Powell’s
Portland was incredible.
We’re about to get on a plane and head back to Los Angeles, the City Where Dreams are Raped™. So I thought I’d throw a few pics of the Powell’s signing up for your perusal, and I’ll try to get back to regular posts sometime today.
There was also an after party that got out of hand, or so I’m told. I’ve been looking at the photos people have been posting, and some of it rings a bell. I’ll sift through it all when I get home and see if anything is fit to post. I imagine those pics will be on the Facebook page.
Thank you Portland, for an incredible time. I really can’t remember having so much fun and being loved up quite so hard. It was overwhelming, and I am very grateful.
WHAT I DID AT POWELL’S CITY OF BOOKS
I wore jewelry. Two of my favorite Etsy handcrafts pictured here; the Fuckery necklace by Morphologica, and the hideous Obama-morphed-into-Bob-Marley dreamcatcher earrings that weigh about 16 pounds. I could have worn ear bolts by the time I took them out.
I read from the book at the most whimsicle podium on earth. I like to imagine Tom Brokaw stood here, reading about World War II and trying not to look like a Keebler Elf.
I signed books. LOTS of books. Someone said they waited in line for over an hour, which was amazing. I wouldn’t wait that long to get a book signed, but then, I don’t know how to to read.
I also signed this book; a blank journal signed by every author who has appeared at Powell’s. That was really exciting. I thought the book might burst into flames when I touched it, just from the sacrilege of it all. But then I saw Moby signed it too, and I didn’t feel so bad.
I took pictures. And John took pictures of people taking pictures.
I saw hats.
I wore hats and took pictures. This gentleman asked me to wear his orange cap for a picture, and I did. I made a joke about Cal Trans, but then I remembered I was in Oregon, and no one laughed.
I saw dead people. This gentlemen is wearing a T-shirt featuring the artwork from the famous “how many licks” Tootsie Pop commercial. I thought it was intentional, but he didn’t even know: my father was the voice of the owl in this commercial. And it was the day before Father’s Day, and just a few days from the 5th anniversary of my dad’s death. So it was a little weird. But not as weird as this:
I saw fuckery. These two women organized a Regretsy-themed bike ride for Pedalpalooza. The woman with the panti-liner bookmark is wearing a tie skirt, and the one on the right is wearing a vegan fish in a squirrel suit on her bike helmet (an homage to URL).
I got presents. It’s hard to see in this shot, but this woman gave me a pin she made from some very filthy text cut out of an erotic novel (here’s her store).
I also got this, which might be one of the greatest presents ever; a recreation of this classic Regretsy posting.
And tucked in the bag is a vintage 45 recording by “Fat Bob, The Singing Plumber”, which I still can’t believe is mine. But it is, so step off.
I looked in the window on the way out. And there I am, right under Christopher Hitchens. Which is not something I ever thought I’d say.
More later! Right now I have to pay Alaska Airlines to take my suitcase home.
Thanks again to everyone who made this possible – most especially Diana, who asked Powell’s to have me in the first place, and who, along with Kevin, wrote press releases and pimped this fuckery all over town.
xxx
June 21, 2010 at 9:30 am
Wow! Great pics Helen!!!! Looks like a good time was had by all!! Safe flight home!!!
June 21, 2010 at 9:45 am
Wow, there was some dreadnought level whimsical fuckery going on up in there. Mazel tov!
June 21, 2010 at 9:47 am
Do you see the resemblance between you and that book next to your shoulder? That’s hot.
That’s uncanny. I didn’t see that at all! – HK
June 21, 2010 at 9:54 am
that naughty bits looks like it came from C at http://www.etsy.com/shop/rebounddesigns
June 21, 2010 at 10:16 am
The story about the Tootsie Pop shirt gave me chills. Like the universe was letting you know you were right where you needed to be. I LOVED that commercial as a kid.
June 21, 2010 at 10:19 am
OMG-your Dad was the voice of the Tootsie Pop owl?!? No wonder you can be so altruistic-the residuals alone must have your future grandkids set for life! I hope you checked that the t-shirt dude paid appropriate licensing to you.
My dad didn’t leave his money to his kids. – HK
June 21, 2010 at 11:02 am
It was a fantastically whimsical day. You brought your own special sunshine to a drab and dreary weekend. Thanks!!
June 21, 2010 at 11:02 am
Hey that’s me in that picture with you LOL I’m the one on you’re left with the ponytail. It was totally awesome to meet you and I read the whole book cover to cover on my flight home to Vegas and totally laughed my arse off…of course the lady next to me thought I was nuts…but I showed her the book and she laughed as well
Thanks!
June 21, 2010 at 11:12 am
The Naughty Bits could be from Oddartist, as she actually calls hers Naughty Bits: http://www.etsy.com/shop/oddartist?section_id=6105254
She was profiled on a friend’s blog, so I thought of her stuff right away.
June 21, 2010 at 11:50 am
So glad it was a rollicking success, when fuckery goes terribly terribly right!
I’m so jealous I could cry, but the Bob Marley earrings remind me -’No woman no cry’.
June 21, 2010 at 11:52 am
Thanks so much for sharing, Helen. It looks like you had a great time. I wish I lived near one of your book signings. Come to Dallas in the fall when it’s not 101 degrees, like today.
June 21, 2010 at 11:56 am
I have one thing to say: “How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll pop?”
If you do it right, neither you nor the Tootsie Pop will remember.
and…
It looks like a fantastic time was had even though nobody paid for my airfare, dog boarding, and other necessities for me to be there.
June 21, 2010 at 11:56 am
Oh I’m so glad there’s a picture of good old Fat Bob (who I still don’t really think is very fat…)
I forgot to photograph it before I gave it to you.
I was wondering what that other bag thing you got was- it’s fucktastically delightful.
I’m really glad you enjoyed Portland. Did you get to witness the naked bike ride?
Oh, and thanks again for calling out Voodoo Doughnuts. They fall into the nasty category of “too hip to serve”
June 21, 2010 at 12:01 pm
You always bring the Awesomesauce, HK. Looks like the signing was a big hit. You’re so famous I just wanna touch you, in a purely worshipper/idol way, not a stalkery way.
June 21, 2010 at 12:38 pm
#12 “One – aTwoHOO…never mind”
June 21, 2010 at 12:40 pm
I can’t get past your amazing skin long enough to concentrate on the fuckery. Goddammit. I envy your skin. I want whatever foundation you’re wearing (you are wearing some, right? Please?) so I can enjoy whimsicle things and look hot.
The Tootsie owl thing would have creeped me out. I’m glad my father isn’t the voice of anything related to childhood nostalgia, but that’s because my father sort of sucks and I’d hate to burst anyone’s bubble with ‘Yeah, he sucks’ if they asked me about…
June 21, 2010 at 12:58 pm
Looks like it was really fun. How very “Twilight Zone-ish” about the Tootsie Roll shirt but also kinda nice being so close to Father’s Day.
Sure wish you’d come to Florida.
June 21, 2010 at 2:49 pm
#16 “I’d hate to burst anyones bubble” OMG!
in addition to being “Mr Owl” he was also the original voice for the SCRUBBING BUBBLES.
He worked hard – so you don’t have toooooo”
TTFN!!!
June 21, 2010 at 3:47 pm
Comment the first: I read that about your dad and I was like OMFG that is too cool! And now all I hear in my head is “ah-One… Two-hooooo…. Thrrree!”
Comment the second: Have you guys done any signings in San Franciso yet? Because I just moved here and am in serious need of a wild party.
June 21, 2010 at 3:52 pm
very cool story and pics…thanks to diana, una, and christy for making me (almost) feel as if we were all there <3
can you please come back to us massholes already?
June 21, 2010 at 4:03 pm
o great that the book is such a success! I wish I could have gone. I would have loved to meet you and grab some swag. Silly me – I keep folding the pages of my books to keep my place; a Regretsy Pantyliner bookmark would keep me stuck in the right place. Literally.
June 21, 2010 at 6:00 pm
OMG! I’m with #5! I love the tootsie pop commercial! Whenever my kids start asking random questions, the “How many licks does it take…” comes outta my mouth
They never seem to get the right answer even though we all know its “THREE”, DAMMIT!
June 21, 2010 at 6:41 pm
Like @toomanycookbooks, I too, was too distracted by April’s great skin to concentrate on the fuckery… although the obamarly earrings are pure whimfuckery.
April- what day/night cream do you use? I have a feeling that I have to start now!
June 21, 2010 at 6:56 pm
Looks like an amazing time and a good crowd too!
June 21, 2010 at 10:01 pm
“Under Christopher Hitchens” – that made my day.
Please come to Chicago, and make my summer!
June 21, 2010 at 10:15 pm
No, no, come to Cincinnati, or I will release this doomsday device^H^H^H^H^H^H^H adorable kitten.
June 21, 2010 at 10:52 pm
So wanted to be there. Was so budy pimpin’ books at the library instead. But that includes yours, so, win?
June 22, 2010 at 1:14 am
“one….tw-hoo!…crunch.” These are lessons.
can’t wait till you come East in the fall!
June 22, 2010 at 7:21 am
How do you get one of those squirrel/fish helmets? I want to turn my husband on. He has a thing for squirrel/fih helmets.
June 22, 2010 at 7:29 am
Fih? Fish
June 22, 2010 at 8:39 am
I had totally forgotten about the Tootsie Pop commercial! Although looking around my owl filled apartment I realize my sub-concious hasn’t.
June 22, 2010 at 2:36 pm
Very interesting. Especially the part about the owl/your father.
June 25, 2010 at 3:42 pm
PS yea i’m gonna ride the fuck out of the coattails on this for having my picture here! LOL
http://www.hippiechickboutique.etsy.com
July 8, 2010 at 3:07 pm
Thanks for posting a link to my shop! I have lots of new Naughty Bits available now, so if this summer weather doesn’t have you hot enough already, go check it out!
http://www.etsy.com/shop/rebounddesigns