3 Bad Edward Cullen Portraits
I don’t know who Robert Patterson is, but I bet this doesn’t look like him either.
Few people realized Edward Cullen had a lazy eye because they were distracted by his hay wig.
This is either Mario Lopez or that guy from CSI Miami.
July 22, 2010 at 9:36 am
oh my god- that one in the middle *does* look cross eyed. then again, in every portrait here, his eyes look wonky…
July 22, 2010 at 9:42 am
The one in the middle is all wrong. He’s missing the Jay Leno chin.
July 22, 2010 at 9:42 am
Is it still “Intellectual copyright” if the content does not reflect any actual intelligence?
July 22, 2010 at 9:44 am
I’m a professional illustrator, so regarding the first I just face palmed after I read “*This is for the drawing only and please remember that the intellectual copywright remains with the artist at all times.”
You mean you don’t want someone to buy the drawing and then copy it and sell it on mugs, t-shirts, and posters? Because the person who actually took the photo or shot the film from which this image was poached was probably thinking the same thing, just that their © was actually…
July 22, 2010 at 9:45 am
legal.
Ugh! “see’s”
Damn you, apostrophe s! Especially when you’re used incorrectly!
Isn’t there a grammar check on computers nowadays? Was this typed on a commodore 64?
July 22, 2010 at 9:48 am
Some of these are closer to BILL Cullen.
July 22, 2010 at 9:52 am
Why do they all have lazy eyes?
July 22, 2010 at 9:55 am
Hey, with the ACEO etsian — Artbybelle — has anyone checked out this gem: http://www.etsy.com/listing/45986280
It’s kind of weird, because it looks oddly human. I cannot stop giggling at it.
And seriously, does no one understand copyright law? If I buy the original — I own it, not you. You may have your copy, but my family may eventually sue yours, and we may all end up on a fabulous segment on Antique’s Roadshow someday.
July 22, 2010 at 9:56 am
At least the second one captured his mindless, dead-eyed, pout, even if the features don’t look like his.
The third one is just unrecognizable. Wow.
July 22, 2010 at 9:56 am
Honestly the first one is not so bad. It ain’t worth 130.00 but it ain’t bad. The last one looks more like the “Why is Keanu so sad?” thats been making the rounds.
But that one in the middle looks too much like Crispin Glover. And the eyes follow you. Creepy much???
The first one isn’t so bad if it’s a drawing of Robert Patterson. – HK
July 22, 2010 at 9:57 am
I sorta understand bad art of Cullen/Pattinson–because no good artist should waste their time.
July 22, 2010 at 9:59 am
My teenage daughters tell me that Robert Pattinson is actually quite ugly. Maybe these horrid portraits are doing him a favor.
July 22, 2010 at 9:59 am
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July 22, 2010 at 10:00 am
Wow, the Edward in the middle should have just said no to the blond tips. SO ten years ago.
July 22, 2010 at 10:00 am
isn’t buying a poster/picture with the *actual* robert pattison on it cheaper than the imitations anyways? i just don’t get it.
July 22, 2010 at 10:02 am
ok.
i’ve seen the first one before…only james dean was striking that pose
i’ve seen the second one before…it’s robert smith with blond hair
and the 3rd? yeah. i’ve never seen that guy before in my life…maybe it’s a police sketch
July 22, 2010 at 10:03 am
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July 22, 2010 at 10:07 am
I think they match Stephane’s writing to the letter. All 3 are as equally crappy as her writing.
July 22, 2010 at 10:08 am
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July 22, 2010 at 10:08 am
@ #15 enamy — a real photographic image of Robert Pattinson might lack the charm of a lazy eye, or somehow looking like someone other than Robert Pattinson, unless, of course he was wearing a mask…
http://www.regretsy.com/2009/10/30/secret-square/
July 22, 2010 at 10:11 am
I think the one in the center has two lazy eyes. How did Bella know he was looking at her? And he kinda just fades into a blob. Seriously, he looks like he’s been beaten and kidnapped for the portrait and is coming off of whatever drug they used to get him there, and has no idea what’s going on.
July 22, 2010 at 10:11 am
“Why do they all have lazy eyes?”
The lazy eye started with the artist.
July 22, 2010 at 10:16 am
So the top one looks the most accurate, except for the whole lazy eye thing… and the middle one reminds me of Guillermo Diaz’s character Dave in 200 Cigarettes… the last one I just can’t put my finger on who it reminds me of…
July 22, 2010 at 10:23 am
I can’t.stop.staring at this one. It’s like Brittany Murphy’s is in the Matrix, going all wobbly and preparing to morph into Agent Smith…
http://www.etsy.com/listing/49331672/original-drawing-of-brittany-murphy?ref=v1_other_2
July 22, 2010 at 10:24 am
EGADS!
July 22, 2010 at 10:26 am
“the first one is gawking at me and the third one is looking very droll.”
-knocked up (sorta)
July 22, 2010 at 10:26 am
All I see is a badly-drawn Kirk Cameron in the last one.
July 22, 2010 at 10:29 am
These are all still shots from the video A-Ha – Take On Me. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=djV11Xbc914&feature=PlayList&p=3F131D25530872CD&index=3
July 22, 2010 at 10:33 am
Listen, my parents are almost completely useless but they managed to get me the surgery to fix my fucking lazy eye. No one loved that vampire enough. Sparkle only distracts so much, bb.
July 22, 2010 at 10:37 am
July 22, 2010 at 10:51 am
#28 Recovering Crack Baby : I wish I could thumbs up you x infinity for mentioning the A-HA video!
July 22, 2010 at 10:54 am
That middle one is Vegeta.
July 22, 2010 at 10:54 am
Rest in peace, Andy Hallett.
Wait, these aren’t inspired by Lorne from Angel? Teenagers these days and their crappy vampire movies. Back in my day our vampires wore black leather jackets and didn’t go around glittering in daylight. Hmph.
July 22, 2010 at 10:56 am
#8 envy – purchase/posession of the original does NOT automatically include a license to reproduce and distribute/sell the reproductions. Those are separate things.
July 22, 2010 at 10:57 am
#23 SugarSunshine-I had to go get my copy of 200 Cigarettes and look when I read your comment. You’re right!
That first one reminds me of the Joker, the teen years.
July 22, 2010 at 10:59 am
Not one of these is sparkling. I am disappointed.
July 22, 2010 at 11:00 am
1)Badly drawn boy
2)Badly drawn boy
3)Badly drawn boy
July 22, 2010 at 11:02 am
I know a guy named Robert Patterson and he’s looks nothing like that drawing!
July 22, 2010 at 11:02 am
Aside from the poorly-done hair and the lazy eye, I genuinely really like the middle one. It looks more like young Elvis than that Twilight guy, but that’s not a bad thing in my book.
July 22, 2010 at 11:07 am
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July 22, 2010 at 11:07 am
What, no glitter? Come on, bust out the glitter glue!
July 22, 2010 at 11:08 am
Poop, Knittin you beat me to it.
July 22, 2010 at 11:14 am
Animal, Mineral, and Vegetable.
July 22, 2010 at 11:14 am
I refuse to belittle this young woman with facial deformities and mental disabilities.
July 22, 2010 at 11:15 am
Look, Gods Damn it, Cedric Diggory is DEAD. Voldemort killed him. Stop mutilating his corpse.
July 22, 2010 at 11:24 am
@sparklepire – great minds think alike!
I hate to say this but vampires were so much better in my day. None of this standing around sulking and sparkling.
July 22, 2010 at 11:40 am
#12 Billsbayou – You are to be congratulated for raising such discerning daughters.
July 22, 2010 at 11:44 am
I think that the second picture is trying to do the Edward hair from the books. I think the book had Edward’s hair as reddish.
The artist must have painted the movie Edward, get informed by the friend that “hey, Eddie’s supposed to have read hair”, then painted over the black hair with whatever paint they had that was closest to red.
July 22, 2010 at 12:18 pm
OK, I completely missed the lazy eye at first in the first piece. I think it’s a really good drawing. Not at all good enough to be sold as ‘fine art’ though.
But now that I see the wonky eye it’s really freaking me out! One eye is staring into my soul while the other is looking at the wall behind me, plotting his escape. (PS I like the books and movies…the movies are terrible, but entertaining – especially when you watch with Riff Trax! – http://www.rifftrax.com )
July 22, 2010 at 12:42 pm
No, it’s a drawing of the “teenager in town” from this song video, OMG!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k2PQP0pm3z0&feature=player_embedded
July 22, 2010 at 12:46 pm
#2 looks like Limahl from Kajagoogoo
Too shy shy, he’s got a lazy eye…
http://i985.photobucket.com/albums/ae338/grinreaper1965/Regretsy/twigoo.gif
July 22, 2010 at 12:53 pm
I like how the third one has a watermark. Because, you know, I was going to print out a few hundred and wallpaper my bedroom, but the damn watermark ruined my plans.
July 22, 2010 at 1:01 pm
Uh, that last one looks a little confused with James Dean. I guess Eddie could be described as Rebel Without a Cause…
July 22, 2010 at 1:03 pm
That last one is definitely the best drawing of James Van Der Beek I’ve seen in the last 5 years.
July 22, 2010 at 1:46 pm
There is no such thing as a GOOD portrait of this guy. He is just ugly.
July 22, 2010 at 1:49 pm
The first one is not that bad, for like a school project or something but definitely not worth the 130 price.
The second one..I like it. it’s bad, but it’s fun bad. it has nice bright colors and it makes me think of that time that guy from Twilight made a B movie about Andy Warhol and they couldn’t get the movie poster professionally made.
The last one is just awful and that guy that is not Edward Cullen has way too much product in his hair. It looks crunchy. Honestly I can’t get past…
July 22, 2010 at 1:59 pm
Three illustrations of one who can’t act done by those who can’t draw based on a series of novels by a woman who can’t write….
is anyone else worried that the talent vacuum here will eventually form a black hole and destroy the universe?
that scares the hell out of me.
July 22, 2010 at 2:41 pm
#57, Oh gee, that is very well said!
July 22, 2010 at 6:59 pm
@#57–Well at least it was snarked on by those who *can* snark.
July 22, 2010 at 9:18 pm
Say what?
July 23, 2010 at 8:05 pm
Well, I’m just excited that I’m not the only one with a copy of 200 Cigarettes!
July 26, 2010 at 6:28 am
Mrs Vagoo:….and yet again the World is Saved from certain peril and mediocrity…
Thanks Once more to Captain Snarkasmo and his faithful sidekick Snidely the Wonder Dog!
Tune in for the next thrill packed episode….