Captain Sparrow never actually stroked Minnie Driver’s hair with a mannequin hand after losing his lower jaw, but I made it happen in my artistic ability.
I thought it was two dudes kissing upon first glance.
Looks like a deflated version of the guy from the Captain Morgan’s rum trying to give mouth to mouth to one of those CPR dummies…
Wait… I was pretty sure they DID kiss.. not in the first movie, but I’m pretty sure that it caused a big uproar in the plot..blah..blah I’d like to know why his nose goes stright to his two head. The trout doesn’t end @ the mouth, his whole head is that way.. and he looks like he fully intends to vomit in her mouth.
The sad thing is, they really do have some talent but need to be a little more dedicated as an artist and not be happy with the first draft. They need like 23 more drafts to fix the problems. Then perhaps it would be worth closer to $150 instead of it’s current market value of $15.
To be fair, Captain Jack DID make that expression several times in the movie. And it DID look like he was about to… I dunno, barf up a rowboat? Shrivel his head down into his neck?
But even if he had made that face during “the kiss”, it would hardly be worthy of capturing. Or, you know, making happen with ones artistic ability.
#22 Ducksnew, that I would pay cash money to see.
Also, this “artist” needs to stop attempting hands. Forever.
At first glance i thought it was Catain Jack Sparrow’s hand but now I’m not sure. It wouldn’t quite work with the way they are standing. Who’s hand is that??????
Can you really call it an “origonal” when you’re using licensed characters from a Disney movie?
And trust me kids, Disney’s got people who can (and do) crack down on this sort of shenanigans (shenanigan? Shenaniganery? Fuck it, you know what I mean).
J.depp “yeah, looks like thrush, I mean perhaps a second opinion, wow, you have a lot of fillings. Did you have your Uvula removed? Hmm, i’d go in and get it checked. You know, I’m going in to get my nose pulled out of my forehead, you can tag along.”
I have just realized that my full contribution to the Innernets today has been an opinion on the correct form of the future perfect tense of “to smite” and two criticisms of peoples’ choice of preposition. I need a new hobby, but am torn between crotcheting really skinny scarves and painting, with a brush jammed up my left nostril, acrylic-on-board portraits of celebrities wearing historical costume and holding pugicorns.
What this drawing needs is some more salivation. Like, maybe some wet, stringy bands of slobber pouring out of the Deppsters mouth. That’s the only thing that would make this sexier.
Isn’t his hand on backwards? I’m referring to whatever hand seems to be poking into the back of the jawbone of that person who apparently just had their Wisdom Teeth cut out.
assuming that’s the captain’s hand gently cradling his/her/the kissee’s head, i believe i’m seeing fingernails on the same side of the hand as the palm….
to sum up, either the hand is drawn backwards or the captain has gumby hands.
Hey! That’s great! I needed to see some bad gay porn foreplay before lunch….wait…you mean, someone thinks this is art? And it’s not two dudes? That ruins my entire day. *wimpers pitifully*
Perhaps the look on his face is the result of having just noticed his gruesome hand? That would explain several of the things wrong with this (not all, but several).
Vile & Evil Debbie Downer
June 29, 2010 at 12:41 pm
I guess it’s a testament to my mental history that I really had to think hard before deciding I HADN’T hallucinated posting a Comic Sans masterpiece. Way to go, fucking around with the wacko’s head, you insensitive regretsy person.
In the event this artist stumbles upon Regretsy, here’s some advice:
If you want to sell drawings of movie stars, make them recognizable or at least accurate. No (modern) human has a forehead or jawline like that rendering of Depp.
Personally, if someone I was intent upon kissing looked like he was about to throw up on me like Jack Sparrow over there, I would get myself as far away from vomit range as possible. But maybe that’s just me.
No one’s mentioned that thing on her head – it looks like a giant abalone. And why is she twice his size? Like Tamara (#11) pointed out, it’s all very Escher-y. His hand is impossible in the physical world and she’s actually two feet closer to us, so they’ll never connect.
It’s amazing what some people can make happen in their artistic abilty.
If I remember correctly, they kissed just before she left the ship. Jack had those fake eyes painted on his eyelids so it looked like his eyes were open when they kissed. As much as I like Johnny Depp, those eyelids were freaky.
It was previously mentioned that the kiss DID happen. Either way, I am on the verge of peeing my pants with the comments on this one. And i’d like to think we’ve all been in the position of being THAT drunk, needing to vomit, and having no idea how close you are or aren’t to the other persons face, and thinking, wtf happened to my hand? Really..anybody..just me then?..alright.
Thank you so much for Zazzle gear. I immediately ordered a Tiny Tote to use for my crafting & knitting. On it will go any number of buttons, etc. that random other people with “artistic ability” have made. Bling!
June 29, 2010 at 9:33 am
I thought this was Captain Jack kissing William Turner.
Although, in this portrait, it does look like Captain Jack could fully open his mouth to consume the entire head of whoever it is he’s kissing.
June 29, 2010 at 9:35 am
could he possibly look more disgusted?
June 29, 2010 at 9:36 am
That must have been some boating accident-who needs a lower jaw when there is no brain to send signals to the area?
June 29, 2010 at 9:37 am
This is origonal, I’ll give it that. I never knew Johnny Depp had such a sexy trout mouth.
June 29, 2010 at 9:37 am
That looks as much like Minnie as that cock and balls lip balm holder does.
You know why: “I made this happen in my artistic abillity”
caution: actual drawing provided may be sticky
June 29, 2010 at 9:37 am
Christ… If THAT’S what he thinks kissing looks like, seeing this guy fuck would be hysterical.
June 29, 2010 at 9:38 am
If Elizabeth really look like this, Jack Sparrow wouldn’t kiss her either (and vice versa).
June 29, 2010 at 9:38 am
I made this happen with my own artistic ability? Holy crap, why does Captain Jack look like he’s mortified, and why does that lady look like a dude?
Boy, only $150.00 and mgrubb4 doesn’t even tell us what size this great work of art clocks in at… whatta surprise bargain.
June 29, 2010 at 9:40 am
that’s the same look I made when the dude who took me to Steak and Shake for a date tried to kiss me.
June 29, 2010 at 9:42 am
The Capt. looks like a cross between a Taliban fighter & a puppy with distemper.
June 29, 2010 at 9:42 am
Wow, that hand is sorta like an Escher.
June 29, 2010 at 9:42 am
why is keith richards about to kiss a young boy with a garden hose on his head?
June 29, 2010 at 9:42 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
June 29, 2010 at 9:45 am
Looks like a kiss was gonna happen then bad breath got in the way.
June 29, 2010 at 9:45 am
I thought it was two dudes kissing upon first glance.
Looks like a deflated version of the guy from the Captain Morgan’s rum trying to give mouth to mouth to one of those CPR dummies…
June 29, 2010 at 9:48 am
“I made this happen with my artistic ability” is going to be my new, all-purpose answer for EVERYTHING!
June 29, 2010 at 9:49 am
I can use it multipurpose!
June 29, 2010 at 9:50 am
Shut up…they are so not kissing. He is pulling her head back and looking in her mouth to check for loot.
June 29, 2010 at 9:51 am
Wait… I was pretty sure they DID kiss.. not in the first movie, but I’m pretty sure that it caused a big uproar in the plot..blah..blah I’d like to know why his nose goes stright to his two head. The trout doesn’t end @ the mouth, his whole head is that way.. and he looks like he fully intends to vomit in her mouth.
June 29, 2010 at 9:51 am
Perhaps he is seeing how deep her throat is…something cause this is not even remotely close to capturing “The Kiss”
June 29, 2010 at 9:52 am
This is their only item for sale?
June 29, 2010 at 9:52 am
I thought it was 2000′s era Johnny Depp about to kiss 1980′s era Johnny Depp.
Which struck me as both weird and fascinating
June 29, 2010 at 9:53 am
It also appears someone tried to jam Jack’s nose up into his brain but sadly failed.
June 29, 2010 at 9:54 am
#20 raven : This is their only item for sale?
150.00…that is enough for an OK supply of dope to do another. Some people just seem to work that way around that ETSY pipe, gets ‘em every time.
June 29, 2010 at 9:55 am
Yah leftfoot his nose is a bit M.Jacksonish.
June 29, 2010 at 9:56 am
#15 whitman, “I made THIS happen with my artistic ability”
This needs to be on a plain shirt. Just the saying, nothing more (in the most boring font we can find). Can we Zazzle it?
June 29, 2010 at 9:56 am
Captain Jack looks like he just spotted something awful in Elizabeth’s mouth and it reconsidering that kiss.
June 29, 2010 at 10:00 am
I didn’t realize it was supposed to be his hand until I read the comments. I thought it was some kind of earring…shit you not.
June 29, 2010 at 10:04 am
#15 and #25: Stick with the “in my artistic ability” of the original to keep that “WTF does that even mean?” flavor.
June 29, 2010 at 10:06 am
The sad thing is, they really do have some talent but need to be a little more dedicated as an artist and not be happy with the first draft. They need like 23 more drafts to fix the problems. Then perhaps it would be worth closer to $150 instead of it’s current market value of $15.
/end channeling art school
June 29, 2010 at 10:06 am
That is really sad I had no idea Johnny Depp had a stroke.
June 29, 2010 at 10:07 am
2 Pirates, 1 Cup.
June 29, 2010 at 10:12 am
Why is the rum always gone?
I could really use some.
June 29, 2010 at 10:12 am
To be fair, Captain Jack DID make that expression several times in the movie. And it DID look like he was about to… I dunno, barf up a rowboat? Shrivel his head down into his neck?
But even if he had made that face during “the kiss”, it would hardly be worthy of capturing. Or, you know, making happen with ones artistic ability.
#22 Ducksnew, that I would pay cash money to see.
Also, this “artist” needs to stop attempting hands. Forever.
June 29, 2010 at 10:14 am
P.S. Yes yes yes yes YES to the “I made this happen in my artistic ability” t-shirts.
June 29, 2010 at 10:18 am
“This is an origonal of Catain” DID anyone else notice the missing letters. It is now the case of the missing letters.
June 29, 2010 at 10:19 am
Captain Jack Sparrow’s broken hand could explain the shock and horror on his face.
At first glance I thought it was Orlando bloom’s character, not Keira knightley’s.
June 29, 2010 at 10:20 am
ORIGONAL- An STD of the mouth. Doxin..can we get some Doxin over here so these fucker’s can kiss????
June 29, 2010 at 10:27 am
Remember, when you make something happen in your artistic ability always, always shout waaa laaa!
June 29, 2010 at 10:27 am
*original*?
No.
Aboriginal. With Bells Palsy.
June 29, 2010 at 10:28 am
So why is Captian Jack about to throw up Will Turner’s mouth? Is this some sort of German fetish that I am not aware of?
June 29, 2010 at 10:30 am
It looks like someone put a wig on one of those singing fish wall decor things.
Oh, and why is Johnny Depp’s hand doing that weird thing?
June 29, 2010 at 10:31 am
It’s “abilty”. Come on people, lose those spelling skills!
June 29, 2010 at 10:34 am
At first glance i thought it was Catain Jack Sparrow’s hand but now I’m not sure. It wouldn’t quite work with the way they are standing. Who’s hand is that??????
June 29, 2010 at 10:36 am
Maybe right before they kissed he yelled “All hands on deck!”
June 29, 2010 at 10:39 am
Can you really call it an “origonal” when you’re using licensed characters from a Disney movie?
And trust me kids, Disney’s got people who can (and do) crack down on this sort of shenanigans (shenanigan? Shenaniganery? Fuck it, you know what I mean).
June 29, 2010 at 10:46 am
J.depp “yeah, looks like thrush, I mean perhaps a second opinion, wow, you have a lot of fillings. Did you have your Uvula removed? Hmm, i’d go in and get it checked. You know, I’m going in to get my nose pulled out of my forehead, you can tag along.”
June 29, 2010 at 10:46 am
I have just realized that my full contribution to the Innernets today has been an opinion on the correct form of the future perfect tense of “to smite” and two criticisms of peoples’ choice of preposition. I need a new hobby, but am torn between crotcheting really skinny scarves and painting, with a brush jammed up my left nostril, acrylic-on-board portraits of celebrities wearing historical costume and holding pugicorns.
June 29, 2010 at 10:48 am
Until Disney does crack down it’s ours’ to mock!
June 29, 2010 at 10:48 am
Sigh… all the time spent shading her brow and the result is a 5 o’clock shadow that needs some serious waxing, stat.
June 29, 2010 at 10:50 am
What this drawing needs is some more salivation. Like, maybe some wet, stringy bands of slobber pouring out of the Deppsters mouth. That’s the only thing that would make this sexier.
June 29, 2010 at 10:51 am
Isn’t his hand on backwards? I’m referring to whatever hand seems to be poking into the back of the jawbone of that person who apparently just had their Wisdom Teeth cut out.
June 29, 2010 at 10:51 am
Sometimes an artistic license should be revoked.
June 29, 2010 at 10:51 am
#43 LeeLooDallas: You meant “…loose those spelling skills”, right?
June 29, 2010 at 10:52 am
assuming that’s the captain’s hand gently cradling his/her/the kissee’s head, i believe i’m seeing fingernails on the same side of the hand as the palm….
to sum up, either the hand is drawn backwards or the captain has gumby hands.
June 29, 2010 at 10:53 am
ok, well, what #52 said…
June 29, 2010 at 10:58 am
I remember having the same look on my face when I had food poisoning and watched the movie.
Nobody tried to kiss me though.
And if the artist “made this happen” with artistic ability, I’m frightened to think of what else can be made to happen.
June 29, 2010 at 11:01 am
@Raz
This drawing is clearly a “do not resuscitate” case.
June 29, 2010 at 11:09 am
Hey! That’s great! I needed to see some bad gay porn foreplay before lunch….wait…you mean, someone thinks this is art? And it’s not two dudes? That ruins my entire day. *wimpers pitifully*
June 29, 2010 at 11:19 am
Can you hear the sound they’re making, too? “Aaaaaaahhhyyyaaaaaaaauuuuuuuggggh!”
June 29, 2010 at 11:20 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
June 29, 2010 at 11:20 am
The man on man deep throat stare here makes me think a better name for this display of artistic abilty:
“Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl Anal Bead”.
Now that’s origonal.
June 29, 2010 at 11:22 am
Perhaps the look on his face is the result of having just noticed his gruesome hand? That would explain several of the things wrong with this (not all, but several).
June 29, 2010 at 11:22 am
They both look like they’re about to throw up
June 29, 2010 at 11:35 am
At this point I’m pretty sure we all want to throw up.
June 29, 2010 at 11:42 am
Are they sharing a burp? If so, whose is it?
“I had halibut for lunch.”
“Did you now?”
*BRRRRAAAAP*
“So you did.”
(assign the dialog to either character)
June 29, 2010 at 12:18 pm
I’m really excited about the Zazzle. I’d like stickers, that I could slap on EVERYTHING. Especially my child.
June 29, 2010 at 12:19 pm
Dammit HK, mine was copyrited first. I’LL SUE!
That’s why I deleted your comment. Now you have no proof. – HK
June 29, 2010 at 12:24 pm
“Send. More. Paramedics.”
June 29, 2010 at 12:35 pm
# 68 @ VEDD -can we get a witness? Yes we can!
June 29, 2010 at 12:41 pm
I guess it’s a testament to my mental history that I really had to think hard before deciding I HADN’T hallucinated posting a Comic Sans masterpiece. Way to go, fucking around with the wacko’s head, you insensitive regretsy person.
June 29, 2010 at 12:51 pm
In the event this artist stumbles upon Regretsy, here’s some advice:
If you want to sell drawings of movie stars, make them recognizable or at least accurate. No (modern) human has a forehead or jawline like that rendering of Depp.
June 29, 2010 at 12:52 pm
I’m pretty sure that’s a right hand on his left arm.
June 29, 2010 at 12:59 pm
No April – it’s “Abilty”!!!!!
June 29, 2010 at 1:00 pm
I want to buy the tote. But only if it’s spelled correctly, which is really incorrectly.
June 29, 2010 at 1:19 pm
The Prelude: Two pirates, one upchuck
June 29, 2010 at 1:29 pm
http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4123/4746405737_893f8ebd2e_o.jpg
June 29, 2010 at 1:36 pm
#46 I think the words you’re looking for is “unlicensed fuckery”
“I made this happen in my artistic abillity”
I sure glad they didn’t use their firm grasp of the english language
June 29, 2010 at 1:43 pm
Clearly she isn’t kissing him–she’s using her awesome breathy superpowers to melt him, starting with his hand.
June 29, 2010 at 2:36 pm
um *raises finger* that kiss DID happen. not until like the end of the 2nd movie but it did happen so there!
June 29, 2010 at 2:53 pm
Personally, if someone I was intent upon kissing looked like he was about to throw up on me like Jack Sparrow over there, I would get myself as far away from vomit range as possible. But maybe that’s just me.
And what’s a Catain?
June 29, 2010 at 2:53 pm
No one’s mentioned that thing on her head – it looks like a giant abalone. And why is she twice his size? Like Tamara (#11) pointed out, it’s all very Escher-y. His hand is impossible in the physical world and she’s actually two feet closer to us, so they’ll never connect.
It’s amazing what some people can make happen in their artistic abilty.
June 29, 2010 at 3:03 pm
As the Golden Age of piracy abruptly descended into the Bronze Age of dentistry, Catain Sparrow prepared for the future.
June 29, 2010 at 3:29 pm
I don’t know how you could possibly make Johnny Depp look bad but CONGRATULATIONS you really F’d this S up.
June 29, 2010 at 3:29 pm
You all have made me laugh til I cried. These comments are the funniest! You have made this happen in your artistic ability.
June 29, 2010 at 5:30 pm
If I may quote Rodney Dangerfield: “The last time I saw a mouth like that it had a HOOK in it!”
Rest in peace, Rodney. I miss you……
June 29, 2010 at 5:34 pm
#81 redredred – a catain is the person who drives the boat when your on the waiter, like, the ocen.
June 29, 2010 at 5:37 pm
If I remember correctly, they kissed just before she left the ship. Jack had those fake eyes painted on his eyelids so it looked like his eyes were open when they kissed. As much as I like Johnny Depp, those eyelids were freaky.
June 29, 2010 at 5:47 pm
Johnny Depp in that picture reminds me of one of these guys:
http://www.la2day.com/images/page_image/YipYip.jpg
June 29, 2010 at 6:53 pm
So glad this got Zazzled … I’m gonna have a new tote bag for my knitting, and the other bitches can suck my needle.
June 29, 2010 at 7:57 pm
#87 knittin-kitten: Ah thank you. Those fancy Martime terms confuse me sometimes.
June 29, 2010 at 9:02 pm
It was previously mentioned that the kiss DID happen. Either way, I am on the verge of peeing my pants with the comments on this one. And i’d like to think we’ve all been in the position of being THAT drunk, needing to vomit, and having no idea how close you are or aren’t to the other persons face, and thinking, wtf happened to my hand? Really..anybody..just me then?..alright.
June 29, 2010 at 10:47 pm
Just doing my job redredred, just doing my job.
June 30, 2010 at 1:56 pm
“I made it happen in my artistic ability” is what I will say after producing my next dump on the toilet.
Best. Line. Ever.
June 30, 2010 at 4:54 pm
Why do they both look like they want to throw up?
June 30, 2010 at 6:45 pm
Kiss happened. Comments hilarious. Totally going to steal the “in my artistic ability” line. At least we got THAT much out of this person’s “talent.”
June 30, 2010 at 11:02 pm
Johnny Depp looks less like he’s stroking hair and more like he’s just stroking. Somebody call 911.
July 1, 2010 at 1:38 pm
Thank you so much for Zazzle gear. I immediately ordered a Tiny Tote to use for my crafting & knitting. On it will go any number of buttons, etc. that random other people with “artistic ability” have made. Bling!
July 6, 2010 at 5:28 am
HOLY SHIT JOHNNY DEPP IS HAVING A STROKE!!!!!
D’=
August 2, 2010 at 10:13 am
I am heading to zazzle as soon as I get home from work. I laughed so hard that I had to walk outside for a minute to get it together.
December 18, 2010 at 2:06 pm
Some of these comments are priceless.
April 22, 2011 at 11:24 pm
Jack’s just feeding her like a baby bird, what’s so wrong with that?