oh lord. this reminds me of the animal spirit crap my mom had us do on her 10 year “i’m one with the native americans” kick. mine was a skunk. she was a wolf. I don’t see anything suspicious with that, at all.
Hamoza and WhyLikeThis: I must be punch-drunk from the latest posts-isn’t McClaine alive and how would one check to see if the lizard were telling the truth about Beatty?
My cats think this shit is ridiculous. They want treats now, in this life , period, end of discussion.
But I’m a little worried for my own karma, as I mistakenly snuffed out a lizard who I dearly loved as a teenager.
@knitten-kitten-’so what happens if you and your pet were on opposing sides in past lives?’
Pay her fee, and she’ll give you a map to the ‘rainbow bridge’. Right.
Apparently my mom was a soldier and my dad a slave in a past life. She cut out his tongue for speaking against some ruler dude. That’s why they have problems communicating. Not, you know, that she’s a fucking hippie and he was raised by baptist republicans.
@Jack Frieze: I always thought that was odd myself when i asked about it, she went on for about twenty minutes about non-linear time and mystic resonances.
i don’t care how nice they look anymore. the quartz crystals are coming out of that terrarium TODAY!
Maybe it’s just me, but the resemblance in the third and fifth ones really does seem uncanny. That dog’s expression is just priceless. “Yeah, you’d look this smug too if you were the coolest laid-back dog around.”
Hah #25 leftfoot – at least they got some aspects of the twining of karmic past lives correct. Which is more than most hippies do! (Looking for positives where they can be found…)
I consulted my 17 cats. Everyone says the idea belongs in the litterbox except for Tor, who says, “Well, of COURSE I was Tor Johnson in a past life. Duh. Do my toes.”
Oh I can’t wait to find out what famous historical figure could eat an adult size t-shirt, work it through their digestive system and then crap it out whole.
Because my lab retains that skill despite her many lifetimes.
Vile & Evil Debbie Downer
September 22, 2010 at 1:54 pm
I already consulted my cat. She confessed to being Charles Bukowski in her previous incarnation. Which explains why she’s so at home sprawled on the floor next to a puddle of her own puke.
I’ve come to the conclusion that my dog was Anna Anderson (of Grand Duchess Anastasia impersonation infamy). She lies, and she has an inflated sense of her own importance.
Dix, you seem to be implying there’s such a thing as a cat that is NOT a serial killer. You should reconsider this. Although not the reincarnated kind. Just the regular kind.
(Seriously, I love cats).
I just asked my dogs about their past lives, both of them would prefer a treat and belly rub to the discussion of their human soul. The budgie however, is pretty certain he was Elvis.
Goll y’all, if your critters, (serial killers & their ilk) are that naughty, you must be saints to keep ‘em around.
Mine are perfectly well mannered, non destructive sweet smelling little darlings…and I have a rainbow bridge to sell you. (wouldn’t change them for the world)
I have bronchitis or some shit, and I’ll have you know that anything with pictures of animals who look like celebrities makes me laugh like the complete and utter jackass Bernie swears I’m not. Since I just saw this, just this very minute, and I’m extra-vulnerable hopped up on Nyquil, you (HELEN!!) now owe me both a new set of pajama pants and some goddamn cough medicine. Because I nearly choked to death guffawing, and pissed myself.
September 22, 2010 at 9:35 am
Oh fuck, this is too awesome-I think I just had a cow.
Wait, I’m not sure I want a bovine in my lifeline.
And the lil’ doggie-needs to lay off the gin & juice.
September 22, 2010 at 9:39 am
My dog crapped on the carpets of Thomas Jefferson in a past life.
September 22, 2010 at 9:41 am
I already know my cat was Cleopatra — but whose wasn’t?
September 22, 2010 at 9:41 am
Who do you suppose The Cat was in its past?
September 22, 2010 at 9:42 am
My dog was a sand-barfing Etsy model in a past life.
September 22, 2010 at 9:43 am
That is one awesome looking cat.
September 22, 2010 at 9:46 am
i have a lizard who claims to have been Shirley MacClaine. i’d love to know whether or not she’s telling the truth
September 22, 2010 at 9:47 am
@#7-that’s the beauty of being a chameleon.
September 22, 2010 at 9:52 am
@WhyLikeThis-To verify, you could ask the little lizard to describe any ‘beauty marks’ on Warren Beattys dick.
September 22, 2010 at 9:54 am
@ Hamoza
…damn, you win. hadn’t thought of that
what about the tree frog who thinks he’s Ceaser? you think he’s been licking himself?
September 22, 2010 at 9:59 am
oh lord. this reminds me of the animal spirit crap my mom had us do on her 10 year “i’m one with the native americans” kick. mine was a skunk. she was a wolf. I don’t see anything suspicious with that, at all.
September 22, 2010 at 9:59 am
Can I just find out where my Burmese hid my other diamond stud?
September 22, 2010 at 10:03 am
Apparently her pets have all gone on to form a poorly constructed collage.
September 22, 2010 at 10:04 am
I did this one a couple years ago…
My dog totally looks like…
http://cheezburger.com/FrogFeathers/lolz/View/1154461952
September 22, 2010 at 10:05 am
i’m now actually pretty convinced that my cat was wendy o. williams in a past life.
September 22, 2010 at 10:07 am
Hamoza and WhyLikeThis: I must be punch-drunk from the latest posts-isn’t McClaine alive and how would one check to see if the lizard were telling the truth about Beatty?
September 22, 2010 at 10:07 am
Since goldfish have a very limited memory, I’m pretty sure yesterday was like a past life for them.
September 22, 2010 at 10:09 am
My cats think this shit is ridiculous. They want treats now, in this life , period, end of discussion.
But I’m a little worried for my own karma, as I mistakenly snuffed out a lizard who I dearly loved as a teenager.
September 22, 2010 at 10:13 am
I knew my beagle was Orson Wells!
September 22, 2010 at 10:14 am
She also does human past life regressions. So what happens if you and your pet were on opposing sides in past lives?
September 22, 2010 at 10:20 am
@JackFrieze-It’s debatable whether Shirley is dead or alive-I’m not sure if she knows.
September 22, 2010 at 10:24 am
@knitten-kitten-’so what happens if you and your pet were on opposing sides in past lives?’
Pay her fee, and she’ll give you a map to the ‘rainbow bridge’. Right.
September 22, 2010 at 10:29 am
This is stepping into dangerous waters, if you ask me. What if it turns out your pet used to own you in your former lives. Awkward.
I say let sleeping dogs lie.
September 22, 2010 at 10:31 am
anyone who wastes their money on this crap definitely used to be a leech…
“There’s a sucker born every minute.” -P. T. Barnum
September 22, 2010 at 10:31 am
Another story from my hippie childhood:
Apparently my mom was a soldier and my dad a slave in a past life. She cut out his tongue for speaking against some ruler dude. That’s why they have problems communicating. Not, you know, that she’s a fucking hippie and he was raised by baptist republicans.
September 22, 2010 at 10:31 am
I don’t know Hamoza, what if your cat was Cleopatra and you were Octavian? That rift might be a little too large for the rainbow to bridge.
September 22, 2010 at 10:34 am
@Jack Frieze: I always thought that was odd myself when i asked about it, she went on for about twenty minutes about non-linear time and mystic resonances.
i don’t care how nice they look anymore. the quartz crystals are coming out of that terrarium TODAY!
September 22, 2010 at 10:39 am
@WhyLikeThis: You know, that does sound an awful lot like Shirley MacClaine. Maybe your lizard was just her career. That’s been dead for a while now.
September 22, 2010 at 10:42 am
September 22, 2010 at 10:47 am
Great. One of our dogs has a laptop & is now holding me hostage. Either I deliver a ton of pigs ears or I’m dead meat.
September 22, 2010 at 10:47 am
…you may NOT want to know…
http://www.catsthatlooklikehitler.com/
September 22, 2010 at 10:56 am
I wonder what the nautilus snail shell pasties were in a previous life?
September 22, 2010 at 10:58 am
I have enough trouble dealing with the fact that one of my dogs is clearly a Republican; I do NOT want to know about his past lives!
[How do I know my dog is Republican? He does NOT like anything new to happen, ever.]
September 22, 2010 at 10:59 am
#25 leftfoot – wow! Your parents are Dharma and Greg? That is so awesome!
September 22, 2010 at 11:00 am
Maybe it’s just me, but the resemblance in the third and fifth ones really does seem uncanny. That dog’s expression is just priceless. “Yeah, you’d look this smug too if you were the coolest laid-back dog around.”
September 22, 2010 at 11:00 am
My cats are probably my other cats that died of old age.
I want to know who my ferrets were in their past lives.
September 22, 2010 at 11:20 am
Hah #25 leftfoot – at least they got some aspects of the twining of karmic past lives correct. Which is more than most hippies do! (Looking for positives where they can be found…)
September 22, 2010 at 11:22 am
I just found out my gerbil was Goebbels… I don’t even want to ask about Mousolini.
September 22, 2010 at 11:23 am
I consulted my 17 cats. Everyone says the idea belongs in the litterbox except for Tor, who says, “Well, of COURSE I was Tor Johnson in a past life. Duh. Do my toes.”
My dog has no comment.
September 22, 2010 at 11:26 am
Leave WilFORD BRIMLEY ALONE!!! lol
September 22, 2010 at 11:30 am
This finally explains the past life of Sarah Jessica Parker. I’ve always wondered about her, “why the long face?”.
September 22, 2010 at 12:05 pm
Oh I can’t wait to find out what famous historical figure could eat an adult size t-shirt, work it through their digestive system and then crap it out whole.
Because my lab retains that skill despite her many lifetimes.
September 22, 2010 at 12:18 pm
So if I find out my totem animal is the extinct dodo bird , do I get a refund?
September 22, 2010 at 1:17 pm
I’m pretty sure I know a cat who was Jack the Ripper in a past life…
September 22, 2010 at 1:21 pm
Buy Handmade!
September 22, 2010 at 1:54 pm
I already consulted my cat. She confessed to being Charles Bukowski in her previous incarnation. Which explains why she’s so at home sprawled on the floor next to a puddle of her own puke.
September 22, 2010 at 2:29 pm
I’ve come to the conclusion that my dog was Anna Anderson (of Grand Duchess Anastasia impersonation infamy). She lies, and she has an inflated sense of her own importance.
September 22, 2010 at 2:31 pm
Black Ice: I think I did, too. Either we knew the same cat or more than one serial killer has been reincarnated in feline form.
Carl Panzram would have been another good candidate. This can was a righteously mean SOB.
September 22, 2010 at 2:51 pm
@ #32 Knittin-kitten:
What were the nautilus pasties in a past life?
….Apparently very, very, bad!
September 22, 2010 at 3:24 pm
The Snoop Dogg dog is perfect!
September 22, 2010 at 3:39 pm
Dix, you seem to be implying there’s such a thing as a cat that is NOT a serial killer. You should reconsider this. Although not the reincarnated kind. Just the regular kind.
(Seriously, I love cats).
September 22, 2010 at 5:52 pm
THIS is why I come here. (No pun intended.) (Really.))
September 22, 2010 at 5:54 pm
Sorry; I managed to tear up over the Rainbow Bridge stuff (yet again) earlier; this post has brought me back to reality. Such as it is, lol.
September 22, 2010 at 6:27 pm
I just asked my dogs about their past lives, both of them would prefer a treat and belly rub to the discussion of their human soul. The budgie however, is pretty certain he was Elvis.
September 22, 2010 at 6:46 pm
Dix: all cats were probably serial killers in past lives.
September 22, 2010 at 7:17 pm
My dog was Ted Bundy in a past life.
September 22, 2010 at 7:24 pm
Goll y’all, if your critters, (serial killers & their ilk) are that naughty, you must be saints to keep ‘em around.
Mine are perfectly well mannered, non destructive sweet smelling little darlings…and I have a rainbow bridge to sell you. (wouldn’t change them for the world)
September 23, 2010 at 12:22 am
I have bronchitis or some shit, and I’ll have you know that anything with pictures of animals who look like celebrities makes me laugh like the complete and utter jackass Bernie swears I’m not. Since I just saw this, just this very minute, and I’m extra-vulnerable hopped up on Nyquil, you (HELEN!!) now owe me both a new set of pajama pants and some goddamn cough medicine. Because I nearly choked to death guffawing, and pissed myself.
I only wish I were joking.
September 23, 2010 at 3:34 pm
hey does a past life as a party animal count?
September 23, 2010 at 3:57 pm
I asked my cat about her previous lives…. and she promptly attacked my arm with teeth and nails… I think that answers that question….