“Kyle never thought much about his quirky girlfriend’s crafting habits. She was adventurous in the bedroom like she was with her glue gun and glitter paint. He liked that, yes, he did. He never cared for her wacky crafts and some of the things she made him do annoyed him, but he reminded himself of how adventurous she was in bed. Then they broke up. Months later, he never understood why his modeling career wouldn’t take off. Till someone anonymously sent him a link to a new site called…
We have your son. Unless you comply with our demands we will subject him to shame and humiliation beyond imagination. to show how serious we are,we enclosed this picture. Do not try to find us. Do not contact the police. We will be in touch.
Ooooooooooooh, crap. It’s a girl whose shop name loosely translates to “I’ve been fartin’” He was probably scared NOT to do it. Has anyone founded a men’s shelter yet? Those poor boys… nowhere to turn…
@#25 HelenaHandbasket-I’m thinking no street cred there either. I bet magickle glitter strewn fairies would take the wearing of this hoodie as an open invitation to punch him in the pancreas.
Three possible explanations:
1. He’s a furry and proud of it, and this is his profile pic on some emo furry site.
2. He hears voices who told him to do it.
3. He lost a bet.
Vile & Evil Debbie Downer
July 29, 2010 at 9:53 pm
Sorry – I saw this and laughed so hard I passed out. When I came to, there was a majestic unicorn standing over me with a magickle rainbow jizz halo around its head, saying, “You think you know what evil is? I’ll show you evil…”
Oh my did I suggest meth at Regretsy! Yikes, never! I was sort of thinking of the 80s commercial “this is your brains on drugs” and when I saw that post and pic something else entirely different popped into my mind. My apologies.
I still feel really bad for the guy wearing it. When going through old photos today I came across one of my son who had that same face when I was practicing with my new camera. Oddly that face looks really cute on a kid but pathetic on a grown man.
“hey hun, let’s go for a walk in the park”
“ok…why do you need that bag?”
“don’t worry about it. Oh, can’t forget my camera”
.
.
.
“I made something for you – try it on so I can take a picture”
“…I hate you”
Luckily she’s the matron in a halfway house and only had to promise this guy an extra pancake to get him to model. Cus I don’t know how else you’d talk anybody into modelling in this particularly AWESOME item.
Had another look at her customized shoes and realized her work is actually kind of awesome. Their wild whimsy makes it a mere hop to construction of a crazy unicorn hoodie and casts the whole listing–including the painfully resigned expression on the model’s face–in a good-natured light.
It’s a cute idea, but putting a pointy fabric spire on your head does not make you look like a unicorn, fuzzy ears not withstanding. Ask for the horn in orange, though, and you could be mistaken for a human traffic cone.
July 29, 2010 at 3:16 pm
that’s the saddest gay i’ve ever seen online.
July 29, 2010 at 3:18 pm
What would you get if a Teletubbie and My Little Pony mated? This thing.
July 29, 2010 at 3:18 pm
Oh, dude. Stamp your foot once if you’re miserable. Twice if you’re REALLY miserable.
July 29, 2010 at 3:21 pm
Never piss your boyfriend off at Hobby Lobby. His revenge is just too humiliating.
(Steve Zahn?)
July 29, 2010 at 3:22 pm
What’s in the bag? Funyuns and condoms!
July 29, 2010 at 3:22 pm
Leave her now, dude. She made that for the sole purpose of glorying in the power her vagina holds over you.
July 29, 2010 at 3:23 pm
that poor bastard.
July 29, 2010 at 3:25 pm
He sat on the park bench, sad and lonely, wondering why none of the other boys wanted to play leap frog with him.
July 29, 2010 at 3:26 pm
So acrylic yarn = harvested unicorn hair? I never knew that.
July 29, 2010 at 3:28 pm
Who knew twinkies + fuzzy fur made unicorn ears?
July 29, 2010 at 3:28 pm
“Lets go to the park!” she said.
“Are you feeling horny?” she said.
Not. What. I. Was. Expecting. : (
July 29, 2010 at 3:28 pm
I wonder what the poor guy was promised to get him to pose for the photos.
July 29, 2010 at 3:29 pm
I hope whatever it was it was worth it.
July 29, 2010 at 3:30 pm
“Kyle never thought much about his quirky girlfriend’s crafting habits. She was adventurous in the bedroom like she was with her glue gun and glitter paint. He liked that, yes, he did. He never cared for her wacky crafts and some of the things she made him do annoyed him, but he reminded himself of how adventurous she was in bed. Then they broke up. Months later, he never understood why his modeling career wouldn’t take off. Till someone anonymously sent him a link to a new site called…
July 29, 2010 at 3:30 pm
…’etsy.”
July 29, 2010 at 3:32 pm
‘When Furries Attack’
July 29, 2010 at 3:33 pm
#9 greengeekgirl : I did but I was trying to keep it a secret.
July 29, 2010 at 3:37 pm
I felt inspired to create some Regretsy Math…
http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4132/4841598765_cf7a53564c.jpg
July 29, 2010 at 3:37 pm
but does it come with a matching merkin?
July 29, 2010 at 3:38 pm
I’ve seen scarier furries, but never ones quite this pathetic.
July 29, 2010 at 3:44 pm
How pussy-whipped does a guy have to be to let himself be photographed in this get-up?
July 29, 2010 at 3:46 pm
Is this like a My Little Pony version of Human Pony Play?
July 29, 2010 at 3:53 pm
Or perhaps the Bloodhound Gang in their latest video.
July 29, 2010 at 3:53 pm
Be careful when you wear this hoodie, or else someone might mistake you for a real emo-corn
July 29, 2010 at 3:56 pm
I can’t wait to see what the thing on the park bench is. It’s not in her shop yet.
July 29, 2010 at 3:58 pm
Wearing this hoodie will ruin your street cred, but it will really boost your magickle glitter-strewn faerie path cred.
July 29, 2010 at 3:59 pm
That guy must REALLY love the crafter to pose for these..
July 29, 2010 at 4:07 pm
Dear Mr Hasselhoff,
We have your son. Unless you comply with our demands we will subject him to shame and humiliation beyond imagination. to show how serious we are,we enclosed this picture. Do not try to find us. Do not contact the police. We will be in touch.
-the kidnappers
July 29, 2010 at 4:07 pm
I have seen that face before! http://www.redriderleglamps.ca/images/products/bunny2.jpg
@razberries When I first read your post I thought it said etsy meth. I think I need to step away from the computer for a bit.
July 29, 2010 at 4:09 pm
I doubt any vagina is worth this humiliation.
July 29, 2010 at 4:09 pm
Is the Seller’s name supposed to be a “cleverly” disguised form of “I’ve Been Farting”? That explains a lot.
July 29, 2010 at 4:12 pm
Ooooooooooooh, crap. It’s a girl whose shop name loosely translates to “I’ve been fartin’” He was probably scared NOT to do it. Has anyone founded a men’s shelter yet? Those poor boys… nowhere to turn…
July 29, 2010 at 4:18 pm
@#25 HelenaHandbasket-I’m thinking no street cred there either. I bet magickle glitter strewn fairies would take the wearing of this hoodie as an open invitation to punch him in the pancreas.
July 29, 2010 at 4:19 pm
He better be gettin’ at least a BJ outta having to wear that thing.
July 29, 2010 at 4:22 pm
There’s only one way to tell if he’s a real unicorn: have forensics check his sweatpants for rainbow jizz.
July 29, 2010 at 4:25 pm
#33 Orlana :
“He better be gettin’ at least a BJ outta having to wear that thing”
Thinking @ the kind of people who’d want to give him a BJ while he wears that outfit is why he has that look on his face.
July 29, 2010 at 4:32 pm
Everybody knows plush horns are the most effective horns.
July 29, 2010 at 4:33 pm
Hey everyone
buy this for your significant other – that way they will always be horny…
what a little too uni-corny?!
July 29, 2010 at 4:47 pm
Hey, this could have been far more humiliating. Thankfully his girlfriend let him put the Zima down before she took the picture.
July 29, 2010 at 4:51 pm
what I would really like – is to see him modeling whatever it is that’s laying on the picnic table
July 29, 2010 at 5:25 pm
#28 NO METH here at Regretsy . Sparkling glittery fairie poop -YES!!!
July 29, 2010 at 5:32 pm
Oh Skully, you beat me to the rainbow jizz thing.
July 29, 2010 at 5:32 pm
Your not get’n into the rodeo with THAT on!
July 29, 2010 at 5:35 pm
Someone’s dating a damn good sport.
July 29, 2010 at 5:45 pm
ok, who bought it???Come on fess up…
July 29, 2010 at 6:08 pm
Man, there’s nothing sadder than being that pussywhipped if you’re not actually getting the pussy.
This ranks right up there with dressing like Raggedy Andy.
July 29, 2010 at 6:32 pm
Three possible explanations:
1. He’s a furry and proud of it, and this is his profile pic on some emo furry site.
2. He hears voices who told him to do it.
3. He lost a bet.
July 29, 2010 at 6:37 pm
This after the neckscarf covered with pink penises? I do NOT like where this is heading.
July 29, 2010 at 6:44 pm
No…really…who bought it for their special guy??
July 29, 2010 at 6:50 pm
Is that a Juicy sweatshirt?
July 29, 2010 at 6:53 pm
I used to really like Colin Farrell, now I’m not so sure.
July 29, 2010 at 7:51 pm
Like many of you I thought that he was doing this to get laid.
But….. if you study the profile picture, that expression says: “I lost the bet”.
July 29, 2010 at 8:27 pm
Looks like an ice-cream cone full of blueberry spaghetti got dumped on his forehead. Wanh wanh waaaaaanh.
July 29, 2010 at 8:56 pm
The proper size of the red slice in this graph should have been: 0, no red at all, nada !!
July 29, 2010 at 9:26 pm
I like what appears to be a discarded one on the table. Did the other guy make a break for it?
July 29, 2010 at 9:48 pm
Can’t say I’m into the hoodie but the seller’s custom shoes are actually pretty nifty.
July 29, 2010 at 9:53 pm
Sorry – I saw this and laughed so hard I passed out. When I came to, there was a majestic unicorn standing over me with a magickle rainbow jizz halo around its head, saying, “You think you know what evil is? I’ll show you evil…”
July 29, 2010 at 10:54 pm
Bloody hell…who bought this trainwreck?
Helen/April, please tell me it was you and that you’re planning to wear it at next year’s Comic-Con!
July 29, 2010 at 11:10 pm
erm, I don’t like my men *quite* this horny…
July 29, 2010 at 11:23 pm
#41 Stretch65
Oh my did I suggest meth at Regretsy! Yikes, never! I was sort of thinking of the 80s commercial “this is your brains on drugs” and when I saw that post and pic something else entirely different popped into my mind. My apologies.
I still feel really bad for the guy wearing it. When going through old photos today I came across one of my son who had that same face when I was practicing with my new camera. Oddly that face looks really cute on a kid but pathetic on a grown man.
July 29, 2010 at 11:31 pm
It looks like those crazy frat boys are at it again.
July 30, 2010 at 12:22 am
OK, which one of you bastards bought this? I wonder if she can make me a custom one. I have someone that needs to pay back a dare.
July 30, 2010 at 2:21 am
“As he sat patiently for the picture, Steve was increasingly aware of the uncomplimentary stares of the other people enjoying the park.”
“It was then that Steve realized why the others didn’t let him join in their reindeer games…”
July 30, 2010 at 4:14 am
it sold! i wonder how you wash it…
July 30, 2010 at 6:45 am
“hey hun, let’s go for a walk in the park”
“ok…why do you need that bag?”
“don’t worry about it. Oh, can’t forget my camera”
.
.
.
“I made something for you – try it on so I can take a picture”
“…I hate you”
July 30, 2010 at 6:53 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
July 30, 2010 at 8:52 am
#62 STEVE huh. Really? He looks like a Steve? All STEVE’s look-alike? I had no idea there was a STEVE sterrotype. I now know how it feels to be Black.
http://tinyurl.com/2bdnpn9
July 30, 2010 at 9:00 am
Be careful when you wear this hoodie, because it’s going to be stained with your own blood once the playground bullies get through with you.
July 30, 2010 at 9:07 am
#67 …and rainbow jizz from the Unicorns in the Senior class.
July 30, 2010 at 10:36 am
Luckily she’s the matron in a halfway house and only had to promise this guy an extra pancake to get him to model. Cus I don’t know how else you’d talk anybody into modelling in this particularly AWESOME item.
July 30, 2010 at 10:45 am
Burning Man is next month… I bet those hippie-raver-artists see this on the Playa!
July 30, 2010 at 10:48 am
But it brings out the blue in his eyes!
July 30, 2010 at 11:13 am
@Stretch65-I’ve actually never met anybody named Steve. Weird now that I think about it.
July 30, 2010 at 11:23 am
Do I make you horny? Randy? Do I make you horny, baby, yeah, do I?
July 30, 2010 at 11:51 am
Rob Lowe used to think View From the Top was the low point of his career, until…
July 30, 2010 at 12:08 pm
This is fucking AWESOME!
If my husband were still alive, I would buy it for him then force him to wear it.
July 30, 2010 at 12:36 pm
I love costumes. I’ll do almost anything that allows me to wear a costume. But no way in Hell would I wear that.
July 30, 2010 at 1:03 pm
Had another look at her customized shoes and realized her work is actually kind of awesome. Their wild whimsy makes it a mere hop to construction of a crazy unicorn hoodie and casts the whole listing–including the painfully resigned expression on the model’s face–in a good-natured light.
July 30, 2010 at 1:32 pm
It’s a cute idea, but putting a pointy fabric spire on your head does not make you look like a unicorn, fuzzy ears not withstanding. Ask for the horn in orange, though, and you could be mistaken for a human traffic cone.
July 30, 2010 at 10:28 pm
the traditional way to kill a unicorn is to use a virgin as bait, not dress a virgin as one.
July 31, 2010 at 5:34 pm
This right here ladies is one pussy whipped man. All I can say is, she must be reeeeeeal good.
August 1, 2010 at 7:38 pm
You let my friends see you in that shit and you will be mistaken for a beat black and blue fucking unicorn.
August 2, 2010 at 7:08 am
My 4 year old niece just saw this and said ” What is THAT??!!”
me: ” It’s a hoddie with a unicorn horn. Do you want one?”
her: “No. I have brains.”
pretty much sums that one up.
September 2, 2010 at 10:42 am
Can’t believe he actually went and wore that in the park.
Looks like he really believes in unicorns, or fairies.
February 24, 2011 at 4:46 pm
http://www.etsy.com/transaction/19857288