my purpose is to make money, not to display how artistic and super-special I am.
September 28, 2010 at 7:32 pm
Wait…you’re mormons? Thats an ILLEGAL copyright infringement!
You will be hearing from my Lawyers! next time you should make me an offer.
September 29, 2010 at 2:02 pm
Commints! Now available in cinnamon!
September 30, 2010 at 9:22 pm
Oh some people just make me facepalm. Really, if you want to try and whine about dragging lawyers into things then learn a little bit about the actual laws.
I really don’t get it. Personally if I was ever on Regretsy and that drove traffic to my shop, I’d be ecstatic. Who cares whether someone’s buying it because they like it or because they think it’s so hilariously bad they have to have one? I would take the talent of making hilariously bad things that sell over making things that don’t sell at all.
September 30, 2010 at 11:45 pm
So many dreams, so little time.
October 1, 2010 at 12:49 am
I for one would totally wear a shirt that said “RAW MEAT ATMOSPHERE” and an arrow pointing downwards.
October 2, 2010 at 2:15 am
Here’s to even *lower* points of negativity and solipsism in years to come. *Especially* if it might be illgeal.
Deflame on, Regretsians!
October 7, 2010 at 9:07 am
Would they be happier if no one bought their ugly art?
October 9, 2010 at 7:37 am
I love angry letters of complaint.
October 14, 2010 at 9:26 pm
I’m still waiting to be comphensated.
October 15, 2010 at 11:49 am
If it was illegal to be mean spirited, thousands of douchebags who came to NY on 9/11 to protest a community center would be in jail. Actually thousands of douchebags all over NYC would be in jail every day, never mind.
But seriously, wtf is wrong with these people? I’m an artist, some people love my work, some people hate it, some just don’t give a crap. But having people make fun of my stuff and then buy a whole bunch of it would be a dream come true.
Crybabies…..
November 21, 2010 at 7:46 pm
“And not put down anyone, but does is any these people have a formal education?”
does is any you have one? I don’t think so
December 30, 2010 at 4:26 pm
I just discovered regretsy for the first time. I haven’t laughed this hard in weeks. I love this site. I am going to go sell some random home made crap on etsy and hope it ends up here. My 9 year old should be able to help, I think he has a collection of popsicle sticks and dryer lint that we can turn into some whimiscle piece of regretsy worthy crap. I am laughing so hard I may have caused myself internal damage.
March 28, 2011 at 1:33 am
Through Passive Aggressive Notes. How the fuck I got there however, I cannot tell you.
April 11, 2011 at 8:28 pm
That was some AWESOME butthurt! You made me sales! Damn you, Mormons!
April 19, 2011 at 11:18 pm
And the butt hurts keep coming….
Love!
April 20, 2011 at 10:09 am
Please discontinue raping my dream= priceless! Thank you, Helen! and please, do not discontinue raping their dreams, for the sake of Regretsy!
April 22, 2011 at 10:03 am
you make my mediocre whimsical housewifery life worth living. truly, you do.
September 18, 2011 at 8:04 am
WAAHHH YOU’RE MAKING ME LOTS OF MONEY WAAAHH.
December 4, 2011 at 6:04 pm
As a Mormon and closet Regretsy fan, I am both shocked and delighted at how many Mormons read a blog with so many naughty words, vaginas, and polymer penises. What would our Bishops think?! Hee hee hee!