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Sneaker Pimps

Posted by Helen Killer

64 comments

$40?? The guy who lives in the refrigerator box behind Target has a pair just like this, and he’ll give them to you for a cigarette.

Filed in Garbage, Shoes 64 comments

64 Comments

Add Comment

Jul 15, 2010
4:35 pm

#1 Orlana :

I wouldn’t even pay $40 for them intact. They are USED SHOES.

Rate this comment: +40

Jul 15, 2010
4:35 pm

#2 Woody :

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

Rate this comment: -4

Jul 15, 2010
4:36 pm

#3 Cineaste :

For Fuck’s Sake, can this open-toed bootie trend please die already?

Oh, and what’s the point of those poor Chuck Taylor’s being maimed like this?

Rate this comment: +62

Jul 15, 2010
4:37 pm

#4 supertamsf :

“Custom-made” to fit dirty elephant cankles

Rate this comment: +11

Jul 15, 2010
4:37 pm

#5 IscreamUscream :

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

Rate this comment: -4

Jul 15, 2010
4:38 pm

#6 Karen Miller :

@ Woody – I concur. That is a MAN!

Rate this comment: -1

Jul 15, 2010
4:40 pm

#7 knittin-kitten :

Maybe taking a picture of your filthy feet in the customized shoes you are trying to sell is not the best idea.

Rate this comment: +49

Jul 15, 2010
4:42 pm

#8 supertamsf :

Caveman in Converse

Rate this comment: +14

Jul 15, 2010
4:42 pm

#9 Skully :

Upchuck Taylors.

Rate this comment: +168

Jul 15, 2010
4:42 pm

#10 VagtasticSteampunkSPRHRO :

Hobo-punk.

Rate this comment: +36

Jul 15, 2010
4:44 pm

#11 VagtasticSteampunkSPRHRO :

And, those don’t look like they even fit. They look dirty, and those laces look like you got them out of the hot topic dumpster.

Rate this comment: +42

Jul 15, 2010
4:48 pm

#12 MonstersFromTheID :

I like the description of one of his other items, “Happy Fortune Cookie Necklace”:

“Good luck, in plastic and rubber.”

That could be the next ad campaign for Trojans

Rate this comment: +73

Jul 15, 2010
4:48 pm

#13 hallospaceboy :

I can’t think of anything worse than wearing Chucks without socks.

…Wait, yes I can. These. Those shoes are pretty expensive to start with! Whyyyyyy :<

Rate this comment: +10

Jul 15, 2010
4:49 pm

#14 knittin-kitten :

Unless there’s someone on Etsy with a fetish for old tennis shoes I’m pretty sure these won’t sell.

Rate this comment: +5

Jul 15, 2010
4:51 pm

#15 hamoza :

‘Studding optional’ Pass on that , K?

Please keep that filthy stud locked up in a barn , bound in duct tape or whatever it takes to ‘keep it together’ and away from us.

Rate this comment: +8

Jul 15, 2010
4:55 pm

#16 WhimsyMistress :

*sigh*. I saw that pic and thought “How the hell did someone get a picture of my cankles to photoshop into these horrific used shoes?”

Rate this comment: +7

Jul 15, 2010
4:56 pm

#17 studiorose :

I’d like to hear more about the studding, please. Will the stud still do his job if you have really ugly feet? How much is the stud fee?

Rate this comment: +28

Jul 15, 2010
4:56 pm

#18 nickiefrye :

Yeah, no.

Rate this comment: +2

Jul 15, 2010
4:56 pm

#19 nitebyrd :

Joey, Johnny and DeeDee are rolling in their graves.

Rate this comment: +32

Jul 15, 2010
4:57 pm

#20 dcoyote :

Well, I’ll add these to the list of shoes that need to be doused in gasoline and set on fire, right before crocs. Also, does this person not was his/her feet? They look dirty to me.

Rate this comment: +12

Jul 15, 2010
5:07 pm

#21 VikingKvinna :

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

Rate this comment: -38

Jul 15, 2010
5:12 pm

#22 Stretch65 :

THINKING OF: USED SHOE REVIEW (barefoot edition) {shudder}

Rate this comment: +6

Jul 15, 2010
5:14 pm

#23 razberries :

Her feet look ready to bust out of them like the Incredible Hulk

Rate this comment: +26

Jul 15, 2010
5:16 pm

#24 KittyPrawn :

He should have went all the way with laces that tie around the ankle, obviously. Then he could also call it part of the gladiator sandal trend!

(I refuse to acknowledge that this is a woman. Any woman would know to shave before taking pictures of pasty white legs.)

Rate this comment: +12

Jul 15, 2010
5:18 pm

#25 leftfoot :

Pot heads shouldn’t play with scissors.

Rate this comment: +29

Jul 15, 2010
5:30 pm

#26 Mistletoe :

Really? Just… REALLY?!

Custom-made? Buying something and hacking the fuck out of it is not “custom”.

Rate this comment: +8

Jul 15, 2010
5:40 pm

#27 Patty actually IS Steampunk! :

My gut reaction was: “Look what they did to a perfectly good pair of Chucks!”

Then: Tom Hanks did the same thing with the shoes he got off the dead guy in “Cast Away”.

And the price brought this: By the way, I paid $40 for a brand new pair, never been worn. They still reeked of that new shoe smell and the sweat of the children who made them at the factory.

Rate this comment: +16

Jul 15, 2010
6:06 pm

#28 jojo :

I like my chucks “uncut”.

Rate this comment: +30

Jul 15, 2010
6:16 pm

#29 HelenaHandbasket :

In this one instance, I think I prefer he’d have stuck his dick in it.

Rate this comment: +27

Jul 15, 2010
6:17 pm

#30 Koorime :

It looks like she melted off the rubber part that is connected to the tongue. Lazy bitch.

I pay 40 dollars for some destroyed shoes you got at some thrift store for probably around 2 dollars. You make them even trashier and less functional, slap on some God-awful shoelaces that aren’t the correct length, and give me the option of bedazzling them for free.

When did this occur to you that this probably wasn’t a good idea? Oh yeah, never.

Rate this comment: +14

Jul 15, 2010
6:27 pm

#31 hamoza :

Looks like a billy goat had a 3 course meal from these & I bet he got sick afterwards.

Rate this comment: +13

Jul 15, 2010
6:27 pm

#32 Miss_Mercurial :

Oh, wow. I have some boots with a broken heel and some Mary Janes with a torn strap, and I totes need some quick cash. BRB, off to break them…er, “remake” them into “custom” shoes. I’ll be posting on Etsy soon, if anyone’s interested. I’ll even price them at $39.99, a BARGAIN.

Rate this comment: +8

Jul 15, 2010
6:29 pm

#33 whimsicalisthenics :

These photos are totally unprofessional. The “artist” needs to grow his/her toenails much longer.

Rate this comment: +18

Jul 15, 2010
6:35 pm

#34 AreYouGoingToEatThatPickle :

Clearly I’m missing out on a very lucrative business opportunity here….

I just picked up a pair of brand new Chuck Taylor’s at the Converse outlet for $15. I can spend a couple of bucks on a micky of vodka, roll a doob, get my party on, take scissors to the shoes, and still come out ahead!

….mind you, i’d have to wait a week to list them on Etsy, on account of the fact that I shaved my legs this morning and all.

Rate this comment: +13

Jul 15, 2010
7:25 pm

#35 42otherthings :

Gawsh, the toenails don’t even match the shoes… how tacky.

Rate this comment: +7

Jul 15, 2010
7:31 pm

#36 Wilma Fingerdoo :

These look like regulation Chucks- perfect for those challenging dumster diving competitions.

Rate this comment: +1

Jul 15, 2010
7:32 pm

#37 rumi monger :

time for a new category. http://tiny.cc/j2h0u

Rate this comment: +3

Jul 15, 2010
7:45 pm

#38 thewhiterabbitaz :

It’s like the mullet of tennis shoes!

Rate this comment: +30

Jul 15, 2010
7:53 pm

#39 pplrdum :

just needs a fly and it’d be fine art!

Rate this comment: +5

Jul 15, 2010
8:22 pm

#40 Mooserepellant :

I will opt for the studding to detract from the obvious dirty hobbit feet. I bet the guy behind Target doesn’t have studding on his!

Rate this comment: 0

Jul 15, 2010
8:50 pm

#41 suburbanwretch :

Excuse me, but did something attack your shoes and bite off the front bits? And don’t the laces hurt the top of your feet when you walk? Are you trying to raise money to buy yourself some socks? Really the mind boggles.

I suppose if you want to go for a quick jog after getting a pedicure…a $40, one hour pedicure, that is…

Rate this comment: +5

Jul 15, 2010
9:33 pm

#42 mysummernights :

The thing that bothers me most is the fact that anyone with $40 could go buy a knock off pair of chucks and hack them up easily, and still have money left over for beer. There is no skill involved here.

Rate this comment: +6

Jul 15, 2010
10:29 pm

#43 Fartinamitten :

This is the second pair of Fred Flintstone feet I have been seen today.

Rate this comment: +6

Jul 15, 2010
10:40 pm

I’d only buy these if I wanted to be fucked one final time before committing suicide, then I’d hang myself with the laces.

Rate this comment: +21

Jul 15, 2010
10:57 pm

#45 Snark-o-leptic Cesar :

#44 Sudabaki. You are a poet.

Rate this comment: +12

Jul 15, 2010
11:50 pm

#46 buhbyebirdie :

Hand to god, back in the 90’s MTV actually had directions on how to make these on some show about summer looks. Even then (at the ripe old age of 9) I thought they were heinous.

Rate this comment: +7

Jul 16, 2010
12:14 am

#47 Bunnyallarosa :

Sweet deal! You can get these for a cigarette? In my neighbourhod, they usually run about a cigarette and a case of empties. I think I need to shop around a bit more.

Rate this comment: +9

Jul 16, 2010
1:44 am

#48 evacooper :

ewww. and i didnt have breakfast yet…

Rate this comment: +3

Jul 16, 2010
5:52 am

#49 UglyTrollGirl :

As an avid and long time lover of Chucks, I have to say, this is truley an abomination…..

Also….What is with the gnarly feet theme lately? Between this and the Dr. Schols sandal talons. Don’t people realize that no one wants to buy shoes from their cheesy feet?

Rate this comment: +6

Jul 16, 2010
5:53 am

#50 MAG :

Wow…I had a pair of sneakers just like those! I was mowing the lawn and my feet got too close to the blade.

Mine ended up being red too.

But, she’s got toes, I’m envious

Rate this comment: +36

Jul 16, 2010
6:29 am

#51 envy :

I am stupefied, just stupefied… I was going to try to say something not so awful & throw in an aside about the dinosaur converses I had as a child (they had tyrannosaurus prints on the soles, damn it!)… But I have no ability to put a shine on this shit.

Don’t try to sell them — just throw them away… or bury them.

Rate this comment: +4

Jul 16, 2010
7:04 am

#52 Chrisnyc1213 :

I must have them. There is no way on earth I could do this myself with a pair of scissors and a sharp box cutter. Just no way.

Rate this comment: +11

Jul 16, 2010
8:41 am

#53 knittin-kitten :

#46 buhbyebirdie – I remember that! I think it was some pretty well known designer too, only I can’t remember his name, so, not too well known I guess. Oh well.

Rate this comment: 0

Jul 16, 2010
9:30 am

#54 amazon :

Umm… these shoes, brand new, are $45!

http://www.converse.com/#/products/collections/specialcollection7/M9621

Rate this comment: +5

Jul 16, 2010
10:15 am

#55 gracielous :

Okay I am sorry but his only listing on his profile is favorite materials and those are duct tape and safety pins. Why didn’t he list garbage because that is the only materials I see here. Garbage on hobbit feet.

Rate this comment: +4

Jul 16, 2010
10:17 am

#56 greengeekgirl :

2000+ views and they haven’t sold yet. Shocked I am not.

Rate this comment: +5

Jul 16, 2010
11:28 am

#57 AnnieRexia :

Why oh why do I click on Regretsy at lunchtime?

Rate this comment: +7

Jul 16, 2010
5:00 pm

#58 Chrisnyc1213 :

#57 AnnieRexia: because you like a challenge?

Rate this comment: +4

Jul 16, 2010
5:11 pm

#59 ScrapMetal :

I’m shocked!!!! The nail polish and the “sandals” are NOT the same shade of red!!! Shame, shame!!!

Rate this comment: +2

Jul 17, 2010
7:53 am

#60 StinkBait :

This is a few watch gears and hot glue from being steampunk.

Rate this comment: +4

Jul 17, 2010
8:12 am

#61 raven :

Alchemy request needed for a foot model! Ahhh those feet!

Rate this comment: -1

Jul 18, 2010
3:32 pm

#62 mistress dido :

I mean, there’s almost no sole on the black pair. She just can’t be serious. Time for Etsy to put some quality controls in place.

Rate this comment: +1

Jul 19, 2010
2:48 am

#63 hellsbells :

#13 hallospaceboy :
I can’t think of anything worse than wearing Chucks without socks.
I can
chucks without socks AND a “Happy Fortune Cookie Necklace” made of plastic and rubber around your neck.

Rate this comment: +2

Jul 19, 2010
9:25 pm

#64 Mookie :

Ok, here’s what I’m looking for. Something that’s nice and light, that really lets the breeze through my toes, but flip-flops are just WAY too casual…

Rate this comment: +1