91

My Lips Are Sealed

JESUS CHRIST I HATE PEOPLE

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

91 comments on My Lips Are Sealed

  1. Whimsicko
    September 1, 2010 at 1:33 pm

    Here’s hoping her vagina is sealed too!

    Thumb up Thumb down +93

  2. LauraTheRed
    September 1, 2010 at 1:35 pm

    So nature is a prude, glowing wooden hooha. Got it.

    Thumb up Thumb down +176

  3. barefootandpreggers
    September 1, 2010 at 1:35 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -223

  4. invaderhorizongreen
    September 1, 2010 at 1:36 pm

    really then you better not help any animal etc… because you will be interfering with natures way. sorry but nature is not nice

    Thumb up Thumb down +36

  5. smurfy12b
    September 1, 2010 at 1:39 pm

    “Don’t touch me”? No problem.

    Thumb up Thumb down +86

  6. LauraTheRed
    September 1, 2010 at 1:40 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -36

  7. genghiskaty
    September 1, 2010 at 1:41 pm

    Because whenever I’ve wanted man not to touch me, I make my nether regions light up in the dark. Nature’s not so different.

    Thumb up Thumb down +169

  8. invaderhorizongreen
    September 1, 2010 at 1:41 pm

    wait this is scrap wood! you’re not letting it decay oops already interfered

    Thumb up Thumb down +100

  9. eldatari
    September 1, 2010 at 1:42 pm

    I would really love to see what it looks like glowing in the dark.

    Thumb up Thumb down +23

  10. lisa_n
    September 1, 2010 at 1:42 pm

    Listen, I knew nature *before* she was a virgin if you know what I mean. (cough) big ol’ whore (cough)

    Thumb up Thumb down +159

  11. HelenaHandbasket
    September 1, 2010 at 1:42 pm

    No worries there, she’s got those pew-stinky marks wafting up from it.

    Thumb up Thumb down +60

  12. magpienight
    September 1, 2010 at 1:42 pm

    That is a disturbingly large looking vagina.

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

  13. butterwort
    September 1, 2010 at 1:42 pm

    Looks like Nature’s got a case of the herp.

    Thumb up Thumb down +86

  14. IndyJules
    September 1, 2010 at 1:43 pm

    Should we mention how long that paint is going to be around “polluting?” Or, should we recognize a lost cause and move on to snarkier pastures?

    Thumb up Thumb down +68

  15. Doe
    September 1, 2010 at 1:43 pm

    What it really needs is some macaroni art.

    Thumb up Thumb down +120

  16. smurfy12b
    September 1, 2010 at 1:45 pm

    @ #15 – AND sparkles!

    Thumb up Thumb down +37

  17. craftEbitch
    September 1, 2010 at 1:46 pm

    Is that glitter paint I spy? Really? They still make that shit? Someone still buys that shit? Someone buys that shit and then tries to make an environmental statement with it? I don’t fucking believe it.

    Next thing, you’ll be telling me it glows in the dark.

    Thumb up Thumb down +200

  18. DamnitsGlam
    September 1, 2010 at 1:47 pm

    Tags: ladybug love

    What the hell?

    Thumb up Thumb down +44

  19. jesusmotherbug
    September 1, 2010 at 1:48 pm

    Five things I did not know until I saw this photograph:

    1. Nature has a vagina.

    2. Nature’s vagina looks like a spotted amoeba with B.O.

    3. You can seal a vagina with puffy paint.

    4. People still use puffy paint.

    Thank you, Etsy, for consistently giving heat to my “Hippies Are a Social Disease” campaign.

    Thumb up Thumb down +154

  20. jesusmotherbug
    September 1, 2010 at 1:48 pm

    Four things, I should say. I was blinded by a dark film of hate.

    Thumb up Thumb down +31

  21. Mistletoe
    September 1, 2010 at 1:51 pm

    OK here’s one possible way to respect nature’s diving processes: PUT AWAY THE FUCKING PUFF PAINT.

    Thumb up Thumb down +50

  22. Mistletoe
    September 1, 2010 at 1:52 pm

    Divine*. Ack. Too much puff paint fumes.

    Thumb up Thumb down +23

  23. serellie
    September 1, 2010 at 1:53 pm

    If you must remove your pubic hair, this is why you wax, people. Look at that stubble.

    Thumb up Thumb down +23

  24. Mistletoe
    September 1, 2010 at 1:53 pm

    Also: twenty-five fucking dollars for that?! Methinks there’s more than one rape being committed here.

    Thumb up Thumb down +22

  25. Mrs. S.
    September 1, 2010 at 1:56 pm

    What a coincidence! My vagina glows in the dark, too!

    Thumb up Thumb down +59

  26. Cheal
    September 1, 2010 at 1:57 pm

    Glow in the dark. Symptom of nuclear fallout? Poor ruined Earth Vagina. ;_;

    XD

    Thumb up Thumb down +21

  27. pavlovsdaughter
    September 1, 2010 at 2:00 pm

    I thought it was ok as long as you bought Nature dinner first.

    Thumb up Thumb down +94

  28. heidrun
    September 1, 2010 at 2:01 pm

    oh! nature is vajazzled!
    but she can’t reproduce. didn’t know that. so educational here.

    Thumb up Thumb down +31

  29. methuselah
    September 1, 2010 at 2:01 pm

    People are part of nature.

    Nature does shit to people all the time.

    If you ask me, NATURE HAD IT COMING.

    Let the thumbing down commence!

    Thumb up Thumb down +72

  30. Fartinamitten
    September 1, 2010 at 2:11 pm

    I’m buying this sign to hang around my neck so I don’t have to verbally tell my husband that I am not in the mood.

    Thumb up Thumb down +78

  31. barefootandpreggers
    September 1, 2010 at 2:11 pm

    I do my utmost to tread lightly and leave a small footprint. For the most part I’m a gentle soul.

    On the other hand , I’d like to strangle this woo woo wackado.

    Thumb up Thumb down +32

  32. WhyLikeThis
    September 1, 2010 at 2:12 pm

    well look at that! a board from their own personal soap box.

    all serious manifestos glow in the dark and look like they came off a high school girl’s binder

    grrrf just looking at it makes me want to eat an endangered species

    Thumb up Thumb down +51

  33. knittin-kitten
    September 1, 2010 at 2:13 pm

    Nature’s upset with us? Funny I pictured Her going on a Beatrice Kiddo type rampage rather than sealing herself up.

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  34. Dix
    September 1, 2010 at 2:14 pm

    Just wondering: How do you get scrap wood in the first place, without interfering with nature?

    Thumb up Thumb down +17

  35. Junkyardglitter
    September 1, 2010 at 2:16 pm

    Does Nature in fact have a vagina? Also was glow in the dark puffy paint really the sure way to represent Natures vagina?

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  36. invaderhorizongreen
    September 1, 2010 at 2:19 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -4

  37. moi
    September 1, 2010 at 2:21 pm

    Entirely leaving out the fact that it is painted on a piece of wood from a tree that is now undoubtedly dead,

    Do they think that glow in the dark puffy paint magically, joyfully comes out of a fairy’s butt?!

    Thumb up Thumb down +38

  38. barefootandpreggers
    September 1, 2010 at 2:21 pm

    Just one word lady-are you listening?
    PLASTICS

    Thumb up Thumb down +18

  39. knittin-kitten
    September 1, 2010 at 2:24 pm

    Oh my stars and garters, her profile is written in the third person. The poor people who live next door to her.

    Thumb up Thumb down +41

  40. denisewalks
    September 1, 2010 at 2:24 pm

    Is it just me or did the first part of the description sound like open mic night at the coffee house and then BAM! switch right into happy 1st grader bring home their project?

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  41. GoreKitten
    September 1, 2010 at 2:28 pm

    Ladybug Love??

    Wtf?

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  42. knittin-kitten
    September 1, 2010 at 2:28 pm

    Aren’t puff paints made out of some plastic type material? Isn’t plastic the antithesis of natural?

    Thumb up Thumb down +15

  43. Skullymart
    September 1, 2010 at 2:31 pm

    I bet this is painted on cherrywood.

    Thumb up Thumb down +29

  44. Wren
    September 1, 2010 at 2:33 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -21

  45. raven
    September 1, 2010 at 2:33 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -24

  46. greengeekgirl
    September 1, 2010 at 2:39 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -25

  47. robinfalcon
    September 1, 2010 at 2:44 pm

    Nature loves sex… haven’t you seen Animal Planet?

    Thumb up Thumb down +41

  48. jessguthrie
    September 1, 2010 at 2:47 pm

    nothing says “back to nature” like plastic glitter paint. Jeebus.

    Thumb up Thumb down +18

  49. Woody
    September 1, 2010 at 3:03 pm

    But IT GLOWS IN THE DARK! and it seemingly was made by lady bugs in an act of love, which I thought only produced little lady bugs, or softball teams

    Thumb up Thumb down +21

  50. Snargasm
    September 1, 2010 at 3:09 pm

    But what if nature wants to get it on?

    Since the seller’s doing the whole symbolism thing here, may I say I find it symbolically disturbing that she portrays nature as a woman who:

    - Doesn’t enjoy sex,
    - Possibly thanks to the genital mutilation the seller saw fit to inflict,
    - Should remain chaste like a good little Nature, and
    - Must be left forever virgin and shunned after her rape.

    Thumb up Thumb down +69

  51. leftfoot
    September 1, 2010 at 3:12 pm

    Someone should tell the seller that glow in the dark paint is toxic.. or maybe she’s a capitalist in hippie’s clothing and doesn’t give a shit.

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  52. Patty got abducted by a Steampunk Alien
    September 1, 2010 at 3:17 pm

    Sometimes, scrap would should stay scrapped.

    This is one of those times.

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  53. DIYfailure
    September 1, 2010 at 3:23 pm

    Nature: Please don’t touch me.
    Me: Why?
    Nature: Because my vejay sealed shut, the bumps I have look like the chicken pox and I am glowing in the dark.
    Me: Thanks for the heads up, Nature. I was just going to hug you but I don’t think it’s a good idea-just in case it’s contageous.
    Nature: I feel like shit.
    Me: Nature, you’ve been through worse. Don’t forget how shitty you felt during Katrina, the earthquakes, and plagues.
    Nature: True, but I think it feels worse to be…

    Thumb up Thumb down +23

  54. DIYfailure
    September 1, 2010 at 3:25 pm

    end to #53 above:

    Regretsied!

    Thumb up Thumb down +16

  55. razberries
    September 1, 2010 at 3:28 pm

    this gal is a big BUGGED out…

    “Jade*a*Bug Productions was founded by Ladybug Love in 2008. Ladybug is a true to form artist who has dabbled in a little of art since she could talk. Her mother, (Jolyne Anne) also an artist, started her out early with the art lessons; teaching perspective and proportions along with shading and texturing techniques. As an adolescent, Jessica (child Ladybug)…”

    enough! you are NOT a fucking ladybug.

    Thumb up Thumb down +32

  56. razberries
    September 1, 2010 at 3:28 pm

    *big* = bit ;-)

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  57. mad2physicist
    September 1, 2010 at 3:45 pm

    I’m a hardcore environmentalist but I am quite sure nature’s a whore.

    Thumb up Thumb down +17

  58. mad2physicist
    September 1, 2010 at 3:47 pm

    Also if we’ve already interfered how can we leave her virgin now? You can’t un-deflower!

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

  59. Skullymart
    September 1, 2010 at 3:50 pm
  60. Vile & Evil Debbie Downer
    September 1, 2010 at 3:54 pm

    Ah, how I missed the rabid thumbs-downers.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  61. Nightme
    September 1, 2010 at 3:56 pm

    Do you hear her people?! You must chose to leave Nature virgin!

    Nature, it’s okay. I’m going to tell you a phrase that will help. Whenever someone tries to touch you, just use your rape whistle and then yell “BAD TOUCH!”

    Sorted.

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  62. Vile & Evil Debbie Downer
    September 1, 2010 at 3:56 pm

    Skully, you RULE! “Don’t make her angry. You wouldn’t like her when she’s angry… and besides that, she glues her cooter shut with glow-in-the-dark glitter paint.”

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

  63. ScrapMetal
    September 1, 2010 at 4:07 pm

    Umm, let’s see…. vajazzling a piece of scrap wood with petroleum based paint products is probably not in Mother Nature’s best interest.

    Thumb up Thumb down +16

  64. Stretch65
    September 1, 2010 at 4:14 pm

    I’d be wary seller The Environment may not take kindly to you painting hokey statements on the wood it creates. Remember the scene in “The Happening” with Mark Walberg.

    Question:
    Does it make a difference if a vagina is sealed with a kiss?!

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  65. MyEyesMyEyes
    September 1, 2010 at 4:30 pm

    And where exactly did her piece of wood come from?

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  66. Buzzkill Steampink Noir
    September 1, 2010 at 4:40 pm

    Mother Nature is the sluttiest slut, ever! There are THREE BILLION bacteria living in your personal digestive tract! How’s that for fecund? (and that’s just your gut – think about all the “breeding” going on everywhere on this planet) the Earth is just one big honking orgy! Get over it.

    Thumb up Thumb down +33

  67. gator726
    September 1, 2010 at 4:40 pm

    I’d hate to see what she would’ve come up with if Nature was a man!

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

  68. Menopausalmaniac
    September 1, 2010 at 5:14 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -6

  69. Doe
    September 1, 2010 at 5:44 pm

    @#67 – It would be OK if Nature was a man. Males can whore all they want.

    Thumb up Thumb down +18

  70. Mrs.Vagoo
    September 1, 2010 at 6:14 pm

    Ladybugs do not have babies. They lay eggs. They do not lactate. Learn your nature.

    Thumb up Thumb down +23

  71. wtf indeed
    September 1, 2010 at 6:38 pm

    Since it looks nothing like a vagina/nature/rape scene, whoever buys this is going to have to explain it to everyone who stands there looking at it like “huh?”

    “Oh that? I got it on Etsy…it represents the violation of Nature’s vagina…wait! Where are you going?”

    Thumb up Thumb down +27

  72. Victoria Regina
    September 1, 2010 at 6:50 pm

    I read it as “Please don’t touch me. Ow”

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  73. Clare
    September 1, 2010 at 8:05 pm

    Whe your vagina glows in the dark you don’t have to ask people not to touch it, that happens naturally. Such is the wonder of nature.

    Thumb up Thumb down +23

  74. xspeddler
    September 2, 2010 at 6:42 am

    I was rolling my eyes through the whole convoluted description, but “Glows in the dark!” made me laugh. “Blah-blah-doom-destruction. Blah-blah-inhumanity-death. GLOWS IN THE DARK!” (Might be *the* perfect plaque for the former site of a nuclear facility.)

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

  75. MarliO
    September 2, 2010 at 7:08 am

    From the seller’s profile:
    “…she lives it more often than she sits and ponders to create it.”

    Well, CLEARLY.

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

  76. whimsicalisthenics
    September 2, 2010 at 7:12 am

    I think this would make a great cover for that new Toni Morrison/Rachel Carson book that’s coming out: Silent Beloved Spring.

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  77. MarliO
    September 2, 2010 at 7:52 am

    Trying again as my inaugural comment (whee!) has disappeared.

    From the seller’s profile: “Ladybug…lives it more often than she sits and ponders to create it.”

    Well, CLEARLY.

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  78. MarliO
    September 2, 2010 at 7:53 am

    Aw, crum, there it is. Please forgive the newbie.

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  79. ArtsyFartsy
    September 2, 2010 at 9:34 am

    ok..um….so much is wrong with this thing it’s hard to decide where to begin.
    How about the greek dots on the lips but long and curlies on the hood? Who is Mother Nature shaving her sealed cooch for?

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  80. ArtsyFartsy
    September 2, 2010 at 9:35 am

    * green dots. damn.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  81. PussDaddy
    September 2, 2010 at 11:09 am

    Just wait till you see what happens to Father Time. 0_0

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

  82. Spooky
    September 2, 2010 at 2:20 pm

    Ugh. I completely agree with #50 Snargasm.
    I’m disturbed by the idea that not being a virgin is a bad thing. I’m disturbed that Nature is punished for being raped. I’m disturbed in general that a depiction of genital mutilation is supposed to do anyone any good.

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  83. cattiekit
    September 2, 2010 at 3:15 pm

    Call me crazy, but don’t you think that being without ONE SALE in over ONE YEAR should point out something to this wack-a-doo?

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  84. Cosmic Yuk
    September 2, 2010 at 7:31 pm

    Ok….a couple of things. Nature’s vagina seems to have an std, it’s oozing green pus.

    Had I not read the title, I would have guessed I wasn’t supposed to touch a slug. No problem…

    oozy cooters and slugs are both icky!!!!!!!!

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  85. LeftoverBeefcake
    September 2, 2010 at 8:11 pm

    Ironically, this chunk of wood was cut from a fence surrounding a toxic waste dump…

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  86. Gosh
    September 3, 2010 at 11:59 am

    Ohhhhhh my vag-jay-jay is supposed to be painted with glow in the dark, sparkly puff paints and glued shut…. just like nature…. why thanks for all my future failed dates!

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  87. suzyactiondoll
    September 3, 2010 at 6:28 pm

    thoughts:
    1. nature needs “The Art of Pubic Hair” DVD
    2. Ladybug needs to understand that metaphors are not to be taken literally.
    …I’ve never raped a tree. Not that I remember. I mean there were some bad nights on the beach, but I don’t think that peeing in the ocean = nature rape.

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  88. b rubble
    November 4, 2010 at 1:32 am

    If you don’t use it, it’ll heal.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  89. Iwillnotbuycrap
    December 24, 2010 at 6:17 am

    so….nature vajazzles and glows in the dark so it’s easily diplayed, but her vagina is sealed. Doesn’t that make nature a cocktease?

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  90. awkwardpanda
    April 22, 2011 at 9:50 pm

    BUT IT GLOWS IN THE DARK!

    Nothing says ‘Love nature’ more than painting chopped-down wood with a potentially toxic material!

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  91. Stephanie A
    August 4, 2011 at 10:41 am

    I too have a greater hate for people. OH….and when I think eco-friendly….I think Glow In The Dark….because THOSE ARE SAFE CHEMICALS. Twat

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

Leave a Reply