Fapper Era
Oooh, look at me! I’m so saucy and immodest! Don’t think me too daring, but I have a flask in this pair of used panties that I bought from a stranger on the internet. Why don’t we have ourselves a little nip and — hey, where are you going?
July 9, 2010 at 9:34 am
Oooh lala, is there an extra charge for the yeast infection?
July 9, 2010 at 9:35 am
Soooo, those white spots – what kind of sauce?
July 9, 2010 at 9:35 am
WHAT IS THAT WHITE STUFF? *gags in a corner*
July 9, 2010 at 9:35 am
ya know how sometimes static cling will adhere a pair of your panties to the back of whatever you’re wearing? i mean classic whooops!, right?
it’s like that, except on purpose.
are there pockets & compartments? am i sliding my keys in betweent he cotton panel and the silky underside?
on the upside, i don’t think i’d get mugged for this purse.
July 9, 2010 at 9:37 am
“HAND WASH ONLY”
No thank you.
July 9, 2010 at 9:37 am
I don’t even donate old underwear to goodwill because my thought is, “who would want them??”
It is becoming painfully clear there are many people who do NOT think like me.
July 9, 2010 at 9:38 am
Yeah, but is it steampunk?
July 9, 2010 at 9:38 am
The white stuff is snow, apparently she made the very poor choice to photograph it outside and then blow out the background so it looks like nastiness.
July 9, 2010 at 9:41 am
Is that a stain? A dark, poo-like stain? Right by the butthole area?
July 9, 2010 at 9:42 am
It’s like a bad movie where the mentally deranged sister spends her days making purses out of her panties, wipes poo on the wall, and cooks the dog for dinner.
July 9, 2010 at 9:43 am
What she keeps in there is truly Victoria’s secret.
July 9, 2010 at 9:43 am
“PantyPurses are inspired by the flapper era when women carried only their essentials -mascara, lipstick, powder, and a flask.”
Uh, okay, what does that have to do w/ making underwear into a purse? Does that mean that ladies kept their flask in their tighty whities?
Perhaps they did not have pockets in the roaring twenties?
July 9, 2010 at 9:44 am
But is it reversible? ‘Cuz when I’m feeling extra saucy, I wanna’ be able to turn it inside out and share more intimacies with the whole fucking world !
July 9, 2010 at 9:44 am
Are the straps made from a bra? They look like it to me
Yuck!
This thing is a “men repellent” maybe even a human repellent, no one will want to get close to you.
July 9, 2010 at 9:47 am
Taking bets here-anybody want to speculate(or is that speculum)on how long it takes to get to the front page of Etsy?
July 9, 2010 at 9:47 am
I can appreciate “big and beautiful” as far as people go, but not “panty” purses. And I’m sorry, but the word panty doesn’t really work for me when we’re talking lacy circus tent.
July 9, 2010 at 9:47 am
Nastysaucy!
What the hell was she thinking when she created + posted this…this…*shudder*?
“Oh hold on a sec guy-at-the-bar, my cell’s ringing….just gotta reach for it in the crotch of some strangers’ old skivvies…HELLO?!?
I’m compulsively revolted.
July 9, 2010 at 9:47 am
I’m thinking this would be nice paired with the stained thong pantiliner.
thembone, LOL. Of course it’s not snow… seller is in Dallas. It doesn’t snow there.
July 9, 2010 at 9:48 am
My mother was a seamstress, so, I spent many moments of my childhood having clothing fitted to my body with pins and being measured with tape…
If one is going to take the time to make underwear into a purse, then wouldn’t one feel compelled to get some really fashionable good looking underwear? Where the hell is the La Perla?
you know, this stuff:
http://www.laperla.com/en-us/lingerie/panties/#/?f-size=&f-style=&f-variant=&p=1&s=
July 9, 2010 at 9:48 am
Snow? She took the time to take photos of this atrocity but couldn’t take the photo without snow on the “purse”? Moron.
Here’s a free product photography tip: Use the unprinted side of wrapping paper as a background for your product. Decent wrapping paper is white on the reverse side; offering a distraction-free background. It’s width and length are large enough to accommodate many items. It is readily available. Use it INSTEAD OF FUCKING SNOW ON TOP OF YOUR UGLY FUCKING PRODUCT.
July 9, 2010 at 9:48 am
Ewwwww. I think I see a hair in there!
July 9, 2010 at 9:49 am
I hope she has Monistat in that flask.
July 9, 2010 at 9:50 am
And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why Zelda Fitzgerald spent so much time in sanitariums.
July 9, 2010 at 9:51 am
@snarko-that IS a hair, complete with lice.
July 9, 2010 at 9:52 am
Here’s a purse that looks like panties, but is not. It’s a hoot!
http://rarebirdfinds.typepad.com/rare_bird_finds/2009/06/hoot-the-owl-sling-purse.html
July 9, 2010 at 9:53 am
@#17 – off topic but: Hell yes it snows in Dallas. This year we had record-breaking snow that saw trees, electricity and roofs down all over the city. Just sayin’: http://www.nbcdfw.com/weather/stories/Up-To-2-of-Snow-Expected-Thursday-84053662.html
July 9, 2010 at 9:53 am
Shouldn’t the purse open from the front?
July 9, 2010 at 9:54 am
BTW, what the hell is an “OOBINOGGINUM?”
(it’s written in all caps in the banner of her shop page)
I googled it, but it just sent me back to her profile:
http://www.etsy.com/people/PurpleCrush
Anyone want to translate? Perhaps it holds the clue to working as a professional seamstress and producing gems like this flapper friendly panty purse…
July 9, 2010 at 9:54 am
What this purse really needs is a merkin.
July 9, 2010 at 9:58 am
On lunch, eating clam chowder and a tuna sandwich. I shit you not.
Vom Central Station is calling me.
Anyhoo, why would this gal think it’s okay to throw a pair of granny panties over an old ugly bag (no pun intended)? Off to look at the rest of the shop to see if just *maybe* this one is bait. The white stuff is SO wrong. Ick.
July 9, 2010 at 10:01 am
I thought panty raids were a thing of the past. What do I know?
Check your drawers y’all.
July 9, 2010 at 10:02 am
efit, I know – I was jus’ exaggerating a bit. I grew up there, and can count the number of times I saw snow on one hand, the hand that got caught in the lawnmower.
July 9, 2010 at 10:03 am
Why is it that whenever anyone “upcycles” underwear on Etsy they use brown or a variation thereof? Don’t they get it?
July 9, 2010 at 10:05 am
@easymac-I’d agree with that but really, in this case would it have made a difference if this was hot pink?
July 9, 2010 at 10:05 am
A ladies flask is rather smallish, I believe hence the necessity for a compact purse to be unostentatious. This crafter obviously doesn’t know the meaning of discreet as one could carry a quart of Jack and a six-pack of Bud in that thing.
July 9, 2010 at 10:06 am
it cannot be said enough: panties go *under* the clothing.
July 9, 2010 at 10:06 am
Am I the only one disappointed that these weren’t wearable panties with a pouch in the front?
July 9, 2010 at 10:07 am
Heh, my mom had these.
*****oh shit! did I just post that on the internet?*****
July 9, 2010 at 10:09 am
Sweet mother of god. I have to stop giving the general public the benefit of the doubt, I mean, the mind boggles…. who in their right mind?….. how can they even? …. wtf?…..
I have no words.
July 9, 2010 at 10:10 am
I never would have thought to make a purse from the creamed-on panties I found in the back alley behind the bar…I just left them there and ran away. I could have made enough to go back in and drink away the image of that purse.
July 9, 2010 at 10:10 am
@ #29 razberries… unfortunately, or fortunately?, the whole shop is a mess. from panty purses to bodysuits.
i do dig the bottle cap earrings though… yes, i am a shameless lush.
July 9, 2010 at 10:12 am
whatever you carry in there will look like crap. literally.
July 9, 2010 at 10:16 am
The only thing you’ll tease is that dog wanting to sniff your purse.
July 9, 2010 at 10:16 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
July 9, 2010 at 10:16 am
If you turn it upside down, you could wear it as a fly-mask for halloween?
July 9, 2010 at 10:18 am
For a “daring” night out?
Ohhhhhh.
It is the “I dare you to walk around with that purse and look like a trashy whore” kinda daring.
July 9, 2010 at 10:20 am
You know, if it was reversible, the only way I would actually plunk down $10.00 for this item is if the inside depicted a vagina…
I am now trying to imagine what this woman would make the fictitious reversible inner vagina lining from… maybe a hanky, preferably one with a lace edging.
July 9, 2010 at 10:21 am
Besides the splooge looking snow, what makes this look bad* is the baggy black satin. It gives the (admittedly large panties) a baggy look. Yes, it’s a bag, but who wants to go around with baggy panties?
(*Note: By “bad” I mean fucking moronic.)
July 9, 2010 at 10:23 am
white stuff = VAGOO DANDRUFF?!! {shudder}
July 9, 2010 at 10:25 am
If it is reversible does that mean you get an extra day of use out of it?
July 9, 2010 at 10:26 am
Why the hell would anyone want a purse that has been sitting in snow? Particularly one that is not waterproof?
July 9, 2010 at 10:27 am
Watch out for purse snatchers!!!
July 9, 2010 at 10:28 am
320 views on this item and UNSHOCKINGLY: ZERO HEARTS!
will someone please photoshop a merkin on this?!?!Pretty please with pubes on top??
July 9, 2010 at 10:28 am
#51 LeeLooDallas – HA!
July 9, 2010 at 10:29 am
Why not just give in & go all the way? This monstrosity practically begs for a coordinating polymer vagoo pendant as an accessory.
July 9, 2010 at 10:29 am
#51, Leeloo, was that purse “snatchers” or purse “snatches”???
well, either way, watch out!
July 9, 2010 at 10:29 am
If that purse got a hole in it all the shit would fall out.
July 9, 2010 at 10:32 am
#55 that purse looks like was already snatched!
July 9, 2010 at 10:33 am
No. Not even to a costume party. Not even as a joke. This truly is a GAG gift.
*shudder*
July 9, 2010 at 10:37 am
; )
July 9, 2010 at 10:44 am
These would go great with those Lady Nana sunglasses from yesterday!!!!
July 9, 2010 at 10:45 am
With that shade of brown if she attached the thong from the other day I would be sold. On the upside I think finding a purse snatcher brave enough would be a challenge.
July 9, 2010 at 10:47 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
July 9, 2010 at 10:47 am
So, is the tease part that your carrying your panties and not wearing them?
Methinks this may backfire if would be suitors think I’m wearing some big browns with mold.
July 9, 2010 at 10:49 am
This would be a great place to store this pillow:
http://www.regretsy.com/2010/07/05/busch/
July 9, 2010 at 10:52 am
Ok, I had to join for this one. I’ve been lurking for a while. Too bad it wasn’t made out of a thong. It looks like the brown thong liner on regretsy ealier would have gone great with it. It would have made a great little pocket for some blood red lip gloss.
July 9, 2010 at 10:53 am
I can see it now. Night spent dancing at a club with this monstrosity. Bag bumps into someone and apologizing. “Oh sorry this is just my flapper inspired granny panty bag”. I am sure all the guys would be teased.
What is this seller on. I must say I also like the thong shoulder bag. Should be paired with the stained panty liner.
July 9, 2010 at 11:03 am
this is just what i want to complete my look: a pair of fukcycled granny pants weighed down with a full flask, wallet, phone and cosmetics like an unwieldy, untimely load. Very Daisy Buchanan.
July 9, 2010 at 11:03 am
#52 pplrdum, I would do it, but I’m at work and I doubt my boss (aka my husband) would appreciate my use of time. He’s not much of a Regretsy fan (sometimes I’m not sure why I married him).
July 9, 2010 at 11:05 am
And it’s already been said, but it bears saying again, I think. If this was fashioned after the little purses the flappers used, don’t ya think they shouldn’t have used what appears to be plus-sized panties? This could definitely carry more than the essentials unless you needed the extra large size of powder or something.
July 9, 2010 at 11:07 am
I replaced the crotch with fishnet:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/0903/billsbayou/Fishnet.jpg
July 9, 2010 at 11:14 am
I once had a friend who actually bought her underwear at the thrift store. I didn’t think anything could be more unsavory than that. Well, I was wrong.
July 9, 2010 at 11:17 am
#69 Knitten-kitten:
savory – pungently flavorful without sweetness
I’m not sure that thrift store panties are actually UNsavory.
July 9, 2010 at 11:23 am
#70 BillsBayou-She was really nice other than the thrift store panties so I used unsavory in lieu of something more mean. I really wanted to use -utterly disgusting- but that seemed harsh.
July 9, 2010 at 11:27 am
I’m sure even vintage panties have a story to tell. Some are surely quite beautiful with their detail. Unfortunately, these are not.
I can imagine the story they would tell would be about spending many nights home, under a housedress, eating Ho Hos and Yodels while watching Wheel of Fortune.
July 9, 2010 at 11:29 am
it’s not snow, it’s “snow” – you know, the kind that people put on the edge of toilet seats before snorting up their nose. At least it explains why these are underpants. Maybe.
July 9, 2010 at 11:32 am
there’s a thrift store chain that has racks of used underwear. And bathing suits – you know, the stuff you’re not allowed to return to the store after you buy them when they are new.
I want to know if this comes with a used mattress, and I want photos of these underpants in UV light.
July 9, 2010 at 11:35 am
Seems she threw these through the dryer with a used Kleenex.
July 9, 2010 at 11:47 am
I would like a nice small evening bag with straps. I will have to wait until she comes out with the bra edition.
July 9, 2010 at 11:58 am
Cripes, how big is the flask?
July 9, 2010 at 12:04 pm
#76 Recovering Crack Baby – She has thong bags maybe those would be small enough for you. Why is a thong a shoulder bag but the huge granny panties are a purse? Maybe she keeps her jug of shine in them there grannies.
July 9, 2010 at 12:17 pm
Why on earth wouldn’t you use new, SEXY panties for something like this? Underpants can be revolting, or enticingly sexy….it appears the seller doesn’t grasp this distinction. How about black and red lace?? Work with me, lady!
July 9, 2010 at 12:17 pm
81-IDK…However, I am convinced this could take on a beer can and the owner of them.
July 9, 2010 at 12:21 pm
#52 rofl lol HEE HEE
but purse SNATCHers with granny panties on them…? computer says nooooooo
July 9, 2010 at 12:32 pm
All you ladies who thought your old underwear wasn’t good for anything anymore, take note: you’ve been sitting on a goldmine.
July 9, 2010 at 12:34 pm
I’m no prude, but wasn’t it bad enough when women started wearing their lingerie around town, in plain view of everyone & their respective mamas-boobs & butt cheeks hanging out all over the place…whatever happened to subtle, to the imagination-now we have to be subjected to twats with handbags showcasing crotch rot?
July 9, 2010 at 12:43 pm
maybe the granny panty purse is for those days when you feel bloated.
July 9, 2010 at 12:59 pm
This, as well as most of her other Panty Purses are poorly executed. There is one exception: http://www.etsy.com/listing/40374389/packin-heat-pantypurse?ref=v1_other_2
Now that’s clever. I’d carry my handgun in there.
July 9, 2010 at 12:59 pm
Wait, how does she have 10 sales, but when I go to look at said sold items I only see one thing? WTF!
July 9, 2010 at 1:07 pm
As a history major/costumer/Jazz Age enthusiast, I am totally offended that this is what the 1920′s inspired her to do.
Or, at least, I would be offended if I could at all figure out how she equated flappers (and their small clutch purses) with a friggin’ beach tote made from size XX underwear.
July 9, 2010 at 1:10 pm
#6: I think many places will use donated panties as fabric for rags, especially if it’s something like cotton as opposed to the nastiest, snaggiest nylon. So instead of some weird stranger wearing your panties, your blood-stained panty crotch could be wiping down someone’s car.
July 9, 2010 at 1:15 pm
“Are the straps made from a bra?” Oo! Oo! #14 you gave me an idea! How about this purse made with a bra — the cup parts could be sticking out through the leg holes of the pants! Then you’d have the straps in a perfect position to be the handles! Whaddaya bet she’ll try it?????
July 9, 2010 at 1:34 pm
If you buy this no one will try to snatch your purse (no pun intended) ever.
July 9, 2010 at 1:45 pm
Just looked at it on Etsy (ok, I wanted to check out her shop) & noticed the last pic has no gross white stuff. So she didn’t even bother to clean/dust off the used panties before 3/4 of the pics? SMH
July 9, 2010 at 1:57 pm
OH DEAR GOD.
KILL IT WITH FIRE.
July 9, 2010 at 2:15 pm
This piece of fuckery might sell faster if she’d brushed the pubic dandruff off before photographing it.
July 9, 2010 at 2:20 pm
yeesh, all I could think of when I saw the white stuff was – someone had too good of a time with these already – then I saw that it was snow.
It’s summer now, so obviously that listing has been up there for a few months…because no one wants it!
July 9, 2010 at 2:20 pm
pplrdum, WAH-LAH – it becomes an AWESOMESAUCY, immodest vanity clutch, perfect for snatch-flashing flappers to keep an extra tommy-gun handy:
http://i990.photobucket.com/albums/af28/sunshynegrll/merkinpurse.jpg
July 9, 2010 at 2:21 pm
Now you can get to 3rd base every time you get your wallet out!
July 9, 2010 at 2:45 pm
I’ve heard of bra handbags, but this?
I think I was sick in my mouth a little.
July 9, 2010 at 3:10 pm
Well, then. This would be just perfect for me, as I ALWAYS keep my gin near my hoo-haw.
July 9, 2010 at 4:32 pm
My eyes popped out of my head when I saw this! O.O There is NOTHING “flapper” about this “bag”. If I saw someone carrying this over their shoulder I would think that they forgot to use fabric softener & a pair of their undeez had accidentally stuck to their shirt. Blech! Not hot.
July 9, 2010 at 4:36 pm
who wants their crap thrown in the snow before they buy it??
July 9, 2010 at 4:49 pm
I can’t get past the weird white fuzz stuff.
July 9, 2010 at 6:02 pm
Heinous. This is psych ward-worthy.
I can only imagine what would happen if the clerk at Whole Foods asked “Did you bring your own bag?” and someone whipped out this monstrosity.
“Yes I did. Here you go!”
July 9, 2010 at 6:03 pm
this is vile
July 9, 2010 at 6:08 pm
Hell Yes! Thanks…I thought the only thing I could do with those old thongs of mine when I was bored of them was toss those babies out the in the garbage. Now I am going to up-cycle those bitches into fancy VS cell phone bags!
July 9, 2010 at 6:49 pm
IS it just me, or is there a hint of a stain on the bottom of those panties?
July 9, 2010 at 6:56 pm
Wait, did she lay it in snow to take a pic of it? Or fake snow? That’s what a couple of pics look like. Of course, its hard to say whether the red sweater is a better backdrop or not.
July 9, 2010 at 6:58 pm
Free crabs with every purchase!
July 9, 2010 at 9:10 pm
Oh, I get it! It’s literal! When you go on that one night stand, and need an extra pair of panties, it’s all right there! Your valtrex and everything! Because, with this purse, you’re SO getting laid. Yeah, by the man in the back who looks like he’s about to give birth, and had to have several rounds before deciding to sleep with YOU!
July 10, 2010 at 2:42 pm
I love how the thong purse is made so you get to carry it by the ass-string.
Now that’s good planning.
July 10, 2010 at 5:21 pm
You know, this Etsy seller should really diversify her market. There are loads of skeezy men all over the interwebs who want to buy used ladies’ underpants. Why not offer them a functional way for them to enjoy their fetish? She should sell a shaving kit from boyshorts, golf club covers from tangas, and for those who like the exceptionally big and beautiful: the control top Weber gril cover.
July 10, 2010 at 6:24 pm
I’ve never heard of a panty purse before – obviously I lead a sheltered life! Googling brings a snatch of panty purses to the eyes but none are so ugly as this. Some people have way too much free time.
July 11, 2010 at 6:20 pm
Handwash Only!!! You wouldn’t want to ruin them.
July 12, 2010 at 2:20 am
Good God what a montstrosity. This is easily the most hideous item I have ever seen listed on Etsy.
July 12, 2010 at 4:53 am
Ay mi madre! >.<"
July 17, 2010 at 9:45 pm
No, really, this is a steal, and lace, too!!! At least, compared to a tightie whitey purse:
http://www.sundancecatalog.com/product/sundance+catalog+outlet/new+arrivals/peaches+and+cream+bag.do?sortby=ourPicks
July 27, 2010 at 12:27 am
Update! The purse SOLD! OMG…
August 2, 2010 at 9:38 am
what do you call a panty purse with no arms and no legs thats in the water?? …BOB!!!!
the fact that she chose an actual skintone to line the leggy-bits is disturbing in ways I can’t really put into words. It’s a granny panty, bilateral amputee purse of horrors.
May 6, 2011 at 12:25 pm
Ew.
July 3, 2011 at 12:52 am
This listing is complete. Panty purse and herpes. (see model’s mouth). This is just gross. These are the kind of people that give Texas a bad rep.
http://www.etsy.com/listing/53100269/panty-purse-butterfly