Things That Are Not Steampunk #10
This was no ordinary baby. This was the work of disgraced inventor William Pennyweight, wayward son of a noble but now impoverished family, who, along with his trusty assistant Chugginton, hand built this clockwork steam powered infantomaton using a dental mannequin head and a broken oscillomagnometer, creating a sleek new cyborg model like nothing the world has ever seen.
July 14, 2010 at 9:34 am
I got excited when I thought the “LAST ONE” meant that there would be no more items mislabeled as steam punk. A girl can dream.
July 14, 2010 at 9:36 am
Vera Bradley-style bag= Steam Punk?
Learn something new every day
July 14, 2010 at 9:37 am
For $75 I hope it comes with the baby…
July 14, 2010 at 9:39 am
#3 screw the baby, I want the infantomaton HK mentioned. The seller can keep that piece-of-shit fabric sack though.
July 14, 2010 at 9:40 am
LOL! Victorians didn’t have babies! That would be shameful evidence of sex.
July 14, 2010 at 9:40 am
That better be a mechanical baby in there.
July 14, 2010 at 9:42 am
With recent baby sling suffocation warnings in the news:
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2010/03/09/national/main6282437.shtml
why should I risk the life of my child to some dipshit Etsy seller who uses deceptive advertising to market their crap?
July 14, 2010 at 9:44 am
Maybe it’s Steampunk because the Free Shipping is via dirigible.
July 14, 2010 at 9:48 am
if it was really Victorian wouldn’t the baby be in the nursery with the nanny, never to be seen except on holidays?
This is steamjunk.
July 14, 2010 at 9:48 am
Great for carrying watch parts, gears and cogs, too.
July 14, 2010 at 9:50 am
It says it’s long lasting as it can hold up to 30 lbs.
I guess those goggles do weigh a lot.
If I had to lug a 30 lb. baby around my neck, I’d most definitely be steamin’. Learn to walk, kid!
July 14, 2010 at 9:53 am
BABIES AREN’T STEAMPUNK.
July 14, 2010 at 9:55 am
I think the baby doubles as an incendiary device to thwart the James West and Artemis Gordon from unraveling Dr. Loveless’ plans to turn President Lincoln into an artichoke.
July 14, 2010 at 9:56 am
It’s just very well hidden. In that sac are many furiously working mechanisms. It changes the baby’s diaper, takes rectal temerature, burps and so much more! What… uh huh..so, it doesn’t do any of that? It’s just a baby sling? And the binky isn’t even gear shaped? Shit. Good thing I didn’t order that last one, I would have been pretty pissed. I’m going to label some fresh dung as steampunk, it qualifies much more than this.
July 14, 2010 at 9:59 am
I’m sure we will see Holmes and Watson carrying their baby in this in the Sherlock Holes sequal. Guy Richie’s latest reimagining of Holmes is very progressive and this is obviously steampunk?
July 14, 2010 at 9:59 am
oops Holmes – not Holes
July 14, 2010 at 10:05 am
do you really want to foist a label like “steampunk” on your infant? there’s plenty of time for him/her to decide his/her style. maybe he/she will decide to be a jock or a geek…
oh, you meant the pink amoeba print sling?
July 14, 2010 at 10:05 am
Screw rockabilly steampunk wannabees ~here we have hillbilly infantomaton steampunk. Yee- wah- haw.
July 14, 2010 at 10:15 am
I love baby slings. I used them for my 2 boys. I am not sure I like the way this one is made. With slings that are not adjustable proper sizing is a must (yet the listing says nothing about size). If this is not adjustable and is the wrong size the baby could fall out.
I product tested several slings and my favorite was the New Native Baby Carrier (which was not adjustable). As for the price it is in the right range. Why would the seller call it steampunk? Does that get you more sales?
July 14, 2010 at 10:21 am
@ 318-Why call shit steampunk when it has about as much to do with steampunk as shabby chic does? Sales ? maybe.
Traffic baby , traffic.
July 14, 2010 at 10:21 am
A hands-free Victorian baby “sling” would be a 4-wheeled perambulator (or “pram”), which would be pushed by some low-wage servant.
July 14, 2010 at 10:24 am
Also , often a Victorian ‘lady’ was uber hands free, it was called ‘ wet nurse’.
July 14, 2010 at 10:25 am
@ Stretch65, “Sherlock Holes” is the porn version.
Helen, your writeup for this one is beautiful. I think someone should steal it and turn it into a graphic novel. About crafting.
July 14, 2010 at 10:28 am
Look, they didn’t use hands-free baby carriers in Victorian England. Such would be lazy and the very antithesis of the Industrial Revolution.
They made the Irish carry the babies. I mean come on.
July 14, 2010 at 10:32 am
Don’t let that sleeping infantomaton fool you…it could level a city.
July 14, 2010 at 10:34 am
If only Soames Forsythe’s mummy had used one of these he might not have turned out so bad.
July 14, 2010 at 10:35 am
Pardon my error, that’s Forsyte, not Forsythe.
July 14, 2010 at 10:42 am
#12, butterwort, excuse me, but *MY* baby is VERY steampunk; he’s got stuffed cat and purple tank top to prove it!
July 14, 2010 at 10:50 am
When words mean nothing-eco-friendly linen -just how the hell is linen inherently eco friendly? Gah people , do a bit of research!It aint steampunk, Victorian or eco friendly.
In fact mislabeled isn’t friendly at all.
July 14, 2010 at 10:53 am
#23 NICE!!
porn indeed. Porn that caters to “confirmed bachelors”
July 14, 2010 at 11:14 am
Here’s my Steampunk-inspired hands-free baby carrier:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v191/peaseblossom/steam_automated_infant_parambulator.jpg
July 14, 2010 at 11:27 am
#31, Awesomesauce!
I LOVE the baby girl in the goggles! I’m due with a girl in Sept; where can I register for this?!?
July 14, 2010 at 11:34 am
#32, early congratulations!
You could register at the infant department at Mssrs. Whimsicle & Fuckery Incorporated.
July 14, 2010 at 11:39 am
please consider this posting as a vote for Mistletoe’s comment #31 as COTD.
Oh yeah, that sling is about as steampunk as a pair of Birkenstocks.
July 14, 2010 at 11:42 am
As it turns out, I am ACTUALLY Steampunk!
All it takes is having metal parts?
Side view of my left knee-
http://www.flickr.com/photos/psexypsychic/4358030912/
Front view of my left knee-
http://www.flickr.com/photos/psexypsychic/4358030964/
That’s right… Patty really IS Steampunk!
More Steampunk than everything we’ve seen so far.
July 14, 2010 at 11:47 am
I love that she describes the sling as “hands-free”, and yet two hands securely cradle that baby in every pic.
July 14, 2010 at 11:48 am
Patty, now you have to change your name!
July 14, 2010 at 12:38 pm
Yes, I insist that you change your name to “Patty Actually IS Steampunk”
July 14, 2010 at 1:03 pm
awesome back story. i’m buying the book when it comes out in clockwork.
shame about this listing. cute sling, sweet baby, and the model even looks both goth AND happy to be alive. hard to pull off, that.
July 14, 2010 at 1:35 pm
Today’s search results for “steampunk baby”: 350!! Most do not look remotely baby or steampunk
July 14, 2010 at 2:01 pm
pplrdum and Buzzkill, let it not be said that I don’t cave into peer pressure.
July 14, 2010 at 2:04 pm
I believe it’s steampunk form the steam cleaning you’d have to do to get all the shit stains from the baby out of the fabric.
July 15, 2010 at 11:31 am
Patty – as always; you’re killing me!!
…you don’t have a kneecap – WTH!?
July 15, 2010 at 4:49 pm
Patty – that is an AWESOMESAUCE knee joint!!! And I agree with #21- as I was reading HK’;s description, I was thinking “she should write steampunk fiction”.
July 16, 2010 at 9:40 am
It might be steaming, but it ain’t punk.
May 10, 2013 at 1:51 pm
If anyone planed on writting the story of Pennyweight and chuggington, I’d totally read it:)