Now I know where to come for all my dinosaur & knitted dick needs.Maybe the brown model is a dino-dick.
The dude can actually knit well…too bad I can smell that couch in Kansas all the way to California.
the pix on her site tell the penis story of “lord of the flies”
1st pic: all orderly, single file
2nd pic: the penises start to group off. some gravitate to the brown one, some stand alone, confused.
3rd pic: well, that’s just a cluster fuck.
last pic: the brown one emerges as the dominant penis and rules the couch for ever more.
it’s a penis allegory ya’ll.
or i’ve just got an overactive penis imagination….
It’s going to take more than corner tassels to ‘class it up’.
Friend walks into the room “oh look…you have a penis pillow. With tassels. That’s classy.”
What is the proper etiquette when confronted with a penis pillow? Do you talk about it? What exactly do you talk about? size? color? Do you stare at it? Do you try to avoid looking at it? Do you touch it? sit on it? lay your head on it? Do you drag it by a tassel out of your way so you can sit on the furniture?
Vile & Evil Debbie Downer
September 3, 2010 at 10:14 am
I know EXACTLY how that couch smells.
It’s sayin’ something that the first thing I thought when the listing came up was, “My god that’s a hideous couch.” And then I noticed the relatively subtle dick pillows.
This seller is my kind of regretsy person, classy tassles and all.
Thanks, #22, now I feel compelled to search Etsy for a penis-menorah for a friend’s upcoming birthday. Maybe one that during the day could double as a tranquil fountain?
No doubt I’ll find it. Or get it made for a $10 Alchemy request.
This is yet another one of those things that my Grammy would probably love at the Home. She takes great delight in getting the young ladies on staff to blush, and embarrassing her roommate. Wonder if you can get a pattern…
I used to think the extinction of dinosaurs was a result of asteroids, volcanic activity or climate change. Now I’m pretty sure it was a result of them acting like a bunch of dicks.
This is a homeschooling first for us: While discussing what science unit to study first this year, Anatomy was chosen. The reason why? Mama left the screen on Regretsy when she got up to check the washer…
I’d like to buy one of these….and see my neighbors faces when they walked by and saw what the dog was trying to bury in the front yard….it would make my whole day!
16 out of his 27 sales have been these cushions.
sign of the apocalypse?
as of right now 13397 views..I salute the fact that no one got SUCKered in to getting one.
Ladies and assholes, I appreciate the glorious attention this art school joke has been given. I started making these in 2006 and have been selling them on Etsy for nearly as long. A few facts: I’m a guy, I’m “classy” with tassels, these penis cushions were featured in Playgirl magazine two years ago, and I have always dreamed of being featured on Regretsy. Eat your heart out Aunt June! You may be front page material on Etsy, but you’re nobody here.
I second that knittingkneedle! Good show! You’re welcome to come up here to the NW and knit anytime. Just remember to bring some tassels. We need a bit of classing up here.
I actually own one of these (pink with tassels). My ex bought it for me for Christmas one year. It’s amazing, and the first thing that people comment on when they see my apartment. The one I have was a replacement because the first one got lost in the mail or something. I had always hoped the other one would eventually arrive so I could have a dick on each end of the couch.
September 3, 2010 at 9:33 am
I’ve seen this trick. There are six frat guys hiding in that couch. Fool me once…
September 3, 2010 at 9:34 am
Sweet tinkerbelle jesus, that couch! It’s like 70s porn rendered in fabric.
September 3, 2010 at 9:41 am
I wonder if putting tassels on my penis would “class up” my street flashing.
September 3, 2010 at 9:42 am
Now I know where to come for all my dinosaur & knitted dick needs.Maybe the brown model is a dino-dick.
The dude can actually knit well…too bad I can smell that couch in Kansas all the way to California.
September 3, 2010 at 9:44 am
Fuck acrylic, I prefer my knit cocks pure new wool.
September 3, 2010 at 9:46 am
Perfect for the Saturday night book club meeting where they reveiw “Regretsy. Where DIY meets WTF” by April Winchell.
September 3, 2010 at 9:48 am
Perfect for any loveseat.
September 3, 2010 at 9:48 am
Because nothing classes up your living room like a 12×12 penis pillow.
September 3, 2010 at 9:50 am
Turn your deck chairs into dick chairs!
September 3, 2010 at 9:52 am
No knittin-kitten, nothing classes up your living room like a 12×12 penis pillow WITH tassels…
September 3, 2010 at 9:54 am
Sure don’t make whoopie cushions like they used to….
September 3, 2010 at 9:57 am
the pix on her site tell the penis story of “lord of the flies”
1st pic: all orderly, single file
2nd pic: the penises start to group off. some gravitate to the brown one, some stand alone, confused.
3rd pic: well, that’s just a cluster fuck.
last pic: the brown one emerges as the dominant penis and rules the couch for ever more.
it’s a penis allegory ya’ll.
or i’ve just got an overactive penis imagination….
September 3, 2010 at 9:57 am
Oh yeah, what’s separating these pillows from class are TASSELS. Yes, that’ll fix it…
September 3, 2010 at 9:58 am
Well, that’s it. My christmas shopping is done.
September 3, 2010 at 9:59 am
So is it a pillow fight or a game of swords?
September 3, 2010 at 10:00 am
Don’t have a pillow fight with these. You’ll poke your eye out.
September 3, 2010 at 10:00 am
Leeloo your first comment keeled me. One year my mother in law gave us all Massage pillows for the back for christmas..I broke mine sitting on it.
September 3, 2010 at 10:03 am
Ha Flaming!
September 3, 2010 at 10:04 am
That’s the same person who made the crocheted dinosaur skeleton. http://www.etsy.com/listing/18849996/custom-crocheted-raptor-skeleton. Goes from dinos to dicks.
September 3, 2010 at 10:05 am
can I get one uncircumsized?
Yes, but you’ll have to pay for the extra yarn. – HK
September 3, 2010 at 10:06 am
Yes, there is nothing more mature than a couch full of dongs.
September 3, 2010 at 10:07 am
One more on the right and you’d have the finest non-flaming menorah that fabric crafts can make.
September 3, 2010 at 10:08 am
It’s going to take more than corner tassels to ‘class it up’.
Friend walks into the room “oh look…you have a penis pillow. With tassels. That’s classy.”
What is the proper etiquette when confronted with a penis pillow? Do you talk about it? What exactly do you talk about? size? color? Do you stare at it? Do you try to avoid looking at it? Do you touch it? sit on it? lay your head on it? Do you drag it by a tassel out of your way so you can sit on the furniture?
September 3, 2010 at 10:08 am
@#18-Flaming, bahahaha-your comment keeled ME.
September 3, 2010 at 10:10 am
@#22 Fizziks-y’all are slaying me today….Hanukkah will never be the same.
September 3, 2010 at 10:11 am
I think I’d like a glow-in-the dark knitted condom for mine, thank you.
I also see knitted-penis-in-eye issues when laying on the couch to watch TV.
September 3, 2010 at 10:14 am
I know EXACTLY how that couch smells.
It’s sayin’ something that the first thing I thought when the listing came up was, “My god that’s a hideous couch.” And then I noticed the relatively subtle dick pillows.
This seller is my kind of regretsy person, classy tassles and all.
September 3, 2010 at 10:16 am
Oh Helen, I thought the exact same thing!
What’s more, while distracted by that thought, I misread the description: “…so if you’d like a particular cock, I’ll do my best to make it for you.”
September 3, 2010 at 10:17 am
This looks like the casting for a gay Brady Bunch special.
September 3, 2010 at 10:22 am
I wonder if there’s a mini version that I can stick in my popcorn bucket…?
September 3, 2010 at 10:22 am
Thanks, #22, now I feel compelled to search Etsy for a penis-menorah for a friend’s upcoming birthday. Maybe one that during the day could double as a tranquil fountain?
No doubt I’ll find it. Or get it made for a $10 Alchemy request.
September 3, 2010 at 10:23 am
hey, Grandma re-decorated!
September 3, 2010 at 10:24 am
P.S. I don’t need one of these because my dad crocheted me a sybian last year.
September 3, 2010 at 10:25 am
I would cringe whenever one of my cats sharpened its claws on it.
September 3, 2010 at 10:26 am
I’m gonna order one made out of a sham wow.
September 3, 2010 at 10:27 am
Can I get these in a flaccid state? Resting my head on an erect schlong is a little disturbing.
September 3, 2010 at 10:28 am
Look at the state of the cushions on the couch. It’s definitely been overstuffed.
September 3, 2010 at 10:30 am
i have to say, the rest of the shop is sorta awesome. the seller just took an interest in a different kind of *ahem* bones.
September 3, 2010 at 10:32 am
Do you think he’s on Ravelry? (Just a little knitting in-joke)
September 3, 2010 at 10:41 am
Does she have real man musk spray to give it a nice, realistic scent?
September 3, 2010 at 10:45 am
Illustrated: The age old design quandry- How many pillows with dicks on is TOO many pillows with dicks on?
September 3, 2010 at 10:45 am
It’s twoo! It’s TWOO!
September 3, 2010 at 10:50 am
This couch could make for a hell of a fun game of musical chairs.
September 3, 2010 at 10:50 am
This is yet another one of those things that my Grammy would probably love at the Home. She takes great delight in getting the young ladies on staff to blush, and embarrassing her roommate. Wonder if you can get a pattern…
September 3, 2010 at 10:52 am
You could sleep on one if you wanna prick up your ears.
September 3, 2010 at 10:53 am
I used to think the extinction of dinosaurs was a result of asteroids, volcanic activity or climate change. Now I’m pretty sure it was a result of them acting like a bunch of dicks.
September 3, 2010 at 10:54 am
It’s erotigurumi!
September 3, 2010 at 10:55 am
@Mistletoe-maybe he’ll sell you the pattern? And your Grammy sounds great!
September 3, 2010 at 10:58 am
#22 Fizziks : One more on the right and you’d have the finest non-flaming menorah that fabric crafts can make.
-I think that would be the MOST flaming menorah…
September 3, 2010 at 11:01 am
So if you overuse these things does your color scheme have to change to blue ?
September 3, 2010 at 11:02 am
Toss in some vagina pillows and you’ve got a fun-filled night of sex ed for the entire family!
September 3, 2010 at 11:03 am
I wonder why I’m craving a hot dog right now?
September 3, 2010 at 11:03 am
My birthday is a-comin’ and I know what I’m askin’ for!
September 3, 2010 at 11:04 am
great, now I have to cut flies in all my pillow cases.
September 3, 2010 at 11:06 am
This will be a perfect complement to the asshole pillow.
September 3, 2010 at 11:08 am
This is a homeschooling first for us: While discussing what science unit to study first this year, Anatomy was chosen. The reason why? Mama left the screen on Regretsy when she got up to check the washer…
September 3, 2010 at 11:16 am
As Spinal Tap sang: The bigger the cushion, the sweeter the pushin’…
September 3, 2010 at 11:16 am
$10 for shipping? Seriously?
@ #40 KittyPrawn: You mean, like Old Spice? Makes a man smell like a man, and all that…
September 3, 2010 at 11:27 am
Im getting my Granny some of these
In low in the dark wool….. WITH TASSELS… y’know, to keep it classy 
September 3, 2010 at 11:29 am
glow^ not low…. dang keyboards arent what they used to be… mumble mumble mumble…. hey I wonder could she knit me a new one?
September 3, 2010 at 11:31 am
One brown dick to rule them all.
September 3, 2010 at 11:32 am
I’d like to buy one of these….and see my neighbors faces when they walked by and saw what the dog was trying to bury in the front yard….it would make my whole day!
September 3, 2010 at 11:44 am
I predict the brown one will sell out!
September 3, 2010 at 11:45 am
Can she knit those in silicone yarn?
September 3, 2010 at 11:48 am
Papas got a brand new bag…of yarn…
September 3, 2010 at 11:51 am
‘Are you happy to see me or were you planning to redecorate all along?…
September 3, 2010 at 12:25 pm
Finally something to keep those chair kicking tweens from sitting behind me in the movies.
Or I could be inviting something much worse than chair kicking asshole tweens to sit behind me.
Canceling that purchase NOW!
September 3, 2010 at 12:28 pm
#36 gator726 – You’d rather rest your head on a flaccid one?
September 3, 2010 at 12:38 pm
She has some strange and wonderful things in her shop. LOVE the pterodactyl skeleton!
September 3, 2010 at 12:42 pm
My 7 year old son just walked up and said, “What are those things? Pig legs?”
“Yes, son. Yes they are.”
September 3, 2010 at 12:47 pm
Gives you an idea of what Snow White must have experienced
September 3, 2010 at 1:06 pm
I wonder if you could get one with its own knitted codpiece.
September 3, 2010 at 1:09 pm
If he’d knit a pillow in black mohair, it would make the perfect place for the brass snail.
*please, please make this happen someone with photo shop skills
September 3, 2010 at 1:18 pm
Well, as long as I can get it with the tassles, looks like Ima getting a new couch!
-_-
September 3, 2010 at 1:27 pm
Hey look! They’re doing the wave:
http://i985.photobucket.com/albums/ae338/grinreaper1965/doingthewave.gif
September 3, 2010 at 1:39 pm
SKULLY!!!!!!!!!!!!! Fan-frakking-tastic as usual!
September 3, 2010 at 1:50 pm
If these shrink in the wash, I’ll be so pissed.
September 3, 2010 at 2:19 pm
Skully, amazing. Just amazing.
September 3, 2010 at 2:21 pm
@ Social Outcast: Sure. In fact, I’d like one on each side. That way, there would always be one on the cool side of the pillow.
September 3, 2010 at 2:30 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
September 3, 2010 at 2:52 pm
looks like they were trying to make a home movie called king of the dicks
September 3, 2010 at 3:16 pm
*Applauds Skully’s skills* I could watch that all night
September 3, 2010 at 3:19 pm
Well, two heads are better than one …
September 3, 2010 at 3:35 pm
You could also use them to hold your bagels while watching TV!
September 3, 2010 at 3:41 pm
And how adorable when my dog drags it around during the holidays…
September 3, 2010 at 4:18 pm
Skully, I would like to have your baby. Please.
September 3, 2010 at 4:40 pm
@#86 ‘Skully, I would like to have your baby’.
Get in line hon….
September 3, 2010 at 4:53 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
September 3, 2010 at 7:54 pm
Well this is disappointing..I only have bits of food hiding in my couch.
September 3, 2010 at 8:17 pm
Ladies and assholes, I appreciate the glorious attention this art school joke has been given. I started making these in 2006 and have been selling them on Etsy for nearly as long. A few facts: I’m a guy, I’m “classy” with tassels, these penis cushions were featured in Playgirl magazine two years ago, and I have always dreamed of being featured on Regretsy. Eat your heart out Aunt June! You may be front page material on Etsy, but you’re nobody here.
September 3, 2010 at 11:32 pm
I think this would be a funny bachelorette gift. More ‘original’ than just a straight dong.
September 4, 2010 at 10:30 am
@ knitting needle~ you are indeed a class act, tassles or no tassles.
September 4, 2010 at 11:04 am
I second that knittingkneedle! Good show! You’re welcome to come up here to the NW and knit anytime. Just remember to bring some tassels. We need a bit of classing up here.
September 4, 2010 at 4:45 pm
Gotta class up my penis cushion with nipple tassles.
September 4, 2010 at 5:45 pm
@#91chiiro- ‘I think this would be funny as a bachelorette gift. More ‘original’ than just a straight dong.’
When you say straight dong , do you mean:
a)a heterosexual dong
b)a dong that is straight like a ruler
c)just a mere plain ole dong
?
September 5, 2010 at 9:29 pm
Because penis cushions are CLASSY this fall.
September 5, 2010 at 10:05 pm
#90 knittingkneedle :
Sorry about the gender confusion. I still LOVE the dinosaur skeletons!
September 6, 2010 at 11:43 am
#90 knittingkneedle:
Good to meetcha! If I had any amount of fun-money to spend, I would totally get one of these. It’s way better priced than that god damn vagina bowl…
March 22, 2012 at 11:07 pm
I actually own one of these (pink with tassels). My ex bought it for me for Christmas one year. It’s amazing, and the first thing that people comment on when they see my apartment. The one I have was a replacement because the first one got lost in the mail or something. I had always hoped the other one would eventually arrive so I could have a dick on each end of the couch.