nothing says sexy like green fuzzy/scaly legs.
This must be the new antibiotic resistant strain of poison OOAK.
Would look smashing with the green goddess mossy pussy necklace.
Does anyone have any nail polish? I think I have a run in my stockings.
She should see a doctor for that.
These are tagged “leg warmers”, but I think they are more like “leg itchers.” Or maybe leg wormers.
Heidi Klum could not make these things look good.
I can give the cats some tights + catnip & a few minutes rolling around on the floor & wah-laaaa, same shredded shit.
These remind me of that time at camp when we made our own hammocks by tying square knots every two inches in about a thousand pieces of nylon line. After about a billion hours of it, everyone’s knots were more like six inches apart. We took those hammocks camping and everyone’s heads fell through their hammocks. Thank you Outward Bound.
Now that I think about it, I may just have to buy these for the nostalgia.
If she’s not careful, she’ll have mushroom dildos growing on her legs before she knows it.
I didn’t know varicose veins came in green.
Do they come with poison ivy soap? I’m getting a rash just looking at them…
She can catch fish with her legs.
Poor girl. Hopefully with some good antibiotics, it’ll clear up in a few days…
People with varicose veins rejoice!
Reminds me of the vine-rape scene in Evil Dead… good stuff.
Honey? Your legs have gone bad. It’s time to throw them out.
As a fat chick, I have to say that I’m relieved that these are in “small or x-tra small” because squeezing my enormous, cottage-cheese thighs into these would be disturbing and frightening.
So I had to Google image search the supposed Rodarte tights, to compare. To be fair, the “inspiration” tights are also fugly, but there’s no excuse for these. Time to find better inspiration.
I don’t get it. It must be art.
This dress in her shop is kinda cute… http://www.etsy.com/listing/38846857/dangerously-sweet
I’m just a little worried about the “black tool” under the skirt. 0_0
If that’s knitting, I’m the Jolly Green Giant. Badly knotted while stoned out of her gourd twine is more like it.
OMG that makes my legs itch just looking at it.
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
@ # 20-I think there are a couple of black tools to watch out for……
If only she used some variegated purple vines, I could buy them and cosplay my grandmother.
buy these Gorgeous tights and Suddenly incorrect capitalisation will Begin to make sense.
So are they tights or are they thigh-highs? They can’t be both. Thigh-high tights would mean you couldn’t pull up the waistband much past your knees.
Oh wait, that’s right: I don’t care. Never mind.
Yes, I think they WILL “turn heads wherever you go”… but not because they look good!! UGH!
As a knitter, I am offended. As a person with functioning eyes, I am VERY offended!
The dress the model has on is cute. See I said something nice!! Yay me!
The shit she’s got going on thighs down is an epic disaster.
Here ya go, purple vein horrors: http://www.etsy.com/listing/37337163/purple-thigh-high-knitted-tights
I thought for a second that this was a still shot from CSI, and it was a dead body in the woods.
wait, wait! I get it!
It’s KATE MOSS!
dear lord, they’re serious aren’t they?
they’re really trying to sell a pair of tights that look like rope that’s been caught in an overflow drain for over a year?
“Would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now?” -Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
So when you say “sexy” and “turn heads everywhere you go” what you mean is “everyone will point and laugh at your crazy ass leg gear and your tights will catch on furniture and your boss will call you in to have an awkward talk about professional attire,” right?
They need a garter belt and she calls them tights, the garment that inspires them is fugly, and all I can think of is how horrifically uncomfortable these ghastly things must be. Am I getting old or is she just totally full of it?
This is why you use a condom with the “Long Stroker”.
Oh HELL no. Where’s my Sarna lotion? *scratching furiously*
CAUTION DO NOT STAND STILL IN THESE as your legs will attract dog urine!
As much as these are a fashion disaster, I had to applaud her on her excellent camoflauge tights. I could barely see her legs against the tree!
BRIDE OF SWAMP THING
#20 tdro…. the “black tool” you ref’d to at http://www.etsy.com/listing/38846857/
]dangerously-sweet must be that long stroker of the previous post. Good to see the Etsy sellers are working together to up their sales.
So, to this seller I say, Up Yours!
Her roots are showing.
I looked up the inspiring “Rodarte 2008 fall line” and sure enough there was this… http://w4wtoronto.files.wordpress.com/2008/10/rodarte_cl1.jpg?w=360&h=460
So you can see, it’s really inspired by high fashion! Only, bad high fashion… then made poorly with yarn of such a fluorescent green that it ends up looking like an algae-encrusted fishing net.
This happens when you go for a stroll in the woods an walk not fast enough; vines will start to entangle your legs or moss will grow on them. An interesting thing to happen in a horror-story or similar, not a good inspiration for thights.
WAHHHHH ….. Take them OFFA me. TAKE THEM OFF …. NOW …. WAHHHH …. ( getting hysterical as I tear away at them frantically ….)
Moss green tights made from green moss. Yaay!
I live on the Northwest side of Lake Ontario and never would have thought that wading knee high in one of the seaweed riddled, unkempt parts of the beach could result in such a fashion statement.
If you pair it with this dress in green
you can become one with the forest.
I’m sorry honey, but you have some fungus growing out of your vagina.
If I were using the sculpey mushroom miscatagorized as a penis as a knitting needle, my results would be quite similar to this.
Or this looks like my cats tried to knit socks and got distracted.
It’s far too early in the morning for me to be seeing this fuckery.
As a knitter, I shake my head slowly in bewilderment. As a Regretsian I say, it looks like somebody fell in a pile of gillyweed and got entangled and then tried to run back to Hogwarths before curfew.
I’m a little confused on the terminology. Maybe one of you knitters can help me out.
Does “rodarte” mean “blindfolded”?
isn’t Rodarte Don Quixote’s horse? If a horse made those, that would make a whole lot more sense.
(and I know it was Rocinante)
That movie poster rocks my knitted leg itchers!
@#49-as far as I can tell, and I have a degree in fashion, Rodarte collection was pretty bad as I remember. So I think it means baggy knitted dresses. They all looked like they were going to sag down to your ankles at any minute.
Oh course, if they had, they could have covered up this mess.
Wow, I shouldn’t ever ever ever type after only 5 hours of sleep. please read the first sentence as:
As far as I can tell, and I have a degree in fashion, the Rodarte collection she’s referencing was pretty bad.
heads will turn indeed… and fingers will point
Not since Mastedons roamed the earth has a fashion atrocity like this been created. That goes for its “inspiration”, the Rodartes 2008 sad sorry knitted sh*t collection.
Thank you EmpressBarb! That was exactly what I was trying to say but my half asleep brain thwarted me.
maybe i should stop coming to this site
I was babysitting my friend’s booth in a local arts fair. when a kid asked me about one of the pieces I told him:
“He made it happen in his artistic ability”
this was accepted as a perfectly reasonable answer.
Regretsy is starting to eat my brain
As a knitter, I have to say, this is not knitting. My first knitted item ever was never this bad. This is a bunch of yarn out of the bargain bin from the craft store tied in a bunch of knots.
Let’s not even get into the horror of MOHAIR tights. Oh god, I’m itchy just thinking about it.
Now I go back to knitting REAL socks, that, you know, don’t have holes the size of the MOON in them.
Hermione never expected the Devil’s Snare to keep growing the way it did …
This seller needs to step away from the size 50 DPNs.
Where the fuck do you even find DPNs that huge, and why would anyone want to work with baseball-bat sized DPNs?
The 2nd photo of the following item may explain things a bit-
you can see her trailer in the background
How the f do you get all those holes past your 10 toes? It would take an hour to put them on.
this looks like spider man sneezed on your legs while he had the flu
ya know maybie they are supposed to be holy tights
News Flash: These have NOTHING to do with Rodarte. Sorry. And WOOF!
Even the originals would be unwearable, and at least they were flat on the skin. Although I think they would look awful on anyone not a walking skeleton, as the model they were displayed on was. I have worn “lace” stockings before and they catch on everything and tear so easily. None have survived unscathed a normal day of wear. (And not an active day, a sitting around and posing special-events type day) I’m surprised these even lasted the photo shoot…
Gee, what I always wanted. A pair of “stockings” that not only make the user look like she has a ton of varicose veins (from the stray yarn waving around), but also manage to make her look like she’s trying to go the record for the world’s longest running trich infection.
You took my only reference, The Ruins. Well, at least I know HK and I are on the same wavelength.
I got nothinn’ now. Except maybe some fake blood on her legs and a big ass knife to complete the look.
This is knitting? Score! There’s hope for me yet!
This is some real live bullshit to the inth degree. What the fuck is really going?
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