VBAC TMI
“I was just admiring your necklace.”
“Oh, thank you! Did you do VBAC?”
“No, I’ve never been to Canada.”
“Oh, it’s not a mountain. It means ‘Vaginal Birth After Cesarean’. I delivered two babies from my vagina after my C-section!”
“Okay…”
“Some people don’t want vaginal births after Cesareans because during labor, the uterus can split open along the old C-section scar. But I didn’t have a uterine rupture or an infection or a bowel injury! I rock!”
“Will you excuse me? I need some more meatballs.”
June 23, 2010 at 1:32 pm
“Will you excuse me? I need some more meatballs.”
bwahahaaaaa!
June 23, 2010 at 1:33 pm
For chrissakes, seriously??? Now you need a necklace to tell people your pussy works the way God intended? Well congratufuckinlations.
June 23, 2010 at 1:33 pm
“VBAC holds a special place in my heart”
Someone needs an anatomy lesson.
June 23, 2010 at 1:33 pm
No one cares about your goddamn vagina.
June 23, 2010 at 1:33 pm
Well I have not had the rare privilege of climbing MY VBAC but last week my HVAC broke and that was a beast to fix. We did it though!
June 23, 2010 at 1:35 pm
There is really a market for these.
June 23, 2010 at 1:36 pm
Wait, you have to squeeze ‘em out at high altitude after a cesarean? I guess that’s so your uterus doesn’t explode…?
June 23, 2010 at 1:36 pm
I’d like 2,000. STAT.
June 23, 2010 at 1:37 pm
I labored for a short but excrutiating 4 hours without the use of drugs or painkillers. Then I was high as a kite on natural endorphins. And THEN I hemorrhaged and almost died. Can I get that shit on a necklace?
June 23, 2010 at 1:37 pm
‘someone’ on top with a flag? Shouldn’t it be a woman? I mean, if it’s a man I have way more questions than are appropriate.
June 23, 2010 at 1:40 pm
My second child weighed 11 lbs even and was 22 1/2 inches tall at birth. Totally natural. That’s right, I’d like a necklace bragging that I pushed an 8-week old child out through my vagina.
March 29, 2011 at 4:44 pm
I think you should have your bajingo bronzed.
June 23, 2010 at 1:40 pm
How do you say too fucking much info in Csanadianese?
When that poor kid grows up they will be mortified.
June 23, 2010 at 1:40 pm
If the creator of this necklace reads these posts I want to sincerely let you know that it really sounds painful and I am glad you and your babies survived.
June 23, 2010 at 1:41 pm
so…is this “wear with a little black dress” special? or is this more of a “jeans and t-shirt at the company picnic” special?
June 23, 2010 at 1:43 pm
A little flag burning is healthy every now & then.
June 23, 2010 at 1:46 pm
VBAC sounds like a vacuam attachment , which is way too creepy to be associated with anything havig to do with a birth announcement.
June 23, 2010 at 1:47 pm
i will never understand the stigma attached to having a child c-section…
am i less of a mom because my stubborn little bundle of joy wouldn’t turn around head first?
are women who adopt and skip the vag entirely…are they less of a mom?
are you so hung up on the category of your labor, that you need a necklace to make you feel less bad about how you had the first one? nor do you require a pithy acronym. you don’t need a mountain. you need priorities.
i’ll get off my soapbox…
June 23, 2010 at 1:48 pm
I was totally picturing a baby delivered by caesarian, and then crammed back in there and delivered vaginally. Wikipedia has now set me straight, but that moment of confusion was priceless.
June 23, 2010 at 1:48 pm
My best friend is a doula. From my understanding the biggest deal about VBACs is convincing the hospital staff to let you do it. So the necklace should really depict a preggo woman arguing with a doctor.
June 23, 2010 at 1:48 pm
I just love the “Trailing spots of fresh cuntinal blood” fabric that she’s using as a backdrop there. Very tasteful and not at all disgustingly inappropriate.
June 23, 2010 at 1:48 pm
The male counterpart pendant:
http://i111.photobucket.com/albums/n140/joshpincusiscrying/JPiC_pendant.jpg
June 23, 2010 at 1:51 pm
Now I’m sure all of us here are glad that this person and her babies are fine and healthy and such. I don’t think it even needs to be said.
Now back to our regularly scheduled fuckery…
June 23, 2010 at 1:51 pm
Does your first kid know that he’s not as special to you as his VBAC siblings? I mean, I’m sure there’s a place in your heart for him too, just not as special a place.
“Oh, Jimmy? He only got a B+ in math this year, but then again he IS the caesarian one. You know how they are! Now Jenny and Johnny here, these precious little VBACs got straight A’s!”
June 23, 2010 at 1:53 pm
Add that to the growing list: I don’t care about your farm fish fish farm vulva yadayadayada
June 23, 2010 at 1:54 pm
As a personal double VBAC, I have never considered wearing jewelry to celebrate. The kids were prize enough.
June 23, 2010 at 1:55 pm
I’ve never had a C-section in the first place, does that make my kid less special? Go Team Vagina!
June 23, 2010 at 1:58 pm
@#17, I don’t think there is a stigma attached to delivering C-section. I think the stigma is attached to the medical system which pushes women into C-sections when they don’t necessarily need them.
June 23, 2010 at 1:58 pm
If I might observe…
“All of my pieces are lovingly handcrafted in my studio on Bainbridge Island, WA”
1. Nobody cares about your vagina.
2. Nobody thinks Bainbridge blows magick fairy dust on your work, either.
June 23, 2010 at 1:58 pm
Can I ask: why is this VBAC process a mountain one has to climb? What are you proving to yourself? That you reclaimed your womanhood that was stolen from you the day the baby got the cord wrapped around her neck? That you’ve triumphed over common sense AND medical science by having a potentially life-threatening vaginal birth? That you’re better than all those other bitches that pussied out at the foot of Mount Birth-The-Way-God-Intended-It and decided to have subsequent c-sections?
June 23, 2010 at 1:59 pm
My aren’t we a smug Bitch! So proud you have nothing else to brag about La Dee Dah! My daughter was an emergency C, and would of died without it so FUCK YOU. As Bronc said, no one cares about your goddamn vagina!
Patty is the one who deserves a damn necklace ouch!
June 23, 2010 at 1:59 pm
You know what? I don’t know what to say. I feel like ever since I joined Regretsy all I hear about are everyone else’s vagina and vulva and ovaries and menstrual cycle and childbirth and breast milk and uterus and placenta and you name it. Hell I even know that tampons can be made into air fresheners with squiggle eyes. It makes me want a sex change.
But what I fail to understand is, how does any of this bring awareness to people about women? Can someone explain it to me?
June 23, 2010 at 1:59 pm
I would like when I have kids to get one that says They knocked my ass out and told me this kid is mine
June 23, 2010 at 1:59 pm
My 3rd child was a VBAC (after 2 C/S). She died because she was premature. Do you have a necklace for that one? Didn’t think so. I’ll take a healthy C/S baby over the dead one any day of the week.
June 23, 2010 at 1:59 pm
she also has a pendant that says HBAC and has a picture of a house….
if she gave birth to a HOUSE after c-section then i take it all back…she deserves jewelry.
June 23, 2010 at 2:02 pm
#17 Curlytopnola- I agree.
Is it really that important how the baby came out as long as everything went well??!!
June 23, 2010 at 2:05 pm
I think instead of saying “Will you excuse me? I need some more meatballs.”, I would say “Will you excuse me? I need another drink. For some odd reason I have and image of a ruptured uterus in my head and I’d really like to try to un-see that before my own uterus starts having nightmares.”
June 23, 2010 at 2:05 pm
*I have an image. I can’t type today.
June 23, 2010 at 2:07 pm
Was she that hard up for new ideas that THIS is what was left? Lets see…I have already done cute silver birds. Those were a hit. Hazaa! I got it. This is gonna blow the VBAC community away!
June 23, 2010 at 2:11 pm
Mmmm, meatballs.
June 23, 2010 at 2:13 pm
If she’d given birth to quintuplets while climbing Mt. Fuji , who were delivered singlehandedly by her Buddhist sherpa while he simultaneously snacked on blowfish-I’d be interested in hearing about it.
June 23, 2010 at 2:15 pm
30 SuperSnark: My 1st- 9lbs, 4oz, 20 1/2 ins tall; my 3rd- 8lbs 4oz, 21 ins tall. And baby 3 popped out on the bed before the doctor was in the room.
Of course, following her 11-pounds-two-feet-tall brother, it was probably like Memorial Day at the water park.
And now everyone has heard enough about my magical expanding vagina and uterus of steel.
June 23, 2010 at 2:16 pm
@ #31 redredred : Do people need awareness about women? Is Regretsy really the place to even GAIN awareness about women?
Well then, let me help you out *steps up to chalk board, picks up pointer*:
Women are people.
We make up roughly half the population.
We have boobs and vajayjays.
Some of us like to make ridiculous crap-crafts about said boobs and vajayjays.
Feel better-informed now?
June 23, 2010 at 2:16 pm
#40 hamoza: I quite literally LOLed at that and now everyone else in my house thinks I’m crazy and laughed out of context. But it was worth it.
June 23, 2010 at 2:16 pm
#34 curlytopnola : “she also has a pendant that says HBAC and has a picture of a house”
I’m gonna assume that means Home Birth After C-section? Even better. I know that if I had to deliver my baby via emergency surgery, I’d be sure to have that next birth as far away from a hospital as possible. That’ll show those goddamn OBGYNs how strong of a woman I am!
Hopefully the baby and I can survive this natural home birth. Hey, only the strong survive! You know, like in nature.
June 23, 2010 at 2:19 pm
#43@ redredred-I got soooooo carried away! Glad it made you laugh!
June 23, 2010 at 2:21 pm
@redredred-p.s. I actually did hike Mt. Fuji & along the way acquired a urinary tract problem(crepe paper t.p.)but I’d never share that on a necklace-only on the internet on Regretsy!!!
June 23, 2010 at 2:23 pm
We needn’t worry about this troubled cocktail conversation happening, because no one would EVER admire that necklace.
June 23, 2010 at 2:23 pm
My 2nd kid and I almost died when my uterus ruptured. It really pisses me off that we (women) have this shitty competition attitude. Breast feeding is superior. VBAC is for REAL women. If you don’t do this, you obviously don’t love your kids and are a shitty mom. I did blank so my kids are better and superior. Fuck, can’t we spend a little less time tearing each other down and a little more time doing something productive? (Except for Regretsy. April is awesomesauce and makes me LOL.)
June 23, 2010 at 2:24 pm
#42 Efit: No, I don’t really seek awareness about…well anything…from Regretsy. I come here to enjoy the sarcasm. I looked back at my post and it does sound like I was mad at Regretsy about these vagoo related postings which I’m not. I’m sorry I really did type that out wrong. What I mean is that a lot of the Etsy sellers seem to think that they’re advocating some kind of cause by their crap crafts (Not all of them. But some.). And I really don’t get it.
June 23, 2010 at 2:30 pm
I have two more for her.
FBAC: Freeway Birth After Cesarean
SBBAC: Starbucks Bathroom Birth After Cesarean
June 23, 2010 at 2:32 pm
#33 kulaka: I’m so sorry:-(
June 23, 2010 at 2:33 pm
Is there a “Nobody Cares About Your Vagina” shirt yet?
June 23, 2010 at 2:36 pm
#33@kulaka-my heart goes out to you.
June 23, 2010 at 2:37 pm
#52 @ mistletoe=’is there a’ nobody cares about your vagina ‘shirt-sort of-’Even badgers lactate’ is pretty close-
June 23, 2010 at 2:37 pm
Can I bet a pendant that says “I nursed for four years” with a picture of two kids sitting on a pancake?
June 23, 2010 at 2:37 pm
#46 hamoza: *snorts* That just made me picture some seller out there posting “Convo me about my custom made “UTPACPTPWHMF necklace” (Uninary tract problem after crepe paper toilet paper while hiking Mt. Fiji.).
Aside from my dorky thoughts, I think it’s really cool that you did that when there are times that I find climbing subway stairs to be really damn annoying.
June 23, 2010 at 2:37 pm
#29 Iam: My thoughts EXACTLY.
June 23, 2010 at 2:38 pm
http://www.etsy.com/listing/40576126/home-birth-rockstell-acog-to-shove
Woah, hostile much?? Damn those Obstetricians and Gynecologists, who have gone through umpteen-million hours of med school and training. How dare they tell you what is medically sound!
June 23, 2010 at 2:59 pm
I guess that VBAC is better than Shop VAC – but all together TMI TMI TMI
I agree with #21 but mine reads “MY FARTS DON’T SMELL”
June 23, 2010 at 2:59 pm
Wouldn’t it be a Valley? That’d be more appropriate. Or an arroyo. Maybe a gorge.
Change the pin to “My kid rode out of VBAC Canyon.”
Or this:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/0903/billsbayou/vagina-rock-1.jpg
June 23, 2010 at 3:02 pm
@#49 redredred: I hear ya. My earlier comment was a flurry of sarcasm and funtimes with you as my whipping boy. And for the record, I meant to spell excruciating the right way in my #9 comment. Derp!
June 23, 2010 at 3:06 pm
Maybe we need a TMI Pin Collection:
Ask me about my colostomy bag!
I had my vagina tightened!
I had sex this morning; wanna sniff?
I’m looking for a good therapist. Ask me why.
My dog has weak bladder control.
June 23, 2010 at 3:12 pm
Is it wrong that I am more annoyed by the choice of font than anything else? Though I suppose the whimsicle’ness of the font could be an attempt to off-set the general smugness of the message.
June 23, 2010 at 3:18 pm
#61 Efit: It’s all good. Just wanted to clear up any possible misunderstandings if there were any.
June 23, 2010 at 3:41 pm
a lot of my friends thought i was going to give birth at home cuz that’s what my mom did… good thing i was in a hospital… the heartbeat went down 15 hours after my water broke (i think the cord was wrapped around him, but i’m not sure, its kinda hazy) they took him out by vacuum… they were already talking about c-section… lucky me. but at home we wouldn’t have been equipped for this.
June 23, 2010 at 3:59 pm
This thread takes itself a little too seriously.
I say we all just get drunk and make out.
June 23, 2010 at 4:03 pm
@Patty-
I gave birth to an almost 11 pound baby naturally, too. I want the necklace that says “It felt like I squeezed a bowling ball through my nostril”.
June 23, 2010 at 4:06 pm
With all this talk about vagina – I keep flashing back to the last episode of True Blood which had a werewolf who in man form was named COOTER
June 23, 2010 at 4:09 pm
oh you all make me laugh so hard, thank you so much. #63 darling: yea the font was the first thing that made me decide to dislike the pendant
June 23, 2010 at 4:10 pm
I think there should be a Medal for this one:
FBMAC- First Bowel Movement After Childbirth (screw the ceasarean).
OR (better named): I shit glass.
June 23, 2010 at 4:22 pm
Sometimes it’s annoying when certain people brag about their kids . . .
It’s even MORE annoying when people brag about their childbirth experiences . . .
Seriously, I don’t walk around with a “I’m-so-proud-I-had-a-c-section-and-still-have-the-va-jay-jay-of-a-twenty-two-year-old” . . .
June 23, 2010 at 4:46 pm
#70 I’ve heard stories all the pain meds you’re given delivering “naturally” clog you up BIGTIME !!
June 23, 2010 at 4:59 pm
Hamoza, POR VOUS:
http://i990.photobucket.com/albums/af28/sunshynegrll/tmi.jpg
June 23, 2010 at 5:34 pm
Potentially inappropriate places to wear VBAC necklace:
1. Vacation Bible School
2. Whitewater Rafting on the Nantahala
3. Noon showing Toy Story 3
4. Second International Mountain Summit Press Conference (during awards)
5. White House Correspondents’ Association (WHCA) annual dinner with the president
6. Parent/Teacher Conferences
7. While a contestant on “Jeopardy”
and…
8. EVERYWHERE ELSE!
June 23, 2010 at 5:35 pm
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June 23, 2010 at 5:38 pm
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June 23, 2010 at 5:44 pm
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June 23, 2010 at 5:49 pm
@ #75 jessemphotos –
Guess what? Comedy is an art form. Now you owe all the people on Regretsy practicing the art of comedy an apology.
Get over it. If the jokes are going over your head then you don’t have to laugh.
June 23, 2010 at 5:49 pm
@VEDD # 73- MERCI BEAUCOUP!bahahahahaaha awesomesaucy!
June 23, 2010 at 5:50 pm
Besides a VBAC w/o Epidural would have been much more impressive.
June 23, 2010 at 5:51 pm
Well, I just want to go on record to all my Regretsy cyberfriends. I care about each and every one of your vaginas.
June 23, 2010 at 6:02 pm
Make one of these for my next pinochle party: IAMYVIST
“I adopted. My vagoo is tight!”
June 23, 2010 at 6:08 pm
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June 23, 2010 at 6:11 pm
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June 23, 2010 at 6:14 pm
Is giving birth through your vajayjay so special you need a necklace? Seriously? I don’t have kids, so someone inform me.
June 23, 2010 at 6:16 pm
‘EVEN BADGERS LACTATE’ bears repeating , (only 20% in any year for the record)
Anyhoo, I climbed Mt.______________________________
and all I got was this crappy necklace.
June 23, 2010 at 6:20 pm
#83
What exactly is wrong with high school girls having a bull session , and if we’re all so plebian and immature , what are you doing here?
June 23, 2010 at 6:44 pm
OH MY GOD! Flouncing Alert! This is not a drill! High horses are very dangerous when mixed with sanctimoaning!
June 23, 2010 at 7:06 pm
#83 jessemphotos said:
“You’re right comedy is an art form… But there is a giant differnce between being funny and just being a plain asshole.”
Jokes (by definition) aren’t meant to be taken seriously. When you respond the way you do, you are guilty of taking a JOKE seriously.
Then you become an asshole and a hypocrite since you are criticizing people for “criticizing” people.
Seriously your asshole is showing.
June 23, 2010 at 7:09 pm
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June 23, 2010 at 7:32 pm
Etsy is starting to remind me of the train station in Munich where one could get a their hands on anything & never have to leave if so inclined.
Buy a car, a bucket of pigs feet, wrap yourself in the luxury of a vintage downcycled felted diaper and settle in.
June 23, 2010 at 7:33 pm
#75 jessemphotos: Oh, I don’t know. I doubt I’d have any trouble at all making fun of someone’s $100,000 Pridemobile if it were a RAV-4 decorated with rainbow stickers and a rainbow flag on the antenna!
June 23, 2010 at 7:35 pm
Wow, I’m so ferklemt , I posted on the wrong thread. I believe it still applies tho’.
June 23, 2010 at 7:52 pm
“I felt after my first VBAC like I could do anything”
Maybe it was that Demerol in the epidural.
It is known to you know, make you feel like you could do anything for a little while.
June 23, 2010 at 8:04 pm
Everyone has their cryhole “line”, ya know? I hope that, should the day ever come that my own gets crossed here, I just stfu and click the red X instead of behaving like a sanctimonious douche.
June 23, 2010 at 8:22 pm
Jesus, did you see the other “maternity-based” items in her gallery?
“As a mom of three, I love this pendant and created her when I was pregnant with my third child (my second VBAC WOO HOO!). This sterling silver pendant/slide is a pregnant woman with a detailed child in her belly. She stands approximately 1.63″ tall and her whopping belly makes her .31″ wide!”
June 23, 2010 at 8:23 pm
Thank you regretsy for posting my VBAC pendant and I’m loving all the comments. What’s especially lovely is that today is my birthday as well. How great to be trashed when you turn 39! My pendant doesn’t reflect that if you had a VBAC you’re a real woman (#48). There is no competition here. If one did a tiny bit of research, one might realize that VBACs really are important for many women and yes, #35, it is important how they come out. #94, there was no epidural when I had my VBAC.
Happy Birthday! – HK
June 23, 2010 at 8:33 pm
Thanks #13 – my children are all beautiful and healthy and yes, even the one born first via c-section! #14, I would say this could be worn with the little black dress or with the jeans and t-shirt – it’s multifunctional. #19 – great idea for a next pendant and so true! #80 – see previous comment that I did have my VBAC w/o an epidural – thanks for being impressed.
Thanks to #75! GO TEAM VAGINA!
June 23, 2010 at 8:35 pm
#97 thesilverdiva : I’m impressed.
Could you please explain how to climb a vaginal birth?
It can be either before or after C-section.
(Psst! please don’t make the mistake of taking me seriously. Its just a bad joke.)
June 23, 2010 at 8:43 pm
You are WAY too interested in your cooter, lady.
June 23, 2010 at 9:13 pm
YOU CAN USE IT MULTIPURPOSE!
June 23, 2010 at 9:25 pm
Hmmmm. All this reminds me of a time I had an ingrown toe nail. I couldn’t get it out so a doctor cut it out for me.
The next time it happened I did it myself.
Silverdiva, you got a pendant for that?
June 23, 2010 at 9:29 pm
Yeah, I’ll csection again. I’m a mom, I don’t need to enter a vagathon to prove I’m as much of a woman as someone else. Or a necklace… be proud, that’s what chatrooms are for.
June 23, 2010 at 10:22 pm
I know I’m late for this, but is she congratulating herself because she was lucky enough that her uterus didn’t burst? I mean, I didn’t think that was a part I had that kind of control over. Hmm.
June 23, 2010 at 10:44 pm
I got a VBAC … i vbac’d a 7lb9 baby 25months after sectioned twins. my lady garden wears the scars as a badge of honour, but im not showing you unless you pay me good money. uterine rupture isn’t that common, i think most of it is surgeon scaremongery who want to get you zipped open and moved out – i’ve seen that film with that talk show host in …
June 23, 2010 at 10:59 pm
*Blinks*
Childbirth sounds so much fun now….I’m going to go sit in a dark corner.
June 23, 2010 at 11:39 pm
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June 23, 2010 at 11:45 pm
I want one made that is a picture of the Grand Canyon cus I squeezed 3 kids out my vajajay and I’m dang proud of it.
June 24, 2010 at 12:57 am
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June 24, 2010 at 1:10 am
Next in the series:
“Proud Of Breathing Air For __ Years!”
“I’m A Special Snowflake Because My Reproductive System Works!”
The necklace for sale *should* say “I Had A VBAC/Homebirth Because My Wishes/Ego/Fears Were Paramount — and My Baby Was Lucky Enough To Avoid Permanent Damage!”
Offended? Go whine to friends I’ve had that have CP (or parents whose baby died or was severely disabled) because the mom had troubled labor and resisted a c-section and/or going to a hospital.
June 24, 2010 at 1:28 am
#109 Jessemphotos, everyone gets to rate comments, and ones with negative scores are hidden. It’s not any one person’s choice.
Regretsy’s a snark humor site, and there’s no sacred cows here — not mommies, not chicks in knit sweaters, not even men that squirt paint out their buttholes. If you’re not into snark, or can’t stand the idea of birth getting the same treatment as every other topic, you should probably go hang elsewhere.
June 24, 2010 at 1:29 am
(Though if you really want to pitch fits, hey, I’ve heard Regretsy on Facebook is a fun place to do it…)
June 24, 2010 at 4:01 am
@105:
apparantly it depends on how they cut the uterus (not your stomach). if its on bottom there isn’t much chance of rupture.
i know someone whose first was a c-section and the next 5 were vaginal…
June 24, 2010 at 6:23 am
Look, you must understand and I could probably speak for most men, this necklace would lead to a conversation that we as a general public are not prepared to understand. Nor do we want a full description. That being said this site is loaded with people who have made there experiences funny so that they could get through the pain. Call me crazy but life is hard and if you don’t laugh you will cry or become a raging alcoholic. This site nearly made me wet my pants yesterday. I am grateful.
June 24, 2010 at 6:50 am
It does not lessen what you went through as a woman. As you can clearly see no one disputes that. I can honestly say I never knew what this was before your necklace so thanks. I am always the one to hear too much information and I feel privileged to know from everyone on here that childbirth officially sounds like hell and before yesterday I was actually considering it. Thanks for clearing that up.
June 24, 2010 at 6:55 am
I’m not saying that there isn’t pressure on women to do “convenient” C-sections, but I was 5 1/5 weeks early when I was born, and my brother was late and his head was so big that he ended up being an emergency C-section. We, and my mother, would likely all be dead if it weren’t for modern medicine.
I don’t get this one-upmanship when it comes to motherhood.
June 24, 2010 at 8:16 am
@Jesse – ….Why are you here?
June 24, 2010 at 8:17 am
@ #111 xyzzy – said “If you’re not into snark, or can’t stand the idea of birth getting the same treatment as every other topic, you should probably go hang elsewhere.”
Amen, amen and AMEN!
June 24, 2010 at 8:22 am
I hate to be Captain Obvious but if you don’t like this site, well then just don’t come on here. The necklace is pretty funny. If she gets more sales because her shop is actually pretty cute then great! I would buy her other stuff, just not this for reasons I don’t even have to explain. Silver Diva, you just got a day of free advertising.
June 24, 2010 at 9:05 am
Captain Obvious to the rescue!
June 24, 2010 at 9:14 am
#101 you were refering to the Cooter – right….use multipurpose….
June 24, 2010 at 9:34 am
Everyone has said anything I might possibly come up with.
And that said after I was rendered speechless by this…interesting piece.
(Yes, yes, happy they’re healthy and all that crap)
June 24, 2010 at 10:09 am
Sanctimoaning: is this like insulin shock for people who suffer from cryabeetus?
You know why the internet’s awesome? because you can find a community of people who share your beliefs, like VBACs and home-births. Or the joy of being a sarcastic asshole.
Can I PLEASE get some zazzle merch that says “bottle-fed bully”? I’m picturing it on a onesie.
June 24, 2010 at 11:14 am
Why do people think anyone but them gives a shit about this personal stuff?
June 24, 2010 at 11:56 am
I’m hoping she does custom work. As a guy nearing 50, I want to wear a pendant letting everyone know.
“I conquered my Colonoscopy”
After having a camera shoved up my orafice, I want everyone to know what a meaningful special time it was for me.
June 24, 2010 at 1:05 pm
My toe nail pendant should say:
I climbed my ITTTDCO-TLIDIT !
translation – Infected Toenail That The Doctor Cut Out-Then Later I Did It Too.
Can all that fit on 1.5″ ?
June 24, 2010 at 1:48 pm
I’m sorry, but I stopped reading when the seller tossed out “multifunctional” because I was laughing so goddamn hard I couldn’t see straight anymore.
Anyway. Kudos to you and your vajayjay and whatever that accomplishment means to you. My c-section twins are happy for you too! But I agree with Helen…you’re way too interested in your cooter. I personally only care if mine is acting up. Otherwise, it’s sort of just there. Hopefully doing its job.
June 24, 2010 at 5:31 pm
Well maybe this seller’s va-jay-jay will fall off in the street and she can literally climb over her VBAC. Maybe her VBAC brats can play hockey with it and her c-section kid can play goalie. Make a whole VBAC spectacle out of it.
June 24, 2010 at 5:55 pm
#128 Priceless
June 24, 2010 at 6:20 pm
I could’ve sworn I smelled a flounce baking in here…
June 24, 2010 at 7:32 pm
It’s ‘away we go’. It isn’t like we are all saying it’s poorly made. Obviously she has other nice stuff. If a breastfeeding Mom, who would like the VBAC route (ME) can enjoy the snark, get over it. Waaaaaaaahhhh! I want one that says ‘ I beat constipation!’. By myself. In my home.
June 25, 2010 at 10:19 am
Nice that her kids don’t rate a mention on her necklace, but how she popped ‘em out did.
/eyeroll
June 25, 2010 at 10:23 am
“The necklace for sale *should* say “I Had A VBAC/Homebirth Because My Wishes/Ego/Fears Were Paramount — and My Baby Was Lucky Enough To Avoid Permanent Damage!””
Xyzzy, you are *officially* my new hero. Birth fetishism freaks me out.
June 25, 2010 at 1:05 pm
I am thinking up some new sayings for her. How about
I had the girth for a VBAC birth. Bitches.
VBAC Birth-It’s all about the girth.
My first kid was cut out, but my last 2 clawed their way out of my vagina head first. Yay for VBAC births!
June 25, 2010 at 1:20 pm
Puss Daddy is one of my favorite poets.
June 25, 2010 at 2:02 pm
A conversation starter for sure!
June 25, 2010 at 11:30 pm
Just don’t expect any haiku or anything Snark-o-letptic Cesar. I don’t do haiku.
June 25, 2010 at 11:57 pm
VBAC sounds to me like some kind of educational achievement.
Vaginal baccalaureate?
Oops, I should stop giving people ideas. Next they’ll be selling certificates, and mortarboards featuring knitted ‘vajayjays’.
June 28, 2010 at 9:18 pm
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July 7, 2010 at 7:45 pm
It’s a shitty necklace, unfortunately.
Women attempt VBACs for a number of reasons. The most important is that c-section risk is cumulative. A woman who can VBAC successfully may avoid future sections and lower her total risk over a series of births. Safety depends on the woman’s medical/surgical history; research supports VBAC for many women.
July 7, 2010 at 7:54 pm
As for home birth – several large, well-designed studies show that HB with a trained attendant is as safe as or safer than hospital birth for low-risk women. I know, just blew your mind. Research first, then opinion, mkay?
August 23, 2010 at 10:41 am
I just looked at this item she does:
http://www.etsy.com/listing/43727786/pregnant-lady-baby-sterling-silver
Um am I the only person to notice that the woman is missing most of her arm…
I want a pendant with ’4.5days of labour and I got stuck with an emergency c-section at the end’ on it!
September 26, 2010 at 6:44 pm
NO ONE wants to hear about your health, fertility or “how many IVFs it took to have our little miracle, Johnny”. Really.
As for VBAC, unfortunately, it’s fashionable these days to let the opinion of a few natural childbirth “advocates” trump the expertise of doctors with 10+ years of training.
October 3, 2010 at 12:28 pm
“VBAC Mountain.” i don’t know how it took me a year to get that.
i just can’t quit you.