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Sneaker Pimps

$40?? The guy who lives in the refrigerator box behind Target has a pair just like this, and he’ll give them to you for a cigarette.

64 comments on Sneaker Pimps

  1. Orlana
    July 15, 2010 at 4:35 pm

    I wouldn’t even pay $40 for them intact. They are USED SHOES.

    Thumb up Thumb down +45

  2. Woody
    July 15, 2010 at 4:35 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -3

  3. Cineaste
    July 15, 2010 at 4:36 pm

    For Fuck’s Sake, can this open-toed bootie trend please die already?

    Oh, and what’s the point of those poor Chuck Taylor’s being maimed like this?

    Thumb up Thumb down +69

  4. supertamsf
    July 15, 2010 at 4:37 pm

    “Custom-made” to fit dirty elephant cankles

    Thumb up Thumb down +16

  5. IscreamUscream
    July 15, 2010 at 4:37 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -5

  6. Karen Miller
    July 15, 2010 at 4:38 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -3

  7. knittin-kitten
    July 15, 2010 at 4:40 pm

    Maybe taking a picture of your filthy feet in the customized shoes you are trying to sell is not the best idea.

    Thumb up Thumb down +52

  8. supertamsf
    July 15, 2010 at 4:42 pm

    Caveman in Converse

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

  9. Skully
    July 15, 2010 at 4:42 pm

    Upchuck Taylors.

    Thumb up Thumb down +180

  10. VagtasticSteampunkSPRHRO
    July 15, 2010 at 4:42 pm

    Hobo-punk.

    Thumb up Thumb down +40

  11. VagtasticSteampunkSPRHRO
    July 15, 2010 at 4:44 pm

    And, those don’t look like they even fit. They look dirty, and those laces look like you got them out of the hot topic dumpster.

    Thumb up Thumb down +48

  12. MonstersFromTheID
    July 15, 2010 at 4:48 pm

    I like the description of one of his other items, “Happy Fortune Cookie Necklace”:

    “Good luck, in plastic and rubber.”

    That could be the next ad campaign for Trojans

    Thumb up Thumb down +78

  13. hallospaceboy
    July 15, 2010 at 4:48 pm

    I can’t think of anything worse than wearing Chucks without socks.

    …Wait, yes I can. These. Those shoes are pretty expensive to start with! Whyyyyyy :<

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

  14. knittin-kitten
    July 15, 2010 at 4:49 pm

    Unless there’s someone on Etsy with a fetish for old tennis shoes I’m pretty sure these won’t sell.

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  15. hamoza
    July 15, 2010 at 4:51 pm

    ‘Studding optional’ Pass on that , K?

    Please keep that filthy stud locked up in a barn , bound in duct tape or whatever it takes to ‘keep it together’ and away from us.

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  16. WhimsyMistress
    July 15, 2010 at 4:55 pm

    *sigh*. I saw that pic and thought “How the hell did someone get a picture of my cankles to photoshop into these horrific used shoes?”

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  17. studiorose
    July 15, 2010 at 4:56 pm

    I’d like to hear more about the studding, please. Will the stud still do his job if you have really ugly feet? How much is the stud fee?

    Thumb up Thumb down +30

  18. nickiefrye
    July 15, 2010 at 4:56 pm

    Yeah, no.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  19. nitebyrd
    July 15, 2010 at 4:56 pm

    Joey, Johnny and DeeDee are rolling in their graves.

    Thumb up Thumb down +32

  20. dcoyote
    July 15, 2010 at 4:57 pm

    Well, I’ll add these to the list of shoes that need to be doused in gasoline and set on fire, right before crocs. Also, does this person not was his/her feet? They look dirty to me.

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

  21. VikingKvinna
    July 15, 2010 at 5:07 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -37

  22. Stretch65
    July 15, 2010 at 5:12 pm

    THINKING OF: USED SHOE REVIEW (barefoot edition) {shudder}

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  23. razberries
    July 15, 2010 at 5:14 pm

    Her feet look ready to bust out of them like the Incredible Hulk

    Thumb up Thumb down +28

  24. KittyPrawn
    July 15, 2010 at 5:16 pm

    He should have went all the way with laces that tie around the ankle, obviously. Then he could also call it part of the gladiator sandal trend!

    (I refuse to acknowledge that this is a woman. Any woman would know to shave before taking pictures of pasty white legs.)

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

  25. leftfoot
    July 15, 2010 at 5:18 pm

    Pot heads shouldn’t play with scissors.

    Thumb up Thumb down +33

  26. Mistletoe
    July 15, 2010 at 5:30 pm

    Really? Just… REALLY?!

    Custom-made? Buying something and hacking the fuck out of it is not “custom”.

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  27. Patty actually IS Steampunk!
    July 15, 2010 at 5:40 pm

    My gut reaction was: “Look what they did to a perfectly good pair of Chucks!”

    Then: Tom Hanks did the same thing with the shoes he got off the dead guy in “Cast Away”.

    And the price brought this: By the way, I paid $40 for a brand new pair, never been worn. They still reeked of that new shoe smell and the sweat of the children who made them at the factory.

    Thumb up Thumb down +20

  28. jojo
    July 15, 2010 at 6:06 pm

    I like my chucks “uncut”.

    Thumb up Thumb down +33

  29. HelenaHandbasket
    July 15, 2010 at 6:16 pm

    In this one instance, I think I prefer he’d have stuck his dick in it.

    Thumb up Thumb down +30

  30. Koorime
    July 15, 2010 at 6:17 pm

    It looks like she melted off the rubber part that is connected to the tongue. Lazy bitch.

    I pay 40 dollars for some destroyed shoes you got at some thrift store for probably around 2 dollars. You make them even trashier and less functional, slap on some God-awful shoelaces that aren’t the correct length, and give me the option of bedazzling them for free.

    When did this occur to you that this probably wasn’t a good idea? Oh yeah, never.

    Thumb up Thumb down +18

  31. hamoza
    July 15, 2010 at 6:27 pm

    Looks like a billy goat had a 3 course meal from these & I bet he got sick afterwards.

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

  32. Miss_Mercurial
    July 15, 2010 at 6:27 pm

    Oh, wow. I have some boots with a broken heel and some Mary Janes with a torn strap, and I totes need some quick cash. BRB, off to break them…er, “remake” them into “custom” shoes. I’ll be posting on Etsy soon, if anyone’s interested. I’ll even price them at $39.99, a BARGAIN.

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  33. whimsicalisthenics
    July 15, 2010 at 6:29 pm

    These photos are totally unprofessional. The “artist” needs to grow his/her toenails much longer.

    Thumb up Thumb down +19

  34. AreYouGoingToEatThatPickle
    July 15, 2010 at 6:35 pm

    Clearly I’m missing out on a very lucrative business opportunity here….

    I just picked up a pair of brand new Chuck Taylor’s at the Converse outlet for $15. I can spend a couple of bucks on a micky of vodka, roll a doob, get my party on, take scissors to the shoes, and still come out ahead!

    ….mind you, i’d have to wait a week to list them on Etsy, on account of the fact that I shaved my legs this morning and all.

    Thumb up Thumb down +15

  35. 42otherthings
    July 15, 2010 at 7:25 pm

    Gawsh, the toenails don’t even match the shoes… how tacky.

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  36. Wilma Fingerdoo
    July 15, 2010 at 7:31 pm

    These look like regulation Chucks- perfect for those challenging dumster diving competitions.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  37. rumi monger
    July 15, 2010 at 7:32 pm

    time for a new category. http://tiny.cc/j2h0u

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  38. thewhiterabbitaz
    July 15, 2010 at 7:45 pm

    It’s like the mullet of tennis shoes!

    Thumb up Thumb down +32

  39. pplrdum
    July 15, 2010 at 7:53 pm

    just needs a fly and it’d be fine art!

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  40. Mooserepellant
    July 15, 2010 at 8:22 pm

    I will opt for the studding to detract from the obvious dirty hobbit feet. I bet the guy behind Target doesn’t have studding on his!

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  41. suburbanwretch
    July 15, 2010 at 8:50 pm

    Excuse me, but did something attack your shoes and bite off the front bits? And don’t the laces hurt the top of your feet when you walk? Are you trying to raise money to buy yourself some socks? Really the mind boggles.

    I suppose if you want to go for a quick jog after getting a pedicure…a $40, one hour pedicure, that is…

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  42. mysummernights
    July 15, 2010 at 9:33 pm

    The thing that bothers me most is the fact that anyone with $40 could go buy a knock off pair of chucks and hack them up easily, and still have money left over for beer. There is no skill involved here.

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  43. Fartinamitten
    July 15, 2010 at 10:29 pm

    This is the second pair of Fred Flintstone feet I have been seen today.

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  44. I’d only buy these if I wanted to be fucked one final time before committing suicide, then I’d hang myself with the laces.

    Thumb up Thumb down +22

  45. Snark-o-leptic Cesar
    July 15, 2010 at 10:57 pm

    #44 Sudabaki. You are a poet.

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

  46. buhbyebirdie
    July 15, 2010 at 11:50 pm

    Hand to god, back in the 90′s MTV actually had directions on how to make these on some show about summer looks. Even then (at the ripe old age of 9) I thought they were heinous.

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  47. Bunnyallarosa
    July 16, 2010 at 12:14 am

    Sweet deal! You can get these for a cigarette? In my neighbourhod, they usually run about a cigarette and a case of empties. I think I need to shop around a bit more.

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  48. evacooper
    July 16, 2010 at 1:44 am

    ewww. and i didnt have breakfast yet…

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  49. UglyTrollGirl
    July 16, 2010 at 5:52 am

    As an avid and long time lover of Chucks, I have to say, this is truley an abomination…..

    Also….What is with the gnarly feet theme lately? Between this and the Dr. Schols sandal talons. Don’t people realize that no one wants to buy shoes from their cheesy feet?

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  50. MAG
    July 16, 2010 at 5:53 am

    Wow…I had a pair of sneakers just like those! I was mowing the lawn and my feet got too close to the blade.

    Mine ended up being red too.

    But, she’s got toes, I’m envious

    Thumb up Thumb down +40

  51. envy
    July 16, 2010 at 6:29 am

    I am stupefied, just stupefied… I was going to try to say something not so awful & throw in an aside about the dinosaur converses I had as a child (they had tyrannosaurus prints on the soles, damn it!)… But I have no ability to put a shine on this shit.

    Don’t try to sell them — just throw them away… or bury them.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  52. Chrisnyc1213
    July 16, 2010 at 7:04 am

    I must have them. There is no way on earth I could do this myself with a pair of scissors and a sharp box cutter. Just no way.

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

  53. knittin-kitten
    July 16, 2010 at 8:41 am

    #46 buhbyebirdie – I remember that! I think it was some pretty well known designer too, only I can’t remember his name, so, not too well known I guess. Oh well.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  54. amazon
    July 16, 2010 at 9:30 am
  55. gracielous
    July 16, 2010 at 10:15 am

    Okay I am sorry but his only listing on his profile is favorite materials and those are duct tape and safety pins. Why didn’t he list garbage because that is the only materials I see here. Garbage on hobbit feet.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  56. greengeekgirl
    July 16, 2010 at 10:17 am

    2000+ views and they haven’t sold yet. Shocked I am not.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  57. AnnieRexia
    July 16, 2010 at 11:28 am

    Why oh why do I click on Regretsy at lunchtime?

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  58. Chrisnyc1213
    July 16, 2010 at 5:00 pm

    #57 AnnieRexia: because you like a challenge?

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  59. ScrapMetal
    July 16, 2010 at 5:11 pm

    I’m shocked!!!! The nail polish and the “sandals” are NOT the same shade of red!!! Shame, shame!!!

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  60. StinkBait
    July 17, 2010 at 7:53 am

    This is a few watch gears and hot glue from being steampunk.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  61. raven
    July 17, 2010 at 8:12 am

    Alchemy request needed for a foot model! Ahhh those feet!

    Thumb up Thumb down -1

  62. mistress dido
    July 18, 2010 at 3:32 pm

    I mean, there’s almost no sole on the black pair. She just can’t be serious. Time for Etsy to put some quality controls in place.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  63. hellsbells
    July 19, 2010 at 2:48 am

    #13 hallospaceboy :
    I can’t think of anything worse than wearing Chucks without socks.
    I can
    chucks without socks AND a “Happy Fortune Cookie Necklace” made of plastic and rubber around your neck.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  64. Mookie
    July 19, 2010 at 9:25 pm

    Ok, here’s what I’m looking for. Something that’s nice and light, that really lets the breeze through my toes, but flip-flops are just WAY too casual…

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

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