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Things That Are Not Steampunk #4

- Submitted by Stephanie Barnes

49 comments on Things That Are Not Steampunk #4

  1. KitCameo
    July 6, 2010 at 1:03 pm

    Wise man, that Jules Verne.

    Thumb up Thumb down +33

  2. curlytopnola
    July 6, 2010 at 1:05 pm

    maybe it’s the new baskin-robbins flavor of the month:
    cogs-n-goggles delight.
    except without the cogs.
    or the goggles.
    or the delight.

    Thumb up Thumb down +128

  3. LauraTheRed
    July 6, 2010 at 1:06 pm

    Hey, even Jules Verne liked ice cream.

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  4. thecatsmeow
    July 6, 2010 at 1:06 pm

    i think they are much more “twighlight inspired” than “steampunk”

    Thumb up Thumb down +30

  5. hamoza
    July 6, 2010 at 1:07 pm

    Creampunk junk.

    Thumb up Thumb down +56

  6. Patty has been abducted by an Alien
    July 6, 2010 at 1:08 pm

    I think the use of the little hearts negates any possibility of “steampunk”-ness.

    Not that these were ever steampunk, but still.

    Thumb up Thumb down +21

  7. thecatsmeow
    July 6, 2010 at 1:09 pm

    and by “twighlight” i mean “twilight”, i’m obvi a huge fan.

    Thumb up Thumb down +22

  8. Mistletoe
    July 6, 2010 at 1:10 pm

    Waitwaitwait, I got the rationalization for this one.

    Typhoid Mary. Spread typhoid by way of ice cream, in the 19th Century. And since we all know that 19th Century automatically equals Steampunk… BAZINGA.

    Thumb up Thumb down +51

  9. hamoza
    July 6, 2010 at 1:11 pm

    Predicting great things for this reseller, who already has sunk to a low of % 92 rating. Let ‘em sell some more shit & bury their pitiful selves. AAARRRGGGHHH

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  10. skeletaldropkick
    July 6, 2010 at 1:13 pm

    @Mistletoe, is that 6 degrees of steampunk?

    Thumb up Thumb down +21

  11. Khyri
    July 6, 2010 at 1:15 pm

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  12. joshpincusiscrying
    July 6, 2010 at 1:15 pm

    Now, I draw the line! This is just too fucking stupid to warrant a smartass comment.

    Thumb up Thumb down +28

  13. Mistletoe
    July 6, 2010 at 1:16 pm

    #10 skeletaldropkick
    Exaaactly. Only this is like three or four. Put that in your clockwork pipe and smoke it, bitchez!

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  14. mnemonides
    July 6, 2010 at 1:18 pm

    #8–

    zzzttt. Can’t even use that one. Typhoid Mary was active from 1900 on.

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  15. Dix
    July 6, 2010 at 1:20 pm

    Apparently the world is in dire need of a Steampunk Tutorial. Sheesh.

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  16. Calibanista
    July 6, 2010 at 1:20 pm

    these things are slightly less steampunk than a dodge caravan filled with the cast of Desperate Housewives being driven around a subdivision of split-levels by Britney Spears.

    Thumb up Thumb down +54

  17. bootsychoo
    July 6, 2010 at 1:24 pm

    Wow – that Jules Verne really was way ahead of his time.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  18. Mistletoe
    July 6, 2010 at 1:27 pm

    #14 Well see “Turn of the Century” ALSO counts automatically as Steampunk.

    And that’s my story. And I’m sticking to it.

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  19. Wilma Fingerdoo
    July 6, 2010 at 1:29 pm

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  20. leftfoot
    July 6, 2010 at 1:30 pm

    people need to learn things.

    Thumb up Thumb down +24

  21. Wilma Fingerdoo
    July 6, 2010 at 1:31 pm

    I’m sorry. These are so much better.

    http://www.etsy.com/listing/34036741/high-heel-on-ears-studs

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  22. Wilma Fingerdoo
    July 6, 2010 at 1:32 pm

    I needed something for *giving confidense looking*.

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  23. hamoza
    July 6, 2010 at 1:33 pm

    Saw the same utter crap at my local dollar store about a week ago-2 for a dollar. Bwahahahah. As annoyed as I am with Etsy for snoozing on the job, I kinda’ figure if someone has such incredibly crappy taste & is so oblivious, they deserve to buy something worth ten cents for eight bucks. Fuck ‘em.

    Thumb up Thumb down +17

  24. HelenaHandbasket
    July 6, 2010 at 1:33 pm

    These are displayed and worn upside-down, as well as mislabelled; obviously depicting very steampunk octupi, spewing blood and gunk at sea explorers in the inky depths.

    Thumb up Thumb down +19

  25. Patty has been abducted by an Alien
    July 6, 2010 at 1:34 pm

    I think this seller is confused between “Steampunk fashion” and “Lolita fashion”.

    Sure, the women wear lace and ruffles, but they are two completely different styles.

    http://www.google.com/images?hl=en&source=imghp&q=Lolita+fashion&btnG=Search+Images&gbv=2&aq=f&aqi=&aql=&oq=&gs_rfai=

    http://www.google.com/images?hl=en&gbv=2&tbs=isch:1&sa=1&q=steampunk+fashion&aq=f&aqi=g3&aql=&oq=&gs_rfai=

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  26. Mistletoe
    July 6, 2010 at 1:34 pm

    #20 I, for example, have learned that I can’t even make up a reason to remotely consider these Steampunk.

    Thumb up Thumb down +16

  27. Dynomoose
    July 6, 2010 at 1:35 pm

    well, the card is brown…. rofl

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  28. IscreamUscream
    July 6, 2010 at 2:07 pm

    Jules Verne should unleash the Kraken on these Bangkok resellers.

    Thumb up Thumb down +16

  29. steviesegel
    July 6, 2010 at 2:38 pm

    I think these earrings are more 1970′s than 1870′s

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  30. BillsBayou
    July 6, 2010 at 2:41 pm

    #25 Patty, Maybe it’s Steampunk Lolita?

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/queenoffantasy/2608593698/

    SFW, but I feel dirty having looked at that photo.

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  31. Mandi Apple
    July 6, 2010 at 2:54 pm

    Let me assure you, not even the most rabid sweet lolita would wear those hideous dollar-store Chinese sweatshop horrors :(

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

  32. Texchanchan
    July 6, 2010 at 3:06 pm

    They’re probably made in China; Chinese factories are unsafe; Victorian factories were unsafe, therefore, there you are!

    Thumb up Thumb down +28

  33. Skully
    July 6, 2010 at 3:13 pm

    Sent seller msg, (will keep you posted on their response):

    Just curious, what exactly makes these earrings “Steampunk”? Is the factory in Thailand that produced them powered by steam?

    Thumb up Thumb down +31

  34. redredred
    July 6, 2010 at 3:26 pm

    I have come to two theories about this item:

    Theory 1: The seller has no fucking clue as to what steampunk is, but looked around Etsy and saw that a lot of items were tagged as such, probably some of the items we have here tagged under “not remotely steampunk”. Naturally their research would be inaccurate if such is the case.

    Theory 2: This seller is perfectly aware as to what steampunk is, and doesn’t give a shit. They just want their crap to come up in a search, any search.

    Thumb up Thumb down +19

  35. redredred
    July 6, 2010 at 3:27 pm

    Wait…I have a third theory: The seller is a fucking moron.

    After that, I’m all out of ideas.

    Thumb up Thumb down +25

  36. StinkBait
    July 6, 2010 at 3:52 pm

    Etsy should pay Regretsy for locating items and sellers that sell items that are completely against the rules.

    Seriously, April has Etsy cut you a check yet?

    No, but I did see an internal memo recently that said we send them so much traffic, they’ve started a study on it. – HK

    Thumb up Thumb down +28

  37. ADHD
    July 6, 2010 at 4:09 pm

    Jules also said-
    Science , my lad, is made up of mistakes, but they are mistakes which it is useful to make, because they lead little by little to the truth. Ice Cream doo-dad earrings
    are a mistake and not leading us to the truth.
    Jules Verne

    He said that really- I swear. Well, at least the first part.

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  38. Stretch65
    July 6, 2010 at 5:14 pm

    “Its Steampunk because I SAY IT IS
    and no I don’t have cryabeetus” “HATERS!”

    Can we work Freud in with Steampunk. There is a definately a pattern of ID/EGO imbalance with these Steampunkers

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  39. HomeAlone
    July 6, 2010 at 6:08 pm

    145 sales, that shop isn’t going anywhere. I think Etsy conveniently looks the other way sometimes. Or am I stating the obvious…

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  40. Kite
    July 6, 2010 at 7:19 pm

    HomeAlone, don’t be so mean! I got a response from Etsy the other day and they said they were trying very hard.

    “We are working tirelessly to remove sellers who are selling items that do not meet our criteria, but this is a big task and will take time!

    We don’t approve listings before they go live on the site, so this means you may come across items that do not meet our criteria that have not been removed yet. I know this is frustrating, but we are doing our best to …blah blah…”

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  41. Mookie
    July 6, 2010 at 8:16 pm

    Everyone loves ice cream! But I ESPECIALLY love the mechanically kind.

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  42. MaryBeth
    July 6, 2010 at 8:31 pm

    Oh yes – these are SO steampunk and SO handmade!

    Why didn’t she just try for “vintage”?

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  43. Esmeralda_m
    July 6, 2010 at 8:42 pm

    @ #41 mookie

    You know what’s better than putting a nice spoonful of icecream in your mouth and breaking your teeth on a rusty gear?
    NOTHING.

    That said, I hate enamelled metal pins/ etc. They remind me of the creepy aunts who wear sweaters that light up on holidays and give you Garfield merchandise for your birthday.

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  44. PussDaddy
    July 7, 2010 at 12:04 am

    Wouldn’t steam melt ice cream?

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  45. anditron
    July 7, 2010 at 7:03 am

    I hope that last photo of her wearing the earring is photoshopped because ewww!

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  46. knittin-kitten
    July 7, 2010 at 12:00 pm

    I think the Trader Joe’s paper bag is more steampunk than these.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  47. Mooserepellant
    July 7, 2010 at 1:54 pm

    At least she nailed the description with some of her other products, like these: http://www.etsy.com/listing/35519085/eiffel-tower-studs

    I can’t wait to visit the “Ifel Tower”!!

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  48. Danorz
    July 8, 2010 at 8:45 am

    helen i love yyou so much right now for this and the verne quote and the ongoing etsy steamjunk backlash you don’t even know

    YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  49. purpleraven
    August 14, 2011 at 10:35 am

    I kinda like watch parts in my ice cream. Nice ‘n’ crunchy.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

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