Beneath that innocuous looking little Pennsylvania Dutch plate lurks necrophelia , transvestitism, alchoholism and bad dental work. That last dance really was the last.
THE MAIN PHOTO SHOWS THE ONE THAT I MADE FOR COUSIN SCOTT (who I secretly had an incestuous crush on) AND HIS BRIDE,(that bitch)NICOLE (I hate her so much), BACK IN 1998.
I can still hear the song they played at her wedding reception…
You’re the spirit that haunts us,
Who makes us all flee,
You smell of fresh earth,
To mommy and me,
You’d smell better on ice,
We buried you twice,
And you’re Daddy’s little ghoul.
Going to the chapel
And they’re gonna get married
Though the bride’s decaying
And she should’ve been buried
Since Nicole ain’t moving
She will have to be carried
Going to the chapel of doom
It looks like a prop from that old show “Night Gallery” and Scott’s got six fingers on his left hand… I almost think this would be a cool thing to hang in a pub, sort of near the darts board.
I’m sure Nicole is a lovely woman & probably appealing,but thay must have played this dance song at the wedding: ‘Papa’s got a Brand New Bag to put over the new wifes head’ or ‘Papa’s got a Brand new hag…..
If you look at the before picture with the stencil, the drawing isn’t nearly as awful as the finished product. Should have just drawn on the wood plate with a sharpie.
@#38hamoza – I took the consanguinity of all parties involved as a given.
I once had an instructor in college tell the class that it was perfectly ok to marry a close relative such as a cousin or sibling. I kid you not. He was serious.
Hopefully, in the 12 years since she created this masterpiece, she found time to take a community college class or two in order to perfect whatever craft this is supposed to be.
How has no one noticed that Scott has no lower half to his body? Is he really just a torso or does the seller not know how to paint two legs and a penis? She could look around Etsy for penile instructions.
Dear sweet Nicole, lost her arm in the war and the other one grows out of her breast — she was lucky to nab a husband at all — thought Scott’s certainly no looker.
According to the seller, this plate is ornamental only and not suitable for serving food. Which means this plate has no purpose other than to disgust and horrify. Scott and Nicole: do NOT feel you have to be Greek to justify breaking this plate into a million pieces. With extreme prejudice.
If it’s any consolation to Scott and Nicole, my sister once received an extremely similar item as a 30th birthday gift from a “crafty” “friend”, however hers was done in felt tip pens, with a ton of misspellings… at least this “crafter” had the decency to use actual paint XD
I find it telling that she has the plate. Did they offer to give it back to her so she could sell more of these? I want them held accountable. Scott and Nicole, if you’re reading this.. how dare you? LOL
Helen Killer — you slay me!
I feel so passé, but I literally read the HK comment at the bottom and stared at the picture and burst into an unstoppable fit of laughter. I’m still laughing.
Thank you.
Does anyone else see pencil marks on the rim of the plate? I guess the artist was so pleased with his work he forgot to erase his centering lines. The whole shop is scary, but this one is particularly horrifying: http://www.etsy.com/listing/16191151/clown-around
FEATURING A “NATIVE AMERICAN CITY”, AND THE “BELIEFS OF THAT CITY”, THIS LARGE OVAL BASSWOOD,WITH BARK ATTACHED, MEASURES A WHOPPING 10 ” X 16″ X .075″ AND COMES WITH A HEAVY DUTY HANGER TO HANG IN YOUR DEN, CABIN, OR GREAT ROOM!
Ah yes, the “Native American City” and its belief in . . . wolves.
July 21, 2010 at 1:34 pm
The commemorative wedding plate of Dorian Gray.
July 21, 2010 at 1:36 pm
Zombie Wedding! Interesting marketing ploy.
July 21, 2010 at 1:36 pm
Must have been some kind of flesh eating disease that killed her since it ate Scott’s nose too.
I love how “She” is so shriveled looking, she has a shrunken hand.
July 21, 2010 at 1:38 pm
Beneath that innocuous looking little Pennsylvania Dutch plate lurks necrophelia , transvestitism, alchoholism and bad dental work. That last dance really was the last.
July 21, 2010 at 1:38 pm
And Nicole said “You can either throw it out or give it back”
July 21, 2010 at 1:38 pm
The “artist” doesn’t seem to have liked Nicole much.
July 21, 2010 at 1:39 pm
You mean 1898.
July 21, 2010 at 1:40 pm
I hope the poor amputees are still married.
July 21, 2010 at 1:40 pm
The hearts say country, but the font says headstone to me.
July 21, 2010 at 1:40 pm
Nicole and Scott must have made such a polite fuss about it that the seller thought she could market them.
Nicole and Scott should think about going into acting.
July 21, 2010 at 1:41 pm
I didn’t realize Skeletor had registered at Etsy.
Or that he’d be wearing the dress and veil,for that matter.
July 21, 2010 at 1:45 pm
I wonder if they followed tradition and got married in Nicole’s hometown, or Scott’s on the Planet of the Apes?
July 21, 2010 at 1:46 pm
I shudder to think how poor Nicole would look on a golden anniversary plate.
July 21, 2010 at 1:46 pm
THE MAIN PHOTO SHOWS THE ONE THAT I MADE FOR COUSIN SCOTT (who I secretly had an incestuous crush on) AND HIS BRIDE,(that bitch)NICOLE (I hate her so much), BACK IN 1998.
July 21, 2010 at 1:46 pm
It looks like the ghost couple from Beetlejuice.
July 21, 2010 at 1:47 pm
I can still hear the song they played at her wedding reception…
You’re the spirit that haunts us,
Who makes us all flee,
You smell of fresh earth,
To mommy and me,
You’d smell better on ice,
We buried you twice,
And you’re Daddy’s little ghoul.
July 21, 2010 at 1:51 pm
is pyrographed similar to prison tattooing?
July 21, 2010 at 1:54 pm
I think Scott is part flounder. His face is definitely moving to the left side of his head.
July 21, 2010 at 1:54 pm
I’m glad Miss Havisham finally got her wedding banquet, although at $21.50, I’d say the artist has some Great Expectations of her own.
July 21, 2010 at 1:54 pm
#16 coolpauper, Pyrographed means he still has his word burning stylus from childhood.
http://toolmonger.com/2007/02/03/finds-wood-burning-kit/
July 21, 2010 at 1:57 pm
Oh, I see. I thought it was scratched with a nail and rubbed with india ink.
July 21, 2010 at 2:00 pm
Confirms what I’ve always thought, marriage DOES suck the life out of you.
July 21, 2010 at 2:00 pm
SPOILER ALERT: Scott is actually from FUTURE EARTH.
July 21, 2010 at 2:01 pm
Going to the chapel
And they’re gonna get married
Though the bride’s decaying
And she should’ve been buried
Since Nicole ain’t moving
She will have to be carried
Going to the chapel of doom
July 21, 2010 at 2:02 pm
He can levitate his wineglass but couldn’t levitate his nose back into place?
July 21, 2010 at 2:05 pm
Reminds me of the Peter, Paul, and Mary song:
If I had a cadaver
I could-have-her in the morning…
July 21, 2010 at 2:07 pm
A husband loses his wife in boating accident. Cops show up two days later.
The cop says “Mr. Smith we have bad, good, and great news.”
The husband says “Bad news first, I guess.”
“The Bad news is, we found your wife in the bayou.”
The husband hangs his head, “And the good news?”
“The good news is we found 2 dozen blue crabs on her; you get half the catch.”
The husband is shocked “Not bad, but what’s the great news?”
The cop says “The great news is, we’re…
July 21, 2010 at 2:07 pm
The cop says “The good news is we’re pulling her up again tomorrow!”
July 21, 2010 at 2:12 pm
Introducing the first in a series of limited edition collector’s plates based on Tim Burton’s “Corpse Bride”.
July 21, 2010 at 2:13 pm
It looks like a prop from that old show “Night Gallery” and Scott’s got six fingers on his left hand… I almost think this would be a cool thing to hang in a pub, sort of near the darts board.
July 21, 2010 at 2:13 pm
Nicole and Scott had a lovely wedding immediately followed by a reception at the adjoining church hall. The guests were delicious.
July 21, 2010 at 2:14 pm
What scares me the most is the “artist” actually thinks that this is good.
July 21, 2010 at 2:15 pm
I’m sure Nicole is a lovely woman & probably appealing,but thay must have played this dance song at the wedding: ‘Papa’s got a Brand New Bag to put over the new wifes head’ or ‘Papa’s got a Brand new hag…..
July 21, 2010 at 2:25 pm
nicole’s maiden name was cryptkeeper. and scott’s people all come from the planet of the apes….
can’t wait for the kiddos.
July 21, 2010 at 2:43 pm
Why does no one else seem to be concerned that zombie Nicole ate all but Scott’s ape head and magic glass levitating arm?????
July 21, 2010 at 2:43 pm
If you look at the before picture with the stencil, the drawing isn’t nearly as awful as the finished product. Should have just drawn on the wood plate with a sharpie.
July 21, 2010 at 2:46 pm
The Dried Bride and the Groom Baboon
July 21, 2010 at 2:49 pm
Maybe ‘cousin Scott’ and Nicole should read ‘cousin Scott & his cousin Nicole were wed………
July 21, 2010 at 2:51 pm
WHY IS THE SELLER YELLING AT US!?
Oh, he must have found out that I’m hard of hearing. Well, bless his little corpse-lovin’ heart.
July 21, 2010 at 2:56 pm
Corpse Bride… >.<"
July 21, 2010 at 3:03 pm
@#38hamoza – I took the consanguinity of all parties involved as a given.
I once had an instructor in college tell the class that it was perfectly ok to marry a close relative such as a cousin or sibling. I kid you not. He was serious.
July 21, 2010 at 3:03 pm
Hopefully, in the 12 years since she created this masterpiece, she found time to take a community college class or two in order to perfect whatever craft this is supposed to be.
July 21, 2010 at 3:11 pm
yes to the planet of the apes and cryptkeeper/zombie references, all
what are thoes blue blobs? pieces of scott that zombie nicole chewed off?
July 21, 2010 at 3:19 pm
Don’t be ridiculous, razberries, no zombie would leave that much delicious, delicious human lying around.
July 21, 2010 at 3:25 pm
Hey, now — zombies deserve the right to marry, too! Just don’t give them this crap for a gift; no one deserves that.
July 21, 2010 at 3:31 pm
I find this offensive on so many levels:
http://www.etsy.com/listing/21817863/always-make-peace-salereduced
I also “worry” about “sellers” who like to TYPE IN MOSTLY CAPS and “put quote around” random things.
July 21, 2010 at 3:46 pm
#46 lemon floor wax – pssst!
The seller is from Cleveland.
They even yell when they type in Cleveland.
July 21, 2010 at 4:02 pm
Scott and Nicole had better watch their backs: http://www.etsy.com/listing/15978103/howling-halloween?ref=v1_other_2
July 21, 2010 at 4:04 pm
If you want to be happy for the rest of your life…
July 21, 2010 at 4:05 pm
Post Apocalyptic chic. It’s what all the wedding planners are doing these days.
July 21, 2010 at 4:29 pm
If’n you like Post-Apocalyptic zombie horror, I recommend Wayne Simmons (“FLU” and “Drop Dead Gorgeous”).
If you want to root for the zombies to gain rights as Zombie Americans, check out S.G. Browne’s “Breathers, a Zombie’s Lament”…
No, I don’t get anything from this plug… I just really like those books.
July 21, 2010 at 4:33 pm
How has no one noticed that Scott has no lower half to his body? Is he really just a torso or does the seller not know how to paint two legs and a penis? She could look around Etsy for penile instructions.
July 21, 2010 at 4:37 pm
Dear sweet Nicole, lost her arm in the war and the other one grows out of her breast — she was lucky to nab a husband at all — thought Scott’s certainly no looker.
July 21, 2010 at 5:22 pm
Maybe Nicole is really a cougar!
July 21, 2010 at 5:55 pm
Nobody appreciates the classics anymore – that’s Pip and
Miss Havisham!
July 21, 2010 at 6:24 pm
@Patty – I loved Drop Dead Gorgeous!
July 21, 2010 at 7:53 pm
This is so creepy I went and turned on my light.
July 21, 2010 at 9:30 pm
According to the seller, this plate is ornamental only and not suitable for serving food. Which means this plate has no purpose other than to disgust and horrify. Scott and Nicole: do NOT feel you have to be Greek to justify breaking this plate into a million pieces. With extreme prejudice.
July 22, 2010 at 12:02 am
I wish I knew someone who was getting married. =D
July 22, 2010 at 1:53 am
If it’s any consolation to Scott and Nicole, my sister once received an extremely similar item as a 30th birthday gift from a “crafty” “friend”, however hers was done in felt tip pens, with a ton of misspellings… at least this “crafter” had the decency to use actual paint XD
July 22, 2010 at 2:54 am
I find it telling that she has the plate. Did they offer to give it back to her so she could sell more of these? I want them held accountable. Scott and Nicole, if you’re reading this.. how dare you? LOL
July 22, 2010 at 5:54 am
The grave’s a fine and private place, but none, I think, do there embrace…
July 22, 2010 at 9:20 am
Helen Killer — you slay me!
I feel so passé, but I literally read the HK comment at the bottom and stared at the picture and burst into an unstoppable fit of laughter. I’m still laughing.
Thank you.
July 22, 2010 at 11:03 am
“It’s a Dead Man’s wedding
who could ask for more
Everybody come and leave your right arm at the Door”
(bride sings)
“Don’t run away its only me”
July 22, 2010 at 11:11 am
and PYROGRAPHED? Yes this item deserves to be destroyed by fire!!!
July 22, 2010 at 11:35 am
Does anyone else see pencil marks on the rim of the plate? I guess the artist was so pleased with his work he forgot to erase his centering lines. The whole shop is scary, but this one is particularly horrifying: http://www.etsy.com/listing/16191151/clown-around
July 22, 2010 at 1:48 pm
Nicole and Scott look like Adam and Barbara on their (second) wedding night from Beetlejuice.
July 22, 2010 at 7:41 pm
This is why you should always register.
July 23, 2010 at 11:51 pm
I see how it is. Blame it on the woman. I notice that a lot of comments are saying she… the “artist” is a he. It is a wife/husband shop.
Poor wife
She has to deal with this in her living room.
And this.
http://www.etsy.com/listing/23438142/native-american-reduced-sale
July 25, 2010 at 10:26 am
Scott and Nicole probably never looked better.
September 4, 2010 at 11:31 am
http://www.etsy.com/listing/53711265/heritage-and-honors
FEATURING A “NATIVE AMERICAN CITY”, AND THE “BELIEFS OF THAT CITY”, THIS LARGE OVAL BASSWOOD,WITH BARK ATTACHED, MEASURES A WHOPPING 10 ” X 16″ X .075″ AND COMES WITH A HEAVY DUTY HANGER TO HANG IN YOUR DEN, CABIN, OR GREAT ROOM!
Ah yes, the “Native American City” and its belief in . . . wolves.
February 7, 2011 at 6:19 pm
omg, the tin man has married the scarecrow