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Busch

Posted by Helen Killer

79 comments

- Submitted by Stephanie Barnes

Oh, honey. If you had a beer can, you wouldn’t need this pillow.

Filed in Decorative Pillows, Vaginas 79 comments

79 Comments

Add Comment

Jul 5, 2010
4:37 pm

#1 hallospaceboy :

…Sure, if “beer can” is a euphemism for “penis”.

Rate this comment: +47

Jul 5, 2010
4:37 pm

#2 sudabaki©®™ Esq., L.L.C. (Patent Pending) :

Fully operational? What the hell do they do with their beer cans?

Rate this comment: +120

Jul 5, 2010
4:39 pm

#3 hallospaceboy :

Also, I have yet to come across a man whose junk is the circumference of a beer can when erect.

Rate this comment: +148

Jul 5, 2010
4:39 pm

#4 Xniner :

Does this person think a penis or a vagina is beer can sized? Or is that just the convenient sewing model they had available when this craft idea popped into their head? Either way=eeewww.

Rate this comment: +32

Jul 5, 2010
4:43 pm

#5 geektastic :

#3, yeah, and if you find him, let me know.

Rate this comment: +97

Jul 5, 2010
4:48 pm

#6 sudabaki©®™ Esq., L.L.C. (Patent Pending) :

If your vagina is beer can sized I have something for, it’s called kegels.

Rate this comment: +157

Jul 5, 2010
4:49 pm

#7 hallospaceboy :

#5 – I feel I should’ve prefaced that with “In my limited sexual experience…”

Rate this comment: +22

Jul 5, 2010
4:51 pm

#8 Patty has been abducted by an Alien :

Where the hell was this when I was looking for a graduation gift for my son?

Dammit.

Rate this comment: +109

Jul 5, 2010
4:55 pm

#9 DizzyMissLizzy :

I’ll never look at my pink cashmere sweater the same way again.

Rate this comment: +44

Jul 5, 2010
4:59 pm

#10 kirstenrana :

Gently yawning? If a vag is gently yawning, it probably doesn’t feel like having your “beer can” anywhere near it.

Rate this comment: +135

Jul 5, 2010
5:00 pm

#11 bootsychoo :

Any man who is interested in the “supple Boucle”, the “black lace embellishment swaddling a satin-lined opening”, & the “pink cashmere lining” is not interested in vaginas of any kind.

Rate this comment: +367

Jul 5, 2010
5:01 pm

#12 Esmeralda_m :

For a hundred bucks a fella could get a blow up doll OR a fleshlight (A far better “portable” option) and enough beer to obliterate any memory of using said sex toy.
Or he could get 3 lap dances, or a cheap hooker.

There are just so many better and equally… uhh… satisfying ways to spend a hundred bucks, and none of them require shipping and handling.

Also, as a beer cozy, this looks mighty unstable.

Rate this comment: +66

Jul 5, 2010
5:04 pm

#13 Esmeralda_m :

Oh wow. I just got the punny title and spat out my coffee.

Rate this comment: +17

Jul 5, 2010
5:07 pm

#14 geektastic :

Esmeralda, I think any of those ways would have to be *way more* satisfying than sticking your working part into a cashmere hole big enough to fit a beer can.

Rate this comment: +18

Jul 5, 2010
5:12 pm

#15 IscreamUscream :

um…ok.

Rate this comment: 0

Jul 5, 2010
5:22 pm

#16 sudabaki©®™ Esq., L.L.C. (Patent Pending) :

Instructions for the uncircumcised: empty lint trap after after use.

Rate this comment: +142

Jul 5, 2010
5:23 pm

#17 zeroonezeroone :

Gold Leader: It’s no good, I can’t maneuver!
Gold Five: Stay on target.
Gold Leader: *We’re too close!*
Gold Five: Stay on target!
Gold Leader: [shouts] Loosen up!

Rate this comment: +3

Jul 5, 2010
5:24 pm

#18 razberries :

even though it’s “satin lined” or whatever, it looks like it would be rough and itchy upon insertion…
chafing, anyone?

Rate this comment: +15

Jul 5, 2010
5:26 pm

#19 Somewhereovertherainbow :

I’m afraid this vagillow will haunt me in my sleep.

Rate this comment: +78

Jul 5, 2010
5:28 pm

#20 hamoza :

This brings back memories of the old ‘Busch Gardens’….not.

What the supremely unskilled & untalented do to sell crap: stick a vagoo on any old thing.

I’m no man , but if this was the best I could do in the way of ‘best friend’, I’d drink myself to death.

Rate this comment: +23

Jul 5, 2010
5:33 pm

#21 americancheesy :

Seems like if it was “fully operational,” you’d have a nasty smelling pillow after a day or two. From the spilled beer, of course.

Rate this comment: +98

Jul 5, 2010
5:35 pm

#22 jwheeler :

Bad form, do they know how difficult it is to clean cashmere?

Rate this comment: +49

Jul 5, 2010
5:42 pm

#23 Vile & Evil Debbie Downer :

This is what abstinence councelors use to train boys to hate sex. The most UN-SEXY, itchy-looking fabric, with a beer-can sized orifice. Nice and ice-cold down in there after holding your brewski, too.

Anybody getting turned on? Didn’t think so.

Rate this comment: +38

Jul 5, 2010
5:45 pm

#24 Vile & Evil Debbie Downer :

HOLY SHIT! Did you see the back?

THERE’S AN ANUS.

All sarcasm aside, I do like the lace pubes and ruffled labia.

Rate this comment: +38

Jul 5, 2010
5:57 pm

#25 hamoza :

My labia would get ruffled too if some jerk off tried to stick a cold one anywhere near it.

Rate this comment: +89

Jul 5, 2010
5:57 pm

#26 AgoutiAvenger :

@ razberries: I looked up “supple” in the dictionary… it read “supple: adj. 1. opposite of boucle.”

Rate this comment: +31

Jul 5, 2010
6:30 pm

#27 janncri :

Disturbing in an itchy/overpriced/useless, fugly piece of shit sort of way.

Rate this comment: +11

Jul 5, 2010
6:44 pm

#28 HelenaHandbasket :

Gentlemen: if the size and sensation of this works for you, please don’t call.

Rate this comment: +24

Jul 5, 2010
6:48 pm

#29 Chrisnyc1213 :

Three words: Lancaster Gift Shop

Rate this comment: +6

Jul 5, 2010
6:49 pm

#30 sudabaki©®™ Esq., L.L.C. (Patent Pending) :

Oh shit, I just notice the price. You don’t need that hole to get fucked if you pay that much for this monstrosity.

Rate this comment: +24

Jul 5, 2010
6:53 pm

#31 Xniner :

YouNeedPillows’ Profile
Bio
Curious Crafter in the Pacific Northwest creating odd, one-of-a-kind creations and clever crafts for any occasion. My fabric selection is truly random; it consists of whatever material I receive from my sources. This assures that the materials I get are unique and I’ll most likely never get that material again, so snatch it up while you can!
Male
>Why do I think his “sources” are things fished out of the Salvation Army donation box?

Rate this comment: +26

Jul 5, 2010
6:56 pm

#32 MyEyesMyEyes :

It isn’t often that you see the words “supple boucle” and “vagina” in the same sentence.

My mother in law likes to use a coozie for her beer cans. This gives me a whole new idea for Christmas!

Rate this comment: +14

Jul 5, 2010
6:57 pm

#33 hamoza :

Yeah-’SNATCH it up while you CAN ‘ EWWWWWWWWWWWW

Rate this comment: +36

Jul 5, 2010
7:02 pm

#34 Snark-o-leptic Cesar :

If the maker of this product was REALLY creative he’d know that buying a round of drinks round midnight and talking with a british accent would get him the real thing and save about $60.00.

Rate this comment: +36

Jul 5, 2010
7:10 pm

#35 Recovering Crack Baby :

I’d like to see the one that holds the glass beer bottles, please.

Rate this comment: +5

Jul 5, 2010
7:18 pm

#36 TooManyCookbooks :

Nothing says ’sexy’ like a little fabric friction burn, no? Oh wait — no, not ’sexy’. . .what’s the word. . .’desperate’, that’s it!

Rate this comment: +7

Jul 5, 2010
7:18 pm

#37 hamoza :

Just imagine the 6 pack version- a bolster vagillow that will not bolster your sex life.

Rate this comment: +8

Jul 5, 2010
7:34 pm

#38 Snark-o-leptic Cesar :

$100.00 ? I can’t afford that.

Do you have any used ones?

Rate this comment: +21

Jul 5, 2010
7:48 pm

#39 leftfoot :

#3 hallospaceboy : I actually have.. and my best friend in HS lost her virginity to him. He was called “2 Coke can Ken”.

Rate this comment: +2

Jul 5, 2010
7:57 pm

#40 Skully :

Actually, this should be called “Manllow’s Best Friend.”

And LOL at #16 Suda!

Rate this comment: +9

Jul 5, 2010
8:00 pm

#41 sudabaki©®™ Esq., L.L.C. (Patent Pending) :

Thanks Skully.

Otherwise you’ll be making lint pearls.

Rate this comment: +4

Jul 5, 2010
8:05 pm

#42 Skully :

@#39 LF: So, did your BF call him 2 Cherry Coke Can Ken?

Rate this comment: +17

Jul 5, 2010
8:10 pm

#43 VagtasticSPRHRO :

A beer cozy? Really? And if that’s just a cover up, where do you hide this thing? Or do you leave it out in the open, on your sofa? If I saw that, I would never honestly believe you “don’t actually use it, it’s a novelty item”. The men in AFG use fleshlights, and they are REALLY lonely. If you are lonlier than that, 100bucks worth of mil.best will find you many “pretty” ladies.

Rate this comment: +3

Jul 5, 2010
8:13 pm

#44 bootsychoo :

COTD? Holy freakin’ crap! But, I didn’t even PhotoShop anything.

This award will go just above my 2nd place spelling bee trophy from 7th grade, but below the handmade card from my 7yo son to “The Best Mom I Ever Had.”

Rate this comment: +24

Jul 5, 2010
8:42 pm

#45 Vile & Evil Debbie Downer :

A more humpworthy pillow:

YOU’RE WELCOME

Rate this comment: +46

Jul 5, 2010
8:52 pm

#46 hallospaceboy :

#39 leftfoot: holy crap. HOW…?

Rate this comment: +7

Jul 5, 2010
8:53 pm

#47 boomerang :

How the HELL are you supposed to get jizz (or beer, for that matter) out of cashmere?

Rate this comment: +8

Jul 5, 2010
9:02 pm

#48 Kite :

That doesn’t look like boucle to me. But whatever. It looks just as itchy and rashy.

Really, what this cushion needs is a removable, washable, er, lining. Perhaps coming in different sizes.

So Etsy has a sex toy category now? Awesome! Because I make sex toys and I’d love to rake in the handmade cash.

What, you’re telling me they don’t? Maybe I just have to think of some euphemisms, like “upcycled rubber beer-can-holder harness”.

Rate this comment: +4

Jul 5, 2010
9:03 pm

#49 sudabaki©®™ Esq., L.L.C. (Patent Pending) :

Just because I had a Claritin D and coffee today.

The pillow is cleaner. – HK

Rate this comment: +35

Jul 5, 2010
9:06 pm

#50 Mistletoe :

I’ll take “things I would not stick my dick in if I had a dick” for $100, Alex.

Rate this comment: +51

Jul 5, 2010
9:16 pm

#51 Snark-o-leptic Cesar :

Seller says he is shipping the pillow from Seattle but it looks to me like it was made in Brazil.

Rate this comment: +7

Jul 5, 2010
9:17 pm

#52 sudabaki©®™ Esq., L.L.C. (Patent Pending) :

“The pillow is cleaner. – HK”

And has more class.

Rate this comment: +21

Jul 5, 2010
9:27 pm

#53 sudabaki©®™ Esq., L.L.C. (Patent Pending) :

I realize this isn’t anatomically correct. It should be a foot face.

http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4095/4766917344_1c7eb8260b.jpg

Rate this comment: +4

Jul 5, 2010
9:39 pm

#54 leftfoot :

#42 Skully : haha no. she called him “OOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!”

Rate this comment: +6

Jul 5, 2010
10:11 pm

You know, there are some pornographic pillows that I really like. For example http://www.etsy.com/shop/schindermania

The reason this one doesn’t work for me, it’s like grandma went pornographic. Porn + granny crafts = fail.

Rate this comment: +6

Jul 5, 2010
10:32 pm

#56 leftfoot :

the mr’s leaving for 3 weeks on a biz trip. can we have a “buy leftfoot a manillow” charity auction?

hell, even the steampunk vibrator would work.

Rate this comment: +1

Jul 5, 2010
10:34 pm

#57 leftfoot :

Maybe this?

http://www.etsy.com/listing/38850488/outdoors-men-pin-up-pillow-sven

it’s only $12.

Rate this comment: 0

Jul 5, 2010
10:37 pm

#58 leftfoot :

#46 hallospaceboy : after my foray into designing porn websites (my very first “pro” gig.. yes, i laugh at my own puns) i realized just about anything that can fit into a vagina. I mean, have you seen a baby’s head?

Rate this comment: 0

Jul 5, 2010
10:59 pm

#59 flobaker :

“Good God, Woman – your vag appears to be… well, frankly, and I hate to say this, the size of a beer can!”
“Yep, but it sure is PURTY…”

On a somewhat cynical note, it’s 5 times the price of any lesser engorged pillows they are selling. Yet it’s the only one likely to make it onto Regretsy… Is lesson one in ‘how to increase your traffic when nobody is buying your pillows’ really as simple as ’stick a frilly vagina on it’?

*rushes off to buy pink cashmere scraps*

Rate this comment: +5

Jul 6, 2010
12:25 am

#60 Mookie :

Well, now. That’s just ridiculous. Everyone knows boucle is chafing.

Rate this comment: +3

Jul 6, 2010
3:02 am

#61 devlin :

#3 I have.

Just sayin’.

Rate this comment: 0

Jul 6, 2010
6:58 am

#62 BillsBayou :

What a great fucking pillow!

Rate this comment: +7

Jul 6, 2010
7:59 am

#63 Stretch65 :

I hear they are remaking the movie PILLOW TALK.
And boy if this pillow could talk…

Rate this comment: +3

Jul 6, 2010
8:01 am

#64 BillsBayou :

That “Pocket” is a great place to hide your jewelery. Who in their right mind would reach into THAT?

Rate this comment: +12

Jul 6, 2010
8:02 am

#65 BillsBayou :

“…the gently yawning mouth…”

If she’s yawning, you’re doing it wrong.

Rate this comment: +13

Jul 6, 2010
8:06 am

#66 BillsBayou :

Anatomically, this is the vagina of a woman who’s been wrecked. The opening should be lower. Not the entire slit. And elastic. Not the size of a beer can, but the size of a dime; ABLE to accommodate a beer can.

If you EVER meet a woman built like this, give her the name of a good malpractice attorney.

Rate this comment: +5

Jul 6, 2010
8:38 am

#67 pavlovsdaughter :

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

Rate this comment: -8

Jul 6, 2010
9:25 am

#68 Recovering Crack Baby :

#58 leftfoot : a baby is suppose to come out of the vagina…not in. AND it takes hours to make that happen!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rate this comment: +3

Jul 6, 2010
9:27 am

#69 Recovering Crack Baby :

OH and usually a good stitching up down there after that happens.

Rate this comment: -2

Jul 6, 2010
10:12 am

#70 Skully :

@#24 VEDD: The anus is for poker chips: liquor in the front, poker in the rear.

Rate this comment: +18

Jul 6, 2010
11:49 am

#71 Juuc Box :

Lady Lager, anyone?

http://static.fleshlight.com/landing/siac/lady.png

Rate this comment: +2

Jul 6, 2010
12:15 pm

#72 Snark-o-leptic Cesar :

This seller is a compelling argument against abstinence.

This is one of the worst cases of virginity I have ever seen. When he finally touches a real vagina he will probably die right on the spot.

Rate this comment: +4

Jul 6, 2010
1:16 pm

#73 ChelseaGW :

Damn. My budget for vagina pillows this month is only $90.

Rate this comment: +14

Jul 6, 2010
1:26 pm

#74 monkeysnacks :

nothing better than the feeling of you balls smacking up against burlap…

Rate this comment: +8

Jul 7, 2010
12:02 am

#75 PussDaddy :

Fuck this pillow!

Rate this comment: +4

Jul 7, 2010
5:27 am

#76 Captain Pasty :

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

Rate this comment: -3

Jul 8, 2010
2:34 pm

#77 tuttle88 :

Is it washable? I’m gonna need a quick answer on this one.

Rate this comment: +5

Jul 15, 2010
4:37 am

#78 Polexia :

The gently yawning mouth isn’t very impressed with the size of your beer can.

Rate this comment: +1

Aug 2, 2010
9:55 am

#79 Erin :

ahhhhh yeas . A “Boucle’Fake Lay”. That’s fancy-speak for “Humpin’ Pillow.”

Rate this comment: 0