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The Three Horsemen of the Roflpocalypse

By now you may have noticed that shiny new navigation bar on top of the page.

Regretsy has officially joined forces with PEOPLE OF WALMART and Lamebook, making us the three most important sites in the universe.

Except possibly for this one.

WELCOME NEW BASTARDS

54 comments on The Three Horsemen of the Roflpocalypse

  1. KittyPrawn
    August 16, 2010 at 4:59 pm

    I… I’m sorry, HK. While I do adore you, you just can’t provide me with the same amazing web content as Melanie Griffith.

    We’re breaking up. That grass looks so green.

    It’s even better on Vicodin. – HK

    Thumb up Thumb down +44

  2. coolpauper
    August 16, 2010 at 5:03 pm

    I like the movie where she and James Woods were junkie thieves.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  3. katkando
    August 16, 2010 at 5:04 pm

    You know how that lady had fits when she heard Mary Hart? That’s what Melanie’s voice does to me. I don’t need Vicodin. I’m truly transported to another world. And it’s all flowery. With doors. And that voice…Can’t. Resist. The. Voice.

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  4. trousers rolled
    August 16, 2010 at 5:05 pm

    What a gift! That site is so awesome that I don’t know where to go first. I feel like a kid in a candy shop! I could hyperventilate.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  5. thecatsmeow
    August 16, 2010 at 5:05 pm

    If you added an internet search bar, this would be my new homepage <3

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  6. hamoza
    August 16, 2010 at 5:06 pm

    That inspired me to drown myself in that olympic sized pool.

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  7. Patty got abducted by a Steampunk Alien
    August 16, 2010 at 5:06 pm

    If a Melanie movie is on cable, I turn it on, even if I’m not watching, just so I can hear it. Even better when she swears.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  8. Travelgrrl
    August 16, 2010 at 5:09 pm

    All you need is Cakewrecks and Awkward Family Photos and you’re all set!

    Thumb up Thumb down +40

  9. HelenaHandbasket
    August 16, 2010 at 5:12 pm

    Drugs are bad…m’kay?

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  10. Djerbootyhotep
    August 16, 2010 at 5:13 pm

    I didn’t realize Melanie Griffith could read. Learn something new every day…

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  11. It’s a trifecta of fuckery!

    Thumb up Thumb down +19

  12. hippiejo74
    August 16, 2010 at 5:16 pm

    WTF?? I mean…really? Seriously, Mel – it’s time you looked at some professional help. I need a Vicodin….

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  13. Nancy Pants
    August 16, 2010 at 5:16 pm

    Really? You had to lure us into that pool of yuck that is MG’s website? Not fair. I’m not only going to have to poke out my eyes, but puncture my eardrums as well. And it’s going to be on your conscience. I hope you can live with that…

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  14. KitCameo
    August 16, 2010 at 5:21 pm

    I’ve got oodles of extra vicodin leftover from my surgery. Time for a visit to Avalon! Won’t you join me, BeeJesus?

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  15. I realize that Melanie Griffith’s life isn’t exactly private, but it still seems odd to me that she named two of her children’s school on her website. And to add to the creepiness, that information is in the “Intimacy” room.

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  16. LeeLooDallas
    August 16, 2010 at 5:25 pm

    Why did I keep clicking “Gallery”, whhhhhyyyyyy?

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  17. bootsychoo
    August 16, 2010 at 5:25 pm

    When I typed in melaniegriffith.com, Google said “This page is in Polish. Translate it using the Google toolbar?”

    Uh, thanks, Google toolbar, but, um, no.

    Thumb up Thumb down +15

  18. greenfuzz
    August 16, 2010 at 5:26 pm

    Regretsy will always be #1 in failure to me.

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  19. leftfoot
    August 16, 2010 at 5:28 pm

    I have a feeling that the Goddess Book Club involves some sort of book that teaches you to talk to your vagina.

    Still, I’ll never love Melanie Griffith, lamebook or PoW like I love regretsy.

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  20. leftfoot
    August 16, 2010 at 5:31 pm

    #8 Travelgrrl : And http://thereifixedit.com/

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  21. MaraudingJ
    August 16, 2010 at 5:36 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -48

  22. Holden Back
    August 16, 2010 at 5:41 pm

    I wait for Almodovar to make the bio-pic, and reclaim Antonio Banderas.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  23. batontwirler1
    August 16, 2010 at 5:41 pm

    There is one good Melanie Griffith movie – “Something Wild” with Jeff Daniels.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  24. Patty got abducted by a Steampunk Alien
    August 16, 2010 at 5:56 pm

    I’m currently on Vicodin and a muscle relaxer called Cyclobenzaprine. Impressed that I could type that up?

    Really? Because I am.

    I’ve got the Vicodin, the Cyclobenzaprine, Melanie’s site, now all I need is ice cream.

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

  25. WhimsyMistress
    August 16, 2010 at 6:04 pm

    Pshaw. Fucking Corporate sellouts. Rage Against the Machine (TM), sheeples!

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  26. quirkymom
    August 16, 2010 at 6:05 pm

    is that melanie griffith website for real?? surely not…. i had no idea she was so deep.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  27. Monstrosa
    August 16, 2010 at 6:09 pm

    Is that the Melanie Griffith website for the blind?

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  28. Monstrosa
    August 16, 2010 at 6:13 pm

    Aaa! I looked at it again. I’m going to suggest a new mantra: Align=center, align=center, align=center. Repeat the Mantra and let go….

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  29. Vile & Evil Debbie Downer
    August 16, 2010 at 6:20 pm

    Rag on her all you want, Mel-Mel will always have a special place in my heart for her role in John Waters’ movie Cecil B. Demented.

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  30. Chick on a Stick
    August 16, 2010 at 6:22 pm

    Melanie Griffith has a website. And I clicked on it like a dimwit. I’m scarred for life. That is something you just can’t “unsee.”

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  31. Dynomoose
    August 16, 2010 at 6:40 pm

    Does this mean you’ll be getting paid? By Melanie Griffith?

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  32. mambolica
    August 16, 2010 at 6:41 pm

    @Chick on a Stick: Frankly, there is something more scarring than Melanie Griffith’s website.

    Melanie Griffith.

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  33. Dynomoose
    August 16, 2010 at 6:41 pm

    Good god. What is with her little intros?

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  34. suebe
    August 16, 2010 at 7:06 pm

    Hello Melanie. How’s Don?

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  35. knittin-kitten
    August 16, 2010 at 7:23 pm

    I can’t get into the Melanie Griffith site. I can’t believe I don’t get to see the craziness. Darn It. I never get anything nice.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  36. janncri
    August 16, 2010 at 7:35 pm

    Melanie Griffith’s site is just as tacky as she is, kind of a Thomas Kinkade extravaganza narrated by her irritating baby voice…

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

  37. 3 toed sloth
    August 16, 2010 at 7:54 pm

    i dont know why but while i love lamebook and regretsy, i hate people of walmart. cakerecks ftw

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  38. hamoza
    August 16, 2010 at 8:42 pm

    Why d’ya think Tippi Hedren devoted herself to animals? ‘Cuz she knows how nutty people are- esp. her own daughter.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  39. Craiggers
    August 16, 2010 at 9:26 pm

    The fantasy section of tonyaharding.com is waaaaaaaaaay better!

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  40. Thenutmeg2000
    August 16, 2010 at 10:10 pm

    I bet she is wondering why her site is getting so many hits all of the sudden…

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

  41. turtlegirl76
    August 17, 2010 at 6:42 am

    I really hope the commenters from those sites don’t come over here though. As great as the content is, the commenters are assholes.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  42. rubypony
    August 17, 2010 at 7:05 am

    “Enter the magic door.” lawls.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  43. laughinglurker
    August 17, 2010 at 7:23 am

    Great that you’ve joined forces with lamebook and PoW, but Regretsy still rules!

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  44. erikajurney
    August 17, 2010 at 8:31 am

    Today’s quote of the day is by “Hermen Melville”.

    I.can’t.breathe.

    (And congrats ;)

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  45. Marlo
    August 17, 2010 at 9:12 am

    My god, you’re like the holy trinity of fuckery. I love it.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  46. Lara
    August 17, 2010 at 9:56 am

    Helen Killer, tell me this doesn’t mean you sold the site, like those sites that are good until they get gobbled up by the Cheezburger network, and then they either die or just all become one big ad for each other! Say it ain’t so!

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  47. Lara
    August 17, 2010 at 9:57 am

    P.S. I have refused to visit People of Walmart since they changed their format, making me click a new page for each WalCreature so they could get more clicks for their ads. Took them off my RSS feed and haven’t been back.

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  48. Stretch65
    August 17, 2010 at 12:29 pm

    “When LAMEBOOK is in the 7th house
    and REGRETSY aligns with Mars
    PEOPLE OF WALMART will rule the planets
    and see VAGOOs shaped like stars
    This is the dawning of the Whimsicle Fuckery
    Whimsicle Fuckery
    THE FUCKERY!!! (namaste BITCHES!!)

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  49. invaderhorizongreen
    August 17, 2010 at 3:09 pm

    now all we need is a forth horseman and we can take over the internet

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  50. that1spazticchik
    August 17, 2010 at 3:14 pm

    You do not know how happy this has made me. POW owns.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  51. raven
    August 17, 2010 at 4:56 pm

    Best news all day!

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  52. xyzzy
    August 17, 2010 at 7:33 pm

    If it were up to me, I’d partner Regretsy with humor sites “STFUParents” (fucked-up FB posts by parents, with commenters almost as cool as the ones here) & “Up Your Bottom!” (mistranslation tales). :-)

    I haven’t seen the other site, but IMHO PoW is riding Regretsy’s coat-tails… I gave up on it a few months ago due to weak content & obnoxious asshole commenters (REALLY hope they don’t come here), and saw a lot of others doing the same.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  53. NightInTunisia
    August 17, 2010 at 9:28 pm

    Why doesn’t anybody just say it? People of Walmart sucks! They’re even more mean spirited than a lonely, racist mofo like myself.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  54. Stiflers Mom
    July 18, 2012 at 11:53 am

    How did I end up back in 2010?

    But I digress . . . reclick on Melanie Griffin to see what happens when you don’t pay your GoDaddy bill.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

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