From the Mailbag
From: Lauren
I was flipping through the September issue of Z!NK Magazine the other day and was hit with a face full of Fuckery. In one of their editorials, someone had styled a cardigan as a Skant.
It was a good thing I was in the bathroom at the time, because I almost shit myself when I saw it.
Thanks for all you do to keep me in the loop.
From: Christie
I found this on the side of the road today and thank God Jesus blessed me with a backyard to put it in.
It is a carpet Jesus with his friends of all races. I see Betty White in there too.
Mounted onto wood with a place for a light bulb in the back- we are scared to plug it in though.
From: Camille
I came across the Lollipop prom dress a few minutes ago and I realized, completely coincidentally, that one of my friends just had a photo shoot of yarn heads. She knows nothing of regretsy or etsy or anything. I feel dirty for knowing someone who could think this shit up.
THE MEN WHO LOOK AT GOATSE:
From: Beth
From: Lindsey
From: Miriam
From: Kim
Thanks a lot. I can’t even look at my daughters vacation bible school craft without seeing Goatse.
From: xyzzy
Full article here.
September 22, 2010 at 1:36 pm
holy shit, i want that jesus carpet muncher thing.
September 22, 2010 at 1:37 pm
Regretsy should be getting royalties for the skants.
September 22, 2010 at 1:46 pm
I’m actually terribly impressed that someone painted that with their penis! I’d also kind of like to see that DVD. Maybe one night when I’m home alone…
September 22, 2010 at 1:53 pm
I can’t help it. I love it when a beautiful woman says PRE-CUM.
September 22, 2010 at 1:56 pm
She found that carpet on the side of the ROAD?! HOW DARE ITS PREVIOUS OWNER DISRESPECT THE LORD!!!
September 22, 2010 at 2:00 pm
At first glance, I thought the NPR article could be fully viewed at VULVANET.
Thanks to Regretsy, I am able to keep my mind warped and twisted.
September 22, 2010 at 2:10 pm
Jesus loves me this I know, for the berber told me so.
September 22, 2010 at 2:11 pm
It would be great if all life was in italics
It gives a sense of URGANTCY
September 22, 2010 at 2:16 pm
Even if she plugged in the Jesus Embraces All Colors of People rug plaque, and had a horrible electrical mishap in the backyard, she could be comforted knowing that God was just providing her with her very own burning bush.
September 22, 2010 at 2:18 pm
I’m trying to get my poor brain around exactly how you would get down the street without breaking your own leg in the outfit from Zink.
I am, however, quite impressed by the painting by Pricasso.
September 22, 2010 at 2:19 pm
Wait… a light bulb mounted behind a carpet? This I gotta see.
September 22, 2010 at 2:26 pm
I’m totally impressed by Pricasso, too. Way better than that guy with the colon full of blue paint.
September 22, 2010 at 2:28 pm
Pricasso is a true artist, clearly.
September 22, 2010 at 2:46 pm
No doubt that skant is hiding a pimple covered flesh apron.
September 22, 2010 at 2:47 pm
The skant is just awesome in that is complete fuckery. I want to walk around looking like I just took a huge dump in my MC Hammer pants…..
September 22, 2010 at 2:57 pm
well, regretsy has officially taken over life now.
to be honest, i’m not sure how i feel about it, except that it was sorta inevitable.
i would like to say that nothing else can shock me from now on, but i know by tomorrow i would be proven horribly, horribly wrong.
September 22, 2010 at 2:59 pm
I’m actually amazed. Pricasso paints better with his penis than most people paint using their hands and a brush.
BUY DICKMADE!
September 22, 2010 at 3:13 pm
At first I thought the Jesus rug was a stained diaper.
September 22, 2010 at 3:48 pm
Like a tattoo is forever, once you’ve seen Goatse, you see it everywhere.
September 22, 2010 at 4:30 pm
Jesus’s face looks like a skull to me. Creepy.
September 22, 2010 at 4:52 pm
Because I’m masochistic enough to do so I followed the Goatse Security story link all the way through to the actually company website. http://security.goatse.fr/ They fully embrace their namesake.
September 22, 2010 at 5:02 pm
I’m a big contributor here at Regretsy, but totally missed the Pricasso thread. Do we know if he straps it on to his Pricasso? He couldn’t insert the brush..{shudder}. Does Pricasso need to be sufficiently excited while painting? how exactly does he stoke the brush and how many brush strokes does a painting take.Through her radio show and Regretsy April has enlightened me about Puppetry and Painting of the penis and it has enriched my life
September 22, 2010 at 5:07 pm
Pricasso does a spectacular job.
September 22, 2010 at 5:59 pm
Oh, my dear G-d…my day can’t get any better/worse. Or CAN it? I think it might just.
September 22, 2010 at 6:21 pm
Skants! God, we’re fashionable! Trend setters even!
And is anyone else going “that’s not what the continents look like” at the kid’s craft? No? Never mind, carry on…
September 22, 2010 at 6:27 pm
ROFL @ the original.
http://topics.npr.org/article/06fJ4bwbLGfcG/quotes?q=
“The question is in the back-end…” “The person or group that discovered this gap…”
September 22, 2010 at 8:21 pm
Pricasso also writes poetry on his site. I liked reading them out loud as if I were reading Dr. Seuss. Only people were offended and asked me to stop.
September 22, 2010 at 9:09 pm
I’m astonished that someone left the rug out instead of selling it on Etsy.
How could they have not heard about Regretsy?
September 22, 2010 at 9:10 pm
Oh my God, I love you all so much. Nothing like a new interpretation of “He’s Got the Whole World In His Hands” to break through my existential crisis and remind me that the meaning of life is whimsicle fuckery.
September 22, 2010 at 11:12 pm
Send a that Jesus-carpet photo to Jesusoftheweek.com!
September 23, 2010 at 10:59 am
i saw an ad in a jewish magazine that resembled goatse, have to get it and send it to you… *makes note not to forget*
September 23, 2010 at 9:28 pm
A typo would have been the living end for the felt work.
September 24, 2010 at 10:56 am
Look what happens when Time Warner cannot figure out how to connect the internet at my new house- I miss Carpet Jesus!
I am the former owner of this AMAZING carpet. When I was told I had to move, I put Jesus at the curb in front of my house because he could not make the journey to the new home. But days went by and NO ONE took him! In the end, he found a home with a delightful teenage girl who really loves him!!!!
I got him from the trash/curb in front of a daycare.