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Things That Are Not Steampunk #15

61 comments on Things That Are Not Steampunk #15

  1. LeeLooDallas
    August 24, 2010 at 9:34 am

    And on the 8th day he builteth a boiler.

    Thumb up Thumb down +114

  2. BillsBayou
    August 24, 2010 at 9:35 am

    So every day at noon, the crotch of my Lord and Savior points towards heaven? Not cool.

    Thumb up Thumb down +158

  3. BillsBayou
    August 24, 2010 at 9:36 am

    At 3:15 the sheep bite it? Still not cool.

    Thumb up Thumb down +63

  4. viktrola
    August 24, 2010 at 9:36 am

    Always buy your vintage steampunk homemade clocks from etsy!

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  5. BillsBayou
    August 24, 2010 at 9:37 am

    At quarter of 9, the branch tickles. (I need to stop thinking of these things and go say the Rosary.)

    Thumb up Thumb down +43

  6. Wilma Fingerdoo
    August 24, 2010 at 9:37 am

    *This listing is for a ‘fun’ Jesus clock face.*

    Like Jesus wearing a Flavor Flav clock face necklace instead of thorns kind of fun?

    Thumb up Thumb down +32

  7. That was fast. It sold. I guess vintage jesus steampunk is rare. Gotta get it while you can.

    Thumb up Thumb down +36

  8. BillsBayou
    August 24, 2010 at 9:39 am

    HOLY CHRIST!

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  9. Wilma Fingerdoo
    August 24, 2010 at 9:41 am

    @BillsBayou-
    At half past 4, the lambs tell you that you’ve been very baaaaad and must say 10 Hail Marys

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

  10. GoreKitten
    August 24, 2010 at 9:42 am

    I now have a new desktop background…

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  11. robinfalcon
    August 24, 2010 at 9:42 am

    Oh Lord!

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  12. razberries
    August 24, 2010 at 9:43 am

    WWJD bracelets and Jesus is my Homeboy teeshirts I have heard are also steampunk.
    Pretty much anything with Jesus’ face on it.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  13. robinfalcon
    August 24, 2010 at 9:43 am

    Excuse me Jesus… do you have the time?

    Thumb up Thumb down +30

  14. GoreKitten
    August 24, 2010 at 9:45 am

    We need regretsy inspired steampunk Jesus Merch… NOW!!!

    Thumb up Thumb down +15

  15. barefootandpreggers
    August 24, 2010 at 9:48 am

    I was skeptical when I heard that archaelogists are digging up goggles in Bethlehem & Jericho.
    No more! This is all the proof I need. Hail merry.

    Thumb up Thumb down +29

  16. trousers rolled
    August 24, 2010 at 9:51 am

    It may not be steampunk but is that a genuine, detail-laden map of the U.S. I spot in the background?

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  17. jesusmotherbug
    August 24, 2010 at 9:52 am

    Each time I look at this, I read “cock” and not “clock”. The strategically placed hole makes me feel less silly about it.

    Thumb up Thumb down +27

  18. methuselah
    August 24, 2010 at 9:53 am

    I have seen a lot of Jesi in my day but that shoop is one of the best ever.

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  19. LeeLooDallas
    August 24, 2010 at 9:56 am

    Barefoot (aka Ham) just wanted to say congratulations.
    : )

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  20. bumblepuppy
    August 24, 2010 at 10:01 am

    Well, at least Jesus is vintage. I guess he was the first “upcycled”.

    Thumb up Thumb down +28

  21. greenfuzz
    August 24, 2010 at 10:08 am

    Sold..Jesus.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  22. butterwort
    August 24, 2010 at 10:11 am

    Stempunk Jeebus! I think my brain just blew a gasket.

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  23. Sir Winston Furchill
    August 24, 2010 at 10:13 am

    BUT IT’S BROWN!! EVERYTHING BROWN IS STEAMPUNK!

    It’s the earthy colors of the Victorian era, where everything was drab… I mean, come on. We have picture proof that everything was brown colored. Isn’t that what “Sepia” means?

    Thumb up Thumb down +23

  24. WhyLikeThis
    August 24, 2010 at 10:13 am

    “Blessed are the Geek, For They Shall Inherit the Earth” -UberL33t Bible, Book Of Mechinations Chapter 7, Verse 42.

    This moment of inspiration brought to you by “Posting Random Crap on Etsy” Stop by and see our new Pottery shards! (Not making this up, she actually has pottery shards for sale. Go check)

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  25. mitte
    August 24, 2010 at 10:14 am

    I didn’t realize before today that all those miracles were powered by coal

    Thumb up Thumb down +30

  26. amazon
    August 24, 2010 at 10:16 am

    Oh no, it sold? Oh well, at least she has a vintage steampunk lamb clock face, and a vintage steampunk Jesus clockface!

    http://www.etsy.com/listing/54445078/vintage-lamb-clock-face-plastic-little

    http://www.etsy.com/listing/53971170/vintage-jesus-clock-face-religious

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  27. Holytape
    August 24, 2010 at 10:20 am

    What would you rather have, a savior that gets nailed to a wooded cross, or a savior in a kick-ass top hat that crosses the sea of Galilee in a steamboat while fighting Gothic zombie sheep?

    Thumb up Thumb down +52

  28. turnaround
    August 24, 2010 at 10:23 am

    I don’t care if it rains or freezes,
    As long as I got my Steampunk Jesus
    Ridin’ on the dashboard of my Victorian era timemachine…

    Thumb up Thumb down +58

  29. StinkBait
    August 24, 2010 at 10:31 am

    I would consider this more Mortar and Pestle Punk.

    Thumb up Thumb down +20

  30. iamhydrogen14
    August 24, 2010 at 10:31 am

    you’d think the son of God wouldn’t need a time machine…

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

  31. Rascalmom
    August 24, 2010 at 10:38 am

    Is it disturbing anyone else that without the clock hands in there, it looks as if he has a vagina? Or if not that, that he has been made genderless at any rate?

    Thumb up Thumb down +17

  32. Penny Tencherry
    August 24, 2010 at 10:39 am

    Corinthians 7:10: For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret(sy), whereas worldly grief produces death.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  33. knittin-kitten
    August 24, 2010 at 10:41 am

    The whole of the Bible was steampunk, didn’t you know? Jesus was tooling around Jerusalem with the apostles in one of those newfangled horseless carriages and the Ark was really a dirigible.

    (Part of me really wants to know what the nuns from my parochial school would think of this. it is vetoed, however, by the greater part of me that is still scared shitless of them.)

    Thumb up Thumb down +25

  34. coolpauper
    August 24, 2010 at 10:47 am

    If you’re going to sell a Jesus clock face, you should at least lay some hands on it.

    Thumb up Thumb down +75

  35. LeeLooDallas
    August 24, 2010 at 10:49 am

    Rascal – that’s the Hole-y Spirit.

    Thumb up Thumb down +17

  36. Patty got abducted by a Steampunk Alien
    August 24, 2010 at 10:50 am

    My Steampunk alien overlords inform me that this is not steampunk.

    And I believe everything my Steampunk alien overlords tell me to believe.

    Hey, just like religion!

    *runs and hides*

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

  37. brucifer
    August 24, 2010 at 10:51 am

    What time is it kids? It’s BLASPHEMY Time!

    Thumb up Thumb down +29

  38. coolpauper
    August 24, 2010 at 10:51 am

    Jesus’ crotch- holier than thou

    Thumb up Thumb down +19

  39. HelenaHandbasket
    August 24, 2010 at 10:59 am

    I hope they don’t sell “special” themed hands to fill the hole in Our Lord and Saviour. Okay, first train to Hell, I really do.

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

  40. knittin-kitten
    August 24, 2010 at 11:01 am

    I think I’m going to cry. She destroyed a book to make stationary.

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  41. WhimsyMistress
    August 24, 2010 at 11:01 am

    I can’t add to the funny here, but I would like to say that #20 and #34 need more “likes”!

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  42. robinfalcon
    August 24, 2010 at 11:02 am

    Check thyself before thou wreck thyself…psalms 1:87

    Thumb up Thumb down +17

  43. If Jesus looked like that when I was in school, I’d have converted to Christianity. Especially if they made us wear hats like that.

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

  44. Skully
    August 24, 2010 at 11:39 am

    Now that’s a Glory Hole!

    Thumb up Thumb down +34

  45. Yeah right, maybe if jesus was steampunk I’d be christian.

    Wait, no I wouldn’t.

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  46. TooManyCookbooks
    August 24, 2010 at 1:54 pm

    Please, please tell me that steam-powered Jesus will end up on a t-shirt.

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  47. Rob T Firefly
    August 24, 2010 at 2:11 pm

    That’s Jesus H. Christs’ brother, Jesus H. G. Wells.

    Thumb up Thumb down +38

  48. invaderhorizongreen
    August 24, 2010 at 2:19 pm

    with or without the clock hands it is still wrong no matter HOW

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  49. invaderhorizongreen
    August 24, 2010 at 2:20 pm

    you look at it SORRY computer glitch

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  50. raven
    August 24, 2010 at 2:46 pm

    A fun jesus clock? I was in the market for the anti-fun version…

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  51. barefootandpreggers
    August 24, 2010 at 3:48 pm

    @LeeLoo, Awwwthanks! But not really. Barefoot yes.
    I can’t get my Ham back yet so I thought preggers would do. Maybe not a good choice? I guess I had placenta on the brain!

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  52. ciaohowdy
    August 24, 2010 at 3:55 pm

    Of course its steampunk. Jesus time travels riding a coal-powered lamb. everyone knows that, duhhh

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  53. ADHD
    August 24, 2010 at 4:41 pm

    I’m wondering why all the handmade stuff featuring Jesus is so God-awful.

    I did not know that bad taste was a prerequisite for Christianity.

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  54. The Blue Kraken
    August 24, 2010 at 5:21 pm

    steam punk hu? sooo if it’s a clock related item of any kind and doesnt even have any gears at all? it must be steam punk?… well ok then .. i must be doing something wrong… i’m confused now

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  55. ZombieHare
    August 24, 2010 at 5:58 pm

    FFS when will people learn that clock doesn’t = steampunk! thank our wind-up god that Regretsy now has a not remotely steampunk section

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  56. Afura
    August 24, 2010 at 6:43 pm

    At 6:30 he’s ‘sad’ Jesus. Buuuut a little after 3:15 and it’s sheep time! Hmm maybe that’s why he’s sad at 6:30.

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  57. suebe
    August 25, 2010 at 4:41 am

    It scares me that someone bought it.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  58. meowtrains
    August 25, 2010 at 10:09 am

    OMG BLACK SHIRT!

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  59. MmeZeeZee
    August 25, 2010 at 12:20 pm

    I love you for that poster. God bless your coal.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  60. HomeAlone
    August 25, 2010 at 2:51 pm

    Someone should really snap up the band name Vintage Jesus.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  61. ShuffleCara
    August 26, 2010 at 12:43 pm

    I once was blind, but then Jesus shared his monocle…

    The *er* nether regions of our lord and savior look like Abraham got at him.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

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