If I tilt my head a little, it looks a little like a patchwork squid. Or maybe it’s Richard Nixon. Or maybe it’s a random assortment of fabric scraps irregularly arranged on a wrinkled background.
Wow, poor Florida is really sinking into the ocean and some kind of horrible accident (nuclear perhaps?) has totally warped the east coast and made the middle of the country collapse on itself.
I wonder if this seller is friends with the one trying to hock the Noah’s Ark blanket? Maybe they are trying to start mass hysteria by skewing reality in an effort to gain control of the *entire world*.
This makes my brain hurt.
Although go RI, you’re now almost as big as CA and TX.
Are those giant bays/oceans between CA and Oregon, and Idaho and Montana?
Texas might have lost ground near LA, but it seems to have invaded part of NM.
This map is accurate for its time. As you can tell that by the lack of Alaska and Hawaii, this map was made between 1912 and 1959, probably closer to 1912. As everyone knows the older you get, certain masses migrate further and further south, and the same is true with countries. This explains the why the New England states appear larger in this map that the currently are, and why Texas is getting fatter and fatter.
So Texas isn’t much bigger than Massachusetts. It’s a Small World After All. Except Lake Erie, which has suddenly quadrupled in size and replaced the part of Canada that normally goes between Michigan and Pennsylvania.
What is wrong with the item.
1. Well, Just Looks at it.
2. Midland US is in a sinkhole
3. Louisiana is huge, probably Pre Katrina
4. $29.99 is way too much for a rag to wash my car.
5. There isn’t much call for Redneck Maps of the US
6. The Great Lakes don’t look kinda average.
7. Florida: The Phallic State.
8. The Arizona border is totally unguarded.
9. Can you say, “Continental Drift”
and finally.
10. Looks like my Cat barfed a patchwork quilt.
I’ve fallen and can’t get up. Can someone please get Texas off of me?
We have enough Texans coming into town, did they really have to bring their damn state with them! I know everything is bigger in Texas but this is ridiculous!
Next month, I’m driving from Baton Rouge to Houston – now it appears as though my 5-hour drive is triple that & will take me across 4 states. I wonder if there’s a ferry across the Gulf of Mexico….
Crap, if there is one, the oil spill has probably suspended operation anyway while tar balls wash up on the shores of Arkansas & Oklahoma.
This is the most awesome preschool class project I’ve ever seen. I can totally imagine all those three and four year olds taking turns cutting out the United States of America with their teeny weeny safety scissors… and they got to write the description too! “Just LOOKS at it, Mommy!” HOW SWEET! <3
Hey Suda! can you hear me?It’s really Hamoza in here-I fell off the continent & can’t get a bouy….
not really-I lost my password & WordPress is F*^cked up , can’t seem to get another….any ideas? I wrote to them for help. I’ll be stuck with this username!!!
Help…..
Hamoza!!! Really, they don’t have an “I forgot my password” feature? Are you really pregnant? Or at least barefoot? How do I know this is really you. Tell me something only we would know.
I’ve heard of those statistics where they point out the alarming number of Americans who couldn’t find their own town on a map. Well, I think we’ve found the source of that problem.
I know it doesn’t have a whole lot up there, but that is no reason to chop off the top half of Maine. Given the lack of geographical knowledge of the seller maybe they think Maine is part of Canada. Also, when did we start needing a ferry boat to get from Texas to Louisiana? Hells bells, my three year old can identify the states better than this seller!
@ natcatratbat:
Thank heaven I wasn’t the only one who looked at this and thought something along the lines of, “Great! You CAN quilt after having your arms amputated!”
Delaware = the new Florida? I do know a few Rhode Islanders who would be happy as clams their state is now as big as MA and NY. I guess it’s good enough for a baby quilt because he or she would probably chew it or drool on it.
August 23, 2010 at 12:04 pm
maybe the person sewing this should’ve “looksed” at the detail. christ my 6 year old could do better.
August 23, 2010 at 12:04 pm
Just looks at the detail! Isn’t its wonderfulls? Is loves it! Is made it with my elbow!
August 23, 2010 at 12:05 pm
Just look at the detailed post-apocalyptic wasteland!
August 23, 2010 at 12:05 pm
Accuracy courtesy of the Texas School Board.
August 23, 2010 at 12:05 pm
This is the sort of thing sewed by my geography proof mother….
August 23, 2010 at 12:08 pm
Hate to correct you, HK, but the acid kicked in WAAAY before Louisiana.
August 23, 2010 at 12:09 pm
If I tilt my head a little, it looks a little like a patchwork squid. Or maybe it’s Richard Nixon. Or maybe it’s a random assortment of fabric scraps irregularly arranged on a wrinkled background.
August 23, 2010 at 12:09 pm
I looksed, and then I crieds
August 23, 2010 at 12:11 pm
Ha! That’ll show Texas! Apparently not EVERYTHING is bigger there…
August 23, 2010 at 12:11 pm
Sarah Palin has an Etsy shop!!
August 23, 2010 at 12:13 pm
further proof that our country is hanging by a thread.
August 23, 2010 at 12:14 pm
Florida looks a little… flaccid.
August 23, 2010 at 12:15 pm
Wow, poor Florida is really sinking into the ocean and some kind of horrible accident (nuclear perhaps?) has totally warped the east coast and made the middle of the country collapse on itself.
August 23, 2010 at 12:15 pm
huh. I always imagined Texas to be a little bigger…
August 23, 2010 at 12:15 pm
This is what we deserve for importing our hand-sewn maps from frakkin’ Canada.
August 23, 2010 at 12:15 pm
Aw, look – little Rhode Island is all grown up.
August 23, 2010 at 12:16 pm
This is a map of the United States post 2012, right?
August 23, 2010 at 12:17 pm
They aren’t blue and red states:
they’re black and blue states.
August 23, 2010 at 12:18 pm
Hey! What’s that greenish state doing way up in northern Quebec? Did you guys invade?
Finally! A chance to get out the helicopter!
August 23, 2010 at 12:18 pm
I wonder if this seller is friends with the one trying to hock the Noah’s Ark blanket? Maybe they are trying to start mass hysteria by skewing reality in an effort to gain control of the *entire world*.
August 23, 2010 at 12:19 pm
#15 bootsychoo:
Rhode Island is just happy to see you!
August 23, 2010 at 12:19 pm
We appear to have relinquished much of Texas.
Not that I’m complaining.
August 23, 2010 at 12:23 pm
I’m with you on that one Methuselah.
I’m thinking that this just looks like Regretsy baits. No profile and nothings else in the shops.
August 23, 2010 at 12:26 pm
This makes my brain hurt.
Although go RI, you’re now almost as big as CA and TX.
Are those giant bays/oceans between CA and Oregon, and Idaho and Montana?
Texas might have lost ground near LA, but it seems to have invaded part of NM.
August 23, 2010 at 12:27 pm
It will be nice when it’s finisheds!
August 23, 2010 at 12:28 pm
No wonder it takes me FOREVER to get places! None of my maps look like this.
August 23, 2010 at 12:28 pm
“Incense, Peppermints and …Holy fuck! What happened to the Eastern seaboard?”
August 23, 2010 at 12:29 pm
I think Texas must have forgotten to take its Viagra in this post-apocalyptic scenario.
August 23, 2010 at 12:30 pm
This map is accurate for its time. As you can tell that by the lack of Alaska and Hawaii, this map was made between 1912 and 1959, probably closer to 1912. As everyone knows the older you get, certain masses migrate further and further south, and the same is true with countries. This explains the why the New England states appear larger in this map that the currently are, and why Texas is getting fatter and fatter.
August 23, 2010 at 12:30 pm
Just because someone ACTUALLY made it with their feet doesn’t mean we can make fun of them.
Oh wait, they used their hands? Nevermind.
August 23, 2010 at 12:31 pm
I don’t usually click on the image to see the shop unless someone is utterly disgusted by something else, then I get curious.
But something told me to check it today. And in the materials, its listed: “cotton, thread, and patriotism.”
Really? PATRIOTISM is a material?
August 23, 2010 at 12:33 pm
It looks like they cinched up the bible belt way too tight.
August 23, 2010 at 12:34 pm
#28 natcatratbat:
Don’t be so sure, the name of the shop is muddlefoot
August 23, 2010 at 12:36 pm
I want to suspect this is some kind of political statement, but god knows what of.
August 23, 2010 at 12:39 pm
The United States of Dysmorphia
August 23, 2010 at 12:41 pm
“My Nana said this was reely good and took me neerly a weak to maake.” HATERZ
August 23, 2010 at 12:41 pm
So Texas isn’t much bigger than Massachusetts. It’s a Small World After All. Except Lake Erie, which has suddenly quadrupled in size and replaced the part of Canada that normally goes between Michigan and Pennsylvania.
We hardly knew ye, Ontario.
August 23, 2010 at 12:42 pm
Where is Maryland?
August 23, 2010 at 12:44 pm
I think something ate half of Montana.
August 23, 2010 at 12:49 pm
What is wrong with the item.
1. Well, Just Looks at it.
2. Midland US is in a sinkhole
3. Louisiana is huge, probably Pre Katrina
4. $29.99 is way too much for a rag to wash my car.
5. There isn’t much call for Redneck Maps of the US
6. The Great Lakes don’t look kinda average.
7. Florida: The Phallic State.
8. The Arizona border is totally unguarded.
9. Can you say, “Continental Drift”
and finally.
10. Looks like my Cat barfed a patchwork quilt.
August 23, 2010 at 12:49 pm
Someone is maybe a little too focused on the details and forgot about the big picture? And then forgot about the details too.
Sewing is hard!
August 23, 2010 at 12:49 pm
I’ve fallen and can’t get up. Can someone please get Texas off of me?
We have enough Texans coming into town, did they really have to bring their damn state with them! I know everything is bigger in Texas but this is ridiculous!
August 23, 2010 at 12:52 pm
Thank god Oregon and California JUST broke apart. I drove through there just over a week ago, and I’m not a strong swimmer.
August 23, 2010 at 12:54 pm
Next month, I’m driving from Baton Rouge to Houston – now it appears as though my 5-hour drive is triple that & will take me across 4 states. I wonder if there’s a ferry across the Gulf of Mexico….
Crap, if there is one, the oil spill has probably suspended operation anyway while tar balls wash up on the shores of Arkansas & Oklahoma.
August 23, 2010 at 12:56 pm
When did “we” grow a teenie green peenie?
August 23, 2010 at 1:01 pm
glad to see that one of their materials is “patriotism”
i wonder what country they pledge allegiance to…
August 23, 2010 at 1:13 pm
I think I see elephants fucking in the Northeast.
August 23, 2010 at 1:22 pm
Don’t they know better than to mess with Texas?
August 23, 2010 at 1:27 pm
I’m confused–it’s not Mercator. It’s not Lambert. Which projection is she using??
August 23, 2010 at 1:29 pm
Dix, don’t go confusin’ us with those smarty pants, big city words. It’s the Palin projection. I dun tol’ ya already.
August 23, 2010 at 1:37 pm
Even scarier yet…this is the first item put on sale. Just joined yesterday. I can’t imagine what’s coming next.
August 23, 2010 at 1:45 pm
I think there are 2 things wrong with this map:
1. The “crafter” used this for her map of the United States:
http://www-personal.umich.edu/~mejn/election/2008/stateelecredblue1024.png
(that’s a “weighted” map based on electoral votes or population- I don’t remember)
and 2: She totally botched her 1/4″ seam allowance
August 23, 2010 at 1:52 pm
So Warren Jensen opened up an Etsy shop, huh? He can probably take the criticism, just don’t touch his ears.
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_Ph8V052fCNE/RoKTfZVMnjI/AAAAAAAAAlo/rprPY5uiSJA/s1600-h/warren.jpg
August 23, 2010 at 1:59 pm
#49 rovian.
August 23, 2010 at 1:59 pm
Maybe Miss Teen South Carolina was right, and there IS a map shortage in this country!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lj3iNxZ8Dww
August 23, 2010 at 2:00 pm
Looks like those crab-hammering dickbags finally got theirs!
August 23, 2010 at 2:02 pm
At least HK cropped the big toe out of the foreground (bottom right of photo). Maybe the seller is hoping to buy shoes with the profits?
August 23, 2010 at 2:03 pm
I just noticed the toe in the main picture!!! Ewwww…
August 23, 2010 at 2:05 pm
This is the most awesome preschool class project I’ve ever seen. I can totally imagine all those three and four year olds taking turns cutting out the United States of America with their teeny weeny safety scissors… and they got to write the description too! “Just LOOKS at it, Mommy!” HOW SWEET! <3
August 23, 2010 at 2:10 pm
#56 starrydreams: I keep sayin’, the name of the shop IS muddlefoot. What do you expect? A dick wearing a Santa suit?
August 23, 2010 at 2:29 pm
I just noticed that it looks like my avatar has a little penis.
August 23, 2010 at 2:40 pm
#60 Suda…. bwahhh hahhhhh!
August 23, 2010 at 2:44 pm
Hey Suda! can you hear me?It’s really Hamoza in here-I fell off the continent & can’t get a bouy….
not really-I lost my password & WordPress is F*^cked up , can’t seem to get another….any ideas? I wrote to them for help. I’ll be stuck with this username!!!
Help…..
August 23, 2010 at 2:50 pm
Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/0903/billsbayou/Jabberwok.jpg
August 23, 2010 at 2:58 pm
Hamoza!!! Really, they don’t have an “I forgot my password” feature? Are you really pregnant? Or at least barefoot? How do I know this is really you. Tell me something only we would know.
August 23, 2010 at 3:06 pm
I think my Autistic son who knows the states in alphabetical order (forward and backward) would have something to say about this tragedy!
August 23, 2010 at 3:18 pm
@suda-nips & tips with a sweet placenta sauce? Hummus & falafel, hold the offal?
Of course WordPress has that feature-I tried it many times with no success.I go through the process to have a new password sent & I get nada back. ….
I think I’m me, barefoot & naked-it is almost 100 degrees after all! Hope you’re not melting there in the val.
August 23, 2010 at 3:32 pm
someone has no sense of direction when it comes to quilting
August 23, 2010 at 3:42 pm
I prefer to use it as an excercise in acting, and “just looks at the detail” is more of a stage direction.
August 23, 2010 at 3:46 pm
I must notify my cousins that they no longer live in Utah.
August 23, 2010 at 3:50 pm
Nothing about this is beautiful. NOTHING.
August 23, 2010 at 3:55 pm
Oh crappola, I meant tell the cousins that Idaho is gone , not Utah.
August 23, 2010 at 4:31 pm
Well, as a former Rhode Islander, I can see that this map is just arranged by the awesomeness of the state. Sorry, Texas.
August 23, 2010 at 4:42 pm
Ham-I lost my password once. Go to Regretsy, try to log in, and they will send you info to your email.
Please come back Hamoza, we need your snarkiness!
August 23, 2010 at 5:05 pm
I’ve heard of those statistics where they point out the alarming number of Americans who couldn’t find their own town on a map. Well, I think we’ve found the source of that problem.
August 23, 2010 at 5:10 pm
I know it doesn’t have a whole lot up there, but that is no reason to chop off the top half of Maine. Given the lack of geographical knowledge of the seller maybe they think Maine is part of Canada. Also, when did we start needing a ferry boat to get from Texas to Louisiana? Hells bells, my three year old can identify the states better than this seller!
August 23, 2010 at 5:22 pm
@ natcatratbat:
Thank heaven I wasn’t the only one who looked at this and thought something along the lines of, “Great! You CAN quilt after having your arms amputated!”
August 23, 2010 at 5:42 pm
wow. I just laughed so hard I cried. I can picture myself and my roommate creating something along the same lines!
August 23, 2010 at 5:58 pm
Delaware = the new Florida? I do know a few Rhode Islanders who would be happy as clams their state is now as big as MA and NY. I guess it’s good enough for a baby quilt because he or she would probably chew it or drool on it.
August 23, 2010 at 6:17 pm
this right here?
This is why it’s embarrassing to go abroad as an American.
the rest of the world believes this is what we think maps look like
so…
thanks for perpetuating that stupid stereotype and making us all look like morons again, douchebag.
*Growl, growl, snarl*
August 23, 2010 at 6:19 pm
someone *really* hates Pennsylvania
August 23, 2010 at 6:51 pm
This must be the U.S. after whatever is supposed to be happening in 2012.
August 23, 2010 at 7:00 pm
Eerily, Wisconsin is PERFECT.
August 23, 2010 at 7:55 pm
EAST COAST ATTACK! Looks out, Texas and California!
Maybe this isn’t someone quilting on drugs without a map or an iron, but a *complicated political statement.*
Uh, yeah. That must be it.
August 23, 2010 at 8:24 pm
This belongs in MOBA, though I don’t think they are yet accepting mixed media.
August 23, 2010 at 8:58 pm
Did anybody else hear the seller’s description in Skwisgaar Skwigelf’s voice as they read it?
August 24, 2010 at 1:42 am
Looks like the creator has something against Texas.
I’m guessing it was because Twi-Con was held there.
August 24, 2010 at 5:57 am
Quilts, baby, that’s where it’s at! Just looks at it and you’ll be sew patriotic!
August 24, 2010 at 10:54 am
I like teeny little California with the big gulf between it and Oregon and how Texas overlaps New Mexico. The more I look at it, the funnier it gets.
It looks like it started out with a halfway decent Nebraska and just spiraled out in all directions into chaos and disaster.
August 24, 2010 at 10:55 am
@Brie B-Yes! Although I occasionally hear Nathan Explosion’s too when reading seller descriptions.
August 24, 2010 at 11:27 am
I love how Florida is weighing down the entire U.S. That cocaine is heavy.
August 24, 2010 at 2:39 pm
@ #37 jesusmotherbug :
CRAP we are gonna go vacation near Ontario lake this upcoming week now where the heck are we gonna be now?
August 24, 2010 at 4:16 pm
@knitten-kitten-aw , UR sweet!
Maybe this is the Loiusana unpurchase?
August 24, 2010 at 4:16 pm
LOUISIANA
August 25, 2010 at 10:55 am
Okay who the hell bought this “quilt”? lol
May 20, 2011 at 1:22 am
i don’t know, but i wish it was me
August 26, 2010 at 8:30 pm
I’m a little hurt Hawaii was left out of this awesome party.
October 19, 2010 at 2:45 pm
The stupidity of this one actually makes me angry.
July 25, 2011 at 9:40 am
Two Gulf of Mexicos, NDak is in Canada, and Mass is the same size as Texas. You learn something new every day, doncha?