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Chock Full of Nits

The only thing more fun than a stranger’s hair in your coffee is a Band-Aid in your salad. But that doesn’t happen so much now that they use gloves at Subway.

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70 comments on Chock Full of Nits

  1. EmpressBarb
    September 9, 2010 at 4:34 pm

    One thing I look for in art is machine washability. So, no can do on this masterpiece.

    Thumb up Thumb down +105

  2. Rascalmom
    September 9, 2010 at 4:38 pm

    Waiter! There’s a fly in my soup! I’ll just have some coffee then…never mind.

    Thumb up Thumb down +29

  3. tinydancer
    September 9, 2010 at 4:39 pm

    Real artist’s hair? Is that better or worse than human hair?

    Thumb up Thumb down +66

  4. LeeLooDallas
    September 9, 2010 at 4:40 pm

    The best part of waking up is follicles in your cup!

    Thumb up Thumb down +214

  5. bumblepuppy
    September 9, 2010 at 4:42 pm

    If I wanted hair in my coffee, I’d have my cat make it.

    Wait, it’s “made by hand…with real artist’s hair”. A missing comma really changes what I think you want to say. Unless you really did make it with your hair.

    Thumb up Thumb down +82

  6. magpienight
    September 9, 2010 at 4:42 pm

    I’m sorry, I prefer fake artist’s hair on my espresso cups.

    Thumb up Thumb down +32

  7. gracie4938
    September 9, 2010 at 4:43 pm

    i just threw up in my drink, but at least the hairs on the side caught all the chunks in time.

    Thumb up Thumb down +31

  8. Djerbootyhotep
    September 9, 2010 at 4:45 pm

    I wonder if espresso gets hot enough to make the hair get that wonderful burning aroma that I know we all crave

    Thumb up Thumb down +38

  9. pplrdum
    September 9, 2010 at 4:47 pm

    everytime I go to Starbucks, I think, “this latte is missing a hairpiece…”

    Never again!

    Thumb up Thumb down +87

  10. hamoza
    September 9, 2010 at 4:47 pm

    Does it come with dandruff or do I have to provide my own? Split ends at least?

    Meret Oppenheim did this to a cup using fur, about 80 years ago.It was not meant to be a vessel for drinks either.What a yutz.

    Thumb up Thumb down +39

  11. captaincavegirl
    September 9, 2010 at 4:49 pm

    Upside – If someone glances over at the precise moment that you take a sip, they’ll think you have a DOPE mustache.

    Thumb up Thumb down +85

  12. mannequin
    September 9, 2010 at 4:50 pm

    It could be en hommage to this:
    http://www.moma.org/visit/calendar/exhibitions/960

    But its much more likely that this person has a gross hair fetish and likes the feel of having it tickle her face while drinking heated beverages.

    Thumb up Thumb down +21

    • stuffadjusther
      June 27, 2011 at 10:24 pm

      Help! how is a fur covered cup, saucer and spoon erotic? I just don’t get it…

      Thumb up Thumb down +1

  13. Rob T Firefly
    September 9, 2010 at 4:50 pm

    For those of you who can’t grow a Wilford Brimley moustache, but always wanted to know what it’s like drinking coffee with one.

    Thumb up Thumb down +45

  14. Qui
    September 9, 2010 at 4:50 pm

    How would you hand-wash it without ruining the hair?
    If you can’t machine wash it, and you can’t wash it by hand, then how can you USE it?
    and if you can’t use it, then why the HELL would you buy it??

    Thumb up Thumb down +18

  15. mannequin
    September 9, 2010 at 4:52 pm

    Sorry #10, I didn’t see your comment.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  16. tinatime
    September 9, 2010 at 4:52 pm

    After looking at all of the other mugs in this person’s collection, I must admit I’m becoming totally obsessed with them. I’m adding the dali mug to my birthday wish list asap.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  17. LeeLooDallas
    September 9, 2010 at 4:54 pm

    In coffee lingo, this one’s called “The Donald”.

    Thumb up Thumb down +44

  18. hamoza
    September 9, 2010 at 4:54 pm

    @# 15 mannequin-no apologies necessary… glad that you provided the image !

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  19. trousers rolled
    September 9, 2010 at 4:58 pm

    We can at least be thankful that the hair isn’t a little, uh… shorter and curlier.

    Always a bright side.

    Thumb up Thumb down +59

  20. hamoza
    September 9, 2010 at 5:00 pm

    Does it at least come with a guarantee against premature balding?

    Thumb up Thumb down +16

  21. booksandcleverness
    September 9, 2010 at 5:01 pm

    Reminds me of Oppenheim’s Object. Only, that was art. This is etsy.

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  22. booksandcleverness
    September 9, 2010 at 5:04 pm

    Ha, #10 and #12 got there first. Sorry for the redundancy.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  23. hamoza
    September 9, 2010 at 5:04 pm

    @LeeLoo bwahahaha….I’ll have a double combover with a triple shot , hold the caff.

    Thumb up Thumb down +19

  24. funkengruven
    September 9, 2010 at 5:04 pm

    It appears that she has one with Ear hair as well.

    http://www.etsy.com/listing/45740024/ear-expresso-coffee-cup

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  25. WhyLikeThis
    September 9, 2010 at 5:07 pm

    perfect for a fresh cup of lice coffee or a little of the ol’ hair of the dog

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

  26. cylonagent
    September 9, 2010 at 5:08 pm

    @14, lather, rinse, repeat.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  27. jesusmotherbug
    September 9, 2010 at 5:16 pm

    Little did the crew of the S.S. Tea Party realize, but they would soon meet their doom in the hot-watery depths, as the tentacles of the feared Tufty Kraken slithered their way starboard.

    Thumb up Thumb down +17

  28. Brie B.
    September 9, 2010 at 5:20 pm
  29. crazycase
    September 9, 2010 at 5:24 pm

    W… T… F…?????

    Thumb up Thumb down -1

  30. fluffynotfat
    September 9, 2010 at 5:29 pm

    the steam will only make the hair all frizzy then you’ll need gels and sprays and damnit it will be like another chick in the house

    Thumb up Thumb down +39

  31. WhyLikeThis
    September 9, 2010 at 5:32 pm

    it looks like some sort of grotesque sea creature is trying to steal your drink.

    i understand how they did it. it’s the “why” i’m struggling with

    Thumb up Thumb down +15

  32. Patty got abducted by a Steampunk Alien
    September 9, 2010 at 5:35 pm

    I knew I never should have made that comment about the Jimi Hendrix portrait having a piece of the artist in the form of his own hair.

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  33. WhyLikeThis
    September 9, 2010 at 5:43 pm

    as jesusmotherbug got there first and did the “sea creature” reference so much better than i, can we all pretend i said “spider” instead?

    i’d appreciate it

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  34. whimsicalisthenics
    September 9, 2010 at 6:09 pm

    Have some coffee. It’s so strong, it’ll put hair on your chest.

    Thumb up Thumb down +15

  35. Nightme
    September 9, 2010 at 6:20 pm

    Mmm yummy. A nice cup of joe, with a bit of Joe attached!

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

  36. Mistletoe
    September 9, 2010 at 6:34 pm

    One venti wankaccino to go.

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  37. invaderhorizongreen
    September 9, 2010 at 6:35 pm

    hey i could do this i would just stroll down to the barber shop, collect the leftovers, and glue it to a coffee cup

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  38. Mistletoe
    September 9, 2010 at 6:37 pm

    Oh sure #36, you *could* do this, but who DID first, hmm?!

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  39. AreYouGoingToEatThatPickle
    September 9, 2010 at 6:42 pm

    With exception to the holes, hair, and hardware, I kind of like these fancy-pants little cups. :)

    At first I shuddered at the ‘incorrect’ spelling of “Expresso”, then realised the seller is from Italy – they scorn cakers calling their beloved beverage by the incorrect name, so I can’t help but think that the error is intentional. :)

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  40. invaderhorizongreen
    September 9, 2010 at 6:48 pm

    #37 i would do more than just hair i would put glitter and ribbons on it

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  41. whimsicalisthenics
    September 9, 2010 at 7:00 pm

    Woman on airplane (to self): That’s odd. Jim always stops at one hairball when I make him coffee at home.

    Thumb up Thumb down +17

  42. The Blue Kraken
    September 9, 2010 at 7:26 pm

    it’s HER hair real human hair from some person i do not know attached to a vessel one is expected to drink from.. @.@! ……… this is certainly more hurl worthy than the previous post… and i think i just did a little

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  43. amazon
    September 9, 2010 at 7:35 pm

    http://www.etsy.com/listing/45739901/there-is-a-hole-in-my-coffee-cup

    “This is a one of a kind Coffee Cup with a hole in the bottom so it is useless if you want to drink out of it. Is it the concept not the coffee cup that you are buying here.

    Mostly refferred to people who are divorcing… wives take everything away from you and you are left with nothing.”

    Woah, bitter much?

    Thumb up Thumb down +17

  44. Iterpy
    September 9, 2010 at 7:38 pm

    A mug with a merkin. Delightful.

    Thumb up Thumb down +20

  45. mad2physicist
    September 9, 2010 at 7:42 pm

    ‘This REAL ARTIST’S HAIR – Don’t settle for cheap engineer’s hair again!’

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

  46. hamoza
    September 9, 2010 at 7:45 pm

    @amazon- whooooooooa is right.
    A chick wrote that? Right , cuz’ we all know how greedy women are & how easy they have it , with their 60 cents or so on the dollar in the workforce , easy childbirth issues, yadayada….

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  47. The Blue Kraken
    September 9, 2010 at 7:48 pm

    well just heard from a friend regretsy is on it’s way to becoming a medically approved appetite suppressant.

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  48. The Blue Kraken
    September 9, 2010 at 7:51 pm

    on another note .. most of her cups cant be drank from.. whats the point? why buy them, why even make them? they all look like slip cast forms that have just been modified a little (if you don’t know what slip cast is think china made from mold ceramics) this lady’s asking way too much if it’s just popped from a mold and then played with :( loose loose for original work.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  49. Metriosity
    September 9, 2010 at 8:15 pm

    Thats not whip on your coffee… Thats Herbal Essences Mousse. Your urinary tract will have volume and hold until its next wash.

    Thumb up Thumb down +15

  50. EmilyStranger
    September 9, 2010 at 8:24 pm

    I think they took the whole “flavor saver” idea a step too far.

    I want to zazzle one the says “moustache rides for free”.

    Does it come in a merkin style?

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  51. Mistletoe
    September 9, 2010 at 8:43 pm

    Genuine Artist Hair.

    I call one of those three words into question.

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

  52. knittin-kitten
    September 9, 2010 at 10:04 pm

    There are some things that should be shared. “Genuine artist hair” is definitely not one of them.

    It’s like a full-on assault of bad taste. Figuratively AND literally.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  53. dscokween
    September 9, 2010 at 10:06 pm

    When I was a student I worked at Starbucks where we had a nickname for everyone – tall-tea-lady, tall-coffee-double-cup-no-lid-guy, or one particularly interesting venti mocha guy. This cup sort of reminds me of venti mocha guy, who sported a handlebar moustache.

    After one particularly caffeinated morning, his nickname morphed into “The Thigh Tickler.” Somehow, I don’t think this cup would ever be quite as exciting for many reasons.

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  54. fetaby
    September 9, 2010 at 11:25 pm

    @28

    Thank you!

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  55. eleganceisrefusal
    September 10, 2010 at 1:55 am

    I totally remember seeing this and thought about sending it in, not sure why I didn’t but I’m glad someone else found it. Definitely makes me wanna hurl -_-

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  56. rubypony
    September 10, 2010 at 2:27 am

    That’s cool and all, but I was really looking for a pubic beard cup. Oh, you’re out of that one? Give me the cup that is glazed with your sweat after working in the summer sun for hours. Oh, you’re out that one, I’ll take the cup that has a pooling of your blood crusted on the bottom. Don’t have that one either? I guess I’ll just settle and take the one with the artists nuts hanging over the rim. Oh they’ll be bobbing up and down like a pair venous, sweaty buoys as I sip my tea?…

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  57. magic knickers
    September 10, 2010 at 5:44 am

    Wow don’t you just love taking a sip of coffee and having some gross “artists” greasy mop tickling your nose >:|

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  58. angrygn0me
    September 10, 2010 at 6:15 am

    Why the hell do all these crafters think we want shit made out of their hair, fingernails, teeth, etc? We’re not your mom, we don’t keep your baby teeth in a box to treasure forever, we sure as shit don’t want your adult castoffs.

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  59. TooManyCookbooks
    September 10, 2010 at 7:09 am

    It gives you that windowless-van-owning perv ‘stache look, for when you just want to be left alone whenever you’re in public.

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  60. Listyfox
    September 10, 2010 at 7:49 am

    EWWWWWW!!!

    Sorry I can’t find anything more witty to say but I just can’t snark and puke at the same time.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  61. and Stretch65 as “The Count”
    September 10, 2010 at 8:32 am

    “I’m so wild about Hairy”
    Don’t stop the fun with just the artists hairy mug
    Pay the extra $10 and the artist will include his own personal cream Coffee Mate it aint

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  62. Skullymart
    September 10, 2010 at 8:33 am

    Gee, your cup smells terrific!

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  63. Maman Brigitte
    September 10, 2010 at 8:43 am

    Yuck! It looks like the official Something About Mary mug, complete with Ben Stiller’s “hair gel.”

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  64. BillsBayou
    September 10, 2010 at 9:11 am

    I think the seller really wigged out on this one!

    because, you know, it’s a wig…

    … a wig?

    *crickets*

    Nevermind.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  65. Buzzkill Steampink Noir
    September 10, 2010 at 9:53 am

    wow, I’m going to glue random useless crap together and call it “art”, too. I’ve got an oversupply of hot beverage containers that I’d have to sell for 50 cents at a garage sale. Who knew that I could grab hair clippings from the salon down the street and make 100 times that!

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  66. deenadj
    September 10, 2010 at 10:20 am

    I don’t think I own ANY dishes that are “machine washable.” Surely she means “not dishwasher safe” – please? Guys? Help? Please?
    Idea – one of use needs to become a “stylist” for these mugs. If somebody would pay $50 for the mug, they’d expect to pay to keep it looking good, right?

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  67. HelenaHandbasket
    September 10, 2010 at 11:08 am

    Least sexy rimjob ever.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  68. greenfuzz
    September 10, 2010 at 12:31 pm
  69. saphyress
    September 11, 2010 at 3:56 pm

    Did she sit around drinking her morning coffee, thinking You know what would make this even better? Feeling like a spider is crawling up my nose! I can’t be the only one that feels this way!

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

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