I can only hope & pray that Mr. Carpaneda
gets a case of carpal tunnel syndrome from repetitive motion and resultant severe blistercockitis & rides off very very far into the sunset.
Just out of curiosity, where do you suppose the “artist” who created this envisioned it being displayed? Having a difficult time picturing this on the mantel!
It’s not enough that cows have to be treated like a lump of meat with no feelings, no consciousness, no soul, now they have to be around this hideous lump of meet jerking off his bloody lump of meat.
i love that our hirsute farmer friend couldn’t be bothered w/clothes but kept the hat, the boots, and the kerchief. that’s totally how i like to spend my days in the barn…
tell ya what, add me as a f’ville neighbor and i’ll gift you the lube if you PROMISE to gift back the ribbed cock sleeve. it’s rare and a must-have or the crops just won’t come in…
thx!
#20 jaqthehat: I’m almost certain that this is not erotic. I’m about…300% sure that this is not remotely erotic.
I wish that this seller would understand that just because a piece has a subject with its sand papered cock hanging out does not mean you can call it erotic.
All these years I’ve been explaining sex to my kids in an age-appropriate way as they asked questions and all I had to do was let them get a Facebook profile and play FarmVille.
I think this is secretly fabulous after looking at it for 20 more seconds. Too bad it’s $500. Bring it down to $5, and you sold yourself some farmville porn, mister *spit* *tilts hat*.
Dear male artists, if you are going to make sculptures/paintings of my erotic fantasy man, could you please make one without hair? Or at the very least, make one that doesn’t look like he got shot by a porcupine. Thanks.
You know, sometimes it’s just downright irritating that you can’t unsee stuff. Like Jethro and his schlong here. I could really have done perfectly well without ever laying eyes on him.
#79 Hate to break it to you and the ladies at work. My research shows this to be a gay farm “hand” circa 1970′s gay porn.
Play or be PLAYED! The rated X version FARMVILLE EXTREME!!!!
Those grass clippings/quills/mosquitos have to be itchy.. he’s not ‘rubbing one off’ he’s just really itchy in his sensitive place..right?right? I’ll just tell myself that when I see this in my nightmares..
Wow, he took off his clothes before rolling around in the wet grass to catch that snake. Heroic, cares about his appearance amd leaves his boots on – that’s my kinda man right there ladies.
that stuff on his stomach look more like staples or stitches from a C-section than they do hair. I realize the rest of you couldn’t get past the penis. The angry angry penis.
I see that there are a lot of penises in this ‘artist’ ‘s sculptures. Nothing wrong with that. But if you’re going for homoerotic, fucking do it right.
June 24, 2010 at 1:36 pm
speechless
wow.
June 24, 2010 at 1:37 pm
I CAN quit you.
June 24, 2010 at 1:37 pm
His frank-n-beans look like they’ve been skinned alive. Ouch!
June 24, 2010 at 1:38 pm
I don’t know what’s creepier. The eye of the cow, or the eye of the willie.
June 24, 2010 at 1:38 pm
why does it look like his lung is trying to escape his chest?
June 24, 2010 at 1:39 pm
Me thinks Mr. Farmer over there should see a doctor.
Me also thinks I’m going to need therapy after this.
June 24, 2010 at 1:41 pm
#5 VikingKvinna: I was confused about that, too. That lung your seeing is his leg that is bent and against his chest.
June 24, 2010 at 1:42 pm
I can only hope & pray that Mr. Carpaneda
gets a case of carpal tunnel syndrome from repetitive motion and resultant severe blistercockitis & rides off very very far into the sunset.
June 24, 2010 at 1:42 pm
I’d be more worried about the placement of the cow next to a naked farmer…
June 24, 2010 at 1:44 pm
So, THIS is why Farmville is so popular!
June 24, 2010 at 1:45 pm
That shit is just plain disturbing… o_O
June 24, 2010 at 1:45 pm
Why is his wanger beet red and covered in ants?
June 24, 2010 at 1:47 pm
Clay Achin’.
June 24, 2010 at 1:49 pm
Just out of curiosity, where do you suppose the “artist” who created this envisioned it being displayed? Having a difficult time picturing this on the mantel!
June 24, 2010 at 1:49 pm
It’s not enough that cows have to be treated like a lump of meat with no feelings, no consciousness, no soul, now they have to be around this hideous lump of meet jerking off his bloody lump of meat.
June 24, 2010 at 1:50 pm
Thank god it’s enclosed in a box because otherwise I’m sure all my guests would try to touch it.
June 24, 2010 at 1:51 pm
i love that our hirsute farmer friend couldn’t be bothered w/clothes but kept the hat, the boots, and the kerchief. that’s totally how i like to spend my days in the barn…
tell ya what, add me as a f’ville neighbor and i’ll gift you the lube if you PROMISE to gift back the ribbed cock sleeve. it’s rare and a must-have or the crops just won’t come in…
thx!
June 24, 2010 at 1:51 pm
Shit! I surrender-I have not been able to post a single sentance this week w/o a typo or misspelled word.
meet-meat
June 24, 2010 at 1:51 pm
Once they’ve been down on the farm, how are ya gonna get ‘em back to Paree?
June 24, 2010 at 1:52 pm
yes it is clay, and yes, it is 3D so you could call it sculpture… but erotic? does ANYONE find this erotic? …..anyone?
June 24, 2010 at 1:53 pm
Ham – you should go into the vinyl wall fecal business.
June 24, 2010 at 1:53 pm
This puts the rot in erotic.
June 24, 2010 at 1:53 pm
Whatever did farmers do before the days of studded butt plugs?
June 24, 2010 at 1:54 pm
I’m not sure what offends me more, how disturbing it is or the fact that it costs $500.
June 24, 2010 at 1:55 pm
@ LeeLoo-Too much competition .
June 24, 2010 at 1:55 pm
Wait… so is he Brokeback Mountain-ing it with the cow? Or is he just fantasizing about Heath Ledger? So confusing.
I have to admit, though, unfortunate theme aside, I kind of dig the workmanship that went into it.
June 24, 2010 at 1:56 pm
ok, you know that’s human hair that’s being used right??????
June 24, 2010 at 1:57 pm
what is wrong with that guy’s unit????
seriously…seek medical help dude!
June 24, 2010 at 2:00 pm
#20 jaqthehat: I’m almost certain that this is not erotic. I’m about…300% sure that this is not remotely erotic.
I wish that this seller would understand that just because a piece has a subject with its sand papered cock hanging out does not mean you can call it erotic.
June 24, 2010 at 2:01 pm
carpanedaunderground got a priapism and wants to share it with you on Farmville! [comment] [like] [get some]
June 24, 2010 at 2:04 pm
It’s FarmVille, not ArmVille.
June 24, 2010 at 2:05 pm
Dude, this isn’t what we wanted when we hired a “farm hand”!
June 24, 2010 at 2:08 pm
All these years I’ve been explaining sex to my kids in an age-appropriate way as they asked questions and all I had to do was let them get a Facebook profile and play FarmVille.
Well damn.
June 24, 2010 at 2:08 pm
I seem to recall some complaints about all the vagina posts. Be careful what you ask for.
June 24, 2010 at 2:08 pm
:::runs away sobbing:::
June 24, 2010 at 2:09 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
June 24, 2010 at 2:16 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
June 24, 2010 at 2:19 pm
Human hair??? Looks like grass clippings to me.
June 24, 2010 at 2:20 pm
Just went to his store – it’s human hair. Ew.
June 24, 2010 at 2:21 pm
A well done piece in bad taste. I cannot hate on it though.
June 24, 2010 at 2:34 pm
Im keeping with the earlier theme, I believe they misspelled the “artist’s” last name.
June 24, 2010 at 2:37 pm
If I were that cow I wouldn’t be drinking from that bucket right now.
June 24, 2010 at 2:45 pm
That cow is way too trusting.
June 24, 2010 at 2:55 pm
I never felt more sorry for a sculptural representation of a cow than I do right at this moment.
June 24, 2010 at 3:00 pm
Somehow I keep thinking of these lines:
‘It’s a mess aint it sheriff?’
‘If it aint it’ll do til the mess gets here’.(from ‘No Country for Old men’)
June 24, 2010 at 3:04 pm
Well shit, now I’m gonna’ have the Farmville theme song in my head all night.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7dF96UFfGrw
June 24, 2010 at 3:05 pm
@ #40 raven : A well done piece in bad taste.
I don’t know……. that piece is looking quite red.
I’d call it medium rare but not well done.
June 24, 2010 at 3:08 pm
I think this is secretly fabulous after looking at it for 20 more seconds. Too bad it’s $500. Bring it down to $5, and you sold yourself some farmville porn, mister *spit* *tilts hat*.
June 24, 2010 at 3:10 pm
Is this the visual arts and crafts equivalent of Farmville erotic fan fiction?
On second thought, I’m not sure I want to ponder the meaning of “Farmville erotic fan fiction”.
June 24, 2010 at 3:15 pm
I’m pretty sure the inventors of Sculpey never imagined this day would come to pass.
June 24, 2010 at 3:21 pm
Is a soon-to-be-recovering FarmVille addict, the photoshop made me cry happy tears of joy.
June 24, 2010 at 3:23 pm
Seriously, I wanted to shop him into something wacky, but then I thought… there’s just nothing that’s going to be funnier than this already is.
June 24, 2010 at 3:24 pm
Is it me, or does the cow look like it wants to say, “Sweet sufferin’ Siddhartha, get me out of here!!”
June 24, 2010 at 3:33 pm
He’s just trying to feel up his sense.
June 24, 2010 at 3:35 pm
to me it looks like the cow is more annoyed than anything else
June 24, 2010 at 3:36 pm
That cow looks surprisingly unimpressed.
June 24, 2010 at 3:46 pm
Just add an outdoor webcam and you’ve got Chatroulette!
June 24, 2010 at 4:08 pm
So this is how chicken bitches are made!
June 24, 2010 at 4:12 pm
#42 Snark-o-leptic Cesar: “If I were that cow I wouldn’t be drinking from that bucket right now.”
You made me scream with that comment. Thumbs up to you Snark-O.
June 24, 2010 at 5:40 pm
The cow is definately not in the moooooooooooD
thinking “plltz – I’ve got four of those – where’s your other three…”
June 24, 2010 at 5:43 pm
This COULD be rigged up to make one heck of a fountain!!!
June 24, 2010 at 5:47 pm
cowboi
June 24, 2010 at 5:48 pm
#61 Stretch65 :
You think like a city boy.
Butter churn is much more appropriate you know, with the milk …….. and all the….
June 24, 2010 at 5:55 pm
I swear to God, all I can think of is that old commercial…”Snausages!”.
June 24, 2010 at 6:04 pm
That poor cow has to wait for him to finish before she gets milked – she looks like she’s going to burst!
June 24, 2010 at 6:33 pm
That cowboy is WAY more than five inches.
June 24, 2010 at 6:51 pm
The statue’s body hair looks like the artist shaved off his pubes, rolled the figure in glue, and then tossed it with the shaved pubes.
June 24, 2010 at 7:14 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
June 24, 2010 at 7:17 pm
#68-BAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Snort.
June 24, 2010 at 8:00 pm
There were 69 comments. I had to go and ruin it and be #70
June 24, 2010 at 8:06 pm
Dear male artists, if you are going to make sculptures/paintings of my erotic fantasy man, could you please make one without hair? Or at the very least, make one that doesn’t look like he got shot by a porcupine. Thanks.
June 24, 2010 at 8:43 pm
Getting shot by a porcupine could explain why his genitalia look so inflamed.
June 24, 2010 at 10:28 pm
Snausages in a blankket – he actually looks uncut
June 24, 2010 at 10:57 pm
The pit hair is really driving me wild.
June 24, 2010 at 11:24 pm
If it is a real farm that isn’t hair it is those giant mosquitos.
June 25, 2010 at 3:11 am
To bad. My Mom’s a big Farmville fan. Can you imagine if I bought this for her for Mother’s Day?
Maybe not. It would probably have been her last. She’d have opened the UPS box, and then dropped dead in horror right on the spot.
June 25, 2010 at 3:12 am
You know, sometimes it’s just downright irritating that you can’t unsee stuff. Like Jethro and his schlong here. I could really have done perfectly well without ever laying eyes on him.
June 25, 2010 at 4:11 am
So I’ll be the corny one and say this is “udderly” ridiculous.
June 25, 2010 at 7:28 am
WHAT IS THIS I DON’T EVEN
Maybe this explains why all the ladies at my work are obsessed with Farmville?
Excuse me. I have to go throw up now.
June 25, 2010 at 8:51 am
#79 Hate to break it to you and the ladies at work. My research shows this to be a gay farm “hand” circa 1970′s gay porn.
Play or be PLAYED! The rated X version FARMVILLE EXTREME!!!!
June 25, 2010 at 10:01 am
And I thought that debris all over his body was grass clippings. My bad.
June 25, 2010 at 10:13 am
Is it just me, or does the cow look frightened?
June 25, 2010 at 10:37 am
#80 I don’t know whether to be relieved or even more nauseated. Wait, yes I do. *urp*
Who thinks stuff like this is sexy?? I am going to have nightmares about this statue’s testicles for the next fifty years.
June 25, 2010 at 10:52 am
Those grass clippings/quills/mosquitos have to be itchy.. he’s not ‘rubbing one off’ he’s just really itchy in his sensitive place..right?right? I’ll just tell myself that when I see this in my nightmares..
June 25, 2010 at 11:38 am
Wow, he took off his clothes before rolling around in the wet grass to catch that snake. Heroic, cares about his appearance amd leaves his boots on – that’s my kinda man right there ladies.
June 25, 2010 at 12:11 pm
He gives ‘branding a cow’ a whole new meaning.
June 25, 2010 at 1:08 pm
WEll the other night at the tavern he said his wife was a big fat cow, so what did you expect?
June 26, 2010 at 9:07 am
that stuff on his stomach look more like staples or stitches from a C-section than they do hair. I realize the rest of you couldn’t get past the penis. The angry angry penis.
June 26, 2010 at 1:40 pm
I see that there are a lot of penises in this ‘artist’ ‘s sculptures. Nothing wrong with that. But if you’re going for homoerotic, fucking do it right.
February 6, 2011 at 6:46 pm
bugger, if this wasn’t behind glass I would buy it.