Does this person think a penis or a vagina is beer can sized? Or is that just the convenient sewing model they had available when this craft idea popped into their head? Either way=eeewww.
Any man who is interested in the “supple Boucle”, the “black lace embellishment swaddling a satin-lined opening”, & the “pink cashmere lining” is not interested in vaginas of any kind.
For a hundred bucks a fella could get a blow up doll OR a fleshlight (A far better “portable” option) and enough beer to obliterate any memory of using said sex toy.
Or he could get 3 lap dances, or a cheap hooker.
There are just so many better and equally… uhh… satisfying ways to spend a hundred bucks, and none of them require shipping and handling.
Esmeralda, I think any of those ways would have to be *way more* satisfying than sticking your working part into a cashmere hole big enough to fit a beer can.
This is what abstinence councelors use to train boys to hate sex. The most UN-SEXY, itchy-looking fabric, with a beer-can sized orifice. Nice and ice-cold down in there after holding your brewski, too.
YouNeedPillows’ Profile
Bio
Curious Crafter in the Pacific Northwest creating odd, one-of-a-kind creations and clever crafts for any occasion. My fabric selection is truly random; it consists of whatever material I receive from my sources. This assures that the materials I get are unique and I’ll most likely never get that material again, so snatch it up while you can!
Male
>Why do I think his “sources” are things fished out of the Salvation Army donation box?
If the maker of this product was REALLY creative he’d know that buying a round of drinks round midnight and talking with a british accent would get him the real thing and save about $60.00.
A beer cozy? Really? And if that’s just a cover up, where do you hide this thing? Or do you leave it out in the open, on your sofa? If I saw that, I would never honestly believe you “don’t actually use it, it’s a novelty item”. The men in AFG use fleshlights, and they are REALLY lonely. If you are lonlier than that, 100bucks worth of mil.best will find you many “pretty” ladies.
COTD? Holy freakin’ crap! But, I didn’t even PhotoShop anything.
This award will go just above my 2nd place spelling bee trophy from 7th grade, but below the handmade card from my 7yo son to “The Best Mom I Ever Had.”
#46 hallospaceboy : after my foray into designing porn websites (my very first “pro” gig.. yes, i laugh at my own puns) i realized just about anything that can fit into a vagina. I mean, have you seen a baby’s head?
“Good God, Woman – your vag appears to be… well, frankly, and I hate to say this, the size of a beer can!”
“Yep, but it sure is PURTY…”
On a somewhat cynical note, it’s 5 times the price of any lesser engorged pillows they are selling. Yet it’s the only one likely to make it onto Regretsy… Is lesson one in ‘how to increase your traffic when nobody is buying your pillows’ really as simple as ‘stick a frilly vagina on it’?
Anatomically, this is the vagina of a woman who’s been wrecked. The opening should be lower. Not the entire slit. And elastic. Not the size of a beer can, but the size of a dime; ABLE to accommodate a beer can.
If you EVER meet a woman built like this, give her the name of a good malpractice attorney.
July 5, 2010 at 4:37 pm
…Sure, if “beer can” is a euphemism for “penis”.
July 5, 2010 at 4:37 pm
Fully operational? What the hell do they do with their beer cans?
July 5, 2010 at 4:39 pm
Also, I have yet to come across a man whose junk is the circumference of a beer can when erect.
July 5, 2010 at 4:39 pm
Does this person think a penis or a vagina is beer can sized? Or is that just the convenient sewing model they had available when this craft idea popped into their head? Either way=eeewww.
July 5, 2010 at 4:43 pm
#3, yeah, and if you find him, let me know.
July 5, 2010 at 4:48 pm
If your vagina is beer can sized I have something for, it’s called kegels.
July 5, 2010 at 4:49 pm
#5 – I feel I should’ve prefaced that with “In my limited sexual experience…”
July 5, 2010 at 4:51 pm
Where the hell was this when I was looking for a graduation gift for my son?
Dammit.
July 5, 2010 at 4:55 pm
I’ll never look at my pink cashmere sweater the same way again.
July 5, 2010 at 4:59 pm
Gently yawning? If a vag is gently yawning, it probably doesn’t feel like having your “beer can” anywhere near it.
July 5, 2010 at 5:00 pm
Any man who is interested in the “supple Boucle”, the “black lace embellishment swaddling a satin-lined opening”, & the “pink cashmere lining” is not interested in vaginas of any kind.
July 5, 2010 at 5:01 pm
For a hundred bucks a fella could get a blow up doll OR a fleshlight (A far better “portable” option) and enough beer to obliterate any memory of using said sex toy.
Or he could get 3 lap dances, or a cheap hooker.
There are just so many better and equally… uhh… satisfying ways to spend a hundred bucks, and none of them require shipping and handling.
Also, as a beer cozy, this looks mighty unstable.
July 5, 2010 at 5:04 pm
Oh wow. I just got the punny title and spat out my coffee.
July 5, 2010 at 5:07 pm
Esmeralda, I think any of those ways would have to be *way more* satisfying than sticking your working part into a cashmere hole big enough to fit a beer can.
July 5, 2010 at 5:12 pm
July 5, 2010 at 5:22 pm
Instructions for the uncircumcised: empty lint trap after after use.
July 5, 2010 at 5:23 pm
Gold Leader: It’s no good, I can’t maneuver!
Gold Five: Stay on target.
Gold Leader: *We’re too close!*
Gold Five: Stay on target!
Gold Leader: [shouts] Loosen up!
July 5, 2010 at 5:24 pm
even though it’s “satin lined” or whatever, it looks like it would be rough and itchy upon insertion…
chafing, anyone?
July 5, 2010 at 5:26 pm
I’m afraid this vagillow will haunt me in my sleep.
July 5, 2010 at 5:28 pm
This brings back memories of the old ‘Busch Gardens’….not.
What the supremely unskilled & untalented do to sell crap: stick a vagoo on any old thing.
I’m no man , but if this was the best I could do in the way of ‘best friend’, I’d drink myself to death.
July 5, 2010 at 5:33 pm
Seems like if it was “fully operational,” you’d have a nasty smelling pillow after a day or two. From the spilled beer, of course.
July 5, 2010 at 5:35 pm
Bad form, do they know how difficult it is to clean cashmere?
July 5, 2010 at 5:42 pm
This is what abstinence councelors use to train boys to hate sex. The most UN-SEXY, itchy-looking fabric, with a beer-can sized orifice. Nice and ice-cold down in there after holding your brewski, too.
Anybody getting turned on? Didn’t think so.
July 5, 2010 at 5:45 pm
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the back?
THERE’S AN ANUS.
All sarcasm aside, I do like the lace pubes and ruffled labia.
July 5, 2010 at 5:57 pm
My labia would get ruffled too if some jerk off tried to stick a cold one anywhere near it.
July 5, 2010 at 5:57 pm
@ razberries: I looked up “supple” in the dictionary… it read “supple: adj. 1. opposite of boucle.”
July 5, 2010 at 6:30 pm
Disturbing in an itchy/overpriced/useless, fugly piece of shit sort of way.
July 5, 2010 at 6:44 pm
Gentlemen: if the size and sensation of this works for you, please don’t call.
July 5, 2010 at 6:48 pm
Three words: Lancaster Gift Shop
July 5, 2010 at 6:49 pm
Oh shit, I just notice the price. You don’t need that hole to get fucked if you pay that much for this monstrosity.
July 5, 2010 at 6:53 pm
YouNeedPillows’ Profile
Bio
Curious Crafter in the Pacific Northwest creating odd, one-of-a-kind creations and clever crafts for any occasion. My fabric selection is truly random; it consists of whatever material I receive from my sources. This assures that the materials I get are unique and I’ll most likely never get that material again, so snatch it up while you can!
Male
>Why do I think his “sources” are things fished out of the Salvation Army donation box?
July 5, 2010 at 6:56 pm
It isn’t often that you see the words “supple boucle” and “vagina” in the same sentence.
My mother in law likes to use a coozie for her beer cans. This gives me a whole new idea for Christmas!
July 5, 2010 at 6:57 pm
Yeah-’SNATCH it up while you CAN ‘ EWWWWWWWWWWWW
July 5, 2010 at 7:02 pm
If the maker of this product was REALLY creative he’d know that buying a round of drinks round midnight and talking with a british accent would get him the real thing and save about $60.00.
July 5, 2010 at 7:10 pm
I’d like to see the one that holds the glass beer bottles, please.
July 5, 2010 at 7:18 pm
Nothing says ‘sexy’ like a little fabric friction burn, no? Oh wait — no, not ‘sexy’. . .what’s the word. . .’desperate’, that’s it!
July 5, 2010 at 7:18 pm
Just imagine the 6 pack version- a bolster vagillow that will not bolster your sex life.
July 5, 2010 at 7:34 pm
$100.00 ? I can’t afford that.
Do you have any used ones?
July 5, 2010 at 7:48 pm
#3 hallospaceboy : I actually have.. and my best friend in HS lost her virginity to him. He was called “2 Coke can Ken”.
July 5, 2010 at 7:57 pm
Actually, this should be called “Manllow’s Best Friend.”
And LOL at #16 Suda!
July 5, 2010 at 8:00 pm
Thanks Skully.
Otherwise you’ll be making lint pearls.
July 5, 2010 at 8:05 pm
@#39 LF: So, did your BF call him 2 Cherry Coke Can Ken?
July 5, 2010 at 8:10 pm
A beer cozy? Really? And if that’s just a cover up, where do you hide this thing? Or do you leave it out in the open, on your sofa? If I saw that, I would never honestly believe you “don’t actually use it, it’s a novelty item”. The men in AFG use fleshlights, and they are REALLY lonely. If you are lonlier than that, 100bucks worth of mil.best will find you many “pretty” ladies.
July 5, 2010 at 8:13 pm
COTD? Holy freakin’ crap! But, I didn’t even PhotoShop anything.
This award will go just above my 2nd place spelling bee trophy from 7th grade, but below the handmade card from my 7yo son to “The Best Mom I Ever Had.”
July 5, 2010 at 8:42 pm
A more humpworthy pillow:
YOU’RE WELCOME
July 5, 2010 at 8:52 pm
#39 leftfoot: holy crap. HOW…?
July 5, 2010 at 8:53 pm
How the HELL are you supposed to get jizz (or beer, for that matter) out of cashmere?
July 5, 2010 at 9:02 pm
That doesn’t look like boucle to me. But whatever. It looks just as itchy and rashy.
Really, what this cushion needs is a removable, washable, er, lining. Perhaps coming in different sizes.
So Etsy has a sex toy category now? Awesome! Because I make sex toys and I’d love to rake in the handmade cash.
What, you’re telling me they don’t? Maybe I just have to think of some euphemisms, like “upcycled rubber beer-can-holder harness”.
July 5, 2010 at 9:03 pm
Just because I had a Claritin D and coffee today.
The pillow is cleaner. – HK
July 5, 2010 at 9:06 pm
I’ll take “things I would not stick my dick in if I had a dick” for $100, Alex.
July 5, 2010 at 9:16 pm
Seller says he is shipping the pillow from Seattle but it looks to me like it was made in Brazil.
July 5, 2010 at 9:17 pm
“The pillow is cleaner. – HK”
And has more class.
July 5, 2010 at 9:27 pm
I realize this isn’t anatomically correct. It should be a foot face.
http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4095/4766917344_1c7eb8260b.jpg
July 5, 2010 at 9:39 pm
#42 Skully : haha no. she called him “OOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!”
July 5, 2010 at 10:11 pm
You know, there are some pornographic pillows that I really like. For example http://www.etsy.com/shop/schindermania
The reason this one doesn’t work for me, it’s like grandma went pornographic. Porn + granny crafts = fail.
July 5, 2010 at 10:32 pm
the mr’s leaving for 3 weeks on a biz trip. can we have a “buy leftfoot a manillow” charity auction?
hell, even the steampunk vibrator would work.
July 5, 2010 at 10:34 pm
Maybe this?
http://www.etsy.com/listing/38850488/outdoors-men-pin-up-pillow-sven
it’s only $12.
July 5, 2010 at 10:37 pm
#46 hallospaceboy : after my foray into designing porn websites (my very first “pro” gig.. yes, i laugh at my own puns) i realized just about anything that can fit into a vagina. I mean, have you seen a baby’s head?
July 5, 2010 at 10:59 pm
“Good God, Woman – your vag appears to be… well, frankly, and I hate to say this, the size of a beer can!”
“Yep, but it sure is PURTY…”
On a somewhat cynical note, it’s 5 times the price of any lesser engorged pillows they are selling. Yet it’s the only one likely to make it onto Regretsy… Is lesson one in ‘how to increase your traffic when nobody is buying your pillows’ really as simple as ‘stick a frilly vagina on it’?
*rushes off to buy pink cashmere scraps*
July 6, 2010 at 12:25 am
Well, now. That’s just ridiculous. Everyone knows boucle is chafing.
July 6, 2010 at 3:02 am
#3 I have.
Just sayin’.
July 6, 2010 at 6:58 am
What a great fucking pillow!
July 6, 2010 at 7:59 am
I hear they are remaking the movie PILLOW TALK.
And boy if this pillow could talk…
July 6, 2010 at 8:01 am
That “Pocket” is a great place to hide your jewelery. Who in their right mind would reach into THAT?
July 6, 2010 at 8:02 am
“…the gently yawning mouth…”
If she’s yawning, you’re doing it wrong.
July 6, 2010 at 8:06 am
Anatomically, this is the vagina of a woman who’s been wrecked. The opening should be lower. Not the entire slit. And elastic. Not the size of a beer can, but the size of a dime; ABLE to accommodate a beer can.
If you EVER meet a woman built like this, give her the name of a good malpractice attorney.
July 6, 2010 at 8:38 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
July 6, 2010 at 9:25 am
#58 leftfoot : a baby is suppose to come out of the vagina…not in. AND it takes hours to make that happen!!!!!!!!!!!!!
July 6, 2010 at 9:27 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
July 6, 2010 at 10:12 am
@#24 VEDD: The anus is for poker chips: liquor in the front, poker in the rear.
July 6, 2010 at 11:49 am
Lady Lager, anyone?
http://static.fleshlight.com/landing/siac/lady.png
July 6, 2010 at 12:15 pm
This seller is a compelling argument against abstinence.
This is one of the worst cases of virginity I have ever seen. When he finally touches a real vagina he will probably die right on the spot.
July 6, 2010 at 1:16 pm
Damn. My budget for vagina pillows this month is only $90.
July 6, 2010 at 1:26 pm
nothing better than the feeling of you balls smacking up against burlap…
July 7, 2010 at 12:02 am
Fuck this pillow!
July 7, 2010 at 5:27 am
That thing is fully operational?? It’s a trap!
July 8, 2010 at 2:34 pm
Is it washable? I’m gonna need a quick answer on this one.
July 15, 2010 at 4:37 am
The gently yawning mouth isn’t very impressed with the size of your beer can.
August 2, 2010 at 9:55 am
ahhhhh yeas . A “Boucle’Fake Lay”. That’s fancy-speak for “Humpin’ Pillow.”