The front looks like a worn out vagina and the back looks like a raw anus.
(I once made a therapist drop her pen during one of our sessions. )
Put down the weed at turn off the Temple of Doom.
Are you planning on putting out a Crystal Skull coat next?
“Kali Ma, called the ‘Dark Mother,’ is the Hindu goddess of creation, preservation, and destruction. She is especially known in her Destroyer aspect, squatting over her dead consort, Shiva, devouring his entrails while her yoni sexually devours his lingam, penis. Kali, in this aspect is said to be ‘The hungry earth, which devours its own children and fattens on their corpses…’”
The women who “used” this coat? What the hell did they use it for?
And semen. Don’t forget it also smells like semen.
Can I pull out someone’s heart while I’m wearing this? If not I’m not interested.
Technicolor dreamcoat it aint.
Woo woo schmata it is.
I, too, have heard stories of the Thugee coat.
It frightens me like finding an old box of baking soda in the back of the fridge. You don’t remember when you bought that, but the logo is an out-of-date style and you’re afraid to touch it with your bare hands.
The back of this nightmare , which looks like a bloody open wound, is the perfect target for a hungry bear or wolf to find you in the woods.
And a strong pachouli smell that bleach won’t even solve.
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
I’ll bet the same communal bunch of broads share their cloth menstrual pads with each other….
It looks like the Kool-Aid the cult of Kali-Ma was supposed to drink (when the big washing machine in the sky finally came) made the pink parts on this robe.
Wow! They found Squeaky Fromme’s prom dress!
What does she mean by “cleanse and bless this coat” exactly?
AND you are so NOT supposed to sell stuff like this, that is if it is what she claims it to be anyway.
The black hole symbolizes a void in both judgement and style. The pattern and cut represent the tumultuous relationship between high self-esteem and low self-awareness.
It’s a witch slanket! Perfect for wearing while watching your favorite occult movies! Voo do do do DO!
It’s a self-goatse coatse pattern on the back.
It looks like it’s made from some kind of rug or drapes!!
The back of this thing is perfect for a photoshop opportunity don’t you think??
$690.00 for a used – very, very used – velveteen muumuu? no thank you.
all because you hefted it up and realized that you didn’t “energetically” own it anymore?
you give up too easy.
This is what you wear 3 days after giving birth and you’re cooking the placenta for your “best friends” to enjoy:
OH JESUS DO NOT CLICK THAT LINK – HK
Why oh why didn’t I listen to HK and NOT click that link?!? *gagging*
Oh, she’s from Vermont. Big surprise.
I clicked on her site and at first glance I thought her location was Vomit.
The overall permeating odor is the stench of New Age Pseudo-spiritual hogwash. And weed. Lots of weed.
Looks like a giant spliff burn on the back – can’t imagine how on earth that could have got there
“Recently, I was quite surprised to heft this coat up into my arms (it’s really heavy) only to find that I no longer energetically ‘own’ it.”
Also what Grandma felt after you “hefted” her sofa for your MFA work.
Oh no and woe, I didn’t heed and clicked the link.
shoulda listened to HK…shoulda listened to HK…shoulda listened to HK…shoulda listened to HK…shoulda listened to HK…shoulda listened to HK…shoulda listened to HK…shoulda listened to HK…shoulda listened to HK…shoulda listened to HK…shoulda listened to HK…shoulda listened to HK…shoulda listened to HK…shoulda listened to HK…shoulda listened to HK…shoulda listened to HK…shoulda listened to HK…shoulda listened to HK…
The placenta link that is.
don’t click the link.
I clicked the link!!!!! arggggggggghhhhhhh
If this overhyped mumu is truly spiritual and she no longer energetically owns it -bwa hahahahah-the right thing to do , in the realm of the ga-ga spirit world, would be to GIVE it to someone who needs the ‘energy’, right?
Ok, telling people NOT TO DO SOMETHING actually works in reverse. I’ll never eat egg noodles again.
COVER YOUR HEART!!!!!!
Hand it down to the next in line and NEVER use something like this for profit.
Jeezus H. Christ!
Do. Not. Click. On. The. Link
One of my sisters worked at a hospital where a new mom, after viewing the afterbirth, asked “what’s that?”. They said it was the placenta and she said she liked the name and decided to name her daughter Placenta. I don’t know what is worse- your link of recipes or knowing that a child was named Placenta.
i can’t un-see that
@#14 – I think you are right. I’ve heard of people gifting things like this to someone but I’ve never heard of anyone selling something like this after it has been used. I’m totally confused by this.
I don’t want to eat anything that comes out of anyone’s vagina.
I clicked the link before HK put her warning there. I died a little inside.
#37- Wilma: That sounded too much like a UL for me to ignore- and its on the list: http://www.snopes.com/racial/language/names.asp (not saying it didn’t happen, just that its on the list)
I’ve got links to videos, too. If you want them.
The thought of the high priest, Mola Ram, from Temple of Doom holding the heart made me think “What kind of New Age bullshit ritual would involve what sort of organ meat?”
Placenta shamenta, it looks like any other bloody butchered animal part that people eat every day.
All that BS really means it smells like jizz, weed, and BO–right?
Kali doesn’t care what you wear or what you sell. She will fuck you, devour your entrails and then give birth to you, and there’s not a damn robe that will save you.
@#20 BillsBayou: AWESOME, thanks for the link (Olive Garden’s gonna be pissed that you’re sharing their recipes)! When’s your birthday? I’d like to make you an afterbirth-day cake.
Turn it around and it’s a hippie dippy snuggie.
Ack – direct link this time
@#41 Patty- great link. Confirmed some of what I’d heard in the past.
oh, and I have heeded the warning and have NOT clicked the other link… this makes me a wuss, doesn’t it.
If SO many womyn have worn this theater curtain, then why is a man modeling it?
Yeah, I swear that’s a dude. Jame Gumb is in that robe.
Did anyone else notice the link on the photo?
“this is where I write about how the act of making a garment to be worn for celebration is an act of service to life and love… truly a prayer, handmade.”
what *does* she do in her act of making a garment? i don’t wanna know!
ps- I am about to click the link (I’m scared)
For $690, that skanky muumuu better shoot purple paint out of the sphincter on the back.
Proud to say that I did not click that link.
Ashamed to say that I saw the coat, saw “Kali Ma,” saw the model, and thought, “OH MY GOD, that’s [this guy I'm really good friends with who worships at a Kali temple in Laguna Beach].” Turns out not to be him on inspecting the glamour close-up, but my heart almost stopped anyway.
I just called my daughter to warn her about the link — which she of course promptly clicked — and her response? “I was just going to cook Stroganoff!”
Didn’t know you were running a diet website, did you, HK?
I’m just excited that it has a hood. Last week as I stood at the edge of an escarpment about to offer my menstrual blood back to Mother Earth I found that my ears were a bit on the frosty side. I promised myself then and there that the next $600+ ritual vagina robe I bought would be more climate appropriate. Like this one.
by reading between the lines, I get the impression that the “communal energy” would be interrupted if any undergarments were worn under the coat.
So, on the purple coat, the “couture details” don’t include the sleeve hem? http://ny-image3.etsy.com/il_fullxfull.135574915.jpg
I am shocked. SHOCKED that she would risk the wrath of the goddess Couture.
The web page for this person states that after on of the rituals that gave this coat its “charge” “Linda, the woman wearing the coat in the photos became joyfully pregnant after that dance!” So I think the sperm may have been a good guess.
#41 Patty I have a friend who works processing social services stuff for kids who occasionally turns up with bizarre names. Hell, look in the white pages, you can find those names in there!
@#50 VEDD: I thought the same thing.
I’ll bet this smells like the YMCA
I’ll bet this smells like the YMCA…
I looked through the nearest university’s booklet to find a holistic horseshit course 101 I could attend but couldn’t find any. Could you tell us April where you learned to translate this gibberish? I’m envious.
@#40–Technically, any mammal meat comes out of a vagina. Depending on how strict you want to be with it, that would rule out poultry too, since a fertilized egg has to come out of the chicken’s cloaca, which is like a vagina and anus put together.
Why is there no cloaca crafts on etsy? Vaginas are so last month.
All these placenta recipes make me feel like a fool, because I just threw away two perfectly good placentas. I could have eaten them and gotten extra life force…or…
I am sensing the presence of reusable bamboo panty liners maybe some with sexy vampires on them used by the Seller and her model
Is the model male, female, or elf?
What the FUCK was all that blather?! Seriously. I went to the website, because I couldn’t make heads or tails out of the Etsy listing, and quelle surprise, I couldn’t make heads or tails out of any of that yammer there either.
Suffice it to say that I think I’ll survive just fine without this pit-stained reeking mess of tie dye, thanks.
for that kind of money, it should come with a necklace of skulls.
And yeah, you’re not supposed to sell magickal items. Unless you’re playing dungeons and dragons. you’re supposed to get the one coven sister that knows how to use a sewing machine to make it for you. for free.
$700 for this!?!?
Not even a carpetbagger on an acid trip would wear this crap.
Skully – the new name is just Y (announced last week). Wedding receptions will be alot shorter now.
I have more self control than I thought – still haven’t clicked on the link.
“Several women have used it and it has indeed gathered the energies and stories of many wonderful and strong passionate women.”
Around here we call “energies” bed bugs.
#41 Patty, I worked at our health department for seven years. I came across baby names like Chlamidya, Syphilis, and anemia among other names that would eventually be embarrassing once these kids grew up. Sorry to say that I never saw a kid named Placenta. My loss!
Is this like sumo wrestlers’ diapers, gathering energy after every match/ritual and never desecrated by soap or water?
Add some giant shoes and a funny hat, and you’ve got Cirque du Soleil!
I clicked the link. I am now a non-placentatarian.
My favorite name (thanks to my friend, the home visit nurse) was Heaven Cox. Her middle name was Leigh. “Thanks for starting me on the stripper career, Mom. Without your encouragement, I never would have done the three-way on stage!”
I’ve clicked some links in my time, and survived intact, if a bit chastened. lemonparty, goatse; well, you know the drill.
But I clicked on this link, today – and when I woke up, I was on the floor in a fetal position and the dogs were licking my face worriedly.
Seriously, people, I’m going to have to put my therapist on speed dial.
I am proud to say that I followed HK’s advice and did not click on the link. Unfortunately I went to the seller’s website. I am now more confused than ever.
I know better than to click links, after purple paint shooting asshole and human centipede (2 things I could have gone happily to my grave without ever knowing what they were). I didn’t click the link, however I have eaten both cow and chicken liver, and I saw the placenta from my my own initiation into motherhood. I wasn’t offered the thing at the hospital, but if I were, I’d be putting it up on Etsy for sale, for sure…
she’s working on a “steampunkish” (her words not mine) red taffeta wedding dress.
in case you’re wondering, she doesn’t have a name for it yet.
I’ve a question now.
Is Adam Lambert modeling it??
#58 mnemonides & #70 twatsupcock :
I live in the town in Wisconsin where there was a girl named Marijuana Pepsi-Cola. I didn’t live here when she was here and in high school (she’s a few years older than I am anyway). But I know people who went to school with her.
the guy modeling that coat looks exactly like a guy I used to know. I am unable to grok that the model is a woman.
So. If you haven’t clicked on the link…. aren’t you a little curious? Hmmmmm?
Thanks to BillsBayou for the memories.
If you haven’t clicked on it you don’t have to …. but you are going to do it anyway. So here it is:
I will always, ALWAYS, associate Kali-Ma with that heart removal scene from Temple of Doom. I honestly looked at this listing and thought, “Was the high priest really wearing something that ugly? Even blood gods have standards.”
I have been lurking since May and I can’t stand it anymore.
I bet the washing instructions say- you have to fuck a shaman on top of the washer as it is running.
@Chaosrules-Bwahahahahahha! Glad you ‘came out’ .
Thanks-all of you are so freaking clever and funny -I had to work my way up to it.
To be fair, some of her dresses are very nice.
And it’s gone – I just tried to click the link and it is not listed anymore. :/ Oh well, I got the jist of it from her webpage.
@Chaosrules: I am in awe of those here too! You all are so witty – I am envious!
For those of you who chickened out on The Link (delicious recipes, BTW), here’s some tame fuckery. Well tame-ER. Ok, it’s kind of horrible:
You know it has to be bad when someone with a name like Vile & Evil Debbie Downer says it is “kind of horrible”.
BAD VEDD,very bad girl!Did you have it with a nice marinara or was it a cream sauce?
What I don’t get -how is is that humans eat chicken butt, bull test1cles, pigs feet, lamb tongues, beef hearts,sparrow saliva, blood sausage &cow brains no less- then get freaked out about a little human placenta?
If a trendy restaurant offered (awful offal)animal placenta , poached in wine , I bet the foodies would be all over it .
“Didn’t energetically ‘own’ it anymore” = “Rent’s coming up and I never wear this stupid thing anymore anyway.”
And when you’re done being mystical, the robe also doubles as a furniture slipcover!
it’s nice to see ikea is coming out with a clothing line that doubles as slipcovers for my Ektorp.
OMG… I think my mother had something like this and the translation is spot on!
nothing like the bo and clove combo to bring back some ” fond” memories!
a friend’s partner kept her placenta and buried it under a rosemary bush on their property.
I’m running out of excuses for dinner invites.
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