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WTF Alchemy Request

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63 comments on WTF Alchemy Request

  1. envy
    August 23, 2010 at 9:34 am

    So, you want a glove like Freddy’s that is not like Freddy’s? So like the leather part is replaced with black lace? Hey, would that make it steampunk? Oh, this so should have been tagged as steampunk, hot damn!

    BTW, what’s with “cutting flesh?” eek.

    Thumb up Thumb down +38

  2. trousers rolled
    August 23, 2010 at 9:35 am

    Your definition of “TAD” and my definition of “TAD” are a tad different.

    Thumb up Thumb down +113

  3. Mrs.Vagoo
    August 23, 2010 at 9:36 am

    Glad to see this conforms to the rule of “If you start something with ‘this may sound crazy…,’ it is.” Just it is odd, more than a tad.

    Thumb up Thumb down +46

  4. KittyPrawn
    August 23, 2010 at 9:36 am

    Dominatrix much?

    Thumb up Thumb down +39

  5. Mrs.Vagoo
    August 23, 2010 at 9:37 am

    Dagnabbit, trousers. Darn your fast typing fingers to heck.

    Guess I should have taken off my blade-tipped gloves before I tried to comment.

    Thumb up Thumb down +35

  6. curlytopnola
    August 23, 2010 at 9:39 am

    would it help if we put some nail polish on the ends of the blades….would that make it feminine enough?

    Thumb up Thumb down +81

  7. colormekelley
    August 23, 2010 at 9:40 am

    I didn’t realize there was a demand for such feminine wear in Texas. My eyes have been opened.

    Thumb up Thumb down +24

  8. Pieceful Design
    August 23, 2010 at 9:42 am

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -64

  9. thecatsmeow
    August 23, 2010 at 9:46 am

    Should I turn myself in for accessory to murder right after I ship it off, or wait a few weeks?

    Thumb up Thumb down +199

  10. genghiskaty
    August 23, 2010 at 9:46 am

    So… finger dentata, then.

    Thumb up Thumb down +24

  11. knittin-kitten
    August 23, 2010 at 9:51 am

    Make sure it’s feminine because, goddamnit, when I’m going around slicing people up, I’m still a lady.

    Let’s get her together with the previous post. This would be the perfect thing to sculpt his/her pubes with, wouldn’t it?

    Texas. Another state I will now not be visiting.

    Thumb up Thumb down +96

  12. Mistletoe
    August 23, 2010 at 9:55 am

    #4 if she was wouldn’t she say “I want finger armor NOW.”

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  13. Mrs.Vagoo
    August 23, 2010 at 9:58 am

    Thumb up Thumb down +223

  14. knittin-kitten
    August 23, 2010 at 9:58 am

    Has someone seen Edward Scissorhands one too many times?

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  15. kirstenrana
    August 23, 2010 at 9:58 am

    She wants Ann Coulter’s hand, right?

    Thumb up Thumb down +76

  16. kirstenrana
    August 23, 2010 at 9:59 am

    I do not mean that as a compliment to the aforementioned bitch.

    Thumb up Thumb down +33

  17. LeeLooDallas
    August 23, 2010 at 10:02 am

    This will end badly when they are wearing this thing and forget and pick their nose.

    Thumb up Thumb down +93

  18. GrayPyre
    August 23, 2010 at 10:02 am

    What’s funny (or sad you decide) is that I can totally picture what she’s talking about. Although I’d be thinking movie prop but clearly I’m not in the correct head-space. If she thinks she can get a full armor glove, feminine or not, for less than $300 she has many more issues than the ones driving this request.

    Thumb up Thumb down +47

  19. SinisterTwist
    August 23, 2010 at 10:07 am

    When I saw the town all I could think of was:

    “Denton, Denton, you’ve got no pretension
    You’re where the heart is, you’re OK”

    I’m guessing it’s sort of appropriate. After all, this girl’s probably intending to use her glove to leap at people’s hearts & jugulars anyway.

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  20. razberries
    August 23, 2010 at 10:10 am

    ok so the seller probably has to “test” to see just how sharp the blades are, correct?
    because, god forbid, they only scratch the flesh and don’t cut it

    Thumb up Thumb down +22

  21. ratchick
    August 23, 2010 at 10:11 am

    Do we call the cops now? Or wait for the news report to hit the airwaves?

    Thumb up Thumb down +28

  22. ensoul
    August 23, 2010 at 10:23 am

    Just because you posted it online doesn’t mean it’s not a paper trail.

    Thumb up Thumb down +75

  23. ScrapMetal
    August 23, 2010 at 10:25 am

    There are a TAD bit too many kinky folk on Etsy, NOT like there’s anything wrong with that, but a MUST is that we should hear about it here on Regretsy.

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

  24. natcatratbat
    August 23, 2010 at 10:31 am

    Oh Denton, TX. Going to the grocery store will be even more fun! Seriously, it’s a freak show here.

    Thumb up Thumb down +21

  25. Wilma Fingerdoo
    August 23, 2010 at 10:33 am

    She should just check out some of the finger scissors on the female toll collectors along the NJ Turnpike.
    I’m pretty sure the could cut flesh, but they don’t handle small change very well.

    Thumb up Thumb down +20

  26. Tori Random
    August 23, 2010 at 10:36 am

    A mate just went, ” Yah, its probably for blood play, like” I am now concerned about why I know said friend

    Thumb up Thumb down +64

  27. Travelgrrl
    August 23, 2010 at 10:38 am

    It’s a truth universally acknowledged that a single lady is in want of a fine, artfully laced, ball poppin’ glove.

    Thumb up Thumb down +74

  28. Overt Agent
    August 23, 2010 at 10:41 am

    I went to college in Denton, and when I was last there a few years ago, there was a guy selling tobacco/living out of a van. He refused to wear shoes, so when it rained, to protect his infected toes, he put condoms over his toes. So in the charitable spirit of Regretsy, maybe the winning bidder should make a sock version of this glove and send it to that guy.

    Thumb up Thumb down +20

  29. curlytopnola
    August 23, 2010 at 10:42 am

    because nothing says “girly” like skin-shredding finger gloves.

    i feel pretty!
    oh so pretty!
    i feel pretty & witty & gay!

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

  30. Wilma Fingerdoo
    August 23, 2010 at 10:42 am

    Blood play?
    Like Thumb Wrestling done ultimate cage fighting style? One two three four- I do declare a thumb war.

    Thumb up Thumb down +21

  31. methuselah
    August 23, 2010 at 10:49 am

    Yes it’s probably for kinky play, and there are more than a few sites where she can find exactly what she’s looking for. But they are established by people in the scene who know what the market can bear, and this buyer is hoping that someone without a clue will give it a shot for thirty measly bucks. Cheap bitch.

    Thumb up Thumb down +32

  32. Bronc Drywall
    August 23, 2010 at 10:51 am

    Thumb up Thumb down +28

  33. Patty got abducted by a Steampunk Alien
    August 23, 2010 at 10:53 am

    Dude. I totally spent too much time at the ren faire this summer, because till I read “blood play”, I was thinking it was a lame-ass attempt to get past the weapons-check at the gate.

    I gotta hang out with normal people once in a while.

    Thumb up Thumb down +34

  34. FootofCanal
    August 23, 2010 at 10:55 am

    “The most difficult part is MORE THAN LIKELY I DO WANT it to be feminine”. You’re not sure?????? Whats the influence Evil Dead or The Piano????

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  35. suebe
    August 23, 2010 at 10:59 am

    I just hope she takes it off before going to the bathroom.

    Thumb up Thumb down +27

  36. siriusimagery
    August 23, 2010 at 11:03 am

    Note to self- no model shoots in Denton Texas. I think I will be forever paranoid of models who want to wear gloves.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  37. knittin-kitten
    August 23, 2010 at 11:07 am

    My first thought, unfortunately, was also blood play.

    Perhaps Etsy is not the best place to be getting your fetish gear dear requester.

    All I can image is some poor person being sliced apart by a “vintage” glove with exacto knives sewn to the fingertips. And how hard it will be to explain to the emergency room staff exactly what they had been doing.

    Thumb up Thumb down +22

  38. mnemonides
    August 23, 2010 at 11:12 am

    So, I guess it means I’m odd that my only real reaction to this was “wow, $30? good luck with that”?

    Thumb up Thumb down +45

  39. siriusimagery
    August 23, 2010 at 11:21 am

    I think requester has watched Batman with Catwoman too many times: http://hphotos-snc3.fbcdn.net/hs331.snc3/29168_643812043530_18915181_37409137_6615732_n.jpg

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  40. methuselah
    August 23, 2010 at 11:24 am

    @ #37 knittin-kitten: +100

    It’s not just that dedicated fetish shops know what the market can bear but what the play requires, which I should have pointed out but I was PWC (posting without coffee).

    …I was going to add ‘trips to ER never add to a scene’ but that’s just setting myself up for learning that for some, it does. And I just don’t want to know.

    Thumb up Thumb down +25

  41. jesusmotherbug
    August 23, 2010 at 12:05 pm

    Obviously she just wants to be Dr. Claw for Halloween. Mark my words – she’ll submit a request later in the week for a brown trenchcoat and a computer book for her husband and daughter and a collar for her dog that says “Brain”.

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

  42. Gosh
    August 23, 2010 at 12:10 pm

    I hope her husband knows hes going to be Mr Bobbitt next time he sleeps….

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  43. knittin-kitten
    August 23, 2010 at 12:14 pm

    @Methuselah-Too bad we can’t email the seller and let her know that! I sometimes think it’s not that the fetish sites are too expensive for them but that by going to those sites they are admitting their kink.

    So they go on Etsy, make an Alchemy request, buy something, and then have some explaining to do. About the fetish they didn’t want anyone in their small town to find out about.

    Amazing how the circle of life works, isn’t it?

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

  44. evacooper
    August 23, 2010 at 12:22 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -9

  45. Stretch65
    August 23, 2010 at 12:36 pm

    Sounds like she wants to become an honorary Scissor Sister. – OH SNAP

    ouch just cut myself with my dainty knifey gloves

    Thumb up Thumb down +16

  46. sticksandtunes
    August 23, 2010 at 12:49 pm

    This post makes me incredibly glad I’m not going to college in Denton anymore…it’d add a whole new dimension of terror to visiting the Sack ‘n Save around midnight.

    I’m presuming this person must be a townie since they want it done for $30…if the person in question was a spoiled rotten college brat, they’d just beg mommy and daddy for these: http://sn.im/10rsqs

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

  47. coolpauper
    August 23, 2010 at 12:53 pm

    Hello TAD. some punctuation would be nice.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  48. robinfalcon
    August 23, 2010 at 2:50 pm

    Note to requestor:

    RPG’s are pretend!!!

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  49. raven
    August 23, 2010 at 2:59 pm

    Near Dark fan? or Near Dark Psycho?

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  50. Snargasm
    August 23, 2010 at 3:40 pm

    Etsy: Your place to buy and sell all things handmade bargain basement fetish gear, vintage vagina art, and supplies for poorly made sex toys.

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

  51. invaderhorizongreen
    August 23, 2010 at 3:40 pm

    just give me a glove and i will shove iron nails through the fingers. now where is my $30.00 bucks

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  52. whimsicalisthenics
    August 23, 2010 at 4:02 pm

    I fully expect this item to be featured in the Pyramid Collection catalog by this time next year.

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

  53. Dynomoose
    August 23, 2010 at 4:39 pm

    I’m probably wrong, but it sounds like she wants these for a Molly costume.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  54. WhyLikeThis
    August 23, 2010 at 6:22 pm

    as hard as i try, i just can’t imagine any possible way that this could end well

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  55. Vile & Evil Debbie Downer
    August 23, 2010 at 7:20 pm

    YAY DENTON, HOME OF HAPPINESS!

    I actually made gloves like this for a Halloween costume many years back. They were very simple and quite feminine, but being for one night of bar-hopping only, they weren’t made to last. You COULD poke someone’s eyes out with them, though.

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  56. scw0091
    August 23, 2010 at 8:04 pm

    Oh good! I’m from Denton!

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  57. StinkBait
    August 24, 2010 at 4:17 pm

    I’m wondering where the two people that always bid on this shit were when this was posted.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  58. cattiekit
    August 24, 2010 at 5:52 pm

    @#56 scw0091: Well, you’re obviously a Regretsy fan. There’s still hope. ;>)

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  59. glitterbear
    August 24, 2010 at 8:03 pm

    Denton Denton rah rah rah Denton Denton rah rah rah (If Denton’s so fucking happy, why is the sign in a graveyard)?

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  60. Beth
    August 25, 2010 at 12:28 pm

    I live way too close to this person for my own comfort. 0.0

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  61. fvd
    August 25, 2010 at 1:33 pm

    #60 Beth:

    I was thinking the EXACT same thing. o_O

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  62. BootyMalicious
    August 26, 2010 at 3:14 pm

    “i do want it to be feminine”

    Fixed that for you:
    http://i111.photobucket.com/albums/n125/Dragonflywer/glove_Wuornos.jpg

    It’s days late, but just had to be done.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  63. hanar
    September 1, 2010 at 11:40 am

    nightmare on elm streets turned gay?!

    Thumb up Thumb down -2

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