must it be metal? would consider tupperware of any kind? i mean, they make everything, those guys.
do you feel that it’s because you are canadian? people’s urges to hit your pancreas, i mean.
i’m no doctor and really couldn’t tell ya where in the body the pancreas resides. i guess THAT would be good to know first.
Don’t fuck around wasting your time and money on protection.Just buy a new one from China when your old one gets knocked out. Spring for a Kidney or Liver while you are at it, start fresh.
I wonder if this is the start of gathering evidence to prove your nuts and get what ever Canada has as disability or some thing. If not I hope this person finds a pancreas puncher prior to arrival of this super sized belt buckle that they are after.
Perhaps the James Frey book, A Million Little Pieces? I know that was an Oprah Book Club recommendation. Maybe not the best title for protective pancreas armor. Maybe he’d be better off with a Taser Bookmark.
I got to wonder… how does this person KNOW that his pancreas is “about 13cm in length”. Is he guessing? Did he do an internal investigation of his own? Google?
How does one find out the length of their pancreas?
AreYouGoingToEatThatPickle
July 27, 2010 at 2:40 pm
LOL @#25 ISUS: Our Prime Minister was playing pocket pool with Bush for so long that a lot of the funding for health care was cut… so things like Kidney cozy’s and Pancreas armour, we have to pay for ourselves now!
Upon the discovery of this pancreas armor, oh Sir Robin the Not-Quite-So-Brave-As-Sir-Lancelot, would not the people performing this abuse instead decide to punch some unprotected organ? Like one of the kidneys, for example? Or perhaps a liver shot?
Getting Punched in the Pancreas is the leading cause of Type 3 Diabetes while the punched pancreas comes in at number two with Type I Cryabeetus.
Just ask Wilford Brimley.
Now you can even ask Alan Thicke.
I am very tempted to bid on this – send this guy an empty can of SpaghettiOs and a note saying instructions on how to install the armor will be an additional $500,000 American Dollars.
@#35VEDD-once again, great minds think alike. I only chose Pillars of the Earth because it’s set in medieval England. Waaaaa laaaaaa! Armor included in the book.
As a fellow Canadian, I hang my head in shame. :/ We have some real doozies up here. I believe he has had one too many Budwieser’s and perhaps some good ol’ fashioned BC Bud along with it. Though, I will keep my eyes open for Pancreas Armour Man roaming the streets and be sure to send pictures! Wowza – what a piece of cake…
So, I had my gall bladder removed, and I was wondering if you might be able to forge a steel one for me? Like surgical steel, that would be great. I don’t need it to replace the old one, no, I just need to throw it at the back of some guys head.
WHAAAAT??!! Do you think you get an open-stomach surgeon with that price, too???!!! That armour is impossible to put around your pancreas without splitting your tummy up.
And what sort of “individuals” are they that want to punch you in the pancreas? Surgeons? Other people (I guess) don´t even have a clue where pancreas lies.
#29 redredred :
“Upon the discovery of this pancreas armor, oh Sir Robin the Not-Quite-So-Brave-As-Sir-Lancelot, would not the people performing this abuse instead decide to punch some unprotected organ?”
His most unprotected organ seems to be his brain..
This sounds exactly like “Ted L. Nancy” of the Letters From A Nut books. The randomness, the obsessive specificity, the wandering off into odd details – it’s his style exactly.
July 27, 2010 at 1:32 pm
How about a helmet for safety and a short bus to get you around in? Armour for a pancreas?????
July 27, 2010 at 1:34 pm
I don’t even know this dude, and I already want to punch him in the pancreas.
July 27, 2010 at 1:35 pm
i, too, would like to punch this guy in the pancreas.
July 27, 2010 at 1:35 pm
If I make the armour…do I get first punch at your 13 inches????
July 27, 2010 at 1:36 pm
are you sure it’s your pancreas that people most want to punch?
July 27, 2010 at 1:36 pm
Buy a bullet proof vest and walk around with your helmet on in a bubble and nobody will ever get near enough to do anything to you.
July 27, 2010 at 1:37 pm
i’d say about $10.00 worth of bubble wrap should suffice.
July 27, 2010 at 1:38 pm
The gall of some people.
July 27, 2010 at 1:40 pm
must it be metal? would consider tupperware of any kind? i mean, they make everything, those guys.
do you feel that it’s because you are canadian? people’s urges to hit your pancreas, i mean.
i’m no doctor and really couldn’t tell ya where in the body the pancreas resides. i guess THAT would be good to know first.
i am fascinated by this mentality.
July 27, 2010 at 1:41 pm
#7, curlytopnola, I bet that would sound great too!
You’d want to punch him again and again….
July 27, 2010 at 1:41 pm
Could somebody knit me a kidney cozy?
July 27, 2010 at 1:42 pm
Don’t fuck around wasting your time and money on protection.Just buy a new one from China when your old one gets knocked out. Spring for a Kidney or Liver while you are at it, start fresh.
July 27, 2010 at 1:45 pm
the mind simply boggles
how does this person intend to put it on?
July 27, 2010 at 1:48 pm
Does seller think this will get through customs? And not earn him a CIA dossier?
I don’t often get to use the word dossier, so I went for it.
July 27, 2010 at 1:49 pm
This is so ridiculous I would pay him $10 to let me punch him in the pancreas.
@#11LeelooDallas – get me your kidney measurements and I’ll whip one up!
July 27, 2010 at 1:49 pm
I wonder if this is the start of gathering evidence to prove your nuts and get what ever Canada has as disability or some thing. If not I hope this person finds a pancreas puncher prior to arrival of this super sized belt buckle that they are after.
July 27, 2010 at 1:51 pm
Perhaps the James Frey book, A Million Little Pieces? I know that was an Oprah Book Club recommendation. Maybe not the best title for protective pancreas armor. Maybe he’d be better off with a Taser Bookmark.
July 27, 2010 at 1:52 pm
Why not just get rid of the pancreas altogether and get a metal one? Don’t go halfway, be a man, man!
I’m a chick and I’ve got a metal knee joint. I’m so badass that nobody knows what to do with me.
That’s right, I’m badass.
And steampunk.
July 27, 2010 at 1:52 pm
Knittin – you rock!
July 27, 2010 at 2:02 pm
Thanks Leeloodallas!
I did a little research on the pancreas and think the seller should just ducktape a trade paperback copy of The Pillars of the Earth to his abdomen.
July 27, 2010 at 2:06 pm
Whoa, buddy, 13 inches? Sorry, but I think you’re compensating.
July 27, 2010 at 2:09 pm
Once again, I feel obliged to point out that not all Canucks are Fucktards.
*hangs head in shame*
You believe me a little less every time I say it, don’t you?
July 27, 2010 at 2:11 pm
I got to wonder… how does this person KNOW that his pancreas is “about 13cm in length”. Is he guessing? Did he do an internal investigation of his own? Google?
How does one find out the length of their pancreas?
March 17, 2011 at 9:56 pm
In Canada, medical imaging is free
July 27, 2010 at 2:21 pm
So thats what Tony Howard meant by “demonised and vilified”.
July 27, 2010 at 2:22 pm
“Serious inquiries only”
Trust me dude; we are ALL serious when we inquire: WTF??
July 27, 2010 at 2:24 pm
This request made me grin like a ninny.
July 27, 2010 at 2:32 pm
Apparently, pancreas punchings slipped by Canada’s healthcare system
July 27, 2010 at 2:40 pm
LOL @#25 ISUS: Our Prime Minister was playing pocket pool with Bush for so long that a lot of the funding for health care was cut… so things like Kidney cozy’s and Pancreas armour, we have to pay for ourselves now!
July 27, 2010 at 2:44 pm
Upon the discovery of this pancreas armor, oh Sir Robin the Not-Quite-So-Brave-As-Sir-Lancelot, would not the people performing this abuse instead decide to punch some unprotected organ? Like one of the kidneys, for example? Or perhaps a liver shot?
July 27, 2010 at 3:01 pm
BRB. I’m wrapping a hardcover copy of The Road in foil and making a duct tape harness.
July 27, 2010 at 3:08 pm
#28 Vile & Evil Debbie Downer: The image of someone utilizing your device to protect their pancreas from imminent attack had me cracking up.
July 27, 2010 at 3:20 pm
This guy is obviously a Weird Al Yankovic fan…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BtsQxUYHXbw
July 27, 2010 at 3:38 pm
Getting Punched in the Pancreas is the leading cause of Type 3 Diabetes while the punched pancreas comes in at number two with Type I Cryabeetus.
Just ask Wilford Brimley.
Now you can even ask Alan Thicke.
July 27, 2010 at 3:51 pm
HAHAHA!! Sucker!
I guarantee you that this guy will stand proudly with his pancreas armor while he gets a swift kick in the nuts!
July 27, 2010 at 4:20 pm
Knittin-kitten, sorry! Didn’t mean to rip off your plan for the Pancreas Protector® Now with Duct Tape™ (Patent Pending).
July 27, 2010 at 4:37 pm
It reminds me of Encino Man, when Pauly Shore cries out, “Ouch, my pancreas!” There’s an underground market for these things.
July 27, 2010 at 4:40 pm
Is this the latest treatment for cryabetes? A metal cover for your pancreas?
July 27, 2010 at 4:41 pm
I am very tempted to bid on this – send this guy an empty can of SpaghettiOs and a note saying instructions on how to install the armor will be an additional $500,000 American Dollars.
July 27, 2010 at 4:53 pm
i thought one of the tags said amour.
July 27, 2010 at 5:07 pm
sorry, I only have slightly used ovary armour.
July 27, 2010 at 5:14 pm
@#35VEDD-once again, great minds think alike. I only chose Pillars of the Earth because it’s set in medieval England. Waaaaa laaaaaa! Armor included in the book.
July 27, 2010 at 5:14 pm
I believe protective devices of the sort he seeks are usually fashioned of tinfoil.
July 27, 2010 at 5:15 pm
*looking through my armor patterns*
Let’s see, Stomach, gallbladder, testicles, kidneys, Appendix, uvula…hmmm
Honey, did you move my Pancreas Armor Pattern AGAIN!”
July 27, 2010 at 5:17 pm
Well, I was going to comment on this request……..until I ran across this one: http://www.etsy.com/alchemy/request.php?id=238554
July 27, 2010 at 5:20 pm
“several individuals have indicated that they wish to punch me in the pancreas”
More likely what they ACTUALLY said was:
“I want to punch in your punk ass!”
July 27, 2010 at 5:21 pm
Since he knows how big his pancreas is, how about using The Measure of a Man by Sidney Poitier (2007 Oprah Book Club).
July 27, 2010 at 5:23 pm
As a fellow Canadian, I hang my head in shame. :/ We have some real doozies up here. I believe he has had one too many Budwieser’s and perhaps some good ol’ fashioned BC Bud along with it. Though, I will keep my eyes open for Pancreas Armour Man roaming the streets and be sure to send pictures! Wowza – what a piece of cake…
July 27, 2010 at 5:26 pm
Or:
As I Lay Dying by William Faulkner (maybe if the “armour” doesn’t get to him in time before the dreaded punching starts)
or:
Fall on Your Knees by Ann-Marie MacDonald (again probably more appropriate for after the punching)
July 27, 2010 at 5:28 pm
I will make you your pancreas armour and I will hand deliver it and punch you in your face. For $10.
July 27, 2010 at 5:36 pm
This guy is lucky. I grew up in the tough part of town.
The bullies wouldn’t bother with the pancreas.
They went straight for the duodenum.
July 27, 2010 at 5:50 pm
Now, I think this guy is having us on. It could even be a girl. It COULD be a Regretsy fan.
July 27, 2010 at 5:52 pm
#51 texastigerlily
You mean you really think that someone doesn’t need a pancreas protector?
July 27, 2010 at 6:32 pm
A pancreas protector is SO last season. For Fall you need a full suit of armor. Add a helmet for winter.
July 27, 2010 at 6:35 pm
I’m STILL so baffled, that I have yet to pick my jaw up off the floor.
July 27, 2010 at 7:06 pm
So, I had my gall bladder removed, and I was wondering if you might be able to forge a steel one for me? Like surgical steel, that would be great. I don’t need it to replace the old one, no, I just need to throw it at the back of some guys head.
July 27, 2010 at 8:50 pm
Dude, an actual book from Oprah’s book club would cost you more than $10. Cheap bastard.
July 27, 2010 at 9:29 pm
If a lot of people are threatening to punch you in the pancreas, chances are you deserve to be punched in the pancreas.
July 27, 2010 at 11:20 pm
Hey! I got a $10 solution.
STOP PISSING PEOPLE OFF!!!
It is a great way to protect yourself.
July 28, 2010 at 3:20 am
WHAAAAT??!! Do you think you get an open-stomach surgeon with that price, too???!!! That armour is impossible to put around your pancreas without splitting your tummy up.
And what sort of “individuals” are they that want to punch you in the pancreas? Surgeons? Other people (I guess) don´t even have a clue where pancreas lies.
July 28, 2010 at 3:41 am
Why not just punch him in the face instead?
July 29, 2010 at 10:57 am
#29 redredred :
“Upon the discovery of this pancreas armor, oh Sir Robin the Not-Quite-So-Brave-As-Sir-Lancelot, would not the people performing this abuse instead decide to punch some unprotected organ?”
His most unprotected organ seems to be his brain..
July 29, 2010 at 11:09 am
This is the best thing I’ve ever read.
July 29, 2010 at 11:28 am
This sounds exactly like “Ted L. Nancy” of the Letters From A Nut books. The randomness, the obsessive specificity, the wandering off into odd details – it’s his style exactly.
July 29, 2010 at 5:53 pm
Some people think their inside jokes are funny enough to translate into a variety of contexts.
Well, they aren’t. Ever.